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October 30, 2006



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You're kidding! First?


"Warming the testicles - for example by taking hot baths, wearing tight jeans, having a sedentary job or using laptops on the lap - is known to cause temporary losses in fertility, but these can be quickly reversed."

With what, ice cubes?

I've got two kids I'm happy with. Can I have more coffee now?

Hm. I suppose that I'd better start treating small furry animals with more respect. Looks like they'll rule the world someday.



Ubetcha...I have found the reversal for that...a cool breeze. It can be (wo)man made or natural...infact sometimes I let the boys hang out the car window....

I can say with all confidence that:

- I can out-fertilize any hamster any day.

- My testicles are bigger than any hamster's (with the possible exception of the male hamster we had in our classroom when I was in 2nd grade...he had cajones the size of grapefruit)

- Warm Testicles might, in certain situations, be an OK name for a rock band.

so if we cut out coffee we will have ...
life without coffee...
and tons of kids

i dont see the problem here

Have more coffee,Normal children would have zero chance at surviving todays world.I mean,think about it.

It's not the coffee.

It's the "Non-Dairy" Petroleum "Creamer" with artificial amaretto flavoring, and the two packets of "Equal", in each cup. Please remember that we're speaking of a polystyrene (chemical) cup or else one coated in (dioxin-containing) plastics.

All consumed whilst sitting in the Starbucks, in close proximity to their microwave oven, gabbing on the cell phone while surfing the internet with that overheated laptop.

It's not the coffee itself. It can't be. Please, God, don't let it be the coffee.


"American Society for Reproductive Medicine"

There really is such an organization?

I hate to bust their bubble, but I've got a cousin who drank coffee all day long, and fathered 5 kids, however, that was before the days of laptops and cell phones, and coffee back then (70's) probably didn't have as much caffeen as it does today.
Just saying.

When you have kids, massive doses of coffee are MANDATORY.

Take it from me.

Of course, I'm also done having kids, so it's academic for me. I will admit that the last time, when we were trying, I cut out the coffee for a couple of weeks and WHAMMO, one try.

Billinbossier: The ASRM is the official association of docs (i.e., urologists and andrologists) who deal with sperm counts, male fertility issues and related stuff. I worked with them frequently back in my days with Urology Times magazine...and as I've said here before, yes, such a publication exists.

The blog is actin' stranger than usual. Somebody must have been singing the old saw "I am my own grandpaw???"

*Offers Scott a cup of coffee and directs him the the excersize wheel*

Hey, I just got back from web surfing on my coffee break, and boy, are my testicles warm. Did I miss anything?

Quote: Drinking just three cups of coffee a day decreases men's ability to father normal children

Um...why does this study presume we want 'normal' children? Normal kids are the ones you see running, screaming, etc. I want my kids to be sensational children, listening to classical music, astronauts, etc. There's no way I was going to settle for normal!


*stays FAR away from Scott, just in case random fertilization occurs*

scott could pollenate someone from across the classroom it seems

Scott, that mag is at the obvious web address. Fascinating series of articles this month.

"Drinking just three cups of coffee a day decreases men's ability to father normal children..."
1."Normal child" is a cruel myth, right up there with 'perfect man.'

2.They fail to mention that the statement was edited because of space constraints, and originally read: "Drinking just three cups of coffee a day during sex decreases men's ability to father normal children."

Zikes...how about this link.

"The Humble Banger" WBAGNFA one-man band. (It's one of the article links (har!).

"Warming The Testicles" WBAGNFARB.

yo! my name is k-fed, i'm a real gangsta jamster
keep your hos away, i'm as potent as a hamster
am i real or a fraud? i'm a-gonna keep you guessin'
gotta stop me know for my hamster wheel lesson!

now not know (stupid k-fed!)

*snork* @ insom. that's f-ked!

So all I had to do was keep drinking coffee, and I would never have had to be treated to a weekend on the couch with an ice pack?

Oh well, they gave me good drugs that day. When you can look at a blonde causing a puff of smoke to rise from your nether regions and calmly ask her, "So, are you cauterizing the vas deferens now?", you're on some good drugs.

WriterDude, I composed the following before I saw your message...

Low-count haiku

Declining sperm counts
Attributed to coffee.
I drop my latte.

Consider the choice:
Better awake or virile?
Pour me another.

Hamsters have us beat:
One hundred million more sperm.
A vas deferens.

All I can say is, if you can drink coffee during s3x, my hat is off to you...and so are a few other things.

Either all the boys are busy on their hamster wheels, or I just killed the blog with my sultry comment.

sigh....coffee, anyone?

AWBH: Tall, Grande or Vente? And, ya want foam on that?

LOl Annie

Black, please, Annie. Have I ever mentioned what I can do while drinking coffee?

Oops -- I forgot *major snork* (promoted from lieutenant) to Ford79. Haiku and pun. My ice pack hat is off to you!

Annie - Oh my.

W'Dude - No, what?

Um Lairbo, are we still talking about coffee?

Lairbo.....why are you looking at me like that?

Was it something I shed?

Well, Annie ... if you're talkin' about gettin rid of your Ex (and if he was a golfer), I say you shed a teer ...



Coffee, yeah, sure. Coffee.

Major snorks to Ford79!

Caffeine, huh? Well, the current bunch of twenty-somethings grew up on Mountain Dew, Red Bull and myriad other high-octane soft drinks.

I just read that America's population just reached 300,000,000.

And the countdown begins....

Hey, Mr. C! Haven't seen you in far too long. Refer to Annie's 6:02 post for what I was talking about.

Okay, just checking in. It's back to finishing the stairway to heaven the bar/home theater in the basement. This job has gone on so long, whenever people come over any more I say to them, "Welcome to The Home of Perpetual Remodel".

Lairbo -
right back atcha, sweetie!

I'm sorta partial to pasta moi ownself ...

"Modern lifestyles, and exposure to chemical pollution, are blamed for a precipitous drop in sperm counts in men worldwide....

Warming the testicles - for example by taking hot baths, wearing tight jeans, having a sedentary job or using laptops on the lap - is known to cause temporary losses in fertility, but these can be quickly reversed."

Yet another negative consequence of global warming.

High-larious album covers, y'all.

Pat Cooper sure looks young there. Heard him interviewed recently. The guy's a crack-up ("WHO TOLE YA DAT?").

My coffee has made me infertile
You could say it has made my cream curdle
After too much caffiene
My reptilian ween
Looks less like a snake, more like a turtle.

I just want to know two things...

  1. Who drew the short straw to be the one who manipulated the hamsters?
  2. Whose bright idea was it anyway to compare men to hamsters? Why not guinea pigs, or voles, or shrews, or cute furry bunnies, or… Ok. I’ll stop now.

stevie w - I find that I'm makin' that observation quite often lately ... about people in movies 'n' such lookin' "much younger" ... e.g. Susan Sarandon in RHPS ...

Baron VK - better to be compared to them mammals than to snakes or lizards or rats ... merely sayin' ... (well, a rat is a mammal, but a rather dethpickable one, eh?)

A better NFARB would be Rearranged Chromosomes.

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