ONE MAN'S OPINION

Dave Barry Must Be Stopped!

Comments

[angene15]

Certainly not my opinion!!

[Juggler of Geese]

Was that for real. Wow.

I have only one answer for him.

Booger

[angene15]

I like the quote, personally.

[Travis]

Something tells me Dave will be visiting Marquette very, very soon.

[Edgar Greenberg]

If it come to it, I am the Northeast Regional head of the Fanatical League of Chemical Terrorists. Our skills could prove useful in the struggle against Maquette Univerity and TV Critics.

[Chaz]

Isnt that D Wades alma-matter?

WTF!@?! Get HALF a clue, you collgeic f-tard

I am sorry, I get passionate against people who shove coal up their butts an wait for diamonds.

I need a gumball for the ride home.......

[CJrun]

Boogers, guys! This guy's joking! The group FIRE is trying to fight campus 'speech codes' all over the country.

[minchurgolf]

I've been lurking here form months but I'm steppin' out of the shadows now...this is THE funniest blog on the net!

for you posters: I will strive for the wit and blow water outta my nose humor that you all have.

for judi: you are my male hot bod website findin' heroine!

for dave: you had me at "booger"

nice to meet you all :)

[Mike Antonucci]

It was great reading that Reason interview again. Dave really ought to be President.

[blurk]

I have to agree with the professor. Dave's rhetoric was completely offensive. The government is our friend and we should send them more money. Okay, not the whole government, just the Department of Defense (I could really use a raise).
I also hear he has a friend that is the penis bone of a walrus. AND he's a sports writer.
This guy must be stopped.

[blurk]

minchurgolf (boy, that's a handful), welcome to the craziness. Proceed with snorkage, please.

[marfie]

Considering some of Dave's quotes that he could have put up, I say they got off easy. There is no reference to snakes, squirrels, toilets, or boogers.

James South -> O Just Shame

[Punkin Poo]

Don't worry, bloglits! I posted a tongue lashing on the evil authors blog.

Oh, and I kinda threatened him and told him to be nice to Dave or risk us all getting "irked" at him.

You'll back me up, right guys?

Guys?

.

.

.

*crickets*

[blurk]

*loads shotgun, and assault rifle, and crossbow, and pistol...and...*

I got yer back Punkin.

When the fight's over, though, can I have yer front?
Hey, can't hurt to ask.

[Clean Hands]

TPeashooters™ in the ready position!
(Don't worry, minchie, we'll issue you one...)
Forward, march!

[minchurgolf]

I'm ready! And I'm bringin' a big stick to poke at 'em with, too!

[blurk]

minchie, just remember to walk softly. Ya know, since yer carryin' a big stick and all.

[CJrun]

Although the comments on the other blog in question are fun, I wish he had provided a link for the cue-stick/ rectum at Marquette that decided the quote was patently offensive. Glad to see the local chapter of FIRE is on the job, pulling for the grad student. Plus I sent a link to one of FIRE's academic advisors so he could follow the fun! Colleges can be such a downer with all of these PC a55holes in the administrations!

[CJrun]

Can I shoot them, just to watch them go poof?

[blurk]

CJ, fire at will.

[minchurgolf]

I'm gonna bite 'em in the knee

(cuz I'm short)

[blurk]

Yer not short, minchie.
You just don't stick out of the ground very far.

It's all about perspective.

[Morgana]

Don't fire at Will, fire at James South Blurk-man,
...but remember Glenn is our friend. He spent his whole column with tongue firmly in cheek because Humor is the best weapon against stupidity.

and he didn't even call us ugly :)

[T. Jefferson]

"It is to secure our rights that we resort to government at all." --Thomas Jefferson to Francois D'Ivernois, 1795

[Punkin Poo]

*snif*

I am SO touched that you guys would follow me into blog-battle like this!!

Ok, chest out, torpedoes at the ready...CHARGE!!!!!!!

[blurk]

Morgana, I know the guy was just joshin'. I just like shootin' stuff.

[Morgana]

Blurk, watch out! Make sure you have accounted for Punkin's ...er torpedos!

Punkin, careful where you aim those things, you could put an eye out. It's happened.

[blurk]

Accounted for??!! I'm like the personal bodyguards in "Wind Talkers". Those things never leave my sight.
It's a tough job...you know the rest.

[CJrun]

Just for fun, I wrote to the prez of Marquette:

"Dear Sir:

I find it fascinating that somebody assigned the duty as a Department Chairman in the Philosophy Department should find a statement that is cautionary as to the federal government encroaching upon personal freedoms would find that the statement is without 'academic import,' or that a statement that is critical of the federal government in its practice of encroaching upon personal freedoms is 'patently offensive.'

That I might understand better, would it be possible to clarify the position of Marquette University on what does have and what does not have academic importance and how a statement that describes the power of federal government as a threat fails to meet the criterion? Would not the very warnings left to us in writing by the Framers of the Constitution and the writers of the Federalist Papers indicate that such a subject had 'academic import?'

Whom has been offended by the 'patently offensive' text? As it was directed towards the federal government and the American People comprise the federal government, has the American People been surveyed and found to be pluralistically offended? Upon what basis is the word 'patently' invoked if the American People has not been surveyed, or if upon survey that body has not been found to be offended? Would it, perhaps, be more accurate to suggest that South has been offended? By that, I refer of course, to James South, as opposed to The South. I am on reasonably solid ground in anticipating that The South would not be offended by a statement that warned of a grasping federal government.

Thank you in advance for your kind attention to this matter."

'Cause it's all about the fun!

[Morgana]

Hey, what would happen if the grad student put this up? "To secure these [inalienable] rights [to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness], governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed... Whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles, and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness." --Thomas Jefferson: Declaration of Independence, 1776

[Morgana]

*snork* at Blurk.

[CJrun]

Morgana: I, too, thought about the Declaration, but decided to stick with something that wouldn't be 'patently offensive' to King George.

[Just Ducky]

*applauds CJ's letter*

Welcome, minchie, from one who also 1) is pretty new here and 2) doesn't stick very far out of the ground.

[Morgana]

Well it was either TJ or sing the songs from the 1970s hit "Free to be You and Me".

Unless you want to paint your living room that is. Who here would have expected Dave's living room to be white?

[muffles]

It wasn't white to begin with? In all the apartments I've lived in, the walls were already white and I wasn't allowed to change it. Hey Dave - I'll trade you living accomodations!

[O the U(manity)]

Oh, the Humanity ... or did I say that already?

[Wyo Cowboy]

CJ! well done!

[CJrun]

Screwed up badly on the first paragraph, but it was fun and that's what's important.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Dare I post the contact information for the Marquette Philosophy department?

Yes, yes I do.

[Cheryl Howard]

CJ-- You rock.

Punkin--let em know we got missles.

[Jimmy South]

Please don't send me nasty emails at work.

[mudstuffin]

Anybody notice that James B. South looks a lot like Deiter, the host of "Sprockets"?

"Touch my monkey! Love him!"

[CJrun]

OK, DPC and Jimmy, take it down a notch. I noticed FIRE didn't post that. That's the address of the person that was offended. I'm thinking it might be counter-productive to attempt humor with him. Sure, it would be fun, oh nevermind....

[CJrun]

You didn't. Of course you did! You folks realize this blog is going to be screen-capped and entered in court.

El! Help!

[Siouxie]

mud, LOVE Deiter too!!

OH and I put in my 2 cents worth on that ridiculous blog...ARRGHHH! for a min there I thought I was back in Cuba...sheesh!

[CJrun]

Now that was funny! Refering to the other Blog post.

[Siouxie]

*Late to the blog war*

I may not have the chestage torpedoe power that Punkin has but my kickass boots are leathal weapons on their own.

[Philintexas]

We can take a lesson from our native American friends whom if they really didn't like some one would turn them over to their womenfolk. Punkin, Siouxie... have fun. Us guys will clean up the mess.

[AlanBoss]

This post gets a triple *snork*!

One for a University philosophy department that doesn't get it.

One for Glenn Garvin (if that is indeed his real name) for his almost Dave-like sense of humor.

And one for the mighty Blogglits that hijacked his Glen's blog!

Boogers all around!

[Art Vandelay]

I always say what makes America great is our right to offend whoever we want, whenever we want. If he didn't like the qoute don't read it.

[queensbee]

here's our bumpersticker: Save Free Speech. Vote Dave Barry for President. of Anything.

[Siouxie]

Phil, I'm sure I speak for Punkin and the rest of the womenfolk-blogette types when I say...BRING IT ON!!!

[Clean Hands]

I'm guessing that Professor South is wishing that he had picked on someone else. Thomas Jefferson doesn't have an active blog with an army of fans, ready to spring to his defense.

Sadly, nobody seems to much spring to Jefferson's defense these days, come to think of it.

[Siouxie]

HA! we're posting some purty funny stuffs!

ROAD TRIP to the other blog!

[CJrun]

From the 'other' blog: House returns Halloween night and Hugh Laurie will be hosting SNL. Plus, he is now using the phrase 'patently offensive baseball.' *sorry, judi, really*

[Layzeeboy]

I ran over and farted in their general direction.

[Eleanor]

*zips in*

CJ, remember you have the right to remain silent, which normally is the best path to take. :)

[Annie Where-but-here]

El - shhh! You're not supposed to tell!

[CJrun]

*snorks @ El, continues filling out application for 'openings' @ Marquette*

[CJrun]

BTW, I was having fun on the road trip [as it is a TV/ Movie site], but really: Angelina Jolie as Dagny Taggart? She's independent-minded, but I just don't see it. Sandra Bullock, maybe.

[CJrun]

*wanders in*

Oh and El, you forgot Ron White's maxim: I had the right, but I didn't have the ability.

[Wyo Cowboy]

CJ, that might me Ron's greatest line. Certainly for those of us labeled "outspoken" some things are nigh unto impossible.

[CJrun]

*cracks up @ Wyo's spelling lesson to Alfred, just sayin'*

Meanwhile, just watched Jay Leno have a wierd conversation with Gidgit. Annie once warned me about being manic and this was exactly what she meant. It helps to see it from the outside, sometimes.

[Tbomb]

I always just assumed Dave was trying to take over the world, I mean, isnt that the point of blogs?