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November 13, 2006


Land of Wild Schools

Key Quote That This Blog Believes Needs Elaboration: "This is all on the heels of serious instances with guns and fights," said Messerli, who himself was suspended for six days last month after giving a student a wedgie.


(Thanks to Leetie)


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Let me be the first to say: I think the wedgie story was blogged here.

They punch cows out in Montana, why not teachers?

Warning: not terribly funny
We had a few thugs like that in my high school. Four of them decided to pick on an older teacher with an obvious twitch. They started something. He offered all of them an invitation into a janitorial closet. Three of the thugs were taken to the hospital in ambulances and the fourth had a normal ride in a car. Turns out that the teacher was an ex Army Ranger from WWII. He got the twitch from his time as a POW in Germany. No one EVER gave him cr@p again, and the level of respect for all of our teachers increased dramatically.
/not funny

"The school cannot operate in a disrespectful environment,"

I wish that were true of my high school. They kept right on operating even though I disrespected the hell out of them.

Adults giving kids wedgies? Teenagers punching authority figures?

Where will it all end?

Fighting and guns here in Montana. Hmmm...I can't seem to identify the problem here. I mean, what does the rest of the country do for recreation?

"The primary concern is to keep this a safe place to be," Superintendent Hannibal Hannibal? Anderson.

As far as I can remember, "keep" means to possess or maintain. In this quote, the superintendent seems to be saying that the wedgies, punching, handguns, high-powered rifles define this as a safe environment and their primary concern is to keep it that way.

What color is the sky in Livingston, Montana?

Actually, I still do, and they're (public schools) still there.

blurk: recreate

Yeah, we do that, too.

Here in my part of the rest of the country, we have other things on our minds besides fighting. Guns are a given, however.

blurk, you must be so proud ;-)

Montana is a HAPPENING place!!

He gets suspended for giving a kid a wedgie and then wonders why things are out of control? Where did this guy get his teaching degree?

He gets suspended for giving a kid a wedgie and then wonders why things are out of control? Where did this guy get his teaching degree?

Sorry about the double post - the bot messed me up.

It was self-defense! The teacher was gonna give him a wedgie.

I, myself, pack a gun to protect myself from Principal wedgies and dangling participles.

My theory on the wedgie is that the faculty member was driven mad by the incredible distance between some kid's anatomical crotch and his sartorial crotch (universal standard: The distance between the AC and the SC should be not less than one nor more than three inches, when student is standing (har) erect.)

I'm sure he was just trying to shake him down into his pants.

how about the teacher that gave a student a wedgie? he deserved to be punched. not that i'm a violent person, but when a male teacher (10th grade)decided it would be funny to snap my bra strap, he got a direct kick in the nuts. he stopped grinning almost immediately. not saying that the kid had the right to punch the teacher, but respect goes both ways.

A six day suspension is only appropriate for an ATOMIC wedgie. Not your standard off the rack wedgie.

It's the old Sean Connery Rule from The Untouchables: They bring a gun, you bring a wedgie. . .

Annie -
Principal Wedgie and The Dangling Participles

Wedgies ARE a sign of respect! Didja know that? The tighter the wedgie, the more respect....at least, that is the way it was splained to me.

blurk, aren't high powered rifles standard issue in every pickup in Montana?

casey -
Where do swirlies fall on the respect scale?

OK folks...whatever you do, do NOT open the link for the mutilated cow story!! (unless you're Stephen King)

although, Mutilated Cows mightBAGNFApunkB...

new Montana school slogan : Not In The Face, Okay?

Story related to school violence:
I got off the phone a few minutes ago with my high-school-attending daughter. Her school was in lockdown for 30 minutes because they thought there was a sniper on the roof. The school is under construction, and one of the workers was seen walking around on the roof with a powered demo hammer like this, which would look quite a bit like a rifle from a distance if it had the bit inserted. Three townships worth of cops came screaming in. Everyone is laughing about it now, but it's good to know that the response is there if you need it.

What a horrible story Dread! That poor guy was only looking for the appropriate place to staple his privates to the roof and look what happened!

I get the feeling Mr. Messerli is one guy who ought to be lobbying for passage of the No Principal Left Behind Act.

Speaking of 'poor guys' and nail guns...

BREAKING WIND ALERT - Dave may or may not have a new book out that involves wedgies.

We always took our rifles to school during hunting season and thought nothing of it.

ron - you went to school during hunting season?

Dread Pirate Chris - I love that ex-ranger story. Too bad we're well into our 20s before we figure out that we aren't as smart as we thought.

*snork* @ anniewbh

YAY, Leetie!

Sadly Annie, yes.If I had it to do over again.......

"This is all on the heels of serious instances with guns and fights," said Messerli, who himself was suspended for six days last month after giving a student a wedgie.

And that was just homeschooling

Dave, since you asked here is the original wedgie story.

Note the photo of the underpants for those who don't know what they look like, though the article does not identify them as the underpants in question.

Okay - had to take a moment out of working (aagghh) to say how proud I am to be a Montanan...LOL. Wedgies from teachers - I can remember when the only teacher involved scandal involved loves affairs and babies. Ah the good ol' days.

Ciao Boogers - miss y'all lots!

*SNORK at the underpants picture

Casey is correct. Dave blogged the wedgie story when it happened.

Oh yea? Well, I sent it in LAST! My article is the LEAST original! So there.


"Just in case you've never seen a pair of a male's undershorts, here's a picture, albeit somewhat cleaner and less tossed-on-the-floor than they ordinarily appear in nature."

Uh, thanks, Sun-Times.

she is right!

CH - that is what is known as 'yellow journalism.'

"Wedgie the Christmas Miracle Dog" WBAGNF Dave's NEW BOOK.

High school teachers do not need teaching credentials, just a degree in their subject, with the exception of sports coaches who teach math classes, at least that's the way it was when I was growing up in Montana.

When you think of it, strategy in football and geometry are sort of related...

I prefer "The Miracle of the Christmas Wedgie" AKA "How My Boys Were Raised to New Heights", by Dave "Hightalker" Barry

I'm holding out for Christmas, the Miracle Whip wedgie dog by little David Barry,a.k.a.The Exploding Cow Kid.

Are we absolutely positive that blurk had nothing to do w/this?



A voir sur :

If you follow the French blogger's path, be sure to give equal time to Miss Germany, too.

Size 12 Punkin?

Yeah, so what? At least I don't tip over....

(we ARE talking about shoe size, right?)

I wondered who else had noticed the mutilated cow link in the box next to the article. A very creepy story, to be sure.

This stuff is happening in your back yard. Be careful out there! BTW, have you ever had to go out to the haunted launch facility at night?

Simply have to shift my mind vision disc to accomodate new data.I also wear a size 12.I was always told that I'd have been quite a lad if I hadn't had so much plowed under.

Punkin - I went looking for that old 'IQ related to shoe size article,' but I couldn't find it anywhere. I guess if I were smarter I'd find it, but I'm only a size 8. :(

Flash, you must be talking about A-05. Yes, I have. It's pretty eerie.

back home for a bit ;-)

Flash, that's the first thing that caught my eye...I'm strange that way...(don't everyone agree at once!)

*waves at blurk*

LTNS!!! all good in the non-smoking-non-killing world???

Siouxie, still goin' strong. Three weeks today.

Yay, blurkie!

GREAT!!! very good indeed!!!

but...are we to believe you had NOTHING to do with that mutilated cow??? hmmm???

Siouxie, actually, I believe the proper forensic term is 'mootilated cow.'

I don't no nuffin bout mootilatin no bovines.

hmm...true true...

*got me some mootilated cow in the form of churrasco ready for my grill tonight*


Congrats, blurk! Way to go!

Annie, this one's for you.

Principal's wedgies
and kids punching teachers
Handguns and bb’s are
Prominent features
Flagrantly disregarding all the rules
These are the folks at the Montana schools

Punkin - I went looking for that old 'IQ related to shoe size article,' but I couldn't find it anywhere. I guess if I were smarter I'd find it, but I'm only a size 8. :(

13 here, Annie.

I think this might be the article (well, chart) Annie was talking about.

But WARNING (maybe) for the sensitive office.

Good one Ducky!!! LIK

and what I meant to type was 'LOL'

slippery fingers ;-)

jeff - only a guy would think that's the chart to which I was referring.

Thanks, Siouxie! LIK, LOL, whatever...you must have been typing too much today!

Go to Google, plug in Montana mutilated cow.Lots of info.

I guess I should have added the *snork*.

wickedwitch - Re: The bra strap/kick to nuts story... You're my new hero... If you have or ever have a kid, make sure you pass on your wisdom..

ok, JD -
Slugging a teacher
You might get in trouble
Cow mootilation
Yuk! Make mine a double.
This will soon stop in the Montana schools,
Only 'cause now that the Dems make da rules.

*ducts tape*

Hey, blurk, hope you're still there. well done, my friend, the toughest part's over.

As for guns in school: When I was in school, everybody had a gun or two in the truck. Never knew when you were gonna spot a coyote. (a favorite shop project was building new grips or a new stock for a pistol or rifle.) In retrospect, a Columbine incident probably couldn't have happened at our school. Everybody had guns, knew how to use them, and weren't intimidated by them.

Wedgies, from staff or otherwise, were just part of Freshman life.

Yes, wwitch! I had a college teacher known for his sleeping around. I was up on a ladder, painting scenery (drama class). He put his hand up my pant leg, touching my calf. Startled, I turned, crushing his hand against the side of the ladder. It was a pleasure to hear every knuckle on his hand crack.

BREAKING WIND ALERT - The new 2007 calendar is here!

I'm afraid to look....


i'll have to order one, that'll be great for my desk.

Siouxie - PSYCHE!

I heard the guy on the front of the calendar wrote a book...

HA! Annie! lol

I heard that too, Ducky. I simply can't remember where I heard that, though. If only I had bigger feet.
At least his calendar is cheaper than this one.


JUST when I started to trust you too!!

*pours eye bleach to blurr vision*

Hi y'all! been a busy week and I haven't even been able to lurk!

Congrats on the three week mark, blurk!! We are all proud of you. And remember- if you start to feel the urge- think "erectile dysfuction". And if you feel the urge to vote for a politician, think "electile dysfunction".

Almost gotcha Siouxie!

((((((ddd)))))))) hi there!!!! my favorite sexiest doc!!

(((((((Siouxie)))))))) Missed a lot this week!

what with pink-butted hamsters and all

it's been crazy for me too...having blogged as much myself.

I've had to be gone too much lately, and don't know how everybody's doin. Has Lisa Bisa been around lately?

(nice to "see" you, DDD.)

I really meant....'haven't'!!!

Wyo, you know how I've been doing ;-)

Lisa was here earlier, I think...

*will be back..gotta start the grill*

Hi Cowboy!! ((((Wyo))))

Siouxie- I'll have a veggie burger with cheese, please. Want me to bring the beer?

Female diverdowndocling says "Hi!" to everyone.

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