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September 19, 2006


Ridley and I ARRRRR now in Seattle, which was a little rainy when we arrived, although nobody apologized for that. I was thinking of phoning some folks back in Minneapolis and telling them it was raining here in Seattle, so they could tell me they were sorry.

But it seems to be clearing up, and we're getting ready to celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day. Seattle is a fine place to do this. We were here on Talk Like a Pirate Day in 2004, and during our book-strumpeting event a group of drunks festive people dressed as pirates showed up in a highly modified Dodge van with a working cannon. It was very exciting. You do not often see people brandishing actual swords in a bookstore.


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No arrrrrrrrrain in Seatle!!!

Maybe the Pirates in a Dodge (WBAGNFARB??) could help us build our TPeashooter?




Sorry about the rain in Seattle, dave.

Me like "Pirates in a Dodge", Dread Pirate Chris...she deserves a *snork*, she do.

Aaaarrrghghgh...Dave it rains all the time in Seattle - better for plunderin' and scallywaggin'

Pirate Soccer Moms In Minivans(WBAGNFARB)

Bjorn...get with the spirit of the day...that would be

Arrr, sorry about the rain in Seattle, Cap'n Da'e. Gar, Where can I find a bottle o'rum?


But thanks all the same.

hey...send a friend a pirate song

Pirate messages


Ahoy, me fiery wench Helga! How be ye on this fine holiday?

Wha's th' matter wi' a little rain? All th' better fer sneakin' up on yer target!

(An' it makes a professional TP hit into a thing o' beauty!)

Me not refering to your gender Dread Pirate Chris, but the gender of ye RB. Since the female,lady,woman,girl,lass..is me favorite, me tend to think that way.

wet wenches are always me favorite. especially after a tankard or three o' rum.

Arrr Cap'n Dave They do be apologizin for the sun in Seattle

YAAAAARRRRRR t' that, Chazamataz!!

Ahh. OK.
Having a name that goes both ways (I don't, sorry) can sometimes be a little confusing.

Fer those of ye who be carin, me parents did name me after a certain A. A. Milne character.

Swords in a Bookstore would be a good name for a horror movie.


But Dave(y Jones), weren't you a-seein' people brandishin' swords durin' yer ferst book signin's with Ridley?

GRRRRRRRRRRRr working my butt off today!!

ohhhhh oops...I mean...

ARRRRRRRRRR I be workin' me arse off today!!

"Take me to yer Fiction Section - or taste me cold steel..."

hello, Christopher Robin

ARRRRRRRR MP3s and DVD ISOs off the starboard bow!

I'd rather taste somethin' else o' yours, me buxom wench!

Those scurvy Pirates on a Dodge should comandeer Cap't Sammy Jackson brandish their cutlasses and "pursuade" him to be making a movie, says I. Yaaarrrrrr!

Yarrrr an' ye beat me to it, Poo. Howsomeever, me being blind n'all, Chris, do ye be of th' male persuasion? just askin

Arrr, har's t' captain Da'e and his band o' merry drunks..revelers. Aye, me parrot concurs.

That ain't piratin', modern - that be jus' stealin'!

"Arrrr, ye Gawds! Yer puffy shirt be SO last century! Yer best be removin' it...an' whilst we be sprucin' yer up, let me polish yer sword fer ya..."

Annie - I do be indeed of the gender that says "We don't need no steeeenking toilet seats."

Or toilets fer that matter, trees be just fine when landlubbin.

Th' las' time I shat in a tree, I found th' experience t' be less than comfortable, me matey.

I be not above th' use of a toilet seat when th' occasion calls fer it.

That would explain the name then, right matey?

Aye, an' a sad story 'tis, too.

good one, Dread Pirate Chris!

Here's be hopin' that them fine folks with the DodgeCannonMobile show up again to scupper the scallywags Dave and Ridley and force them to drink the grog!

Arrrrgh meshugina....

"Annie - I do be indeed of the gender that says "We don't need no steeeenking toilet seats."

Yarrrr, aye, nor directions either I'll warrent.

Le's jus' say that when one be balancin' all precariously-like, it be important that one's sword be attended to, or else in its scabbard.

Th' crew were merciless in their taunting o' me fer the nex' month, as I had t' even sleep standing up.

I be mighty jealous of those rainy Seattle folks

O' course, I tell th' wenches th' amazing true story of th' time I got attacked by th' siamese twins, an' th' one got th' better of me backside whilst I got th' better o' his other half.


Arrr, Dread Pirate Chris, ye got me to laughin' aloud

I be frustrated to be ashore in th' fine port o' Portland, jus' a few hours' sailing down th' coast. Here, we have th' rain, an' no Cap'n Dave fer consolation.


I be after havin the stars and a good sextant.

"I be after havin the stars and a good sextant"

...aren't we all?

Yaaaarrr, I could use me a good sextant, meself.

If you combined The Fog with a bookstore and Talk Like a Pirate Day, that'd be a movied I'd illegally download, copy and sell on a street corner.

One o' the first things me ol' dad taught me was to always be sure that me cutlass was pointed in a safe direction.

what's all this talk of s3x stunts?

sextant??? *perk*

uh...ARRRRRR sextant?? *perrrrrrrrrrrrrrk*

Arrrrr, Norman! It be good t' see ye, e'en if ye be indeed fashionably late!

*snork* Siouxie - not what you thought it was, huh?

Are the local Starbucks offering "Grogaccinos" in honor of the day?

ps: Arrrrrr.

Me da' always taught me t' keep mine in its scabbard, Chris.

ARRRRR to ya, Latterday Norman!!! how ye be?

Aye, been diggin' fer me treasure, Mateys. Lost the fargin' map.

Well, we be glad to see ye, Norman, late or early. Have some grog?

Aye (not eye), 24!! *sigh*

better to be late to s3x party than way early...if thee catch me draft me harties...

Findin' a sextant be no difficult thing - it be finding yer way around with it tha's th' trick.

"You do not often see people brandishing actual swords in a bookstore."

Sure you do. In the crosSWORDS puzzle section.

Har har har har har

(JEI [joke educational index]: 3rd grade)

This be getting interesting...HAAR HAAAAAR (translation: snork) to many!

Sextants be not that hard. Harder (arrrrrrr) than a map an' compass, which in turn be harder than battin yer eyelashes at someone. But still...

Cap'n Buttscar:

According to the Pirate Laws of the High Seas (article 6, paragraph 3), "...removal from scabbard is permissible when, but only after, the command 'Prepare to be boarded!' has been declared."

Well, this be Arkansas, I guess it be OK to have s3x with your aunt.

i be guessin' that cap'n dave shops (plunders?) at different booke stores than i be frequenting. poor cap'n dave.

cap'n lairbo, it should be mandatory, pre-scabbard removal, that all men of the male persuasian warn us wenches when they are preparing to bore(d) us.

Cap'n Bork, I do believe that the command has t' not just be issueed, but acknowledged. Or did I take th' wrong piratin' class?

Capt. Hore - I think PLotHS (a7, p21) says "anyone", not just "aunt". Rapin and pillagin be an equal oportunity sport.

aarrghghgh, xgrrrl be right - a man had best be warnin' me afore he tries to plunder my treasures

HARRRRR @ th' tragically cute wench!

E'er since tha' dratted Pirate's Law o' th' High Seas were adopted, piratin's been no fun - always some skinny swabby in wingtips poppin' up t' "advise" ye as to how yer piratin' duties should be carried out.

Ok...this sounds pretty kinky but...

ARRRRRR Ye best keep ye cannon outta me bunghole!!!

Ye didn't read the Laws all the way ta the end Buttscar. It says clearly that it's OK to run the skinny swabby in wingtips through.

Cappy Buttscar:

Ay, matey, an updated version of the rule book is amended with "acknowledgement and permission."

Chaz... took me ages to catch yer draft. Did though, so ye got me laughing. I guess that's why you're the Terrible, and I be swabbin' the deck.

Aye, I knew ye were a saucy wench, Helga. Any pirate who goes t' use a bunghole wi'out an invitation is askin' t' have 'is plank keelhauled.

Fer those of ye takin notes, bungholes be way to small fer cannon. Ye could get the barel of yer flint lock in there, but why ye'd want to shoot the grog barrel is beyond me.

Arrrrr - then I be in full compliance wi' th' Laws already, Chris. :-D

Arrrr ye be goin' to eat some CRABS while yer there in Seattle, Davey?

I broke the italics!!!


skinny swabby in wingtips

Aye, Cap'n Buttscar. Out here we calls 'em Game Wardens.

An jist fer the record, swabby's, ya' don't bring a knife to a gun fight. Ye'll ne're see a sword in a book shop here, ye'd be too far out gunned.

Holly Cr@p!!
A multi-pirate post.
I be needin more grog and whatever it is that us pirates smoke.

guin - drooling now!!!!

An' I fixed 'em fer ye, Dread Chris.

I be thinkin' tha' if'n Cap'n Dave comes home wi' crabs, Mrs. Blog will be less than amused.

Cutlass, flintlock, 16-pound cannon, TPeashooter.
I think we could take the game warden.

whp be-eth this Judi person? Reveal yerself to the masses, wench!

what is this testing you speak of?

I' we're t' be tested, what manner of disease be it that ye be lookin' fer?

AYE, Buttscar!!!Not ta mention his skull crrrrrrushed between me thighs! 'n his wallywacker slashed t' bits!!

whoops, sorry ;)

Aye, Cap'n Beerbong be havin' issues methinks.

Ye gots a hedgehog there, then, Helga?

Saucy indeed! Arrrr.

Aye, that be better, maiden judi. I'll be warnin' ye, though, ye'll not be stayin' innocent fer long in this crowd o' swashbucklers.

harrrrrrrrrrrrr @ ye innocent (cough) maiden!!

Arrrrr, miss judi, you keep on using that word "innocent". I do not think it means what you think it means...

Cap'n Helga - I could be after gettin into the first half o' that, but only if I kin wear a DreamHelmet.

Ye might try this, instead.

That be a mighty funny-lookin' pirate what shows up wearin' one o' those hats, Dread Chris.

Might but improve some pirates' fightin' skills, I guess, tho'.

I be after plannin to keelhaul the blog software. I know the DreamHelmet got blogged before and I thought I got it right.


-gurgle, gurgle, gurgle

HARRR! lovely helmet!! NTTAWWT

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