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November 10, 2006

EAT YOUR HEART OUT, KEN

You have been replaced by Tanner the pooping dog.

(Thanks to Annie Where-but-here)

UPDATE (thanks to Keith Jordan): It's an investment!

Comments

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First!

First with absolutely nothing to say except..yeesh what next?!

First with absolutely nothing to say except..yeesh what next?!

Oh for crying out loud. Nothing to say so I said it twice.

Wait a minute. They neuter her boyfriend then give her dog bodily function? Wha?

Is the dog programed to not go in the Dream House?

*does the I-got-posted-happy-dance*

I think Ken is collecting taxes in India.

Tanner seems to be a male pet name; and yet, the toy has a pink collar.
I do know what marketing has planned next: tiny yuppy scarves ($6.00 each)to tie around the dog's neck, especially when it's riding in Barbie's 'vette.

No thanks, I already got a dog that poops.

Shouldn't there be little plastic bags in that kit, too - for when Barbie takes Tanner to the dog park?

Another marketing plan: doggie park friends for Tanner. why, there's Skipper - the Heinz 57, Fifi - the standard black ppodle, Spot - the Dalmatian, Scooter - the spaniel mix. Okay, I need to stop this.
*goes to get some serious help*

Great, more dog cr*p on the carpet. Irresponsible pet ownership I tell ya!

(Camptown Races)
barbie's given up on Ken
doo-doo doo-doo
lives in a house with a doggie friend
oh ,de-doo-doo-day

cleaning up its mess
beats a ball-less guy, i guess
when barbie's a cat lady then,
she stay home and knit all the day!

*woofie snork* @ Insom...
btw -this toy comes with a pooper-scooper.

For a moment there, I thought you meant Ken Livingston, London's universally admired Mayor. He's full o'shit, too.

Congrats Annie.This is a multi good one.There's Tanner and the one about the nude teacher stabbing the police car ain't bad either.

So, let's say I'm the dad with dear little Susie, and she's playing pooper-scooper with Tanner.

Daddy, he won't poop anymore, and the bucket is full.

Hm. I have to shove poop back up his butt? Hm again.

Susie, call your mother.

Next they should do a "Crazy Cat Lady Barbie" that comes with 12 to 36 felines of differing colors and sizes. Litter box not included.

Lairbo, should I do r&d on that ides, too?

estgnctrl:

No. Get help first.

*wheels are already spinning out of control*

Any chance Taner comes with a "fireworks" option?

That option would only come with the "Barbie's Bratty Little Brother, Buster" boy-and-his-dog set. Fireworks not included.

If Tanner is anything like a real dog, it would hump Barbie's leg when she came home from work...

I've invested my money wisely....type writer ribbons! I've also got an option on some carbon paper.

jazzzz, what - no 8-tracks???

ssssshhhhhhhhh EC! don't tell everyone!!


I think they think it's going to be a collector's item because no normal people will want it or buy it - therefore the company won't make more of them, and they'll be scarce.

Don't most parents have enough trouble getting the kids to deal with their real pets? I remember as a kid that my brother and I used to argue over whose turn it was to feed the dogs, which is a much nice chore than dealing with the other end, and still we weren't wild about it.

...k, our secret.

"Smart investors" are buying these things? Then what the hell are the stupid ones spending their money on? Dryer lint?

They already made the cat variety...

Meow

And the litter box IS included.

Beanie Babies were an investment too. We all saw how well that worked out.

What a bargain - only slightly more than $32 for both. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

I was thinking more along the lines of Barbie as a shopping bag-toting, wild-haired crone with cats crawling around everywhere, and the "Dream House" being that place in the neighborhood that kids were too creeped out by to trick or treat at. Local dads who'd lived on the block long enough would rememeber that Barbie'd been quite the dish way back when, before Ken left, although there was always something off about that guy... something, I dunno, missing. Then there was that buffed-up Australian surfer dude who was about 30 years younger than her. After he took off in her Corvette, she just kinda went all to hell and started collecting cats.


This does not exactly follow the day's toilet theme, but it's worth bringing up...

My literary contribution:

*ahem*

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Barbie's a twit ho
But her dog can poo

*thank you*

yeah, I know..it's not quite as good as mud or insom or stevie or C-bol or Annie or Punkin or anyone else for that matter...

*signs up for creative blog writing seminar*

I think it was cute.

awww thanks stevie! LOL

I loved it Siouxie. Simple, yet deep. Few poets are so bold as to bare their soul in their work. This is truly inspiring.

I agree Jazzzzie!! LOL

I will now work on my HighCoo ;-)

Siouxie - your poem is charming. I laughed, I cried, I 'Tannered.'You should write a book. Did you know that Dave wrote a book?

Thank you Annie, this means the world to me..coming from you. We literary minds have to stick together. I will consider the book. I'm thinking of writing something semi-biographical...set around Christmas time in Cuba. About a little girl, I'll call her...Sarita, and her crazy antics when she dressed up as an angelita during the Three King's Pageant. There's also camel poop in the story.

Think it'll sell??

P.S. Dave is a writer????

And to think they have it on video.

Siouxie - toss some fruit on Sarita's hat, and ya got yourself a movie on FOX. I'm thinking Dora the Explorah meets the Drummer Boy. Pa-rum pa-pum-pum! IYKWIM.

Lairbo, I like the storyline pitch of how Barbie went to hell in a handbasket. You left out the drugs and heroin that really made her into her cat loving crone on the seedy part of town.

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