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November 16, 2006

CALL YOUR TRAVEL AGENT NOW

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OMG!!! That's just too much... Got to book ticket to Bangkok now!

That second toilet looks interesting, to say the least - and isn't that the Cottonelle puppy in that first shot? With, it looks like, a Lego toilet? And first, BTW...

Drat - too late to even say "Number Two!"

The Coto exhibit (pic 3) is all set up for playing cards.

isnt it hard to go with that big bubble thing in the bowl?....be splashng out and all....

Ah the toilet as a dinner seat,How very convenient.

What kind of contraption is that fourth picture? I see a toilet seat, but that is all that is recognizable. What else does it do? Polish your sphincter? And what is the vacuum attachment for????

remote-control flushing -for the busy man on the go...

Why the heck would you need remote flushing capabilities?? Or perhaps I don't want to know..

Why is the dog in the first picture lifting his leg on the toilet? Either get him a fire hydrant or teach him to sit down, sheesh!

Also, I don't think I want to go to a dinner party where you sit on the toilet while you're still at the table.

WTF?????

I was, unfortunately, not in time to submit my marriage-saving toilet invention for this expo. It's the new Gender Defender™ model featuring patented sensor technology that automatically places the seat in the correct position for males and females.

Watch for it this holiday season!

*Off topic comment*

I spent time very carefully choosing which thread to post this on. As a testament to just how deranged we really are, this one is the safest.

First of all, thanks to all those concerned bloglits who emailed me with helpful suggestions to my shopping dilemma. I won't mention any names but a couple of initials are Wyo, Siouxie, and Annie. I WILL hunt you down send thank you cards later.

Last evening, for the first time in my life, I had absolutely zero desire to go into Victoria's Secret. And, yes, blurkette tried. Not happenin'in this lifetime. Dad's suggestions of Walmart, Target, Shopko, or KMart met with the "you're the stupidest father on the planet" reactions. Compromise...we went to Herberger's and JC Penney. Did you all know that they actually sell bras with so much padding they can and do turn a 34A into a 36D. I now this because my little darling tried one on. Again, not in this lifetime.
The shopping was filled with much arguing, pouting, stomping of feet, etc. until blurkette told me to quit because I was embarassing her.
Anyway, we settled on a nice little white model with a small amount of padding (went from 34A to about 34A 1/4) with a safe and sturdy front clasp that had better never be touched by teenage male hands.
There was also a sporting goods store right nearby so it made it handy to make a quick stop for a couple boxes of 00 Buckshot.
Oh, and that little ordeal was the closest I've come to wanting to chain smoke again. Possibly 3 or 4 at a time. Laced with heroin.
But I resisted.
Again, I thank everyone for your concern.

*end extremely painful for me but funny for all other bloglits post*

Well done blurk, well done.

When you gonna let her start wearing thongs?

BOT: Is Bangkok what happens when the toilet seat falls down as a man is taking a whiz?

casey, right after I finish buildin' that snowman.

In hell.

uh..HI BLURK!!!

I dunno what yer talking about ;-)

(guess CJ won the bet)

although I did guess on YOUR choice of bra!

good to know you survived though.

Hi Blurk! What, you didn't buy the traning bra-chastity belt combo?

I wondered about the smoking Blurk,but other than that I was good.I did try to send info about a 38 hh at $124.99 but couldn't

So when are we going to discuss the real toilet issues, such as

  • low-flow toilets that you have to flush two or three times to get the job done?
  • so-called "handicapped accessible" toilets that don't get the user's intestines in the right shape to go properly?
  • illegal immigrants getting refunds for purchasing low-flow toilets?
  • automatic flush units that flush when you reach for the toilet paper?

who is this phantom bloglit????

blurk, I knew you would prevail. Proud of you.

Of course, you do realize that this little white ditty will only be worn until she gets her hands on the Visa...

Good man, blurk.

As the father of four girls myself, and host dad to almost a dozen teenaged girls over the years, I've come to the conclusion that the best policy is to relax and trust that you've raised them right, that you've made your expectations clear.

And if they do something so stupid that it makes your eyes cross just to think about it, you still love them boundlessly.

As for underwear, my policy is simple: the less I know about it, the better. Once they graduate from Pretty Princess Unicorn or whatever, it's their own business; I just don't want to see it. :-)

Clean Hands, I am in awe of you. I occasionally need CPR to deal with the rigors of raising ONE daughter but FOUR?! FOUR?!
I don't know how you do it, my man.
Do you have a large S on your chest or sumpthin'?

"And if they do something so stupid that it makes your eyes cross just to think about it, you still love them boundlessly."

sniff~ unfunny comment warning: ch, could you give my kid's dad some parenting classes? middle son has been asked to leave his magnet school for general rowdiness, inattentiveness and a little 10 year old male lack of interest in learning. his father's reaction. call him names, curse at him, and then tell him he wants nothing more to do with him. ever. i hate him. /venting, rant, unfunniness.


It is good to see a convention so flushed with success....

damn, crossgirl...what a jerk!

my own ex is a pretty awesome dad and is very involved in my girls' lives (except the bra/tampon/birth control pill buying, of course).

I'm sure you compensate for the ex-@sshole by being a wonderful Mom!

actually siouxie, i'm a great DAD!

blurk, it's easy for me to talk right now -- I have two still in diapers and one still wearing the Pretty Princess Unicorns. The eldest is off at college, living with her boyfriend. (Sometimes, she makes my eyes cross...)

cg, I'm so sorry to hear that. I guess the only thing you can do in that situation is just be there for your boy. I'm a bit of a radical when it comes to education - I believe that kids learn best when they're permitted to follow their own interests, without having a curriculum shoved down their throats.

For a 10-year-old boy to be rowdy is, of course, without precedent in the history of the world, and his father was doubtless a saintly choir boy at that age. /sarcasm

I can tell you from my own experience that the times when I was the most unreasonable with my eldest were those times when she was pulling stupid sh!t that reminded me of my own mistakes at the same age. I was not very good at explaining to her why I thought what she was doing was dumb, because I assumed that she was psychic and could benefit from my experience without explanation.

even better! good for you ;-)

crossgirl, I wish I could offer advice but quite frankly I'm stunned. What kind of super @sshole talks to his child like that?!
I obviously don't know him, or you for that matter, from Adam but that description makes me want to slap the sh!t out of him.
That seriously pisses me off. I better go get some coffee or sumpthin'.

he needs to be nominated for loser-dad of the millenium along with K-dud!

thanks ya'll. there is a reason i'm divorced!

((((((((crossgirl))))))

((((Crossgirl))))
(((((Sons of Crossgirl))))

crossgirl, not making light, but it looks like you booted your personal k-fed way fast, and good for you. My Mom was a GREAT Mom and Dad, and you are too. Your kids already know that, and when they finally say it out loud, you'll be SO FULL you'll never think of whatshisname again.

Just tell your son that his dad's jealous because the boy got your brains instead of his. :-D

*aims blurk's shotgun*

**KAPLOWIE** [[[[ex-@sshole-loser-not-fit-to-be-a-parent]]]]]]

Now, blurk, I have a 15 and 17 yr old daughters, and we went thru about the same thing, location-wise. I told'em if I'm employed and bought my underwear at Penney's, that'd be a dream come true for the unemployed such as themselves. Then I parked at the Dollar Store til I liked what they were saying.

*hands Siouxie more ammo* Shoot him again!

bali if *I* buy my underwear at Target™ ...they can too! When I do splurge and go to VS I remind them that they can work to pay for a $30 bra. That usually keeps them grounded - besides...they do have cute stuff at Target™!

*aims*

PULL!!!!

*shoots*

((group hug))
i love you guys!

siouxie you're one step behind me. i wasn't planning on waiting for delivery from, where is it blurk's at, montana?

baligurl, I wish I'd thought of that. I like the "unemployed" line. I'm gonna save that one and use it later. I'll give you full creative credit, of course.


*makes trip down to armory to find new weapons to try on cg's ex*

then I got yer back, crossgirl...in case you miss a spot *EG*

D'ya think he'd fit into the bore of one of those naval guns, cg? I saw one of those once that would lob a shell the size of a volkswagon some twenty-thirty miles... that oughta be far enough to get his attention, no?

"Watch that first step, honey - it's a doozy!"

blurk, this works, too: When the little darlin's complain about housework, dishes, etc, I explain that I don't do that because I'm Skilled Labor, and they are Unskilled. If they don't want a lifetime of menial jobs, get a marketable skill. Meanwhile, I'm too valuable a resource to be doing dishes when I'm the one making money. I'm not sure what they're muttering as they wander off...

1: Caption for picture 2 "The two-day event is intended to promote the idea of sanitation as a way to improve public health...." Hasn't this idea already been pretty well proven like, oh, a bazillion years ago? Oh, I guess it's just a sales event.

2: "...they can work to pay for a $30 bra. Um, Siouxie, careful - you don't want 'em to be working girls, yet.

Hugs for all parents and their kids, everywhere. We're all in this together.

not that kinda working girl Scott!!!

bali, i use a similar line only i'm explaining to them all the valuable job skills that i'm providing free training in. so far they can have careers in landscaping, housekeeping and in any kitchen. i constantly remind them that if they don't like these particular jobs, they may want to stay in school.

ch, he IS a bore and smaller than a volkswagen so i think that's an ideal solution!

Not only that, but the bras for that line of work cost more than $30, I think.

Or they're optional - I haven't checked the Code of Conduct lately.

i buy my underwear at k-mart....yeah...definitely, k-mart....

*snork* at rainman

((crossgirl)) Thank God your son has you.

thank you, nannie. this is a boy that any normal man would be damned proud to have for a son. he is very smart, everything comes easy for him, he's outgoing and popular, respectful and polite and helpful, (except to brand new teachers apparantly)and has been the darling of every sports team he's joined. and i'm not just saying this because he's mine. did i mention he's handsome?!

Brand new teachers can be an arse sometimes. My son had one once and they didn't mix. She said he questioned her authority. Upon questioning her it turned out to be things like, "don't stand by that door". I looked at the door and asked her why she didn't want him to stand by the door. She replied that he might get hit if someone opened it. I asked her if she explained that to him. No. I then explained to her that we were raising our children to always question authority. Not all grownups have the childrens best interest in mind. If she had his best interest in mind, then it was up to her to display that to him and to not expect him to blindly follow her direction.

*steps gingerly off soapbox*

Bravo, C! Perhaps were were separated at birth? :D

CH, I think so maybe. I mean we have the same initials afterall ;-)

you must have been...same initials.

crossgirl, I've got a 6-year-old who brought home a "needs improvement" on his report card for the "respecting authority" category . . . and ironically, it's a first-year teacher, too (evidently he interrupts her). Fortunately, he has two teachers, and evidently respects the other one adequately. Not that we're not working on the issue - but first-time teachers usually need some seasoning before they can deal with the exuberant ones. I'll pray for you!

blurk - good job on the big shopping trip! My daughter's not even in the "Pretty Princess" undies yet, but I've resolved to enjoy the whole ride - even the scary bits. (And the frustrating bits, and the freaky bits . . .)

Like I said yesterday, my initial doppleganger. :-)

Re: Baligirl's 11:55 a.m. post -

I am so using that the next time my 15 year old says, "And what do YOU do around the house?" As if asking her to clean the kitchen every weekday is such a huge job.

And then she has the gall to turn around and gripe about her friends being so spoiled and saying that she's glad she's been raised better. *throws up hands* Whatever.

blt, i've never had one of mine bring home a "needs improvement", but the little one did get an S- last year. cracked us all up! surely a school first. his current teacher at the new old school is a teacher of the year and has been in the profession for quite some time. she went to school with me and also married and divorced a deputy. i think she'll be up to the task. *knocks wood*

for anyone following the trials and tribs of my middle son.....i didn't knock wood fast enough. the aforementioned competent seasoned teacher announced to the class the afternoon that she her last day is tomorrow. my boy called in tears. poor kid can't keep a teacher for nothing. sigh.

hmmm looks like i needed more time in grammar class, or at least typing.

should read announced to the class THIS afternoon that her last day is tomorrow. strike out that superflous "she".

LTTG comment on original post

Key Quote
"The event's sponsor, the World Toilet Organisation, describes the event as a 'stimulating platform for networking'."

Uh .. erm .. thassa kinda stimulation I don't want in public, you know?

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