WHEN DOGS GO BAD

They suck toads.

(Thanks to Mark Carlson)

Comments

[Meanie the Blue]

D@mn! Where's my toad, man? I'm tellin' you someone better come up with some toad right now! Cause if I don't get me some toad, I'm gonnna ....huh? What the....oh ....er, good morning, everyone.

Coffee. Toad is slang for coffee. What, you never heard that? Huh ....

[Nebbisk]

"Lady?" Bah... this spaniel should be called "Joe Cocker."

[Baron VonKlyff]

Hallucinogenic Toads... WBAGNFARB

also...

Toxic Toads
Toad Lickers
Trippin' Toads

I could go on and on and on....

[O the U(manity)]

If "Lady" [why is it that most everybuddy with a female Cocker Spaniel, particularly those of a specific coloration, name their b!tch Lady? No imagination? Brainwashed by WED & Co.? Need more drugs? Merely observin'.] would've practiced her toad suckage in moderation, she'd've been a functioning and contributing member of the household, with a recreational preference for amphibians.

Her excesses have put her into a need for rehabilitation, however, and brought shame and disrespect to her family.

Moderation in all things, m'dear ... even W.C. Fields knew this ...

[Siouxie]

"She seems to have outgrown the wild toad-obsessed years of her youth," Mirsch says, "and now only sucks on weekends."

Hmmm funny...that's what my EX used to say about me.

[baligurl]

Thank you, Siouxie. I was hopin' someone would go there, besides me!

[O the U(manity)]

... um ...

Nope. I got nothin' ... (in the conversational sense, strictly speakin' ...)

[slyeyes]

Wasn't there a toad-sucking dogin Big Trouble?

I know there were goats.

[Nurse Tammy]

More like a toad-tormented doggie. Still funny, though.

[ldyadiva]

My dog has had this problem since we got her at 6 months old, she's 6 years old now and seems to have most of her brain cells. We just let her sleep it off now, in the begining we thought it was going to kill her since it can if she has too much.

[Stevie W]

lol, sxi. To some of us, once or twice a week would be a blessing.

[Uncle Duke]

I could get along with Lady.

[Stevie W]

Maybe she was hoping one would turn into a (paw)prints.

[mudstuffin]

I don't get it. I kind of thought my dog walked around in a stupor anyway, without any help from a toad or whatever. Why would a dog need drugs, to forget thier troubles? Please! My Dog can lick himself for God's sake, how hard could life be for him?

[crossgirl]

wonders how long a 12 step program would take in dog years.

[insomniac]

a blast from the past...from a similar story...
Car lights are gone, nobody's home,
You don't want to gnaw a bone.
Your mouth pants, your tail shakes,
Another lick is what it takes!
You can't eat, don't wanna fetch
As dogs go, you're quite a wretch
Your throat is tight,can't find your bowl,
If there's no help soon, you're gonna howl!

You like to take a drink from the commode, oh yeah!
But it's closer to the truth to say that you'd sell your pups,
You're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to toads!

Posted by: insomniac | 11:57 AM on February 17, 2005

[Stevie W]

Tastes like chicken.

[Stevie W]

Was it an English sheepdog? An Irish setter? A Scottie?

Maybe he just liked toad-in-the-hole.

[Wyo Cowboy]

somebody should toss that dog a gumball.

[Somewhere North]

My dog is an addict too. Only it involves chicken bones, the garbage can and an accomplice cat. I dunno - he doesn't seem any stupider though. I mean, then normal.

[Mr. Completely]

Once again, life imitates art, eh, Dave? Just watched Big Trouble again last night; love the toad business, but I liked the goats better.

BTW, for those who've only seen the movie - ya gotta read the book.

[vanityball]

Reminds me of the episode in Family Guy where Peter Griffin starts a campaign to stop toad licking at Meg's school.
Lady better take this excellent advice: Remember, every time you lick a toad, you are licking every toad that toad has ever licked.

[Punkin Poo]

My dog just licks balls.

Bouncy balls.

The kind you play with.

(Ok, this is not getting ANY better)

[casey]

Snork at Insom, Siouxie & Stevie W!!! Oh, what the heck, snorks all around!

[Ernie G]

Another blast from the past - a poem by Mason Williams:

*clears throat*

Them Toad Suckers

How about Them Toad Suckers,
Ain't they clods?
Sittin' there suckin'
Them green toady-frogs.

Suckin' them hop-toads,
Suckin' them chunkers,
Suckin' them leapy types,
Suckin' them plunkers.

Look at Them Toad Suckers,
Ain't they snappy?
Suckin' them bog-frogs
Sure makes'em happy.

Them huggermugger Toad Suckers,
Way down south,
Stickin' them sucky-toads
In they mouth.

How to be a Toad Sucker?
No way to duck it.
Gittchyself a toad,
Rare back and suck it!

[Beppie]

And I thought Dave WJMTU! That is some REAL Big Trouble they got there!

[chuck]

Welcome to another meeting of T.A. We have a new member today.

"Hi. My name is Lady...and I'm a Toad Sucker."

[Siouxie]

much better than being a toe sucker...nttawwt

(actually there is much wrong with that)

*apologizes to the toe sucking community*

[Cheryl Howard]

My dog Edward does this...well not exactly with toads...but if you replaced "toad" with "cat"...anyways the cat does NOT appreciate it.

Its on the list of the many things we hope to teach Edward not to do.

[Brad]

Back when Rush Limbaugh was funny, he use to have this routine about toad licking, wondering who discovered it. What was the first person who tried it thinking? Well, now we know that dogs probably figured it out and passed it on. Like Limbaugh, the whole people licking toads thing isn't that funny anymore.

[ScottMGS]

Oh, come on, Beppie! Everyone here knows that everything The Blog writes is absolutely true!

(And I'm not just sucking toads up!)

Chuck, shouldn't that be the TSA? Which gives airline security a whole 'nother meaning, eh?