18-AND-OLDER NEWS STORY OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Key quote: The entire story

(Thanks to Lee Allen)

Comments

[lstarn]

?

[Siouxie]

A special agent was sent to Japanese brothels to investigate the issue.

blurk?

[Clean Hands]

If this was a tough nut to crack, I think I'm glad that I'm not involved in the product testing.

[Kathybear]

I fear I did not read far enough, so I'll ask - does it vibrate on its own?

[Meanie the Blue]

*Bangs on side of computer*

Stupid filter!

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

My firewall is protecting me. Is this the one about the hotels renting plastic women with a room?

[blurk]

Siouxie, which issue? Ya have to be specific.

[Siouxie]

it's about a new vibrating condom, fellas...

[Siouxie]

The new condom is currently undergoing tests.

Sign me UP!!

[blurk]

oooooooookkkkkkkkkkk...um...I don't know what to say.

[Siouxie]

blurk:

To find the perfect place for the vibrating device on such a small item as a condom was a very hard nut to crack for Japanese sex engineers.

research...

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

How do I get a job as a sex engineer? I never see openings for that listed on Monster.

[Chaz]

dont they already have the "ring"
condon ring

that takes lazy to a whole new level

[blurk]

I'll ask this because because I'm truly curious. Blog beauties is this really a product you'd like to see "put to use", so to speak?

[Chaz]

its like taking a blender to a tea party, dontchathink?

[Siouxie]

Chris & Meanie

I've mailed you guys the article...enjoy!

[Siouxie]

hmm I dunno, blurk..it sounds uh...interesting.

[queensbee]

bwahhhhha, blurk. and, well, nope. not going there.

[Siouxie]

I hear Punkin was part of the development team...she being sort of an expert on vibrating apparatuses apparati toys.

[Punkin Poo]

I'd prefer the guy do some of the motion...

And BTW - If you use the vibrating condom in the, um, assal area, you'll probably be in line for the anti-'roid chair, too....

(Not that I have any personal knowledge of this)
*shifts in office chair to get comfy*

[Layzeeboy]

It's wireless. Cool. Hate to get the boys all tangled up in a stupid wire.

It allows the woman to experience two pleasures at once. Um, isn't that what hands are for?

[ubetcha]

"A lot of men think that women like the back and forth movement in sex. This is absolutely wrong. They would rather prefer to have the penis inside producing up and down movements," a porno actor said.

Huh?? I must be getting old. What happened to the good old "in and out?"

[Fast Eddie]

I'd like some confirmation on that advice from the lady bloggers, please I may need to go work on my technique.

[blurk]

Fast Eddie,
That's kinda what I was thinkin'. If a guy needs mechanical aids to satisfy the fairer sex he may want to work on that technique a little.
Just sayin' is all.

[blurk]

BTW, Mary, I hope you're appreciating my restraint. This thread takes a lot of will power.

[Siouxie]

which is WHY I am abstaining from answering, blurk...

[Clean Hands]

Aren't threads tagged with the "Osbournes" warning automatically free-fire zones? Just asking...

[blurk]

CH, you're absolutely right. The blog kids are automatically protected.

What are they gonna call this contraption?
Bedroom Buddy?
P3cker Pal?

Just wonderin'.

[DavetheRed]

*Snork -- been sitting here laughing at the article and the posts and looking like a nut case.

[Boo Augustus]

From the "Cat Rapes Woman After Performing Oral [email protected] on Her" link (tee hee):

"It is noteworthy that lonely women often use their pets (cats or dogs, regardless of [email protected]) to satisfy their [email protected] needs. Such pet adventures often lead to lamentable consequences - not for pets, but for [email protected] women, as a rule."

[Siouxie]

The Pekamoto...in japanese?

[blurk]

Wanker Wizard?

[Siouxie]

oh and ewwwwie on the animal s3x!

[billinbossier]

"Women, who experienced the new kind of pleasure, were all thrilled with the new sexual feeling. They said that the vibrating condom would give women a possibility to experience two pleasures simultaneously. "

OK...what is the other one?

[lance]

Beach boys..."good good good good vibrations, excitations"

[Chaz]

I have a pekamoto pekingese..two in fact

[Cheryl]

Hey, look at the date They invented this TWO years ago!! Hurry up with the delivery already.

(I would say "get on the stick" ... but that would be redundant.)

[Siouxie]

LUNCH TIME!!

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Can I get a rubber that vibrates AND plays music?
Maybe a light show too?

[Ted Simple]

Does this mean the next big thing (for certain women) is the vibrating dog collar?

[Chaz]

Dead Chris...do you want a "pink" floyd laser light show?

[blurk]

Does this thing carry the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval? I mean how many documented instances are there of this shorting out and what damage and/or mayhem was caused?
Does it carry a warning label?
"Do not use while operating heavy machinery"

These questions need to be addressed.

[Chaz]

"Uh-oh, Hot Dog"

[XMY]

SNORK! (I'm a titswhiff away from getting fired) Oh God, more stocking stuffers! This is gonna be the best Christmas EVER!

Still laughin.

[Beppie]

And the number one most interesting invention, the vibrating condom! And, coming in at a close second (no pun intended!) the hemmorhoid chair! Congratulations participants. And to those who just weren't that interesting this year, better luck next time.

[blurk]

Um, XMY, what exactly is a "titswhiff" and how does one measure it?

[Meanie the Blue]

Siouxie - not seeing any emails from you
*Sniff*

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

Speaking of shorting out vibrating rubbers:
(This is a little disjointed, but it comes back together at the end.)

My father (!!) told my wife and I that we should consider prostate massage as part of our "normal routine". (This was right after he had been diagnosed with prostate cancer. He's fine now, thanks for asking.) His doctor told him to tell me, since PC may be inheritable, and prostate massage may help prevent it. So I'm doing some research online and find the wiki entry, which makes reference to electrode use in animal husbandry for sample collection. So right now, I'm thinking that if a couple really wants to have a child, the wife should jam an electrode up her hubby's keaster and wire it to her Ov-Watch. The Ov-Watch goes off, hubby goes off, child is conceived.

See everything is connected. In my twisted mind at least.

[Siouxie]

Meanie - sending again

says Siouxie - TAKE TWO

[Siouxie]

Chris, did YOU get the email?? it shows that they went through on my end..

[Chaz]

chris talks about prostate checking and siouxie says "take two"

was that a coincidence?

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

checking.....

Um, nope. ;-(

[Siouxie]

hehe..a total coinkidink

[Siouxie]

hmmm...odd

I just resent to both - again

[XMY]

Blurk, "titwhiffs" are those tiny quick lil sniffs to the cleavage crevices that intoxicated fellers attempt to pull off assuming this stunt will go unnoticed, but in most cases sadly ends up breaking bad.

[blurk]

Hmm...never tried that particular technique but I don't really see how it would go unnoticed.

[Meanie the Blue]

Thx, Sioux.

[Siouxie]

welcome, Meanie

maybe you don't remember cuz you was intoxicated, blurk?

just sayin'

[diverdowndoc]

Just a couple of questions-

Where do the batteries go?

Where can I get a gross of them ... I mean... wow!

[Siouxie]

ddd, I'd even improve the design to include a wireless remote - given to the woman!

SET CONDOM TO: ROCK MY WORLD!

[XMY]

Hmmmm, well Blurk, maybe yours werent subtle, more like a full on facial burial.

[blurk]

Just tryin' to appreciate the full bouquet.

[Lorrie]

I have a friend with a vibrating tounge stud! Just thought you'd want to know.

[Siouxie]

hmmm...

[Punkin Poo]

I settle for a vibrating stud.

Preferably a fireman!

[Punkin Poo]

I'd settle, that is....

(me no talk like cave girl)

[Siouxie]

Punkin...you and me both, GF!

Vibrating stud...long hose...every gal's fantasy *eg*

FIRE FIRE!

[blurk]

Let me just say:

bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

[Siouxie]

are you advertising your uh...services Mr. Bzzzzz?

[blurk]

Don't need no advertising. Word of mouth, so to speak.

[Siouxie]

ohh..hmmm...damn!

*ducktapes fingers* NOT gonna say it!

[blurk]

Good idea, Sioux. I think you might make even me blush.

[Siouxie]

ME make YOU blush?? doubt it...but it's just as well :-)

Mary would be proud...

gotta goooooooo ...no time to play!

[Stevie W]

"They said that the vibrating condom would give women a possibility to experience two pleasures simultaneously."

Hell that's why I took up juggling and ventriliquism. Somehow I don't get the desired effect, even when I do both at the same time.

[Stevie W]

*shifts in office chair to get comfy*

--- P-poo (11:58am yesterday).

PIC/VIDEO of P-poo and her comfy office chair:

http://www.jibjab.com/jokebox/jokebox/jibjab/id/129484/jokeid/22452

[Siouxie]

stevie's PP link

*that's Punkin Poo...not stevie's PP*

[Siouxie]

*wants one*

[grant]

I'm glad that our best inventors are working on vibrating condoms and anti-hemroid chairs. I was worried they were trying to find cures for cancer and cars that get 100 miles a gallon. But I can rest assured that I don't have to go a day longer without a vibrating condom on my ***SELF CENSORED*** while sitting on ***AGAIN, GRATUITOUS SELF CENSORING***. Let's get to work on talking to the Nobel prize committee.