ATTENTION, MEN SUFFERING FROM...YOU KNOW
Be sure to check with your doctor for appropriate treatment.
(Thanks to Lee Allen)
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Be sure to check with your doctor for appropriate treatment.
(Thanks to Lee Allen)
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OWWWWWWWWWWW
Posted by: Juggler of Geese | September 15, 2006 at 12:12 PM
pr*cks in his pr*ck? no way
Posted by: cyn | September 15, 2006 at 12:13 PM
Of course, how does one have sex with a teeny tiny hedgehog. Or how undersized is the guy.
Posted by: Juggler of Geese | September 15, 2006 at 12:13 PM
Okay, I read the first paragraph/sentence and started crying with laughter. It took a while to compose myself long enough to read the rest of the article.
I feel sorry for the hedgehog though. And anyone who inherits the genes this man is carrying. (Unless a Darwin award is in order. We can only hope).
Posted by: KOW | September 15, 2006 at 12:14 PM
That does it.
I am no longer clicking on links posted by this blog. That made me shrivel up so bad, I don't know if I'll ever recover.
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 15, 2006 at 12:14 PM
This guy will probably be badgered for the rest of his life about this..
Posted by: Sean | September 15, 2006 at 12:16 PM
See, if I'd been paying attention, I would have noticed the YELLOW FOR CAUTION note.
I will henceforth pay attention.
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 15, 2006 at 12:16 PM
LMAO ohhhhhhhh ohhhhh
ok ok...sorry guys...it is NOT funny!! NO WAY!
*SNORK*
Posted by: Siouxie | September 15, 2006 at 12:17 PM
see, this is why proper grooming is essential
Posted by: 24 | September 15, 2006 at 12:18 PM
You guys are all missing the point (sorry 'bout that):
The cure worked!
I'm pretty sure 'never again' is considered about as far from 'premature' as you can get, right?
Posted by: KCSteve | September 15, 2006 at 12:18 PM
SNORK SNORK SNORK
and I will not even ask how this is anatomically possible.
Posted by: Betsi | September 15, 2006 at 12:19 PM
The article does not say how the man performed with the hedgehog - did he encounter the same premature issue?
Posted by: 24 | September 15, 2006 at 12:19 PM
I don't know who said it, but "With a little patience and a lot of saliva the elephant deflowered the gnat...."
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 15, 2006 at 12:23 PM
Premature emasculation?
Posted by: Punkin Poo | September 15, 2006 at 12:23 PM
Okay, I know. That was over the line. I'll go sit quietly and listen to my earworms now. I deserve 'em.
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 15, 2006 at 12:24 PM
In other p.e. news, today the FDA announced that it would not approve an anti-depressant that would remedy the situation: http://health.msn.com/centers/mensexualhealth/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100144455>1=8562
Somehow, I believe that hedgehogs are safe from American male pursuers.
JoG, perhaps Serbian female (assuming it was a female) hedgehogs are not as, how should I put this... tightly wrapped.
This dude is yet one more t-rrifc of John Phillipe Rushton's hypothesis!
Posted by: estrogen centrale | September 15, 2006 at 12:24 PM
How does one go about obtaining a hedgehog for sex? " Pardon sir, I could not help but admire your handsome Hedgehog... I have note from doctor would like you for to read.."
Posted by: Sean | September 15, 2006 at 12:24 PM
Who's got a smoke?
Posted by: Sonic | September 15, 2006 at 12:26 PM
Witchdoctor: Take two hedgehogs and call me in the morning???
Posted by: Siouxie | September 15, 2006 at 12:28 PM
EC - no kidding.
Anyone who attempts sex with a HEDGEHOG deserves whatever he gets. Including an article in the newspaper and every blogger on earth making fun of him.
Posted by: OkieDokie | September 15, 2006 at 12:29 PM
Oh, no, Siouxie. TWO hedgehogs would be too much for anyone.
Well, maybe not Richard Gere.
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 15, 2006 at 12:30 PM
LOL
Meanieuh...I mean Sonic!Posted by: Siouxie | September 15, 2006 at 12:30 PM
"the animal was apparently unhurt" snork
Posted by: OkieDokie | September 15, 2006 at 12:30 PM
it's amazing what you can get a man to do.
Posted by: crossgirl | September 15, 2006 at 12:31 PM
I have nothing to say about this.
Posted by: Schadeboy | September 15, 2006 at 12:33 PM
I'll bet the hedgehogs name was sonic...he looked pasive enough in the video game...
Posted by: Chaz | September 15, 2006 at 12:34 PM
*still NOT laughing HYSTERICALLY*
Posted by: Siouxie | September 15, 2006 at 12:36 PM
Thats the kind of advice you get from a HMO Witch doctor. Time to upgrade the medical plan.
Posted by: RichC | September 15, 2006 at 12:37 PM
Sex with a Hedgehog? I said, " It affects with your sledge clogged!" Duh.
Posted by: Sean | September 15, 2006 at 12:40 PM
I'd like to know where this witch doctor got his degree
Posted by: Brian | September 15, 2006 at 12:41 PM
RichC
You're right. If he had gone to the PPO witchdoctor, he would have been sent to a skunk. Less pain, but same result - no one would want this idiot.
Posted by: estrogen centrale | September 15, 2006 at 12:41 PM
Strikes out again. Story of my life.....
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | September 15, 2006 at 12:42 PM
There once was an idgit from Serbia,
Who needed help with prematurbia,
The Witch Doc advised,
"Hedgehog ass, large size,
And I hope the pricks do not perturb ya"
Posted by: Lamely, Punkin Poo | September 15, 2006 at 12:42 PM
OMG no way, i cannot imagine how this is even physically possible. Because I was not sure what a hedgehog really was i looked it up and they are very small animals.
Posted by: DavetheRed | September 15, 2006 at 12:43 PM
*snork* Punkin
Posted by: Siouxie | September 15, 2006 at 12:44 PM
Geeze, whatever happened to eye of newt and wing of bat? These new age wackos take the cake.
Posted by: Sean | September 15, 2006 at 12:44 PM
It stikes me that witch doctoring must come from some profound sadistic impulses, or some particularly odd bar bets...
"I'll bet you I can get this guy to..."
Posted by: Brian | September 15, 2006 at 12:45 PM
........"Men are more intelligent than women, claims new study"....I can't believe I had to go back and read this again to see if anything actually makes sense about it.....
Posted by: NewLoneStarLady | September 15, 2006 at 12:46 PM
http://www.multinet.no/~trojen/australia/images/australia%20-%20outback%20hedgehog.jpg
That is all.
Posted by: morty | September 15, 2006 at 12:46 PM
On the bright side, Neuteronomy 23 doesn't say anything about hedgehog needles.
Posted by: Christobol | September 15, 2006 at 12:48 PM
Really, morty, is the hedgehog pr0n necessary?
*snork*
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 15, 2006 at 12:48 PM
Oh, yeah, lazy linky thing.
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 15, 2006 at 12:49 PM
More along the same general lines.
Posted by: xmnr | September 15, 2006 at 12:50 PM
I am too dumbfounded to even respond to this.
Dumb being the operative word.
Posted by: blurk | September 15, 2006 at 12:50 PM
*wondering if Richard Gere was anywhere NEAR Serbia at the time*
Posted by: Siouxie | September 15, 2006 at 12:50 PM
ew...really??? I'll take your word for it CH.
Posted by: Betsi | September 15, 2006 at 12:50 PM
Did he have neddles on his face, too?
Just wondering how demanding hedgehogs are in the foreplay dept. Um, for a paper I'm doing.
Posted by: Christobol | September 15, 2006 at 12:51 PM
hmmmm 4-way - Thanks!!! :)
Posted by: Siouxie | September 15, 2006 at 12:52 PM
*SNORK* @ xmnr
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 15, 2006 at 12:52 PM
Sometimes those prescriptions are really hard to read.
and a spiny *snork* @ c'bol.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | September 15, 2006 at 12:52 PM
Still laughing and cringing at the same time.....
Posted by: DavetheRed | September 15, 2006 at 12:52 PM
I dunno, Annie - those guys are so scary looking, one can understand why the fellow would have interpreted it the way he did.
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 15, 2006 at 12:54 PM
Another 4-way, Siouxie! Getting tired yet?
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 15, 2006 at 12:55 PM
Is the Hedge Hog named Dinsdale.
Posted by: Juggler of Geese | September 15, 2006 at 12:55 PM
And the robot challenged me with "zzz4sn" on that post... zzzznork?
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 15, 2006 at 12:55 PM
woooooooozie! I'm on top too!!
Posted by: Siouxie | September 15, 2006 at 12:56 PM
I'm guessing the witch doctor wasn't serious - probably went something like this:
Small, Poorly Performing Dick Guy: And so, before I can get my pants down, boom!
Witch Doctor: Okay, what you need to do is discipline yourself. You must concentrate on your lover's needs, and think only about her. You should focus on sexual touching that does not bring you too much excitement, and take things slowly. If necessary, ask your lover not to touch your tiny pen!s.
SPPDG: You can't be serious!
Witch Doctor: Well, you could always go f$%k a hedgehog!
SPPDG: Hmmmmmm...
Posted by: Christobol | September 15, 2006 at 12:57 PM
*snork* c-bol!
Posted by: 24 | September 15, 2006 at 12:59 PM
All right Lone star!
It occurs to me that the witch doctor just didn't like this guy.
Ahh the power of the title, let's see what can I make this schlmeel do...
Posted by: morgana | September 15, 2006 at 12:59 PM
*schnork* @ C-bol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Punkin Poo | September 15, 2006 at 01:00 PM
*snork* @ C-bol!!!!
Posted by: Siouxie | September 15, 2006 at 01:01 PM
Something tells me that this witch doctor was a woman of the female variety. Maybe even the "patient's" spurned ex.
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 15, 2006 at 01:02 PM
From the way she was dressed, the hedgehog deserved what she got.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | September 15, 2006 at 01:02 PM
not just snork @c-bol, but ROFLMAOASTC
Posted by: estrogen centrale | September 15, 2006 at 01:04 PM
Do you think the hedge hog got a movie & dinner first?
Posted by: estrogen centrale | September 15, 2006 at 01:06 PM
It seems unlikely, ec. The "patient" might have caught on to the problem when he tried to cop a feel during the movie.
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 15, 2006 at 01:07 PM
And since guys are so much more intelligent, according to studies, not only did he actually boff a hedgehog, but bragged about it later.
Posted by: Beppie | September 15, 2006 at 01:11 PM
Brokeback bumper sticker-
"Save a cowboy, ride a hedgehog."
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | September 15, 2006 at 01:13 PM
Personal ad: SM looking for good times with small, spiny animal, no reptiles please.
Posted by: DavetheRed | September 15, 2006 at 01:14 PM
And when his friends said, "No way," he whipped open his pants and said, "I sure did - see??"
Posted by: Clean Hands | September 15, 2006 at 01:15 PM
LOL! Guys never say, "No way!". If a guy says, you will not believe this, but I just ran into Cindy Crawford down at the Piggly Wiggly and we got it on in the bathroom and she pleasured me up and took nothing for herself, since she said it was just an honor to be there, and was the best day of her life and all....", his friends response is always, "Dude, you are such a stud. Guess who I ran into down at the Jiffy Lube..."
Posted by: Beppie | September 15, 2006 at 01:23 PM
Beppie - women, otoh, would reply - "Did you notice whether Cindy got rid of that nasty rash?"
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | September 15, 2006 at 01:26 PM
My concern would be for the poor woman whom he...um...connected with next only to find that the "real" doc had missed a few.
Ouch for the wimmens.
Posted by: blurk | September 15, 2006 at 01:27 PM
I've heard of 'ribbed'...but 'pricked'???
yep....OUCHIE!
Posted by: Siouxie | September 15, 2006 at 01:40 PM
But was it good for the hedgehog?
Posted by: Beppie | September 15, 2006 at 01:43 PM
prolly not, Beppie...
the guy finished too quickly and she had to find a porcupine to finish the job...figures!
Posted by: Siouxie | September 15, 2006 at 01:52 PM
"the patient came off much worse"
Nope, sounds like he wasn't cured after all.
Posted by: Val | September 15, 2006 at 02:02 PM
Sign on the Witch Doctor's door-
"Thank you - come again."
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | September 15, 2006 at 02:09 PM
and..."Come often" :)
Posted by: Siouxie | September 15, 2006 at 02:37 PM
Gives new meaning to "waiting room."
"Please doc - you gotta get rid of those magazines in your waiting room."
"What's wrong with Hedgehog Monthly?"
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | September 15, 2006 at 02:53 PM
"And no maneth with hedgehoggedeth slicedeth penis and crushedethed testicleseth shall enter the temple either..."
Posted by: Beppie | September 15, 2006 at 03:20 PM
NEWS FLASH from Serbia:
Witchdoctor Partners Practice With Veterinarian
Posted by: estrogen centrale | September 15, 2006 at 03:35 PM
"If a guy says, you will not believe this, but I just ran into Cindy Crawford down at the Piggly Wiggly..."
Bep, you fantasize pretty good for a fe-type.
Posted by: Stevie W | September 15, 2006 at 03:52 PM
Was her name Muffsatawney Phyllis? I heard about her.
Posted by: Stevie W | September 15, 2006 at 03:55 PM
oh, snorkie, snorkie, and applause c-bol. just the thought of this makes me laugh, and also want to smack this guy upside his head. a frikkin hedgehog? but then again, maybe he is hung like a hamster..................
Posted by: queensbee | September 15, 2006 at 04:05 PM
Blew that. Sorry. Indulge me. Better:
Muff-so-tawny Phyllis.
Posted by: Stevie W | September 15, 2006 at 04:15 PM
Stevie, fantasize is right!
Posted by: Beppie | September 15, 2006 at 06:10 PM
After all that, then he has an operation in a theater.
Posted by: slyeyes | September 15, 2006 at 09:36 PM
Isn't that how Pee Wee Herman's troubles started?
Posted by: Stevie W | September 15, 2006 at 09:59 PM
Longtime lurker here....
Is NO ONE on this blog a Terry Pratchett fan? "The hedgehog can never be buggered at all...."
Posted by: suda nim | September 15, 2006 at 10:48 PM
How do you get the hedgehog in the mood? Dinner and a movie? "you're sure looking, uh, sharp tonight, baby." "how about a poke"...Yeeeoooooowww
Posted by: Jazzzz | September 16, 2006 at 04:35 PM
Thats not a hedgehog you morons, thats a fucking echidna
Posted by: percival | December 08, 2007 at 10:04 PM