Dave Barry's Blog

PYTHONS

They're not so tough.

(Thanks to chicomathmom)

EASY FOR THEM TO SAY

(Thanks to RussellMc)

TRULY EXCELLENT NAME FOR A ROCK BAND

Two Tons of Pig Heads

(A big oink of thanks to Claire Martin)

FUN HALLOWEEN GAME THAT WE HAVE POSTED BEFORE BUT WHAT THE HELL IT'S HALLOWEEN

These two photos appear identical... until you look closely.

WHY WE NEED GUYS ON HALLOWEEN

Without guys, there would be nobody to develop a gun that shoots candy.

(Via Gizmodo)

THIS CANNOT BE GOOD

Squirrels on crack.

(Thanks to NCoan)

CONGRATULATIONS!

This motorist had officially qualified for a Florida Driver's License.

(Thanks to Addicted to 24)

UPDATE: She could even drive a bus!

(Thanks to Gretchen DeJarnett)

UPDATE: This woman clearly resides in the wrong state.

(Thanks to muffles)

WHEN THE SMALL UGLY DOGS RISE UP AND DESTROY HUMANITY

....nobody will be able to say we didn't deserve it.

(Thanks to Nurse Tammy)

SO TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

Snake in His Shorts

(Thanks to DukeMom)

ATTENTION ALL UNITS

Be on the lookout. Suspect may be vibrating.

(Also thanks to DavCat14)

SEMI-BIONIC TORTOISE OF THE WEEK SO FAR

(Thanks to DavCat14)

(Yes, we know that "Semi-Bionic Tortoise" WBAGNFARB)

24

We continue to analyze the trailer for Season 6. As far as we can tell, it's going to be pretty much the same plot as the first five seasons take the show in a radically new direction, in which terrorists attack the United States, and Jack Bauer fights them, and a great many special effects explode.

Speaking of special, tonight we have a special treat, brought to us by The Amazing Steve in cooperation with Andy the TropicHunt.com Guy. They have somehow managed to unite 24 with the Herald Hunt. The bastard child fruit of that union can be found here.

HOW GUYS CELEBRATE HALLOWEEN

They celebrate by carving their pumpkins.

(Thanks to DavCat)

HEADLINE OF THE DAY FOR THE INCURABLY IMMATURE

(Thanks to Don Adams)

WAIT JUST A DARNED MINUTE

FINAL HUNT UPDATE

People often ask me what kind of people participate in the Hunt. I would describe them as smart, attractive, focused and -- above all -- casually dressed.

YEARS FROM NOW, WE WILL ALL REMEMBER EXACTLY WHERE WE WERE AND WHAT WE WERE DOING WHEN WE HEARD THE NEWS

CALLING MR. CRUISE

Your ride is here.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

A TOUCHING TALE FROM WHAPLODE (YES, "WHAPLODE")

Little Holly Pulling finds a friend.

HUNT WRAPUP

Whoa. That was fun. Beautiful day, big crowd, lotta craziness. The Herald story by Evan Benn is here; on the same page you can click on an excellent video by Chuck Fadely that covers the whole thing beginning to end, with extensive footage of me and Tom Shroder getting booed. As always, Andy the TropicHunt.com guy did a fine job of both participating in and chronicling the Hunt; his site, with many photos, is here. The CBS local-TV news story is here.

Thanks to everybody who came out, and everybody who helped. One question we often hear is, "When the Hunt is over, what do you do with the unclaimed body parts?"  The answer is, we give them to Hunt Executive Directrix Elaine Pasekoff, shown below in a CrapCam photo with Tom. So if you lost an arm, please contact her.   

HUNT UPDATE

It was great. Details to follow eventually.

TODAY'S THE DAY

See you in South Miami.

H _ _ _ O _ E E _ I S _ O M I _ _

(Thanks, a long time ago, to TCK)

FINALLY, A SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION FOR TOM CRUISE

(Thanks to Steve Olson)

BA-DUMP.... BA-DUMP...

RIP, Tommy Johnson.

(Thanks to MOTW)

HERALD HUNT REMINDER

The world-famous Herald Hunt will take place Sunday, starting at noon in downtown South Miami. Here's the official Herald Hunt site, which was down for a while but is now back up, we hope. And here is the amazingly thorough site maintained by Andy the tropichunt.com guy. Everything you need to know to participate in the Hunt is in the Miami Herald's special Hunt section, which will be in Sunday's Herald. (If you want a head start, you can get the early edition on Saturday afternoon.) So if you're looking for something fun to do in South Florida and enjoy being driven insane solving puzzles, come on out! Bring your medications family! We will see you there.

FOR THE MAN WHO HAS A VERY SMALL BRAIN EVERYTHING

The Porsche Toaster

(Via Gizmodo)

WHY CATS HAVE SURVIVED FOR MILLIONS OF YEARS

They are superb hunters.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

SPEAKING OF TOADS, PART II

"If you want to hate me, cool, hate me."

OK!

SPEAKING OF TOADS

The Frog Hotel

(Thanks to Cheryl Howard)

WHEN DOGS GO BAD

They suck toads.

(Thanks to Mark Carlson)

MONTANA EDUCATOR OF THE WEEK SO FAR

(Thanks to Brian Tremblay)

CREEPING FASCISM

Now they are trying to deprive us of our basic constitutional right to dress as Captain Underpants.

(Thanks to Matt Blackstone)

HEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR

(Not to mention a great name for a rock band.)

(Thanks to Jeff Carrie's friend Jean and Janice Gelb, who sent in this version)

RE-UPDATE 1 (Earworm of the Century)

RE-UPDATE 2 (Productivity Enhancer of the Millenium)

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

It turns out that Sutton Pierce is actually Jayden James. This blog extends its deepest sympathy to those fans who already got Sutton Pierce tattoos.

(Thanks to pretty much everyone)

WHEW

OKLAHOMA EDUCATION INITIATIVE OF THE WEEK SO FAR

(Also thanks to Gizmodo)

YIKES! GIANT EARPHONE-WEARING HEAD AS SEEN FROM SPACE VIA GOOGLE MAPS

(Via Gizmodo)

WHY WE LOVE MIAMI

It's larger than life.

CHILDREN'S MUSEUM OF THE WEEK SO FAR

"Fithi  is still having her grand adventure."

WHAT GUYS NEED

They need Woody's.

(Thanks to ubetcha)

HOMELAND SECURITY UPDATE

Colorado takes a vigilant stand against illegal immigrants getting rebates for low-flow toilets.

(Thanks to Connie Younkin)

UPDATE: In a closely related development, Lancashire cracks down on novelty socks.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

(Thanks to Wendy Cloyd)

JAPAN

Land of beauty.

(Via Gizmodo)

UPDATE: This item appear to be afflicted with Nonexistent Comment-Section Disorder (NCSD). I'm hoping that by pointing this out, I will somehow fix the problem.

UPDATE: It worked! I am going to move to India and work in Tech Support.

WHY WE LOVE COLLEGE

The intellectual stimulation.

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

The Annual Holiday Gift Guide is coming. Santa and I have been road-testing a very special performance vehicle for guys of the male gender.

(Photo by Bob Eighme)

SPORTS DAD OF THE WEEK SO FAR

(Thanks to Annette Gaudreau)

FASCISM

Now they want to take away our Vegemite.

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

ADVISORY

One hour to go.

UPDATE: OK, I watched it. Here's what I learned:

1. Jack will get a shave.

2. Then, for the sixth consecutive season, he will almost certainly die.

3. Chloe has apparently dyed her hair.

WHY WE LOVE THE ONION

Disturbing reports from the overpriced space Roomba.