WELL, IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE

No, wait, come to think of it, it couldn't have.

(Thanks to Elon Weintraub)

Comments

[Elon Weintraub]

First on my own post?

[Brainy Jello]

There could have been a second bat...

[GoatThumper]

I'm thinking this is a new Fear Factor event: Drowned Bat Tea.

[packsaddle]

echolocation is sooooo overrated.

[PeeJay]

Must have been a British bat. Gotta have their (not they're) tea.

[clark kent]

We get bats in my building now and then. They come from an old abandoned hotel a few blocks away. At dusk, a black cloud erupts from the building's chimney. It's actually pretty cool to watch and they buzz around our back deck and veranda, eating all the mosquitoes.

One will manage to come inside sometimes and then desperately try to get back out. Once the little bugger stops zooming around, I'll catch it and toss it back outside. Haven't found one in my tea yet, but then I'm more of an iced tea drinker and would probably notice...

Even my girlfriend is OK with the bats outside, but she locks herself in the bedroom when one gets inside until I've tossed it back out.

[Brad]

Yes, it could have been worse. If you were the bat.

[Bumble]

"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!
How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a tea-tray in the sky."

Apparently the bat took it literally.

[danceswithvowels]

... the woman probably would have underwent a series of rabies shots. It hurrrtsss us, Preciousss!!!!1!ftw!!!

"Chuck Cipperley" ~ "Click here, Cuppy."

[alienmare]

**snork*** dwv

[Sallyacious]

dwv,

Thank you. I was about to post that same phrase, with the question, "Editors, much?"

How does one get a writing gig if one doesn't know grammar?

[MrBill]

Care for a cup of tea? Anyone.....Anyone? Last Chance?

[Lairbo]

Tea Drinker: Waiter, what's this bat doing in my cup of tea?

Waiter: A fairly spot-on imitation of William Holden at the beginning of Sunset Boulevard, I'd say. That or the "Batusi".

[D. Esker]

Elon Weintraub ==> One Brutal Wine

[Jeff Meyerson]

They didn't say what kind of tea it was. If it was Earl Grey it could only have been an improvement.

[bookworm]

Why is there a bat in my tea?

It was trying to catch the fly.

[CJrun]

*snork* @ packsaddle

[Misty]

Hey. Earl Gray is supposed to mimic whiskey in black tea. I say why mimic, but it's acceptable even at work...

[Beppie]

That is some dam strong tea if you don't notice a dead bat in it. I do know some bats that drink tea, though.

[Siouxie]

We test many, many bats," he said, "but none that have drowned in a cup of tea before."

I'm wondering where the other bats have drowned...

[Wyo Cowboy]

We had one in our living room a couple of weeks ago. See?

[Wyo Cowboy]

He was a little big for a tea cup.

Hi, Sioux, missed you guys.

[Siouxie]

Hi Wyo! I remember that little critter with the bullet hole in the wing...

Been working a lot??

[Wyo Cowboy]

yup. workin workin workin. Gotta go back to work in a coupl of hours, too. no rest for the wicked.

I thought you'd recognize the little critter.

[Wyo Cowboy]

looks like I shoulda bought a vowel.

[rickh]

OMG! bats in Iowa?

there might be more bats in Iowa than people. i was born and raised there and it is the most bat intensive place (outside of like Carlbad Caverns0 i've ever seen. when i was a kid they swarmed out of the church tower (yes, bats in the belfrey0 every summer evening just after sundown. in the city of the dateline (about as far from the location of the story as you can be and still be in Iowa) i lived in 3 seperate bat infested apt. bldgs.

when my 1st wife and i bought a house (escaping from a really beautiful turn of the century duplex that had a large bat colony) we found a drowned bat in the wash machine. the little bastids are everywhere there!

[Wyo Cowboy]

as kids, (when I was a boy...) we'd go out by the street light (there was only one in Shell, Wyo) where the bats were catchin' bugs. We'd tie a lure to about 20 ft. of fishin' line, toss it into the air, and try to snag bats. Once in a while, we'd get one.

That's how kids amused themselves before computers and without tv.

[Wyo Cowboy]

4 8 15 16 23 42 Execute

[suda nim]

Tossing really small pebbles in the air is also a fun way to bait bats. Passed quite a few evenings this way on camping trips. Make sure you're throwing them AWAY from your friends, however. Ooops.

[Cheryl Howard]

WC Lost, in how many days? I'm growing anxious.

[Stevie W]

Maybe Commissioner Gordon was trying out a beta version of Bat Signal 2.0.

[Siouxie]

*zipping in like El*

Cheryl, Lost starts on Wed, Oct 3rd! YAY!! I can't wait either!!

*zips out*

pssst, El...thanks for the use of the zipper

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

I can't think what to say to this.

Except maybe, doesn't this woman ever wash her tea cups?

Did she drowned the bat when she poured the hot water in?

Is it a hellacious big cup, that she could sip from it all day and not see the bottom?

Was it a kamikaze bat performing bats of terrorism?

OK, so I'll just say: poor bat.

[diverdowndoc]

*snork* at Wyo's bat scanner

[stevie "boy wonder" w]

"There could have been a second bat..."

Or, to paraphrase an old joke, it could have been half a bat.

[The end]

As always I find myself wondering.... Wouldn't the tea taste funny? I like to think I would notice a batty flavor in my tea.

[Chaz]

how friggin deep was the cup that she didnt notice it when drinking....I think THIS is the fake story, Mike Walker

[Chaz]

and Wyo....thats just icky

[mudstuffin]

I've told this one before but it bears repeating. In seventh grade I noticed that the head of one of the stuffed bats (there were two)in the biology lab was loose. (I may have helped it). It was a furry little demon head with fangs showing and everything. It was about the size and color of a tater-tot. So at lunch I snuck the bat head unto my friend's plate among his tater tots. He actually stabbed the bat head with his plastic fork before his eyes bugged out and he didn't speak to me for a week.

[Val]

Why couldn't this lady just have bats in her belfry like everybody else!

[Betsy]

Re size of the mug (not that it makes any difference): I assume this lady belongs to the school that keeps adding hot water to the same tired teabags (or bats) all day.

[DaveTheRed]

LOL you scanned a bat!! Wyo, that's great. Just when I thought I had used my printer/scanner/copier for everything I could, you came up with a new use. I had to show that one to my wife, she wasn't quite as amused as I was.

[stevie w]

"I snuck the bat head unto my friend's plate among his tater tots."

Mud,

By any chance did you grow up to run the food service program at my kids' school?

[casey]

I love bats. Mind you, I dont want them in my tea or my house, but they are my favorite of all the bugs in the world.

[Wyo Cowboy]

Glad to be of some service, DaveTheRed.

You'll never know what you can do 'til you try.

[stevie w]

"I love bats. Mind you, I dont want them in my tea or my house, but they are my favorite of all the bugs in the world."

Of course you do. Casey at the Bat.

Ha ha ha ha ha oy.

[Wyo Cowboy]

*snork* stevie (and Calvin)

Maybe bats are bugs!

Calvin: Oh, like I'm going to learn about bats and THEN write a report? Give me a break!
Calvin: Bats are bugs.
Hobbes; All we have is one 'fact' you made up.
Calvin: Besides, I've got a secret weapon that will GUARANTEE me a good grade! No teacher can resist THIS! A clear plastic binder! Pretty professional looking, eh?
Hobbes: I don't want co-author credit on this, OK?

[Clean Hands]

Good morning, Italic Cowboy! :-D

[Clean Hands]

Or was that Emphatic Cowboy? Sheesh.

[Edgar Greenberg]

Clean Hands, I see Wyo left you momentarily speechless.

[Olo Baggins of Bywater]

The batbag lady needs one of these.

[Clean Hands]

Olo, does that work on bats that have been made into tea? Or maybe it transmits in Batese, "Stay out of the teacups, for the love of Dog!"

[casey]

Wyo, do you keep a handy dandy Calvin & Hobbes reference book right beside your keyboard? My favorite of all is when Calvin tries to make his butt light up like a lightening bug.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

I think this requires a warning of some sort...

Bat soup I've heard of. Never bat tea.

[casey]

Didn't the mighty Casey strike out? Story of my life...I can completely relate.

[Chaz]

my fav is when Hobbs is giving calvin a haircut...and goes "oops".....

because something similar happened to me

[Clean Hands]

Not sure I'm nuts about the idea of stewing any animal uneviscerated - sounds like an invitation to e. coli to join you at the supper table.

Eviscerated bats would be my culinary recommendation, as well as being AGNFARG.

[DaveTheRed]

Where Calvin says, "I don't even know what muscle to flex". lol

[Clean Hands]

So I guess the blog is sleeping in this morning? Or was there another earthquake in Florida? (I note that our Florida regulars seem to be MIA, too...)

Funny thing is, check the gazzetteonline website, and you can't find the story. Even the Sioux City paper only references the See da Rabbits Gazzette.

(The other funny thing is you have to search for search before you can search for brown bat.)

[Siouxie]

what??

[Siouxie]

oooooo a simul with The Phantom of the Blog!!!

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

The transmogrifier was my favorite. I so wish Bill had not retired.

Another warning...
Bat tartare?

[Siouxie]

How ruuuuude of me...

Good morning bloglorodites!!

[Meanie the Blue]

Will the Caped Crusader escape from this tannic trap? Find out next week, same bat time, same bat channel!

[Next week]

Hmmmmm. Guess not.

[DaveTheRed]

Well, maybe I don't count as a regular yet.

[Clean Hands]

Good morning, Siouxie!!

Chris, this second ref to bat soup does seem to confirm the use of uneviscerated bats... most emphatically uneviscerated, in this case.

I'd say that soup is probably the most sensible thing to make with bats, as their meat is liable to be VERY tough - think of an old chicken, whose leg and wing muscles have been well-developed through long use.

Too, as small creatures, making a soup with the whole bat is probably the very easiest way to debone the meat. I'd still prefer to see at least the intestinal system removed prior to cooking, though.

[Clean Hands]

No slight intended, DavetheRed! I was previously ignorant of your geographical location... my apologies.

[wench]

For Wyo and the rest of the Calvin fans:

Calvin: Hello, Susie? This is Calvin. You know this report we're supposed to write for school? Yeah. My topic is bats. What's yours? Elephants? Hmm. Well, are you going to the library to look up elephants? You are? Great! While you're there, could you research bats too and make copies of all the information you find, and maybe underline the important parts for me and sort of outline it, so I wouldn't have to read it all?
Hobbes: How'd it go?
Calvin: I really loathe girls.

[Wyo Cowboy]

sorry I'm not able to keep up this morning, too much goin' on it seems. Miss you all.

Thanks, wench.

[The Dread Pirate Chris]

The large Fruit bats are 40 cm (16 inches) long and have a wingspan of 150 cm (5 feet). These giants are almost 1 kg (more than 2 pounds) in weight.

I'd think those could be cleaned. They would also be hard to miss in a cuppa tea.

[Siouxie]

DavetheRed, I was also unaware of your location. I'm always happy to see fellow Floridians here on the blog. Perhaps you should consider sending Wyo a pic/bio for the booger page...?

Reminds me of when I started [email protected] thing everyone would ask.. a/s/l???

[Siouxie]

Wyo??? how are the wedding plans coming along???

[mudstuffin]

bat chain puller, puller puller

a chain with yellow lights that glistens like oil beads
on it's smooth slick trunk
that trails behind on tracks and thumps
a wing hangs limp and retrieves

bat chain puller, puller puller
bulbs shoot from it's snoot and vanish into darkness
it whistles like a root snatched from dry earth
sod bustin' rakes with grey dust claws
announces it's coming in the morning

bat chain puller, puller puller
this train with grey tubes that houses people's thoughts, their very remains and belongings
a grey cloth patch caught with four threads
in the hollow wind of it's stacks
ripples felt fades and grey sparks clacks
lunge into cushion thickets
pumplins span the hills with orange crayola patches
green inflated trees balloon up into marshmallow soot
that walks away in faulty circles caught in grey blisters
with twinkling lights and green sashes
drawn by rubber dolphins with closed yawning mouths that blister and break in agony in souls of rust
they gild gold sawdust into dust
bat chain puller, puller puller

- Captain Beefheart

[The Angry Republican]

This whole bat thing is freaking me out. It is becoming an epidemic.

Just last week a guy from Brokenface- Ohio found a bat in his peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Come on people.. We must do something..!!

I realize bats eat bugs and we humans hate bugs. But today, we have all kinds of toxic- somewhat highly unstable- liquid bug killers. What do we need bats for..??

I have come up with a slogan, which I think will help people remember our plight.

It goes like this…

Bye,bye- you stupid bats. Fuzzy little winged rats.

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