THE FIVE MOST DANGEROUS WORDS YOU CAN HEAR ON VACATION

"Help yourselves to the buffet."

Comments

[billinbossier]

Especially if it is the midnight chocolate buffet on a cruise ship.

[Straw]

calories consumed on vacation do not count.

[O. the U(manity)]

Except around the hips, straw ...

[sharon share-alike]

I always thought the five most dangerous words were, "I'll change into my Speedo" (tm thingie), after helping oneself to the buffet.

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

So ya eat a little. You'll work it off at the computer when you get back.

[Sarah J]

eeeeewwwww at sharon! *snork*

[Dr. Doug]

Watch those calories, Dave. They will serve you many more times what your body needs. And once on, they are horrendous to shed.

[sharon share-alike]

Sarah! Don't you know it's not polite to "ewwwwwwww!" at someone who's wearing a Speedo (tm thingie)??? Now look what you did...my confidence is all rattled and I feel the need to hit the buffet again.

But because you also *snork*ed, I'll forgive you.

[Bumble]

Shoot. I still haven't eaten lunch.

*wanders down to the kitchen*

[sharon share-alike]

Whunnaahgongmebfffft, Mmmmble?

*swallows*

Ahem. I mean...wanna join me at the buffet, Bumble?

Plus, I have an extra Speedo(tm thingie) if you want it!

[Bumble]

sharon~ Sure, but you do not want to see me in a speedo.

[Wramblin' Wreck]

Sharon,

For many of us (myself included) the speedo(tm thingie) is the perfect halloween horror costume.

[shellann]

Dave, Go ahead and pile the plate - you'll burn it all off building massive sandcastles and chasing Sophie.

[Jeff Meyerson]

I always thought the five most dangerous words were, "Look out! It's Barry Manilow!"

[sharon share-alike]

Okay....now I have an image in my head of Barry Manilow wearing a Speedo(tm thingie). Thanks, Jeff!

*heads out to find the brain bleach*

[Shayne Michael]

I can never get myself to go back for seconds but I always overload the plate the first time with firsts, seconds and thirds so that I look less greedy in public.

[Mikey]

I say we buy Dave a speedo!

What do ya say?

[KDF]

*imagines Sophie hiding under the buffet table, enjoying what must be a plethora of scrumptious kid foods, while The Blog and Mrs. Blog run rampant yelling "SOPHIE! WHERE ARE YOU?! COME OUT RIGHT NOW!" while stopping back at the table occasionally for just one more bacon wrapped artichoke fritter and a chocolate covered strawberry*

What? Panicked parents need to eat!

[Punkin Poo]

I'm going on a cruise in a couple of weeks. I've started training for the buffet by stretching my stomach with rich foods ahead of time. I ain't no fool. *bbbrrrraaaappp

[Eleanor]

Good plan, Punkin - I like it!

[Punkin Poo]

Ammhmmem, unnnhh, *chews* fank eew, El..*swallows*

[Layzeeboy]

Dave, have at it. After a long day of castle buildin' and Sophie chasin' you've earned it. (I'm assuming, of course, that you eventually found Sophie. If not, have her share, as well).

[billinbossier]

Punkin...you need to go into heavy training. Some cruise ships offer 24 HOUR PIZZA!! Not to mention that the bars start opening about 10:00am.

[Guin]

Is there sushi at the buffet? What about an ice-cream sundae bar? Sign me up!

[O. the U(manity)]

Punkin' ... as to your ...stretching my stomach ... idea ... um ... um ... um ... uhhh ... nevermind ...

[TIGGER]

For true, one and all. BUT......the five scariest words to hear ANYTIME from your female spouse(guys, cover your monitor)
"Hey, Look! An outlet mall!"

[Jazzzz]

Guin...I think you can get a sushi ice cream sundae...Yum!

[slyeyes]

While driving to Florida a number of years ago (back when I was married), my husband said "Hey, look, an outlet mall." I became faint. Seriously. And I was driving. It was some rogue blood sugar level thing that hadn't happened before or since, just right at that moment.

[WoosterGirl]

A sampling of the five most horrible words you'll hear after vacation:

"Your pants look rather...snug."

"You ate a LOT, huh."

"Your LDL is really high."

[artchick]

Don't forget for female blogpersons: "So, when are you due?"

[Siouxie]

I'm still trying to get rid of weight acquired during a vacation cruise ...4 years ago. I say enjoy every pound! I did.

[Steven Jens]

Sly: is that why you're no longer married?

[Annie Where-but-here]

Steven J - Once upon a time, when they stopped at the outlet mall, sly's ex said, "You've got ten minutes - I need to get home to watch the game."
...and he was never seen again. The end.

billinbossier - pizza? chocolate? You're a man after my own hardened arteries!

artchick - I was nine and a HALF months pregnant, and someone asked me, "When are you due?"
Deadpan, I replied, "I'm not pregnant." He turned bright red.

[veee]

Annie - nice!

[O. the U(manity)]

Annie!

Thats mean!

(But I LIKE it! Great answer!)

[Siouxie]

*snork* @ Annie! love it!

[queensbee]

you aint lived until you've been at a buffet - used to be at the Catskill hotels, now, they're gone, so maybe they are all in Florida -- with a couple dozen lil ole jewish ladies who could knock you over for a helping cheesecake.... maybe its the "depression" mentality, maybe, i dunno, but stay away from those gals. or let them get their stuff first. course, there might NOT be anything left by then. If you must go to a buffet, practice at Golden Corral first. the food is bad, but at least there is a lot of it.....

[crossgirl]

you can avoid the dangers of the buffet by never leaving the bar!

[Val]

I'm going on a cruise in a couple of weeks myself (where you going, punkin? Wouldn't it be a riot if we were on the same boat, er, ship?)

Anyway, I figure you can either die skinny & miserable or fat & happy. I vote for the latter :)

[Val]

Oh, and Speedo Buffet WBAGNFARB.

[24-aholic]

There is a story on my local news about a buffet that is being investigated by the health department as employees were seen making food in the parking lot AFTER running it over with their cars. Dave, I hope you are not at this buffet.

[crossgirl]

24, i believe the technical term is tenderizing.

[Tanpopo]

AWBH - I FULLY intend to use that on anyone impolite enough to ask that if/when I am pregnant. Oh, and I also intend to break the arms of anyone rude enough to grab my belly uninvited.