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this is utterly amazing that I am first
Posted by: Chaz | November 16, 2006 at 08:57 AM
A hanging cow is heavier than a hanging chad.
Posted by: ron | November 16, 2006 at 09:05 AM
Udderly amazing Chaz
Posted by: ron | November 16, 2006 at 09:07 AM
Good AM all!
This is what happens when guys, who are mechanically-challenged, try to be Mr. Fix-its.
Note to Austrian ski lift operators, please don't contract this guy during the season.
Posted by: estrogen centrale | November 16, 2006 at 09:08 AM
What is wrong with me that I'm feeling way sorrier for the cow than for the farmer?
Posted by: artchick | November 16, 2006 at 09:11 AM
Suspended cows? What kind of freaky bondage is this guy into?
Posted by: Baron VonKlyff | November 16, 2006 at 09:11 AM
artchick-"Bless the beasts and the children..."
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | November 16, 2006 at 09:13 AM
i'm thinking this is a typical guy reaction. so what if lulu has a headache, mr. man wants to cop a feel.
Posted by: crossgirl | November 16, 2006 at 09:15 AM
LBFF i need some blessings for my beastly children.
Posted by: crossgirl | November 16, 2006 at 09:16 AM
*snork*
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | November 16, 2006 at 09:17 AM
I'm agreeing with artchick...poor Lulu and that guy got what he deserved..sheesh...leave the poor cow in peace.
Posted by: Siouxie | November 16, 2006 at 09:41 AM
Something kind of like that happened to me once in a bar in Kilgore.
Posted by: billinbossier | November 16, 2006 at 09:41 AM
Got wheelchair?
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | November 16, 2006 at 09:46 AM
artchick & Sioux, moo too. I mean me moo. Antway, I had the same thought as you both, when I read the item.
Posted by: estrogen centrale | November 16, 2006 at 10:02 AM
Excuse my t. Give me a y somebody quick!!!
Posted by: estrogen centrale | November 16, 2006 at 10:05 AM
Here yyyyyya go.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | November 16, 2006 at 10:07 AM
Bless you, Meanie.
Posted by: estrogen centrale | November 16, 2006 at 10:15 AM
IANADF, but my understanding is that if you fail to milk a milch cow, you'll actually cause her a great deal of pain and suffering.
So let's take it easy on Mr. Dairy Farmer, hmm?
Posted by: Clean Hands | November 16, 2006 at 10:17 AM
what about mensch cows? or mulch cows? or milf cows?
Posted by: crossgirl | November 16, 2006 at 10:26 AM
Okay, I went and asked Mr Artchick, who happens to be the editor of a magazine for the cattle industry, and he says that if the cow was that sick, you could actually milk it while it was laying on its side. Actually, he first said that most farmers would think it was time for the cow to go to the great pasture in the sky, but then he saw my face and went for the lying down option.
Also, I hope the farmer wasn't planning on selling the milk!
Posted by: artchick | November 16, 2006 at 10:28 AM
"Great pasture in the sky" = McDonald's, etc.
Reason #233,291 that I grind my own beef, thankyouverymuch.
Posted by: Clean Hands | November 16, 2006 at 10:36 AM
You know I never worked on a farm, but I've seen pictures of a cow. And I would say it took about 5 seconds for me to think of both Mr. Artchick's options by myself.
Winching the cow up in the air? Now that one never occured to me. But next time, let's hope this guy need to milk his elephant.
Posted by: Edgar Greenberg | November 16, 2006 at 10:36 AM
was he using a winch or a wench?
Posted by: | November 16, 2006 at 10:39 AM
I'll say it if nobody else will: That was a moooving story.
Posted by: ShadowKatmandu | November 16, 2006 at 10:57 AM
no bull!
Posted by: crossgirl | November 16, 2006 at 10:58 AM
Cruel farmer. He should have let her sleep it off on a mattress.
Posted by: Cheryl Howard | November 16, 2006 at 11:06 AM
HOLY COW!!!
Posted by: elsie | November 16, 2006 at 11:16 AM
Is this where cottage cheese comes from?
Sorry.
Posted by: baligurl | November 16, 2006 at 11:24 AM
How unfortunate that Lulu doesn't reside in NY, I imagine that she could benefit from a mattress.
Posted by: abbe | November 16, 2006 at 11:24 AM
Country Mooosic Award runner-up
I'm Lyin' Here in Traction 'cause I Couldn't Milk No Action from You
Children's song: Boom goes the Lulu
c'mon - insom'? mud?
Posted by: MOTW | November 16, 2006 at 12:11 PM
Is anybody crying over ... wait .. for .. it ... spilled milk?
Posted by: MOTW | November 16, 2006 at 12:44 PM
I'm with Mr. Artchick too. If the cow is that sick--do you really want the milk???
Yuck!
Posted by: shellks | November 16, 2006 at 12:52 PM
shellks - I suppose it isn't really a matter of wanting the milk as much as it is keeping the milking schedule so her udder won't burst.
Posted by: MOTW | November 16, 2006 at 12:56 PM
This is udderly appalling
Posted by: nannie | November 16, 2006 at 02:32 PM
We once had a cow that refused to be milked. She'd kick at anyone who tried. So I rigged this ingenious invention - a rope tied to her hind leg and run thru a hook on the wall. My brother held the end of the rope snug while I attempted to milk her. The next time she kicked at me, my brother was airborn. He broke the barn wall with his head.
It was cool!
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | November 16, 2006 at 02:40 PM
I take it this was your little brother, AWBH? (I cannot much imagine an elder brother getting roped [har, har] into such a scheme.)
Posted by: Clean Hands | November 16, 2006 at 03:11 PM
Early front runner for the coveted Darwin Award.
Posted by: Cheesewiz | November 16, 2006 at 04:51 PM
I was waiting to defer to Wyo, but I'm thinkin' that cows HAVE to be milked or risk serious problems. 'Course he could've just let her lie on her side. That's how I handle the missus.
Posted by: Layzeeboy | November 16, 2006 at 05:46 PM
the first sentence of the story was enough for a "snork" !!!!
Posted by: OkieDokie | November 16, 2006 at 06:43 PM
Trying to milk a cow that's too sick to stand up? I think it was "instant cow-ma" that got this guy.
Posted by: Just Rewards | November 16, 2006 at 09:02 PM