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September 04, 2006


Snake in a Cast


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I have never been first. Yea me!!

Hope every one had a good weekend.


He!! if I know... I havne't the foggiest notion what this is about!!

A snake help-line? Next, there will be a squirrel hospital.

Snake Hotline Operator: Snake Hotline, how can I help you?

Caller: Eh, yessss, I'd like to report a misssssing ssssnake.

Snake Hotline Operator: Okay, can you describe the snake in question?

Caller: Yesssss. She's about four years old and was lassst sssseen in the company of a motorssssyclist that I think she intended to run off with,

Snake Hotline Operator: Was she wearing a cast?

Caller: Eh, no.

Snake Hotline Operator: Well, then, no, sorry, we haven't seen her.

Yay for Ray! Who is it who would say "Shot@#$%#%gun!"?

Aren't cobras, like, deadly? Why are they trying to fix them? There aren't enough poisonous snakes in India?

While I'm generally pro-snake, I'm vehemently anti-VENOMOUS snake. Since 'Shotgun' is the immediate knee-jerk response to rattlers... I'm thinking cobras get shotgunned twice.

Perky Operator: "Snake help-line!"

Rural-Sounding Person: "Ah'd like ta report me a dead snake. Look like he been blowed up with a whole mess 'o buckshot." *cock*

Nervous Serpent in Background: "Hiss?"

Well, they apparently take their snakes very seriously in India. Aren't most of the snake stories we see - those that don't involve panicky people trying to route them out of toilets, car doors, etc. - from India and that surrounding area, ie., Asia?

Mallik and three friends have set up a snake helpline, which catches snakes that slither into people’s homes and releases them into the forests... only to have them turn around and slither into people's homes...again.

Good job Mal!

oh and Beppie, the shotgun remark would most likely be from blurk...our resident 'shotgun to critter' expert.

And how, exactly, do you keep the snake from slithering OUT of the cast? It's bad enough trying to keep a cat or dog from pulling its stitches out--and I don't think you can use the same method (the elizabethan collar) on a snake.

Who would call a snake help line?

A snake looking for help?

or a snake attempting to commit ssssnakecide?? maybe this snake jumped slithered in front of a passing car?

Snake in plaster of Paris.

Born free, as free as the road winds
As free as the helpline finds
Born free to follow your heart

Live free, 'cyclists will find you
The world will abhor you
Each time you look at a car

Stay free, where no wheels divide you
You're free as the roaring ride
So you'd better go hide

Born free, and life is worth living
if you can keep giving
that margin of fright

Stay free, where no wheels divide you
You're free as the roaring ride
So you'd better go hide

Born free, and life is worth living
when you can keep giving
that terrible fright

(Free at last, free of a cast ... free ... to go ... and kill again ...)

I say, "Shotgun, shoot it for they run, now."

The Indian government has tried everything from condoms to tv sets in order to curb the population explosion. Maybe this is their last, desparate measure.

Hey, little cobra
Don't you know you're gonna get run down!

I took my cobra down to the track
Half past Puri to the town of Cuttack
Everyone was there just a waitin' to see
There were plenty of Singhs, hey, to x-ray me*.

[Apologies to the two hit wonders, thr Rip Chords]
[* original line: There were plenty of Stingrays and XK-E's]

I'm pro-snake, even with the venomous varieties, unless the snake in question is a direct threat to my safety. They usually aren't, and when I see one in my yard I leave it alone and it goes away.

Our endangered king snakes and indigo snakes eat those poisonous coral snakes and rattlers. Kill the venomous snakes and the good guys lose out on a potential meal. Also, the poisonous snakes are probably helpful in thinning out the squirrel population.

All that notwithstanding, I wouldn't have troubled myself to give medical treatment to a cobra. Those things are just too aggressive and too dangerous. I hope it doesn't go on to kill anyone.


So you want to be in Bhubaneswar
Just listen now to what I say
Just get an eighteen string sitar
And take my advice, just learn to play

And if your snake gets green
You still can make the scene
Rattle your tambourine

[apologies to, well, all the obvious...]



*snork* at steve...

'i'm afraid your pet will never walk again...'

cobras are holy in India, people... along with Big Macs on legs, aka cows


a mild discomfort
vaguely uneasy, cold sweat
The reptile below

You think your life’s weird
While walking through a pet shop
my ass ate a rat

I dare not complain
It could have been worse, you know
Like a porcupine

Weird, werd, OtheU and mud.

Siouxie - Come on! So You Want to be a Rock and Roll Star. The first one tho was more obscure - "Hey, Little Cobra" by the Rip Chords a car song.

I can name that tune in ...

sorry, stevie...must have been the wine blocking my brain cells.

i swear i saw this in Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need, in the section about splinting a snake...

Now, if they tried to splint an Anaconda, maybe it wouldn't have been able to kill that Obnoxious Brit in the Movie......

But why did the little dog have to die???

**Sniff*** and that on top of the fact Steve "Nutcase" Irwin in dead....

EB. Tenderhearted, but not for Venomous Types....

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