SNAKES ON PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING

Here is more from the KIFI Local News 8 Team, which remains perky in the face of the mass snake-itude.

Comments

[mudstuffin]

Every Breath You Take

Every breath I take
Every move I make
Every bond I break
Every step I take
Ill be clutching you

Every single day
Every word I say
Every game I play
Every night I stay
Ill be clutching you

Oh, cant you see
You belong to me
my poor butt snake
there is no escape

Every move you make
a couple ribs I’ll break
Every smile you fake
make no mistake
Ill be clutching you

Since you’ve chosen to invade my private place
I decided to keep you you waste of space
you try to leave but your steps you can’t retrace
your cold-blooded but I give you a warm embrace
and keep applying the peristaltic squeeze...

Oh, cant you see
You belong to me
my poor butt snake
there is no escape

Every move you make
a couple ribs I’ll break
Every smile you fake
make no mistake
Ill be clutching you

Every move you make
my dear butt snake
Ill be clutching you

[wench]

the seller offered to refund their money when he found out about the infestation.
======

well, that sure is kind of them

[Clean Hands]

Jeeze, mud, do you have a collection of these all written and ready to fire upon "need?"

[mudstuffin]

Yep. Gotta be ready.

I can smell a wood fire though I cannot see the smoke
quietly along a stone path among sycamores and oak.
The wind sifts through the branches and softly the wood sings
of fallen leaves and nuts, a crunching orchestra of strings.
In the distance light flickers from the window of my friend
my spirit swells within me as my journey nears an end.
A pause to shift the burden from left shoulder to the right
Some clothes, some shoes, a corkscrew and a bottle of delight.
I walk a little faster now as I see the sun hang low
And the moon shines in counterpoint to field of pumpkins below.

A good friend is forever and this one’s better than most
We’ll hug and joke about our gray hairs and then we’ll raise a toast
To friendship, long life and the years that oh, so quickly passed
Then he’ll laugh himself hoarse about the snake that’s in my ass

[Meanie the Blue]

I wonder if they're expecting many trick-or-treaters this year.

[mudstuffin]

(It's been a few days)

[Siouxie]

DAYAM mud, that was almost a preemptive strike on the snake...

[Clean Hands]

"Reptiles are a protected species..."

Say, what? Reptilia is a class, not a species. And garter snakes form a whole genus, representing a number of species.

[vanityball]

The snakes must be watching the news too and getting their weather reports for the latest hibernation news from the VIPIR weather radar.

[Clean Hands]

Looks like what they meant to say was "The reptiles are a protected species...," and some damnfool editor screwed it up.

[Siouxie]

CH, I'm just having a problem with the fact that snakes ARE protected...class, species, genus, fungus...who cares!

[Clean Hands]

Tragic taxonomic illiteracy rears its ugly head yet again... don't they teach any science in j-school anymore? (Or economics, or history?)

[lance]

The only species left in America that isn't protected is insideous "right wing Christian".

[Punkin Poo]

I say, just incorporate the snakes into your home decorating scheme. They make lovely drawer pulls and curtain tie-backs....

[Clean Hands]

Pity they're protected -- I bet you could make a great soup with them.

[Eleanor]

I'm with Siouxie here - ick!

[Brainy Jello]

CH - good catch! Right on.

Turns out the property was a winter snake sanctuary, likely a snake den or hibernaculum where snakes gather in large numbers to hibernate for the winter.

Surreal. Truely bizairre.

[Clean Hands]

Hmmm. I didn't know that snakes could grow mullets.

[The end]

"the seller offered to refund their money when he found out about the infestation."

I find it hilarious that the property owner would even suggest that he or she was unaware of the fact that there was a giant "ball" of snakes hibernating in the home prior to selling.

[puppytoes]

aieeee! and in case you didn't hear me the first time... AIEEEEEE!!!

[Kathybear]

I believe the ball of snakes was a "big ball of dead snakes in the basement". Not that a big bal of dead snakes is any better than live ones... Shudder....

[OkieDokie]

sounds like they need an exorcist (or possibly a nuclear bomb) to me.

[Kathybear]

Toss an l up there to make that a big ball of dead snakes redux

[ScottMGS]

CH - That's snake-headed mullets not mullet-headed snakes. I'm thinking they look like Medusa.

[Clean Hands]

Ohhh, okay; my error. I'll keep looking for a good snake soup recipe...

[insomniac]

The guy who sold out to L. Hepworth
Was the eagerest seller on Earth
Most buyers recoil from
a hibernaculum
And give balls o' snakes a wide berth!

[muffles]

Did anyone else notice that a member of the perky news team looks like she was Photshopped© in?

♫Which one of these
is not like the other...♫

[muffles]

oopsy poopsy, add an "o" to make that "Photoshopped". I thought that looked weird

[Mrs. Wheezer]

This story, for whatever reason, makes my teeth hurt! Probably from all the chattering.

[Stevie W]

Lyman Hepworth.

Frankie Lyman and the Teen-agers dated Audrey Hepburn and Rita Hayworth? (Dumb, I know. The name is just so damm interesting).

[MisterFweem]

I hope Jay Hildebrandt (perky newscaster to the far left) had on his hip boots when he read the story. (I'm a local. The only time I've ever spotted J.H. in person was when he was in his front yard, in his newscaster suit and a pair of hip waders, watering one of his trees. Seeing that kind of thing just takes the magic out of the local news. . .