WHY WE LOVE THE ONION

Disturbing reports from the overpriced space Roomba.

Comments

[Clean Hands]

Awwww... poor little thing.

[baligurl]

Who didn't see this coming?

[Clean Hands]

Gotta say, though, they're sending Opportunity out onto sort of a Red Shirt mission, IYKWIM.

[AmerinPars]

I've been forwarding this link to people all day. I LOVE it -- especially the SURPRISE STILL NO MARTIANS photo.

[blurk]

Could someone please explain for those of us in the firewall rich environment?

[muffles]

"Despite these malfunctions, mission leaders remain optimistic that the rover will eventually return to full working order.

They are also optomistic that they will go on a date with a real live female in the near future.

[AmerinPars]

It's an Onion article about Spirit, the "robot geologist" on Mars going a bit bonkers from too much time on Mars and the Martian winter. She keeps sending back messages like "Still No Water" and thinks another rover has found water but isn't telling anyone. And there's a photo of Mission control with a message from Spirit that says SURPRISE STILL NO MARTIANS.

What do you want to be that all the folks at Nasa have printed this out and put in on their doors, cublicle walls, etc.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

AnP - Yes, they did. But then Prof. James South ripped it all down while muttering something about NASA not being a Free Speach Zone.

[AmerinPars]

OOOOOO, nice one Dread Pirate!

[evil nannie]

....Dave.....?
....Dave.....?
What are you doing, Dave?

[muffles]

*scared for Dave*

Bad nannie! Bad! Leave Dave alone!

[kittypaws]

SNORK at DPC. :)

I just get the vision of Marvin from "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy".

[Baron VonKlyff]

Spirit looks like it could give Marvin the Paranoid Android a run for his money.

"Brain the size of a planet, and you want me to take pictures of rocks!!!"

[Chaz]

....Dave.....?
....Dave.....?
What are you doing, Dave?

Posted by: evil nannie | 01:15 PM on October 24, 2006

EXACTLY

either that or "all work and no play make Jack a very dull boy"

[Punkin Poo]

Latest message from Spirit:

"I vacuum ALL DAY and this place is STILL dusty!"

[Meanie the Blue]

I think someone's been messing with her.

[nannie]

Not OUR Dave, muffles! I honor him with Cheetos (TM thingy) and malt beverages!
(The "evil" was left over from a prior post when I was incognito.)

[ubethca]

"I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid."

[ubetcha]

Looks like my mind is going as well.

*Snork* @ Meanie

[Punkin Poo]

ubetcha - Could we stick to the TOPIC, please?

[Punkin Poo]

(That was funnier when I thought it would end up right under your first post, ubetcha)

[Cheryl Howard]

NASA for all its failures manages to give a robot a wicked sense of humour? (likely accidentlally) I'm loving this story. Oh, and I want one of these!

[muffles]

oh yeah, and *SNORK* at Spirit. When she's done on Mars, can I have her?

[ubetcha]

I love it too, Cheryl. It's so Hal-ish.

[Baron VonKlyff]

The section: Spirit has been operating independently for over 990 Martian sols—nearly the equivalent of three Earth years. However, scientists estimate that, in recent weeks, Spirit has been functioning on the level of a rover who has been on Mars for approximately 6,160 sols. reminds me of The Jerk

"I know we've only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

I have no idea why they are reporting that there are NO Matians.

[nannie]

Well done, Baron VonKlyff. Anyone want to go to the movies with me?

[Baron VonKlyff]

For some reason typePad won't linky my linky, so here is the manual linky:

http://tinyurl.com/y8n65l

[Punkin Poo]

Baron - You sound like a bad Japanese prostitute -
"You wanna linky my linky?"

[blurk]

*completely off topic (but since blogging is slow today whatthehell?)*

I quit smoking today and haven't killed a single person.

Yet.

On a side note, anyone know how to keep this damn patch lit?

[Baron VonKlyff]

Thanks, Punkin. I have always aspired to emulate bad Japanese prostitutes. GGGGFFDDF

[ubetcha]

Good luck blurk. I tried the patch and IT almost made me kill people. Too much nicotine, even when I cut it in half.

Or at least that's the excuse I used at the time.

[Wyo Cowboy]

whatever you do, blurk, don't give up beer in the same week.

[baligurl]

Well, appropos of nothing, a local church just delivered beans and cornbread to my entire office staff. I may not be here much longer. *goes off to eat ammo for self-dense purposes only*

[blurk]

Wyo, whaddya think I'm completely nuts?

Wait...don't answer that.

[Baron VonKlyff]

Do they have a patch for Beer, too?

[nannie]

Good luck, blurk! If you can stand to talk about it, keep us posted. All my admiration are belong to blurk.

[baligurl]

The beer patch is just a Bud label stuck to your forehead.

[Chaz]

Blurk I quit too...for the most part...a few weeks ago.

keep me out of a bar and I will quit forever.

[ron]

The barley patch is for beer.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

You don't need a beer patch.
You never really own beer; you just rent it.

{name that sitcom}

[Jollymon]

I wonder if Dave might inadvertantly be sending these messages to NASA on his "broken message thingy".

Nah. Too simple an explanation.

[Charlotte]

Blurk & Chaz, I quit smoking in December. I didn't kill anyone, not that I didn't want to, but I did put on the 30 lbs that I lost before I quit smoking. Beware the refridgerator, it's evil...

[Layzeeboy]

blurk, don't worry. I'm picking up your slack. Newport Lights OK?

*serious note - good luck*

[blurk]

Thanks for the good wishes everyone. Eight hours and still no homicides.

[ubetcha]

DPC - sounds like something Norm would have said on Cheers?

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Nope. Drew Carey. Sorry.

[MareBear]

Blurk-
Good luck. Whatever you do, don't try the welbutrin (or however you spell it). You thought the lack of cigs made you nuts? I've had two friends attempt suicide while on that to "help" with the urges. Think I'd rather smoke. Just sayin'.
And good for you for trying this.

((((BLURK)))) (because you deserve it) (no, that doesn't make you fem) (NTTAWWT)

[nannie]

MareBear, I tried Welbutrin. First week , cigs tasted awful & I thought I had it made. Second wk, I got used to the taste or sumpin and just kept smoking'. NO bad thoughts though! Yikes!

[blurk]

Thanks for the hug, MareBear. Yep, on Welbutrin along with the patch. So far I haven't wanted to kill anyone...well...no more than normal.
As for the suicide thing...I like me waaaayyyyy too much.

[Curious John]

Late to the quote game, but I believe it actually was Archie in "All in The Family"

(just geezin' along)

[Cheryl Howard]

Blurk,
All my best karma wishes your direction. (And to anyone else who kicked the habit) I quit 7 years ago, using patches, gum and everything else I could think of. Oh, and I had to give up wine for like a couple of weeks because if you gave me a glass of wine, I'd want a cigarette to go with it.

[PirateBoy]

Blurk - Best of luck, you can do it!

I know this sounds silly, but I've read in a few books that if you want to quit a habit, there is an easy way. It just sounds so "out there" that even I doubted it. But it worked on my "Dorito Fix".

Close your eyes, then rapidly move your eyes back and forth, side to side, as rapidly as possible while keeping them closed. At the same time, think about the habit you are trying to give up. Do this for 15-20 seconds half a dozen times a day.

Scientists offer no explaination (Like you expected to find one here?) but it costs nothing, takes almost no time, and really did work for me.

[muffles]

YAY BLURKIE!! We're so proud/excited/rootin' for ya! And yay to everyone else who's done it so far! And yay to my friend that none of you know that gave up smoking recently!! Ya'll make me just that much happier

[Otterboy]

I got off cigarettes by using the patch. I got off the patch by chewing the gum. I got off the gum by switching to heroin. So I think I'm doing okay.

[O the U(manity)]

Yeah, you gotta watch out for that gum ... it'll kill ya ... or, at least, it'll make your dentist wealthy ...

(Got a DDS appt. tomorrow ... crammin' on Snickers™ now, 'cuz it'll end when he tells me how much damage I've done ...)

[Cheryl Howard]

snork @ Otterboy. Back when I smoked people would ask me why I smoked. I used to tell them because heroin is too hard to buy at 7'11.

[AlanBoss]

Gotta love The Onion! A few weeks ago, they placed a newspaper box right outside the enterance to the studio where I work. (I had no idea that there was an actual paper version of The Onion.) Every Monday, now, I grab a copy and leave it laying around in the room where I work and watch the looks on the poor guests that come through and notice headlines like "Bush Asks America To 'Be Quiet For A Minute, So I Can Think.'"

[Calo Bob]

It's an Onion article about Spirit, the "robot geologist" on Mars going a bit bonkers from too much time on Mars and the Martian winter. She keeps sending back messages like "Still No Water" and thinks another rover has found water but isn't telling anyone. And there's a photo of Mission control with a message from Spirit that says SURPRISE STILL NO MARTIANS.
http://hudd.info/sitemap.htm
What do you want to be that all the folks at Nasa have printed this out and put in on their doors, cublicle walls, etc.