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November 16, 2006

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

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He is such a tender loving person. I hoped he didn't mash something (you know likd a finger or something) in the shower stall door.

Ah, the romance.

You stay classy, K-Fed...

i thought HOB cancelled all his shows. how disappointing.

Where's Hannibal Lecter when you need him?

"*In case there are any doubts about its authenticity, we have an actual signed Kevin Federline poster hanging up in Us Online HQ (as part of our K-Fed altar where we burn Marlboro incense and leave offerings of 'beaters and illegitimate children), and the signatures match up."

Now thats just great writing.

He's a total class act! Ladies beware!

He's right up there with OJ and his new "pretend (even though I killed my wife) book"!!!

*prays Fed-X does't move to Miami* We already have one unwanted scumbag here...

So, he's available, huh?

*despite built-in giant inflatable devices, Punkin sinks to new low*

ok..technically we may have more than ONE unwanted scumbag in Miami..we just don't need MORE.

They're inflatable?! O.o

Available for what, though? Methinks he would look well in a beanie, cranking an organ.

Punkin, I'm gonna miss ya here this weekend! I tried to win the Fl lotto last night and promised I'd fly everyone down here for the Pink Party but alas...I did not win.

oOp - I just realized how wrong that sounded. Actually, I guess it fits either way you read it.

Yay! Someone told the robot to sit, stay!

Sioux, I didn't win either. Rats! Yeah, I agree w/you about the Juice. Everytime I drive by his house, must admit it creeps me out a little.

Meanie, you ARE mean. Imagine how sick poor Hannibal would get!

Siouxie - I, too, have been totally wasting my money on Powerball tickets doing financial planning to no avail.

Please think of me....*sob*


Oh and DTR, I meant "flotation devices"....was so overcome by FedEx, I mistyped.

*throws a hyphen to Punkin*

LOL CH - I must be in need of coffee...I didn't get the 'crank the organ' reference till you just mentioned it...

*would LOVE for Fed-X to marry Lorena (Bobbitt) next*

buh bye organ

Sioux, even Lorena wouldn't go near where that's been...

It says "LADLES look out"...what do you think that means? Soup kitchen?

no soup for him!!!

no soup for him!!!

uh...please ignore the duplicate posting...

thank you

I think he's already in the soup...

*Snork at punkin, just giving ya a hard time. ^.^

How'd you like to be the judge who has to decide who is going to be a better parent?

What's the point of leaving letters out in the copy (b-tch) when you run the picture with the handwritten word right next to it? Just askin'.

I think that a Solomon decision might be the most humane.

Otherwise, twenty years from now we're going to be listening to these two kids trying to rap.

prose stylist? 'scuse me? was his scribbled note prose styling. must be not enough coffee, 'cause i just see a note written in a juvenile snit. i didn't know that was considered enough to classify the little snot-nosed prick a 'prose stylist'. sorry, my mistake.

Brian, I still insist that adopting out to Brangelina or Madonna aould even be better...

I would like to put in my request right now for the chance to spend 5 minutes in a locked room with this...um...guy to dispense some parenting advice.

On what: how to buy a bra???? Hmmmmm...

Mornin' blurk *smiling innocent-like*

gonna tell him what type of bra to get his female spawn-child??

*ducks flying buckshot*

^5 ec!!

great minds and all!!

pssst...careful..he's armed!!

In a locked room, blurk? I'd think you could probably dispense all needed advice at as far as 100 yards or more, depending on the windage.

Well, somebody's gonna have to help that child when its bra-buying time, because I don't think Britney has any experience in that area.

For the bloglits who would like to read about the beginning of my slow and painful death my shopping experience, skip over to the travel agent thread.

Wow, CH, you can neuter someone from 100 yards away?

artchick - the kids with Twitney are of the male gender-type (they'll most likely be purchasing wife-beaters)

He's got an little girl I believe with his former baby momma.

Wait a minute. They have 2 boys, don't they. Okay, so this is not an issue for them...

ec - we are on a mind-meld roll here...

scary huh??

blurk, I am still laughing my ass off feel for you my friend ;-)

Geez, with all the press Mr Leaky Sperm Doner has gotten lately, you'd think I'd know which were the illegitimate ones.

I'm pretty sure that blurk could. I hear he's been practicing... and he's got his scope dialed in.

Just been casted off, a husband tossed asea, oh
Another lonely day, with no one here but me, oh
More boneheadedness than any wife could bear
Rescue me before I fall into despair, oh

I'll be an s.o.b. to the girl
I'll be an s.o.b. to the girl
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Message on the shower, yeah
Message on the shower, yeah

A day has passed since I wrote my note
But I should have known this right from the start
Only blackmail can keep me together
Freeloadin' can mend your life but
I was off the charts
I'll be an s.o.b. to the girl
I'll be an s.o.b. to the girl
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Message in the shower, yeah
Message in the shower, yeah
Message in the shower, yeah
Message in the shower, yeah

Walked out this morning, don't believe what I saw
Hundred billion bloglits giving me what's for
Seems I'm number one at being at being a fool
Hundred billion bloglits, want me out of the gene pool
I'll be an s.o.b. to the girl
I'll be an s.o.b. to the girl
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Message in the shower, yeah
Message in the shower, yeah
Message in the shower, yeah
Message in the shower, yeah
Casting out at an s.o.b.
Casting out at an s.o.b.
Casting out at an s.o.b.
Casting out at an s.o.b.
Casting out at an s.o.b.
Casting out at an s.o.b.
Casting out at an s.o.b.....

Sioux, bizarro!

blurk, I hope you noticed that I did not contribute. Will admit to a bit of coaxing them into it, but I was a good girl. Also did way too much laughing about it.

Excellent Meanie!!

*SNORK*

off topic

Does anyone else hate this Vill Magna ad as much as I do? Darned thing gets past my pop-up deletion :-[

ec, I just keep refreshing the page until the Miami Bikini Girl shows up again. Ahhhh.... :-)

acck...I hate it too ec!

what villa magna ad? what bikini girl?

Bikini girl.

cg - the stupidly annoying ad that appears randomly on this pages. you get within a foot of the ad and this pop-up scrolls down.

I think the Solomon decision in this case would be to cut Fed-Ex in half & give one portion to each child in it's own laminated memorabilia-style case... .
Just a thought.

Ooo! I like the way you're thinking, jon! Can we do the same with Twitney? I'm thinking that both parents would be more useful to their kids that way than any other.

CH, bikini girl is inoffensive. She just lies there, getting her tan. Whereas, the Villa Magna is an interrupt scroll freak, that also impedes my typing!!!!

Off to do some work testing. Bye for now.

*So, he's available, huh?*

Punkin, that's the funniest thing I've read all day! Wish I'd thought of it! (worships at your feet...ooooh, an oreo!)

Bikini girl is far better than inoffensive, ec. :-)

Villa Magna, meh. Move the mouse off of the ad, and it dissolves into dust. :-D

bali - I'll fight you for him! Loser gets him.

Girls, girls, no need to fight over him.

*sneeeee*

*swish*

Problem solved.

Would K-Fed be good juror for this case?

I dunno, Punkin, I'll have to buy a trailer house on blocks and learn to smoke...can you take the first shift?

Busted link, xmnr... :-(

I'm going to guess "no," though, since most judges frown on the use of crayon to doodle during testimony.

Sure - I've got nuthin' to lose....MY sex video is already on the web!

*blackens front tooth and buys new wardrobe from Goodwill so she'll fit in*

Here are some pointers. Note that the car must be on blocks; the mobile home may rest on other materials, as available.

Punkin, don't forget those lovely bra-straps. They need to be conspicously showing - draped over your 'Jesus holding a beer can' tattoo!

God, I love that site -- I discovered it probably eight years ago or more, before Bukk's even started sponsoring it.

Gone now, sadly, is the letters page. My favorite was the letter from an indignant mobile home owner, saying that not all mobile home residents drive transcamaros; he owned a Lexus. The fellow who put the site together wrote back, "Really? Please send pictures - I've never seen a Lexus on blocks before!"

CH,
I'm having me one of them mobile ,wood burning,forced hot air heating systems.

*SNORK* CH!! that site is too funny!

Woo-hoo! The Wayback machine to the rescue! The letters are better than the site itself!! :-D

i am sorry to say that the homes on that site are pretty close to, if not the actual homes, that are in my neighborhood. i live in one of those unzoned areas where you can have a million dollar home next to a 1955 single wide. at least till the next hurricane.

Clean, those particular arcitectural designs aren't confined to Mississippi. That is another shining example of why I left West Virginia. Now, before all you Mountaineers get yer panties in a bunch let me say that I dearly love my home state. I go back to visit every chance I get. But if you wanna try to say those pictures couldn't have come from any or all of our 55 wonderful counties you should tell someone who doesn't know any better.

*snork* @ the "Slow Children" sign LOL

xmnr - YIKES! “you really go down a slippery slope with absurd results”

Pretty much says it all.

speaking of mobile homes and all, my roof blew off last nite! Not that it is a mobile home roof, just a regular house type roof, but I'm pretty pissed that the mobile homes around me are unscathed after the massively destructive storm last nite and I am sans roof!

I blame global warming, of course.

OK, back to the roof w/hammer and roofing nails....

xmnr, the link works now. I'm pretty sure that's not a good thing.

This guy seems like someone I'd NOT want for a neighbor - did you read the last paragraph???

Yechhh. Guy probably drives a transcamaro.

casey - CH's site says that spare tires (the rubber kind) are handy to keep your roof on. But sorry about the roof. I once watched the second floor of our barn disappear - not fun. ;(

Sorry to hear that, casey. You sound like you need a beer... :-)

maybe if you parked a transcamaro on the roof...

sorry about it though ;(

If you've got a transcamaro on the roof, chances are that somebody downrange is looking for a new roof.

If you give casey a beer, chances are then he'll want you to bring him a sandwich.

Security: Mr. Federline, management would like you to tear up the room, so we can get some pub. Here's a Sharpie. Maybe you can write down what you've been thinking about lately.

K-Fed: Shower door OK?

Security: Yeah. If you could get a "F--k a wife" in there, it would be dope.

K-Fed: Yeah, great line. Much better than "Why? Because we like you!"

Momma must be proud

...and if you bring casey a sandwich, he'll probably ask you to help him with his roof.

HA! thanks for the giggles all! BTW, I'm a chick....but I could still use a sammich and some help! Couple of those beers sounds good too!

I am so ashamed - I made the assumption that you were a guy because you were fixing your own roof...with a beer. And I've fixed our roof myself...with beer. Shame on me!

*starts rebuilding roof on dawghouse*

*joins Annie rebuilding dawghouse roof*
*And is v. v. red faced*
Has also reroofed house, with a beer in hand (No one tell OSHA)

I should point out that I am also a chick, just in case there are ever any doubts.

AWBH, if it makes you feel better, I do have a man helping. Well, I guess you could say I am helping him. You know, fetchin this, fetchin that, etc.

*I* was never confuzzled as to your gender, though I'm happy to hear that you're fetching, as well. ;-)

**hunKY** NOT hunGy although they technically could have been.

whoaaa...how did my first post fall behind my second one???

ok...read that backwards then! sheesh..stoopid typepad bot!!!

rut roh! here we go again...

Security! this blog is broke!

i LOVE roofer boots! i've never had to reroof my house with or without beer but i've found it helps when hanging the christmas lights. cheers!

*amazed watching Siouxie correct her typos before they happen*

Just to avoid any confusion, now or in the future...I am not a chick.

Siouxie will be a chick at 3:01 PM.

testing...

Annie, I'm just call me Claire A. Voyeur.

blurk - I sure hope so..just to make sure...I'll be sure to check.

Cheryl, did ya pass?

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