FOR THE MAN WHO HAS A VERY SMALL BRAIN EVERYTHING
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Wow. 118 pound sterlings for a toaster.
Posted by: Edgar Greenberg | October 27, 2006 at 10:52 AM
So, if I understand this right, someone who first designs cars is qualified to make toasters? I don't think so...
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | October 27, 2006 at 10:52 AM
Darn you, Edgar...
Hey, wait...you're supposed to be dead!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | October 27, 2006 at 10:54 AM
Goes with the £400 coffee machine, and the £85 waffle iron and them gold plated pancakes for thew world ultimate breakfast.
Posted by: Edgar Greenberg | October 27, 2006 at 10:54 AM
wow....a smart toaster.
Posted by: Siouxie | October 27, 2006 at 10:54 AM
Will it impress the chicks? Or makes us think someone's overcompensating? I'm just sayin'...
Posted by: baligurl | October 27, 2006 at 10:57 AM
So how many Porche's can you toast at once though?
Posted by: Beppie | October 27, 2006 at 10:58 AM
How will it perform with Pop Tarts?
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Chris | October 27, 2006 at 10:59 AM
Actually, for pancakes, I believe that gold leaf is preferred. (Just like in Goldschlager.) Goldplating would require dunking the pancake into a truly vile chemical soup and then electrifying it. Not so good for pancake. Do not taunt happy goldplated pancake!
Aw, crap, my coffee's wearing off again.
Posted by: Clean Hands | October 27, 2006 at 11:01 AM
baligurl - All the guys know that a toaster is the true path to a girl's heart. At least that's what I was told. Of course, I'm 86 and never been married.
Posted by: Musically Challenged | October 27, 2006 at 11:02 AM
This might actually be useful if it dialed 911 when it bursts into flames. Plus you can use the packaging for Halloween and go as 'Men with Boxters on Your Heads.'
Posted by: CJrun | October 27, 2006 at 11:04 AM
I toasted a porsche once....
*mumbles* break up with ME will ya.....rassin, frackin....
Posted by: Punkin Poo | October 27, 2006 at 11:05 AM
I'm with tropichunt.com guy. How do you go from designing high-performance cars to designing...toasters?
Posted by: Schadeboy | October 27, 2006 at 11:08 AM
And of course, it's made by Siemens...
Posted by: estrogen centrale | October 27, 2006 at 11:08 AM
Can you get Porsche Toaster clothing and accessories? I want to wear a Porsche Toaster Leather Jacket to impress all the
chicksladies.Posted by: Baron VonKlyff | October 27, 2006 at 11:09 AM
I love the phrase "State-of-the-art"
I have noticed that, hard as it is to keep up with new technical innovations in, say, computers, it has been so much more frustrating keeping up with the rapidly changing world of toast.
Posted by: Dave_no_not_THE_Dave | October 27, 2006 at 11:11 AM
mc- no, no, no. my mother always said that it was a stand mixer by Kitchenaid (trademark thingy) that was the true way to a woman's heart. that or a 6" filet knife. (between the 3rd and 4th rib.
Posted by: wickedwitch | October 27, 2006 at 11:11 AM
this same
idiotperson designed an external hard drive some time backPorsche hard drive
Posted by: Chaz | October 27, 2006 at 11:12 AM
Hand to heaven. True story.
I rear-ended a Porsche once. The guy comes tearing out of his car back to mine. Then the testosterone level drop an iota, when I get out of my car. He says to me, "Oh, I thought you were my ex-wife. She has a car just like yours."
I'm thinking, can this get any worse?!?!!
Posted by: estrogen centrale | October 27, 2006 at 11:13 AM
I should NOT have gone exploring on that site.
(Note the green and orange products)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Chris | October 27, 2006 at 11:13 AM
My 12 dollar toaster "remembers" how I like my toast, too. As long as nobody turns the little knobby thing on the side.
Posted by: Layzeeboy | October 27, 2006 at 11:14 AM
KitchenAid® is the way to any true cook's heart. Not only do they make excellent appliances, but they stand behind them to an unreasonable degree.
After I abused my KitchenAid stand mixer to death (no, you cannot grind 20 lbs of meat in one session), and unsuccessfully attempted repairs myself, I called the company to ask for suggestions.
They replaced the out-of-warranty, self-repaired mixer with a brand new, slightly better than equivalent model.
What's more, the customer service gal I was speaking with asked if I had one of their coffee makers, as some were subject to recall. As it happened, I had snagged one just a few months earlier from a thrift store for $5. It was the recalled model, and I got a brand new $100 coffee maker in exchange.
I go out of my way to buy KitchenAid® now.
Posted by: Clean Hands | October 27, 2006 at 11:18 AM
Yeah Clean Hands, I meant goldleafed pancake. Electroplating foodstuffs make them taste bad and poisonous to boot. Plus it's difficult, as normal panckes don't conduct that well.
Posted by: Edgar Greenberg | October 27, 2006 at 11:19 AM
Oh, and Dave, I don't think it's their brains that are small.
Posted by: Layzeeboy | October 27, 2006 at 11:19 AM
What will you bet that the thing still has a setting which should be titled "Burned Beyond Recognition". Why do they do that?
Also, remember Bob and Ray's home studios in NYC are named "The House of Toast".
Posted by: pogo | October 27, 2006 at 11:20 AM
Well, it looks like Porsche has a whole line of
uselesskitchen product forsmall weenieddiscerning men.Porsche Coffee Maker
Porsche Kettle
Posted by: Baron VonKlyff | October 27, 2006 at 11:22 AM
Baron the linkie to all of them is here
Posted by: Edgar Greenberg | October 27, 2006 at 11:25 AM
thank you lazeeboy, i was thinking 'small man syndrome' myself, but didn't want to possibly offend anyone.
Posted by: wickedwitch | October 27, 2006 at 11:27 AM
CH- and that's why they are the way to a woman's heart. it takes a real man to know (and admit that he knows)quality in appliances.
Posted by: wickedwitch | October 27, 2006 at 11:29 AM
Aerodynamic Porshe
Posted by: Siouxie | October 27, 2006 at 11:33 AM
WW - Yes, when I put my ad on Match.com I was SURE to add "Must recognize & know how to use quality
personalkitchen appliances."Posted by: Punkin Poo | October 27, 2006 at 11:35 AM
I prefer my porsche be only lightly browned with strawberry jam please.
Posted by: casey | October 27, 2006 at 11:36 AM
*SNORK* @ Punkin... *bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
Posted by: Clean Hands | October 27, 2006 at 11:36 AM
*snork*@Siouxie!
(Looks JUST like my cat - she's named Ella Fitzgerald - cuz she's a strong black woman with a big set of pipes!)
Posted by: Punkin Poo | October 27, 2006 at 11:36 AM
I prefer my porsche with leather wrapped streeing wheel...and a side of cream cheese
Posted by: Chaz | October 27, 2006 at 11:38 AM
with christmas coming, here is THE BEST GIFT FOR A MAN EVER
Posted by: Chaz | October 27, 2006 at 11:41 AM
CH- is that buzz your coffee kicking in, or are you licking toads again?
Posted by: diverdowndoc | October 27, 2006 at 11:41 AM
Do not taunt happy fun toad, either.
Posted by: Clean Hands | October 27, 2006 at 11:48 AM
CH - I forget - what are you supposed to do if Happy Fun Toad begins to smoke?
Posted by: Punkin Poo | October 27, 2006 at 11:51 AM
Easy. Slap a nicotine patch on it. Next!
Posted by: Clean Hands | October 27, 2006 at 11:52 AM
Snork, snork, snork....
Posted by: Baron VonKlyff | October 27, 2006 at 11:57 AM
...goes from zero to cinders in ten seconds...
Posted by: insomniac | October 27, 2006 at 12:01 PM
but... but... this toaster which is for the man with *ahem*
the very small brainEverything was manufactured by... SEIMENS? am i the only one who finds thishilariousinteresting?Posted by: puppytoes | October 27, 2006 at 12:05 PM
*snork, snork, snork*
Off topic alert:
Siouxie, I was inspired by the SkyMall mag on a plane yesterday to delve into some Christmas shopping. Looky, I found a turntable that can be used to convert vinyl to digital. There are lots of them out there, but this one seems very simple and is much less expensive than anything I have seen.
Posted by: CJrun | October 27, 2006 at 12:07 PM
Anybody else watch the Simpsons last night? BEST line of ever - Marge was recruited by Mr Burns to go on a ship. He asked Smithers what he thought about it - he said "Well Sir, I don't think Seamen and women mix, sir."
Love it....
Ok, maybe it was just me....
Posted by: Punkin Poo | October 27, 2006 at 12:10 PM
It's deja vu all over again, but *snork* at CH for nicotine patch
Posted by: diverdowndoc | October 27, 2006 at 12:11 PM
from the department of redundancy department
Posted by: diverdowndoc | October 27, 2006 at 12:13 PM
Hello? Is this thing on?
Posted by: diverdowndoc | October 27, 2006 at 12:25 PM
Punkin - great cat name!
CJ - Thanks ;) simple. cheap. perfect.
Posted by: Siouxie | October 27, 2006 at 12:27 PM
ECHO!
*listens*
echo
echo
Posted by: diverdowndoc | October 27, 2006 at 12:27 PM
'scuse me siouxie! Didn't mean to yell in your ear. I didn't see you there
Posted by: diverdowndoc | October 27, 2006 at 12:28 PM
Deja vu? Who you vu?
Posted by: Clean Hands | October 27, 2006 at 12:30 PM
Hu vu u?
(Gawd, I hate the lunch time deadzone...)
Posted by: Clean Hands | October 27, 2006 at 12:34 PM
hola ddd! sorry to have bumped into ya!
*keeps hearing echo echo echo*
Posted by: Siouxie | October 27, 2006 at 12:35 PM
puppytoes,
Yup, see my post at 11:08.
ec
Posted by: estrogen centrale | October 27, 2006 at 12:37 PM
Does this thing just toast things really fast? If not, um, why?
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | October 27, 2006 at 12:38 PM
so he used to design porsches, and now he designs toasters?
does anyone else feel kinda sorry for him?
i mean, anytime somebody asks him what he does, he's gonna say:
well, i design toasters - but i used to design porsches!
and they will always, always assume he made up the last part just to make his life sound more exciting
Posted by: TCK | October 27, 2006 at 12:39 PM
Harumph! Real porsche owners don't do toast. They brunch, or they have their maid, Porsche, do it for them.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 27, 2006 at 12:50 PM
Or think "Why has he been demoted to toasters?"
And pray they never discover his last porsche design - recalled due to the "heated ejection seats".
Posted by: Punkin Poo | October 27, 2006 at 12:51 PM
Ooh, wonder if it has a power converter so you can make toast in your car? Then the guys can REALLY impress the chicks! From their Civic.
Posted by: baligurl | October 27, 2006 at 12:52 PM
Yet, somehow, he's still getting us to burn our bread.
Posted by: Mr.Fisher | October 27, 2006 at 12:57 PM
A friend girl's boyfriend had that whole car insecurity thing so badly that he actually peeled all of the emblems from his Civic, hoping he could convince gals it was something snazzier. Yeah, he got howled at, then dumped.
Posted by: CJrun | October 27, 2006 at 12:58 PM
Mr. Fisher- not to mention our cash.
Posted by: diverdowndoc | October 27, 2006 at 01:01 PM
Remember people - do NOT get toasted in your Porsche. Let Dietrich drive.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 27, 2006 at 01:07 PM
I got one made by Peugeot. For French toast.
Pah-dump bump. Thank you, thank you very much.
Posted by: Stevie W | October 27, 2006 at 01:07 PM
CJ - OMG! I know a guy who did the same thing! Do you think we have the same insane friends???
Posted by: Punkin Poo | October 27, 2006 at 01:08 PM
*SNORKs* the Fish.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | October 27, 2006 at 01:09 PM
*le snork* @ steve
Posted by: Punkin "Pepe La"Poo | October 27, 2006 at 01:09 PM
[apologizes in advance for serious post] CJRun, that turntable looks cool but at that price I doubt the results would be very good. You can pull some excellent sound off your old LPs but it takes some decent hardware to do it.
Posted by: Neil G | October 27, 2006 at 01:14 PM
fishy/stevie *snorks*. No Punkin', there really are an abundance of those sad cases, spread about fairly evenly so we all get to laugh. Yours are the Maine subspecies.
Posted by: CJrun | October 27, 2006 at 01:19 PM
Avast ye, Neil G! This is a comedy blog! Take yon boring drivel and toss it portside! Get thee to a funnery!
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 27, 2006 at 01:19 PM
Annie, you be quiet for a minit. This is important stuff.
CJ, I was about to say "way cool" when I read Neils's comment. Neil, can you elaborate? I got about a thousand 33's gathering dust.
Posted by: Stevie W | October 27, 2006 at 01:27 PM
The same unit is available on Amazon, for $10 less; read the reviews there.
My family has a gorgeous collection of old LPs, and I am really hoping that this will be a way to preserve and extend those albums.
Posted by: Clean Hands | October 27, 2006 at 01:31 PM
YOu'd think Seimans woulda changed their name already. All the jokes are old by now. They should change it to Balles or something like that.
Posted by: Beppie | October 27, 2006 at 01:34 PM
*pouts some more
I have a small but important-to-me collection of 78s I'd like to convert, and this turntable will not spin that fast.
*shuffles over to the bus stop to wait for geezer bus to pick him up
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Chris | October 27, 2006 at 01:34 PM
I drive a DeLonghi.
Posted by: Stevie W | October 27, 2006 at 01:37 PM
Don't you be shushing a piratte-lady, stevie w! Lest we'll heist ye sad bag 'o bones from the yardarm...
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 27, 2006 at 01:38 PM
I have TONS of LP's and a few 45's but I'm just dying to listen to my Rocky Horror Picture Show album...scratches and all!
(yes, I have the CD AND DVD, but it's a geezer thing...)
Posted by: Siouxie | October 27, 2006 at 01:39 PM
AW,
Just as long as you don't fold, spindle, or mutilate.
(Get the connex? Spindle?)
Posted by: Stevie W | October 27, 2006 at 01:45 PM
stevie w - got it. Now quit needling me. ;)
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 27, 2006 at 01:55 PM
AWright, then. I like your stylus.
Posted by: Stevie W | October 27, 2006 at 01:58 PM
I'll turn the tables on you yet.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | October 27, 2006 at 02:11 PM
Maybe they could get Heywood Banks to do the commercials.
Posted by: sly dripping wet eyes | October 27, 2006 at 02:11 PM
Oops, excuse me. Just got out of the shower and forgot to dry off.
fortunatley, the toaster wasn't in there with me.
Posted by: slyeyes | October 27, 2006 at 02:12 PM
*Enjoyss Annie & Stevie groovin'*
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | October 27, 2006 at 02:18 PM
^^Sspot the typo?
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | October 27, 2006 at 02:20 PM
Another great YouTube offering, slyeyes... and nice imaginings, too. ;-)
Posted by: Clean Hands | October 27, 2006 at 02:29 PM
The Porsche toaster's on fire! Quick! Call 911!
Posted by: Just Ducky | October 27, 2006 at 02:31 PM
Siouxie - LOVE Rocky - and Rent and Wicked.
In the first week I was dating my now hubby, my daughter was doing the midnight stage show of Rocky at a local theater (she was Columbia)......he went with me to pick her up, and met her for the first time while she was wearing twelve tons of eye shadow and 12 ounces of satin & sequined fabric!
Of course, he had to sit through watching all the dressed up freak-of-an-audience members stroll out first!
(And he still married me!)
Posted by: Punkin Poo | October 27, 2006 at 02:32 PM
Unfunny alert!
Neil, I agree things like ProTools are much better than that may be, and for those really interested there's a $400 model [here] that burns CDs by itself and plays 45s and 78s. However, I use good cheap software [available free download/ evaluation] from polderbits.com and my own turntable/ PC. I have gotten wonderful results, but it's very laborious. The above turntable looks very simple and it is very inexpensive, so that was the appeal. I shall check out the reviews on Amazon.
Posted by: CJrun | October 27, 2006 at 02:49 PM
Unfunny response alert!
CJrun, I was referring more to the turntable part of the equation than the A/D end of it. I'm an admitted turntable snob but I really don't think you can get a decent sound out of a record without spending a certain amount of cash, probably $500 or so. Rega springs to mind as a maker of quality low(er) priced turntables. Most people are stunned by the quality of sound that can be had from a turntable, they simply never imagine that it is possible.
However if you've got a cheapie turntable and you think the sound is fine, then by all means digitise that sucker and preserve it warts and all.
Posted by: Neil G | October 27, 2006 at 02:56 PM
*Firetrucks carrera down the road*
(SNORK!@ Ducky)
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | October 27, 2006 at 03:11 PM
estrogen centrale: well thank goodness for that, i was starting to lose all respect for this blog. (don't know how i missed your comment, my bad!)
Posted by: puppytoes | October 27, 2006 at 03:12 PM
I hear ya, Neil. I have many mid-priced turntables and currently use a Technics and a Kenwood. I've also got BSRs and Garrards and a bunch of others. My favorite's the Kenwood, surprisingly. Then there's all of the other gadgetry [pop suppressor, dynamic range expander, etc.]. For me, the tough part is the A/D conversion. I've spent days at the process just to get Born To Run, Songs In The Key of Life, and Savoy Brown's Street Corner Talking finished. For the hundreds of others that never get much play, I need simple. I'll save the turntable hassles for the Marriage of Figaro!
Posted by: CJrun | October 27, 2006 at 03:16 PM
I've got a Linn Sondek. I just play my records if I want to hear them, any A/D is just going to screw up the sound.
Posted by: Neil G | October 27, 2006 at 03:22 PM
Oh well. I put my money where my heart was and ordered it [the turntable, not the toaster]. I read the reviews and took a chance. Because I am a guy of the male gender, I must have a new toy!
Posted by: CJrun | October 27, 2006 at 03:53 PM
"I'll turn the tables on you yet(aw, 2:11 p)."
Doubt it. But can I take you for a spin in my toaster?
(Dang. She'll never see this. Timing is everything).
Posted by: Stevie W | October 27, 2006 at 09:41 PM
Sleyes - be careful. Mythbusters did the toaster in the tub thing and yes, you will get fried.
Posted by: Layzeeboy | October 30, 2006 at 05:06 PM