SNAKES ON PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING
Here is more from the KIFI Local News 8 Team, which remains perky in the face of the mass snake-itude.
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Here is more from the KIFI Local News 8 Team, which remains perky in the face of the mass snake-itude.
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Every Breath You Take
Every breath I take
Every move I make
Every bond I break
Every step I take
Ill be clutching you
Every single day
Every word I say
Every game I play
Every night I stay
Ill be clutching you
Oh, cant you see
You belong to me
my poor butt snake
there is no escape
Every move you make
a couple ribs I’ll break
Every smile you fake
make no mistake
Ill be clutching you
Since you’ve chosen to invade my private place
I decided to keep you you waste of space
you try to leave but your steps you can’t retrace
your cold-blooded but I give you a warm embrace
and keep applying the peristaltic squeeze...
Oh, cant you see
You belong to me
my poor butt snake
there is no escape
Every move you make
a couple ribs I’ll break
Every smile you fake
make no mistake
Ill be clutching you
Every move you make
my dear butt snake
Ill be clutching you
Posted by: mudstuffin | September 27, 2006 at 11:01 AM
the seller offered to refund their money when he found out about the infestation.
======
well, that sure is kind of them
Posted by: wench | September 27, 2006 at 11:01 AM
Jeeze, mud, do you have a collection of these all written and ready to fire upon "need?"
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 27, 2006 at 11:02 AM
Yep. Gotta be ready.
I can smell a wood fire though I cannot see the smoke
quietly along a stone path among sycamores and oak.
The wind sifts through the branches and softly the wood sings
of fallen leaves and nuts, a crunching orchestra of strings.
In the distance light flickers from the window of my friend
my spirit swells within me as my journey nears an end.
A pause to shift the burden from left shoulder to the right
Some clothes, some shoes, a corkscrew and a bottle of delight.
I walk a little faster now as I see the sun hang low
And the moon shines in counterpoint to field of pumpkins below.
A good friend is forever and this one’s better than most
We’ll hug and joke about our gray hairs and then we’ll raise a toast
To friendship, long life and the years that oh, so quickly passed
Then he’ll laugh himself hoarse about the snake that’s in my ass
Posted by: mudstuffin | September 27, 2006 at 11:04 AM
I wonder if they're expecting many trick-or-treaters this year.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | September 27, 2006 at 11:04 AM
(It's been a few days)
Posted by: mudstuffin | September 27, 2006 at 11:05 AM
DAYAM mud, that was almost a preemptive strike on the snake...
Posted by: Siouxie | September 27, 2006 at 11:06 AM
"Reptiles are a protected species..."
Say, what? Reptilia is a class, not a species. And garter snakes form a whole genus, representing a number of species.
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 27, 2006 at 11:07 AM
The snakes must be watching the news too and getting their weather reports for the latest hibernation news from the VIPIR weather radar.
Posted by: vanityball | September 27, 2006 at 11:08 AM
Looks like what they meant to say was "The reptiles are a protected species...," and some damnfool editor screwed it up.
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 27, 2006 at 11:09 AM
CH, I'm just having a problem with the fact that snakes ARE protected...class, species, genus, fungus...who cares!
Posted by: Siouxie | September 27, 2006 at 11:10 AM
Tragic taxonomic illiteracy rears its ugly head yet again... don't they teach any science in j-school anymore? (Or economics, or history?)
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 27, 2006 at 11:13 AM
The only species left in America that isn't protected is insideous "right wing Christian".
Posted by: lance | September 27, 2006 at 11:14 AM
I say, just incorporate the snakes into your home decorating scheme. They make lovely drawer pulls and curtain tie-backs....
Posted by: Punkin Poo | September 27, 2006 at 11:20 AM
Pity they're protected -- I bet you could make a great soup with them.
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 27, 2006 at 11:23 AM
I'm with Siouxie here - ick!
Posted by: Eleanor | September 27, 2006 at 11:24 AM
CH - good catch! Right on.
Turns out the property was a winter snake sanctuary, likely a snake den or hibernaculum where snakes gather in large numbers to hibernate for the winter.
Surreal. Truely bizairre.
Posted by: Brainy Jello | September 27, 2006 at 11:28 AM
Hmmm. I didn't know that snakes could grow mullets.
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 27, 2006 at 11:34 AM
"the seller offered to refund their money when he found out about the infestation."
I find it hilarious that the property owner would even suggest that he or she was unaware of the fact that there was a giant "ball" of snakes hibernating in the home prior to selling.
Posted by: The end | September 27, 2006 at 11:40 AM
aieeee! and in case you didn't hear me the first time... AIEEEEEE!!!
Posted by: puppytoes | September 27, 2006 at 12:19 PM
I believe the ball of snakes was a "big ball of dead snakes in the basement". Not that a big bal of dead snakes is any better than live ones... Shudder....
Posted by: Kathybear | September 27, 2006 at 12:40 PM
sounds like they need an exorcist (or possibly a nuclear bomb) to me.
Posted by: OkieDokie | September 27, 2006 at 12:40 PM
Toss an l up there to make that a big ball of dead snakes redux
Posted by: Kathybear | September 27, 2006 at 12:41 PM
CH - That's snake-headed mullets not mullet-headed snakes. I'm thinking they look like Medusa.
Posted by: ScottMGS | September 27, 2006 at 01:33 PM
Ohhh, okay; my error. I'll keep looking for a good snake soup recipe...
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 27, 2006 at 01:34 PM
The guy who sold out to L. Hepworth
Was the eagerest seller on Earth
Most buyers recoil from
a hibernaculum
And give balls o' snakes a wide berth!
Posted by: insomniac | September 27, 2006 at 01:55 PM
Did anyone else notice that a member of the perky news team looks like she was Photshopped© in?
♫Which one of these
is not like the other...♫
Posted by: muffles | September 27, 2006 at 03:21 PM
oopsy poopsy, add an "o" to make that "Photoshopped". I thought that looked weird
Posted by: muffles | September 27, 2006 at 03:37 PM
This story, for whatever reason, makes my teeth hurt! Probably from all the chattering.
Posted by: Mrs. Wheezer | September 27, 2006 at 05:14 PM
Lyman Hepworth.
Frankie Lyman and the Teen-agers dated Audrey Hepburn and Rita Hayworth? (Dumb, I know. The name is just so damm interesting).
Posted by: Stevie W | September 28, 2006 at 01:16 AM
I hope Jay Hildebrandt (perky newscaster to the far left) had on his hip boots when he read the story. (I'm a local. The only time I've ever spotted J.H. in person was when he was in his front yard, in his newscaster suit and a pair of hip waders, watering one of his trees. Seeing that kind of thing just takes the magic out of the local news. . .
Posted by: MisterFweem | September 28, 2006 at 09:56 AM