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August 28, 2006



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First?! Little ole me?

Can I add a couple more people to that roster?

As long as it is not televised, I'm all for it. I have no desire to watch Paris sh!t herself, though.

didn't jim henson already do this? wait, no, that was pigs in space.

Well, I always suspected she was from another planet. It's about time someone took her home.

Is there a fund we can contribute to to make sure this comes true? And is the rocket gonna come back down again? 'Cos if it is, I ain't interested.

crossgirl - And the difference is....?

On a serious, science-y note: I wonder what will happen when the vacuum of space meets the vacuum of Paris' cranium?

we have docked and we're
flying on full impulse power
weightless with paris

skank or no skank, dudes
brainless and full of herself
just let me at her

just one request though,
in order to ah, perform
none of her music

Wouldn't it be her diaper that is full of herself?

Ah, the iconic Yoko Ono of the current decade wants to be blasted into space. Accidents happen occasionally. We can on;y hope.

Punkin, I think it'll be like the BIG (BLONDE) BANG theory...


nature abhors a vacuum.

Apparently, Richard doesn't know that you hardly have to nickname it your "Virgin Enterprise Rocket" to get Paris on it...

Paris can take her black hole back into the depths of space for all I care...

did I say that aloud?

Ground Control to Paris Hitlon, can you hear us Paris Hilton?...because we cant hear you and we love it!

I think she misunderstood the word shuttlecock.

In space no one can hear you skank.

Should there be a comma after 'you'?

Reality is nowhere near her concept of anything.

"Skinny Sluts in Space" WBAGNFA really bad 50s B-movie.

I can see it now...

ENTERPRISE: Houston, we have a problem. We have a main bus B undervolt. We've got a lot of thruster activity here, Houston.

HOUSTON: What's the story with the computer now?

ENTERPRISE: It just went off line. Oh, there's another master alarm, Houston. I'm checkin' the Quad...that was no repress valve.

PARIS: And tell him my hair dryer is on the fritz!

wouldn't a space shuttle run by Virgin just automatically eject her or something?

fox ontrol to paris h.
fox control to paris h.
Put your lipstick down and put your Depends on
comencing countdown engines on
we've got some cue cards if you get tripped up again!

(voiceover of Paris saying "ten,...uhh, nine,...eight , that's hot...")

this is fox control to paris h
you've really paid to play
and bill o'reilly wants to know just what you wear
now it's time to wave to earth (it's over there!)
this is paris h to fox control
i'm not sticking to the floor
and i'm getting the most peculiar stares
probly 'cause i'm not wearing underwear!

i'm here
just a reg'lar outer space skank
far above nicole
planet earth is blue
i've run out of men to s***w

though it's cost one hundred thousand clams
i'll just make a new CD
what's an 'air lock' do?, i want to know...
tell my fans i'll be in re-runs (they know!)

fox control to paris h.
your circuit's dead , are you getting it on?
can you hear us paris h?
can you hear us paris h?
can you hear? (repeat chorus)...


Emission control, we have a problem.

Way to go, insom.

Earwig Alert: I Love Paris by Nat "King" Cole

Every time she looks down on our sad, pathetic town
whether blue or green may be her eyes
Though loud be our cheers, for her rents in arrears,
more and more do I realize:
We hate Paris in her diapers.
We hate Paris in free-fall.
We hate Paris when she drizzles,
Leaking on re-entry makes things sizzle.

We hate Paris every moment,
every moment of the year.
We hate Paris, why, oh why do we hate Paris?
Because her actions sort of scare us!

Virgin Enterprise rocket


Wouldn't it be her diaper that is full of herself?

*snork* @ CH!

oooh...a simul with PirateBoy...was it good for you, PB? ;)

BRAVO and hearty *SNORK* @ insom!!

I thought the cow already jumped over the moon.

Insom, that was perfect!!! I was thinking the same exact song. :-D

here's some more Paris news

Maybe she wants to find out for herself if "Stars Are Blind". I just hope they boil her before they let her on the shuttle. (The first to be decontaminated BEFORE launch...)

Is Paris afterburning?

Don't tell me SOMEONE here hasn't made the "Moon Over Paris" comment yet.

Oh dear god no, blurk.

We've all (those of us who sometimes follow ambiguously-labeled links, at least) already seen Paris' moon.

(voiceover of Paris saying "ten,...uhh, nine,...eight , that's hot...")


No, no, no. Branson misunderstood. He thought she said "Hey, Dick, I'd like to see Uranus sometime."

Paris does Pluto...

Can we just leave here up there???

Awww, man, Siouxie. Can't we leave Mickey's dog out of this?

Talk about your ambiguously-labeled links...

Geezer Joke: Mickey is suing Minnie for divorce. The judge looks up from the paperwork and says, "Mr. Mouse, I understand what a burden it must be but here in Florida the fact your wife is insane is not a ground for divorce."

"What insane?" replies Mickey, "I said she was effing Goofy."

The Mercury program was over.
4 years later Gus Grissom was killed along with astronauts White and Chaffey when fire swept through their Appolo capsule. But on this glorious day in May 1963 Gordo Cooper went higher, farther and faster 23 complete orbits around the Earth he was the last American ever to go into space alone but for one breif shining moment Gordo Cooper became the greatest pilot anyone had ever seen.

I dont know why this story made me think of the The Right Stuff as Paris definetly does not have it but man that is a great movie.

Paris Hilton stars in "The Wrong Stuff"...

Apollo 69

snorks @ Chris

snork@chaz. dunno if Paris will actually need her diaper, but there is no doubt, K-Fed would. He pisses his pants for anything.

Cher's son is apparently one class act.

Yeah, a real brainiac, too. Tilex?

No, man, that's why you stock up on bleach...

The link to the additional paris story had two interesting tidbits in it:
1) Apparently, it's abuse if you tape an alligator's mouth shut while taking a picture with it. Wouldn't it be a little more harsh if you killed the beast to get the picture? nail polish remover will take off the extra adhesive.
2) K-Fed got good scores on his standarized tests? That just goes to show that those things are not representative of what kids are learning.

"...but I don't think she's done the research - the reality may not be her idea of fun."

Paris didn't research? Ya think?! I doubt she even knows what a library, let alone a book is.

I have no problem with sending her to space....just returning.


I really expected the engines to fire longer, sorry!

Let's do launch!

Hey, it's better than using chimpanzees as test subjects.....

Save a chimp, launch a Paris??? Meanie?

If by "launch" you mean "sacrifice", then yes, exactly, SiouxieLITCOD.

Meanie, that's exactly what I meant...

Well, if she does wind up in outer space it'll fortify the argument that there's no intelligent life up there.

3 words: 1-way-ticket.

Maybe we can send Twitney and Madonna too...

Skanks in Space....

Addicted: Thanks for the quote. That is one of my most favorite movies of all time too.
Dennis Quaid as Gordo: priceless!

And the book was terrific too.

I couldnt agree with you more Eleanor. I really love the scene of LBJ outside John Glenn's house throwing a hissy fit. Classic stuff!


Nah, she'll just do whut she did on that helicopter ride ...

Pilot! I demand that you land on that asteroid (!) RIGHT NOW ... I hafta go pee-pee!

She has to ride the rocket. Somebody stole her little motorbike.

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