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November 20, 2006


There is no 24 tonight. Seriously, you need a life.


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You mean we actually have to talk with one another?

I've still got Monday Night Football

and beer

is it too late to ask what 24's about?

Fortunately, there's "Heroes"!

The following takes place between 9 p.m. and 10 p.m.:

STEVE: Hi honey!

MRS. STEVE: Aaaaah!!!

STEVE: What's the matter?

MRS. STEVE: Who are you and what are you doing here?

STEVE: It's me, Steve, your husband!

MRS. STEVE: You impostor! I haven't seen my husband on a Monday night after 9 p.m. in five years. (shoots him in the thigh) WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?!

STEVE: (in obvious pain) OK, OK, I'm a member of a vast international conspiracy designed to keep people in a state of suspended mental animation each Monday night between 9 and 10 while men wearing Bluetooth wireless devices electronically empty their bank accounts.

(Curtis enters)

MRS. STEVE: Curtis, give this man a caffeine injection and send him back to the TiVo. We're going to flip him.

CURTIS: Flip him?

MRS. STEVE: Yes. For the next few weeks we'll get him to plant subliminal suggestions to clean the house, take out the garbage, paint the garage, and shop for jewelry.

(Curtis drags Steve away. Phone rings. Mrs. Steve picks it up.)


VOICE: Is everything going according to plan?

MRS. STEVE: Of course.

VOICE: Excellent.

(Camera pulls back to reveal unknown voice belongs to... AUDREY!)


Time's up!

Audrey ... wuzn't that the name of the meat-eatin' plant in Little Shop of Horrors?

Merely ... wonderin' ...

Hey ya'll! did you hear that Dave may have written a book??

Maybe we can read it instead of watching 24...Live Blog Reading.

No. The plant's name was Audrey II. Audrey was the dentist's girlfriend. I think.

OK ... that sounds ... possibly familiar ...

The dentist was holdin' Nemo as a captive in his fish bowl, as I recall.

I wanna know what happened to "Vanished."

I promise, this has absolutely nothing to do with 24, Audrey, Jack, thigh-shooting, Steve, or any major plot characters who happen to still be dead.

I just wanted to comment that I couldn't help but notice that the current rerun article by Dave that is available is amazingly referencing the Dora "toy" product blogged about earlier today.

The article appeared way back in the last millennium.

The Dora "toy" announcement appeared today.

How did Dave do that?! Is Dave secretly SuperDave?

Whoa! Makes the head spin. I'm going to go lie down for a bit.

But not before I glue my turkey rectum shut.

Mike: Classic. :)

Siouxie: Can Dave live-blog while he reads the book to us? That'd be much easier...

Andy, that would work ;-)

Like Daddy Blog reading to all us baby blogerinos before we go to bed...

Good morning, y'all. Just got back from California where I was spending time with my brother and his family. Watched my boys dispatch the "Wolverines" from Michigan (what is a 'wolverine' anyway, some kind of squirrel?). Drank some wine. Visited an art gallery. Saw a play. Drank more wine. Ate something called "dim sum". I notice that over the long weekend that I missed a snake post. Don't care. Regard this as a real sign of maturity. Good to be back. On the blog. Not the office.

Welcome, mud! Glad you had fun.

Mornin' all!

Have a "Parent/Teacher" conference at 9 for my 4 1/2 yr old granddaughter (I have partial custody). REALLY wondering what "issues" the teacher will bring up. Perhaps my baby is not reaching her potential in macaroni art. I may have to take away Dora priviledges.

Will give y'all the report when we get back!

(save me a muffin)

Yeah, I missed Heroes this week... well, not technically since it's Tivo'd. Gotta go.....

Oh, Punkin. Don't worry. There are tutorial glue and macaroni design clases, and it _probably_ won't keep her out of a good college. I mean, if you take care of the problem quickly... you _know_ how important preschool is (*snork*) Perhaps if you hire a docent from the MOMA to tutor her or something.

mud' - a wolverine is a bit more than a (large) squirrel ... meanness incarnate, nastiness on steroids, makes a "dog in the manger" look like the Easter Bunny ... cousin to stoats (ermine/weasel), skunks ... um ... I'm fergittin' some others here ... animal found livin' in the area once thot of as "the north woods" -- hence, Michigan, et cetera ...

Good to note your increased "maturity" ...

Punkin' -- why does the teacher have Dora privileges?

a wolverine is a mutant with claws that pop out of his hands. DUH

nah...the Wolverines are a bunch of American freedom-fighters in Colorado resisting the Cubans, Russians, et al. Now.... what the hell is a buckeye?

Wolverine = Hugh "HUNK" Jackman

Mud, welcome back!

Punkin, careful now...if baby poo doesn't master mac art, she is destined to a lifetime of crime...that or really bad cooking skills.

Mike: ha! :-)

I have to ask....what is this "24" you speak of?

Phil: No-one knows for sure, but judging from the sideline mascot, a 'buckeye' is a slender man named "Brutus" (NTTAWWT) with a large brown marshmallow for a head. I have noticed that when he gets excited, he punches himself in the face, so I think that he may be a little "unbalanced".

What's a Buckeye?

Something to eat.

Hahahaha 12-0 eat me.

That's alright, i'm still 3 seasons behind anyway.

stevie w, "Vanished" did.

Seriously, I miss that fat guy. CTU will never be the same again.

Dave, what are you buying me for Christmas?

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