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August 28, 2006



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If I had a nickel for every time I had to cut someone's testicles out of a chair frame...

I woulda voted to save the chair.

I'd bet he was a bit teste, er, testy, uh... cranky when they were all done.

I hate when that happens!

Sue the chair maker!


Meanwhile, the blindfolded crab hanging out under the chair is asking, "Who took the pinata?"

I know that feeling, Wookiee. Don't you hagte it when they don't have the curtesy to let you know they'vre lefaving their testicles behind when they leave?

do the workers who cut him out get hazard pay?

Hang lowwwww, sweet....nevermind

he thought he was safe because it was an adirondick chair.....

I wonder what he tried before giving in and calling for help?

"Excuse me, ma'am. Hi. Say, could I trouble you to fetch a bucket of cold water and put my testicles in it until they shrink enough to...ma'am?"

That would be good.

"Mom, tell us again how you met daddy?"

Water must not have been very cold.

This once happened to my Dad, with a wooden toilet seat he was too cheap to replace, til a well placed crack changed his mind. Still funny all this time later.

They might as well cut the chair in half-no one else would ever want to sit in it again!

New to writing blogs...but have read them, for a while...OUCH...and poor chair, gave it's all and split...Dave watch out down there for the hurricane brings all sorts of weird things with it...kinda like the special session (her)the Gov is thinking about calling...my prayers are for the state (FL)...no hurricane and no special session...that would make for a great way for summer to end!

I'm really having trouble figuring out how you can get your nuts stuck in any sort of crack on a toilet seat. How was he holding the goat?

And why was he sitting on an old wooden toilet seat after swimming nude?

Boggles the mind, really.

judi or someone, please note that the 12:05 comment by "Siouxie" above appears to be our resident blog demonboy back up to his old childish pranks.


Cheap Croatian chairs!

Should'a been one that kept ALL the danglie bits!

pssst, imagine a babe laying down-the-ramparts?

I wanna get out of my little chair crack
in Kealakekua, Croatia
Where the humu-humu nuts removal men go swimming by...

The maintenance guys took the call,
But all they could hear was his bawl.
One scratched his head,
“I think that he said
That his beach chair was having a ball.”

Snork at C'bol for the pinata.

I suddenly got new meaning from the phrase: FREE WILLY

judi - there is an imposter on the blog again - Siouxie's name, my e-mail

Do the imposters do this often on here?

I've been reading/posting for about 2 or 3 weeks and saw messages about them but didn't see the posts.

I saw that too, 24. Thanks, judi.

And to add insult to injury, the story of his trapped manliness was covered in Short News.

DavetheRed: Some *bleep* shows up every now and then and uses bloglits names to post very stupid things. And by that I mean more stupid than the things WE post. When you've been here long enough you'll get to know the bloglits email addresses and that's an easy way to tell. You also get to know their writing styles and you just know that it's not something they would say.
Well, except me. I'll say just about anything.

*snork* @ Christobol! Nice limmerick, slowlayne.
Carry on, y'all ...

Then there was the misprint in the church paper about the salt "Tally pulling contest"...

LOL thanks blurk, I did think it would be strange for siouxie(spelling) to say that, I notice it's kept fairly clean in here. (except for a few innuendos, lol)

*snork* @ DaveTheRed... a few innuendoes?

Wait'll you get caught up in a massive simulcast. :-D

And DavetheRed - judi usually deletes their posts so that is why you may see our indignation but not their immature comments.

All hail judi, savior of the blog!

OK that explains why I didn't see what they wrote.


24! Put some clothes on! Your indignation is showing!

Punkin - I was told that is how you know me from the imposter.

dang you, blurk!

At least, get dressed before taking a seat...

Clean - 2 simuls? wow

don't be like one of those fools
who don't listen, don't follow rules
when seated sans underwear
on an adirondack deck chair
always keep one eye on your jewels

Um...24...I wasn't really lookin'.

Nice indignation, by the way.

This happened to a guy in April while sitting at his computer. No phone within reach. Nothing lubricative within reach.

So he did what he had to to.

He submitted a cry for help to Fark.com

Hilarity ensued.

I wonder if he tipped the maintenance crew.

shoddy journalism, there are no pictures.

Indignation is the key
to keeping boggers free
from the dipsh!ts going on a spree.

Meanie - It wasn't the tip he was having problems with.

Bravo, DavetR!

I picture the chair he was sitting in as one of those old kitchen chairs with the worn our wicker seat with a hole in it. Grabbed on to his junk like chinese finger cuffs!!! MOMMY!!!!

Oh, and I forgot to mention:

On the Fark thread, pics were eventually posted. Whether or not they are still visible, I am not sure.

Here in the good ole USofA it's proper nudist etiquette to carry a towel with you, and place it on any public seat before sitting. If this yutz had done this he wouldn't have had to pry his jewels outta the chair. Those crazy Croations.

Kibby, reminds me of the old joke about a "peter pulling party at St. Taffy's."

*Does not want to know what he was doing with the chair before ball grabbing incident*

At least it wasn't a sling.
'Cause that woulda been bad.

Good one russell!

(...little grass shack...)

Bismuth, that fark thread is hilarity of the most horrendous intense variety.

As a man of the male persuasion, I am very nearly convinced that I should never remove my clothes again for any reason. Ever.

Actually russell...

Little known fact: In Hawaiian, "humuhumunukunukuapua'a" means "Help! My nuts are stuck in this beach chair and I can't get up!"

Now, how it became the state motto is a still a little murky.

Welcome Anne Tyler

*snork* @ C-bol!

Bismuth: reading that fark thread was like entering a parallel universe. There was even some dude named "HRpuffenstuff" that submitted a haiku.

I'm scared.

back! and HEY!! what did the imposter say????

sheesh!! thanks judi! (24 & blurk for noticing)

D'ya really want to know, Siouxie? ><

sure...I'm curious...


not you CH of course...and btw....how's the Mrs.??

I had to read it twice, and I still didn't believe she'd say it.

sheesh...musta been bad....

LOL... it was something about an approach to the problem. Inarticulately pornographic. Typical of the dipsh!t.

Ya just never know with beach chairs. This one probably started by snagging towels, spiraled out of control to fingers and toes. Now look where it's wound up, broken all to pieces. *tsk*

Mrs. is doing well, BTW. Tired, and ready for it to be over, but that's normal at this stage. :-)

Yeah it is normal at this stage...you're like...GET IT OUT OF ME NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

as far as the dipsh!t goes...I'm glad ya'll know me well enough by now to know what a perfect lady I am :)

Meanwhile, the blindfolded crab hanging out under the chair is asking, "Who took the pinata?"

BWAHAHAHAHA!! C'bol, you have been missed!!

slowlayne - excellent! ;)

hiya, Siouxie. ;)

hey sgirl!!!! how ya doing???

LArdog88: LOL for chinese finger cuffs

Great mental picture, there!

I once got my thing stuck in the diswasher and we both got fired.

Pah-dump bump. (Old joke, I know, I know.)

*snork* *SNORK* Still reading that Fark thread. That poor b@st@rd.

Good thing this didn't happen here in Miami during Hurricane "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE" Ernesto...we'd have to throw him, the chair and the danglies into the pool...

hi. just got here. OWWW.

So, y'all got your hatches all battened down?

Anyone here work at Home Depot in the Cone of Death™?

Oh, nevermind - if you do, you wouldn't be on here right now, eh?

well I just heard that our schools are closed tomorrow and wednesday...further sign that we're basically f*cked!!

it's lovely to get credit for stuff one didn't do, but today's cleanup was actually brought to you by The Blog Himself, while the s.b. was off buying water. thank you, sir.

You mean you had to go brave the mad crowds out there, while The Blog Himself remains safely abating nuisances?

And you with a busted toe! There ought to be some hazardous-duty bonus in there for you somewhere.

In that case....thank you Mr. Blog!!!

judi, that's one thing they didn't have at the Coral Gables Publix...water.

and Dave was right...there was a LINE to get inside Publix!

and the gas lines...you may as well get your bikes ready...

but I managed to find cheez-whiz...YAY!! all is good!

Siouxie, I'm glad you found the cheez-wiz. I've been huntin' all day and couldn't find one. Spotted a couple of tracks but those processed foods are pretty cagey.

blurk, it was touch and go there for a while...had to sneak up around the aisle and launch at the little suckers (squirters) with lightning speed!

I sometimes launch at lightning speed.

But give me about 5 minutes and we'll go again.

5 mins, blurk???? I'm impressed...

publix was out of water. cvs, however, in the next parking lot, still has plenty.

the one on US 1 near UM,judi??

blurk - only 5 minutes? You need to give seminars to other men.

Not that I know any who can't "recover" after 5 minutes

only in the cyberworld, kitten :)

It is too much to ask for, huh, Siouxie?

5 minutes tops.

Special kinda rocket fuel.

And notice, kitten, I did not say "pocket rocket".

Thought I'd forgotten that one didn't ya?

*evil grin™*

yeah, it's chock full of bs, I suppose

Now, blurk, if you've got a pocket rocket, then 5 minutes for me is a no brainer

*evil grin™*

yeah...unless of course they're in their 20's (or so I've heard)

Thanks, Siouxie - see ya in 5 minutes?

special rocket fuel huh??


Yep, special rocket fuel. All systems go sittin' upright on the launch pad.

that's just because Siouxie and I keep simul-ing in front of you!

I'd be careful with the forward thrust, blurk...

sometimes that can cause the engine to eject prematurely :P

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