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September 06, 2006

PUT ON YOUR THINKING CAPS

Alert blog reader Shawn Morris thinks the blog should help Katie Couric come up with a sign-off slogan. Let's all pitch in! Here are some ideas to get you started:

And that's all the news we could fit into 30 minutes minus the laxative and denture-adhesive commercials, America.

Now it's time to watch Simpsons reruns, America.

This is Katie Couric, saying, "This is Katie Couric."

This blog is sure you can do better.

UPDATE: I just read the comments, and I just want to say: Whoa. In a good way. Mostly.

Comments

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This is Katie Couric saying, "Anchors Aweigh!"

This is Katie Couric saying, "Please tell the makeup people to only use one ton on me tomorrow night. Two is so over-the-top!"

This is Katie Couric saying, "Boogers!"

How about stay classy America?

This is Katie Couric saying, "Death to the infidels!"

How about "Perky is not my middle name. Good night."

My suggestion:
"This is Katie Couric, who looks 20 pounds fatter because the $&%@#-ing graphics artists in the CBS art department can't figure out a $&#$*@#@#-ing way to make me look thinner while I'm on the air...they can only do it in print! PRINT! HA, I say....HAH!

Hey, George, your name is George, right? Sorry, Paul...get me another bottle of bourbon, this puppy's done for the night."

Oh, Ron! I had no idea you'd be here!

"Hey, Matt and Al and Ann! Thhhhhhhppppppbbttt!!!!

How about...This is Katie Couric with the 40 extra pounds, America...

"And that's the News......Now...Wanna see Americas cutie pie naked?"

“This is Katie Couric saying: Stop trying to make me laugh, I’m supposed to be serious now.”

" I am not Corky Sherwood, Good Night America.

I'm Katie Couric and you're not...

Siouxie: Neener! 8)

I forgot a Quote mark, Gorrammit.

how about God Save The Queen?

This is Katie Couric continuing the Dan Blather traditon.

psychic simul even, tropic!! neener back atcha!!

Dang, JOG, me too! I bet the snake ate them.

Why not be honest???
How about...

"Just the news we decided to tell you, with our own prejudices thrown in for good measure"

“This is Katie Couric and I got a full night’s sleep.”

"...and that's all you get."

a musical rendition of a Gaelic blessing.

A triple on my first post in over a year!!!
Boy, I should do this more often!

Was it good for you ladies?

LBFF - Har!

"This is Katie Couric, I poop in a bag"

"I am Katie Couric and you wish you were, Pbblpt!"

"This is Katie Couric, and I just went"

"Where's my intern?"

"Somebody light a match"

This is Katie Couric, Goodnight America....

*is this thing ON??? no?? ok...GOD I NEED TO PEE!!**

Ooo! Oooo! I got another one!

"This is Katie Couric. Reminding you to get your colorectal exam regularly, like I am right now!"

Or...

"I'm Katie Couric, reminding you to not forget to spay or neuter your kids! Goodnight, everybody!"

"...maybe it was all a bad dream."

th-th-th-th-that's all, folks!

"When we play "balls on a sticky cap" in the back room , I'm always the one who has the most balls. Until next time America!"

"...and that's my final answer."

...And now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Or...."I'm Katie Couric and I'm choc-o-lish-us."

Tune in tomorrow for the conclusion of this exciting episode!

*Oh, yay, a "har!" from KDF! High five!*

...and remember America to send me your feedback on my outfits!
SMOOCH!

"...now with 25% less fat."

"Woof, woof!" hehehehehe "Woof!"

I'm Katie Couric and ...does this inflated ego make my butt look big????

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!

"I'm Katie Couric. Why are you getting your news here when you could be getting on the Blog."

And that's the news fo' shizzle

"I'm Katie Couric, good night. What's that buzzing sound? And who's Punkin?"

So long and thank's for all the fish.

This is Katie Couric saying I'm watching you.
That's our show, now scram!

This is Katie Couric, I'm a gazillionaire and you're not...Sweet Dreams little people of America...

"I'm Katie Couric, and you shouldn't mess with the teleprompter guy because he'll make you look like an a$$ on national televi... whaaat?"

SNORK at everyone!

Come to think of it, that would make a good sign-off, too.

"that was so bitchin'"

"I can't feel my lips."

"And that's the news, now who's got a Percocet?"

"In space, no-one can hear you scream"

Geezer reference: "G'night, Chet" "G'night, Dave"

"I'm Katie Couric... Tune In, Turn On, and Drop Out."

"I'm Katie Couric, good night and get bent."

"Thanks for watching, and shame on America for allowing the cancellation of Arrested Development."

Yeah, I got issues with that. Does it still count at on-topic?

"Here's yours, Gumbel!"

"...and that's all the news that's fit to fabricate."

"I'm Katie Couric, good night and get a life."

"Partaaaaaay!

This is Katie Couric and I'm bigger than Barbara Walters now... Yo Babs???neener neener!

I'm Katie Couric, and I swear I am not making this up."

"And thus, reporting has juet stooped to a lower low (curtsies). Good nite."

"I'm Katie Couric. Goodnight. You can turn your TV off now since there's nothing else worth watching."

"and that's all you need to know for now"

This is katie Couric saying stay tuned for our our exciting infomercials coming up next. Im serious you touch that remote and you're FREAKING DEAD. DEAD YOU HEAR ME?

BLURK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Here I am half-sh!t-faced in Bermuda, just come back from the pink sand beach to put a ton of ice cream on my scalding sunburn, and what do I log on to see???? A BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ remark!!!

Thanks, man....it's good to be remembered....I am SO wasted......

Just went to the ship's libbe, lybrer, libbbbb...book lender to get a book to stare at read while I sit on the Lido deck with Gopher and Capn' Stewbeef......I picked out "Tricky Business" by Dave somebody....

Ok.....off to puke over the side....I'll think of y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's 'just' up there, just so ya know.

Good night from the whitest teeth in the cosmos.

"And then there's the whole penis thing. Good night."

Ice cream on your sunburn? That's gonna be sticky.

Brainy, I feel your pain about Arrested Development.

You've got to say, 'I'm a HUMAN BEING, Goddamnit! My life has VALUE!' So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell, 'I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!'

snork @ pogo

"Yo DJ Z take me out! Full Effect!"

"Word to your mother"

Hey ya'lls...this is Kaddie *hic*...uhm...Goodnight and *hic* have a drink sober tomorrow...*hic*

"See if you can guess what I am now. I'm a zit - get it?"

Amen Brainy and Betsi.

"I don't care if you ARE mad as hell. You'll take it and like it!"

This is Katie Couric saying where's my paycheck?

BLURK!!!!!!!

(I'm not callin' ya, Buddy.....I'm just stink-faced here in Bermuda and that was the sound that just came out!)

I miss you guys!! I am SO burnt - just came to get some ice cream to roll around in.

Hey - they have a special drink on the boat called the "Helmut of Beer" They fill a frikkin football helmut with beer for 19.99! (hic) Hooray for our team!! (Whoever they are!)

Just got a book from the ship's librer, libbb, libeerrr, book lender - "Tricky Business" by some guy named Dave....

Ok....must go do the technicolor yawn over the side....will shout "This one's for the blog! And Katie Couric!" before I toss em...

see ya!!

Esther - *High five* Yeah, I honsetly didn't see your post before hand. Good thinkin'.

That's the news. This is Hillary Clinton, wishing you a good night.

A hearty *SNORK* and "Well Done!" to all!

Still straining for my brilliant flash.

"This is Katie signing off and kiss my @ss dan!!"

I'm Katie Couric, and I don't have a clue.

"Another day, another $72,115."

I think Punkin has had just a few.
Hurry back!!

Thanks for tuning in and stuff. BUH-bye.

Well, at least we can say, it went out before it ever jumped the shark.

I once ran into the kid who plays George Michael in the Olive Garden. I told him I loved his show and he thanked me.
Tony Hale (plays Buster) came and spoke to my class a couple of years ago. He is a really cool guy (and definitely not anything like his character). He's in a movie starring Will Ferrell, Stranger Than Fiction, that comes out this fall. I saw a pre-screen a few months ago and loved it.

"This is Katie Couric and I did Matt Lauer on Oprah's couch"

Brainy - that is even better!!
Great minds...

Jeff - *applause* for the Animal House sign-off.

"Before I sign off, just let me say...Dave Barry For President! Now get out of here, you knuckleheads!"

"I'm Katie Couric. Thanks for watching The Dating Game. Okay everybody, you ready to blow the big kiss? *MMMMWWWWAAAAHHHH!*

Aw, poor Punkin. To come join us bloggers when you're seeing double -- that's dedication!

"This is Katie Couric.... digging down deep ..... to get to the bottom....to stay on top."

Heeeyyy Punkin' they have that much ice cream?

"Face it Punkin, you threw up on Dean Wormer."

This is Katie Couric saying... Hey! GET OUT OF MY DRSSING ROOM.

"I'm cleaning my oven as we speak."

Thank you Brainy!
I can't believe it took that long for somebody to say it...
-ME

"I'm Katie Couric, and I swear I am not making this up."

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