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August 27, 2006



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We on the Texas Gulf Coast have dodged yet another bullet. It can't go on.

24 hours ago, Ernesto was headed for New Orleans. It could go almost anywhere.

Those who can: read Carl Hiaasen's column today and then go back and re-view those storm tracks.

It's the FIRST one of the season for us.


I'll be praying for y'all.

Well, Dave, just another reason to move to Vermont.

DANGIT!! here we go ...

And I just left my daughter in Sarasota...could head that way! great...

I'm moving to Montana or Wyoming...blurk, Wyo?? I can help with the chickens or goats or cows...or whatever it is you cowdudes got over there!

See where the line intersects Florida's west coast?

That's pretty much where my house is. I know it's a little early, but I would like to take this opportunity to say, "We're f**ked!"

Siouxie, your daughter can come stay with me if she wants.

hmm thanks fud!! but...uh..looking at your previous post you may wanna consider coming down to Miami and stay with ME!!!

We'll probably have to drive up there and pick her up..depending on what happens in the next couple of days

Don't worry, the house is all boarded up, and we got enough food and water for a couple weeks.

Plenty of vodka, too.

Need beer, though.

kewl...then I'll go up there!!!

Ruuuuuuuun! Save yourselves!

Alternately, dress up Walter andput him on weather watch again.

Meteorological Oosiks WBAGNF something.

Looks like the same track as Charlie two years ago. Are we going to have to suffer through that goat-rope again?

On the brighter side, I do have a generator AND and an ice machine this time.

*wanders off to polish the hurricane shutters*

I'll take beer...

Siouxie and fud...Go into debt purchasing large, expensive generators like the one Dave has. You will be fine. Works like garlic warding off vampires.

jollymom, where are you?? (other than *here*)

or we can ALL go to Dave's house!!!

*promises to bring lots and lots of beer*

WeatherB, I had a generator and gave it away when I moved 2 years ago...lucked out that our power only goes out for a few hours and not DAYS!

Well, y'all can take some small consolation (very small, I admit) in the fact that the headlines won't hafta say Debby Does Dade! after the storm track passes ...

I'm on the east coast (Cocoa Beach) right across the river from Cape Canveral. We got Charlie, Frances and Jeanne that year.

Best hurricane panel graffiti of the year:

"Lighten up Frances"...(Sgt. Hulka)

Ernesto does Englewood!


Think positive and carry a big raincoat.

You just know this was brought on by your 10:55 post on Wednesday. You were practically taunting the weather. ;-)

ohh, I have friends in Melbourne. I've been up there a few times...visited Cocoa Beach (the one night spot they had there) Gilligans?? I think??

That's IT! I've had it with these MOTHER@$%#&@ 'canes in this MOTHER@$%#&@ state!

Oops, sorry!

triple simul cleanup!!!

Holy simul in non-italics!

Quad, actually.

*fans self*

And another triple with me in the middle! Too bad blurk isn't here.

Bumble may be on to something...Dave has been braggin' about his GINORMOUS PUNKIN BAZOOM-LIKE GENERATOR...it was only a matter of time...

But let it be known that I was the first to clean up tropic's mess, among other things. ;-)

*ducks and runs*

wooo hooo...smokin!!! thanks guys *eg*

I'm so glad *sniff* that you all *sniff* are looking out for mey mistakes!

BUMBLE!!! I'm looking out for YOU now!!!!

fud, with the mention of bazooms and simuls and now Florida possibly getting it's first "blowj*b" of the season... blurk SHOULD be here!!

*leaves a round of drinks as a peace offering for tropic and ducks back into her hiding place*

(*)(*) and BAZOOMAGE!!!

It's like a dog whistle that only blurk can hear, but, alas, it didn't work last time.

He probably saw something shiny again.

Hey, NONE of those have alcohol? You call that a peace offering?!?!

(Now I'm wondering what other things Bumble was referring to having cleaned up...)

Dave, Dave, Dave.

Don't you know that you live in place that is considered to be the hurricane magnet for the entire country? (Or are they just attracted to Walter? [NTTTAWWT])

Here on the Left Coast, consider what we have to offer:

1. Earthquakes. At least the National Hurricane Center gives you notice a few days in advance.

Out here in LA-LA-Land, all we have is the office moron shouting "I think we're having an earthquake!" as the books tumble off the shelves.

2. Brush fires. You live in swampland. Enough said.

Out here, we occasionally have to shut down at work and try to make it home, in winds that can top 85 mph. (The highest I've ever been in was 110 mph. My car did a "lane change" while I held the wheel straight). And the smoke gets so thick you have to have your bright lights on to see the lane markers, at 11 am.

3. Floods. Usually happens after event #2.

Ever seen a wave of mud come down in a canyon higher than the power lines? I have!

4. Locusts. These are due any time now, I'm sure. Just wait for them.

One the bright side, "Cold" here in Kalifornia means any temp less than 65 degrees. "Really cold" means we get to drive 20 minutes to the ski resorts. "Too freakin' cold!" means I have to scrape the ice off my windshield. Of course, I must add that the water for the ice comes from the sprinker system left on to water the grass, but that's a minor issue.

We also get Jimmy Buffett concerts, outside, in mid-November, and our climate can be somewhat tropical.

Substitute Spanish food for Cuban, and you'd be feel at home!

PB, don't forget the acid rain, rock slides and smog...I lived in Pasadena for a couple of years...

I was stationed in San Bernadino for a while. I'll take a hurricane every couple of years instead, thank you.

I do kind of miss the gunfire in the night, but I can always go to Miami to reminisce.

th.com guy - here you go

Actually, I wasn't referring to cleaning other things up. I meant I'd been first at other things today; I guess I phrased that badly. Can I come out now? Please?

It's what I'm drinking right now actually.

(hence the lack of beer in my house).


Bumble: Oh sure, look all innocent at first, but then...


You were stationed at NAFB? Consider yourself lucky. Some of us have spent our entire lives in the "Inland Empire". I'm sure that given time and 20 years of therapy, we will all somehow manage to forgive our ancestors for not following the lead of the Mormons, who both founded, then quickly abandoned, San Bernardino.

(Off-topic: Great nickname that you have there!)

Pirate Boy,

Yep, darling wife and myself closed that miserable base. I skipped the therapy and went straight to beer. And as luck would have it our next assignment was to Hill, which was wonderful. The Mormons tried to convert us for a while until I lied and told them I was Jewish.

You must be at March, eh? Are you by any chance related to Pirate John? He's a biker/blogger/parrothead from Jax, FL.



Please forgive my blonde moments here. I read your name as "jollymom" (a very happy mom, I thought) and therefore mistook you to be a female...my apologies!

*goes to check contacts*

Oh bugger. Maybe it'd be safer if I'd gone with my buddy to Isreal...

Siouxie, I thought it said Jollymom too. I'm afraid it's our age (and I'm a couple of years older than you). I can't read the aisle signs in the supermarket w/out glasses. Hey, but we're still here!
Jollymon, nice to make your acquaintance!

Back on topic,

Has anyone besides me noticed that all the newspersons are having multiple orgasms because there is finally a storm out there to talk about. Sheesh. TWC is doing updates about every 30 seconds, and they are even perkier than before.

No offense taken Siouxie. I'm the only blonde/blue rastafarian wandering around these parts, and it takes a bit to get me riled. If Ernesto hoses up our banner ganja crop, well that might do it.

whewwww...I'm glad I'm not the only one on the geezer express train (hopefully sans snakes)

I'll toke to that!!! :)

well I'm off to the movies!!! keep my mind off Ernesto the Evil

Thanks Foggy.

It's a pleasure to be here.

Siouxie, did you say Dave claimed to have GENERATOR-LIKE GINORMOUS PUNKIN' BAZOOMS??? Cause that seems kinda strange, even for Dave.

Just checkin'.

Siouxie, Did you say Dave claimed to have
GENERATOR-LIKE GINORMOUS PUNKIN'BAZOOMS??? Cause that seems kinda strange, even for Dave.

Just chekin'.

I swear I DID NOT.....post that twice.

*crawls into hole--dies miserable death.*

Hey! Leave my bazoomba's outta Dave's generator, will ya!


On the brite side.....ya'll can take cover under my bazoombage shelf of safety.

Gee Tanks Punkin'

*snorking upward with a huge smile on his face*

Oh, and we leave on our cruise from Boston to Bermuda next sunday.....could y'all blow really hard and push Ernesto over toward Portugal before we get there.

And, c'mon, Ernesto???? Sounds like the worst he could do is break into your house and redecorate.

Har. Poor little coast people. Here (Centralish Texas) we only have the occasional tornado. And occasional softball-sized hail and gullywash thunderstorms that have been known to float a car to the other side of town. Ooh, and fire ants! Can't go through a year as a proper Texan without a good proper fire ant mauling!

Wait, Texans get hurricanes, too. Hrm, well, at least they (The hurricanes) make the fire ants go into hiding. Fire ants being smarter than severe weather reporters, of course.

*snork* @ Punkin

But you're (not your) aware that that particular method of redecorating comes with a roughly $10,000 deductable, right? Enjoy the cruise, but I fear that early next week it may be a bit bumpy on that particular stretch of water.

And Flattman, I've never seen such an abundance of fire ants until just after a hurricane. I swear they were in our freezer, water heater, pick an appliance. It's like pouring water on a gremlin (the other one, not the AMC variety).

News Flash: CNN just reported that Ernesto has now been downgraded to a "tropical storm", although it could pick up speed again in a couple of hours.

In refernce to 'jolly.' When I was a kid, my parents took us to a restaurant, somewhere west of the Rockies, which was called the "Jolly Roger," where the servers were dressed like pirates. I thought it was so cool! I was 7 or so. Have any of you been there?

GROAN. The Keys are already being exterminated..er..evacuated of tourists. The newspeople all say we're gonna die.

Must get bleach!!


I'm in Fort Myers, directly in the projected path of the red swirly symbol. Our TV newscritters have just been saying there's no need to panic, but we could all be killed.

"It's not too early to plan your evacuation route", they said. Done: I'm gonna be in Minneapolis. Neener neener neener.


Now I have another reason to love Memphis. Lived in Louisiana and through several hurricanes there. Now, we just get the odd straight line wind storm and ice storms every ten years or so. When hurricanes hit, we get nice rain showers.

It's great...now, if they'd only do something about the murder rate....

And so it begins. ::sigh:: I hate living in Florida.

i have to apologize to dave and everyone. i finally have not only a date but a party to go to next saturday. so now, all of florida must pay. this hurricane is all about me and ruining my plans. just in case we are spared, those of you in the tampa bay area write me off blog for an invite. and hey, if we're not spared, i've already got a room booked at the tampa mariott that i can share with the homeless among us.

The Jolly Roger no longer exists. There was one in the Disneyland neighborhood, but....

And you can bid on a domain name in case, you know, there are like victims 'n stuff . . .

Keep safe, Dave & Judi.

Dam! That's awful! Y'all can come camp out in my backyard if you want to. I'll smoke y'all some chicken and will only charge you cost. You might want to bring your generator too.

Jolly: Doesn't surprise me. Them fire ants'll use ANY given excuse to get all riled up. Should see 'em around here after a hailstorm. (Least they haven't invaded the house, yet. Only ants in the house are those new bizarre-looking trap-jaw ants we've recently acquired.)

ok...so where's Ernesto NOW????


southerngirl! pack up n dash on over to so.cal!
(bring the whole crew, we'll figure it out;)

OMG OMG OMG!!!!! IF the hurricane wasn't ENOUGH???

Barely ManEnough is gonna sing at the Emmys!!!!

Forget C-land. the Best in the West is up here in portland, for sure. this hurricane thing is a worry still for us, since our 'rents are still on the gulf coast along with a house we are still paying on.

Still though, since moving up here it seems to be a whole new bag o'yucks. just a few:

* volcanoes-- such pesky things, what with all the ashfall and noxious gasses. st helens adorns our skyline, and mt hood is right in my backyard. just a matter of time.

* tsunamis-- latest thing all the eco-nuts out here are yapping about. our coast is plastered with 'tsunami hazard zone' signs, the perfect backdrop for a seaside picnic with the kids. nestled in the willamette valley, portland will be a giant soup bowl but we're banking that living up on a hilltop at 1,000 feet might save our hides.

* wildfires-- for our once-a-decade-sans-kids-trip we were planning to backpack the loop around mt hood, until we realized half the mountain's on fire. whoops. according to inciweb there are dozens of active fires in OR alone

* freakish winds-- we live at the top of some little gnome-like mountains just outside the city, and the winds just whip across the ridgeline at hurricane force speeds. the shingles have been peeled off my roof, and huge douglas fir branches snap like twigs. scares the hell out of the cats.

OK, that being said hurricanes are still damn scary. we went through Ivan. actually, our son was in teh hospital for chemo during Ivan and the hospital fared worse than our house. all the patients were moved out into the halls at 2am for fear of the windows breaking. good times, good times. luckily we were tweeking off the 8 starbuck's lattes we downed that night, so pacing the halls for 8 hours with a grumpy baby didn't seem so arduous. much care and concern for you guys from portland!

off topic emmys update-- here's manilow. Stay away from NBC for a few minutes, guys. Hit that remote.


ok...he's done now...

Speaking of NOOOOO, Manilow just won! Over Hugh Jackman!!!

OMG OMG OMG!! HE won an Emmy!!! why????? I thought his time on tv was OVER??

Gradgirl: I personally exprienced the S.F. earthquake (during the playoffs - or whatever they were - Giants vs. A's). It literally came rolling; instead of falling to my knees, the ground came up and put me on my knees. It was over in less than a minute.
As for Oregon, I've been seriously looking at property up there. The tsunami warning signs every few miles scare me! More than any quake!


earthquakes are freaky. all the hot water heaters are bolted to the walls here; no one really wants to tell me why....
property values are going up here-- get it whilst you can.

Hey, sgirl...should I come see you?

My roof still leaks from Wilma repairs! Screw the hurricane shutters.

@ the less-than-great BM - it's a good thing I have TiVo. Not so much so that I can rewind it to see the performance again, but so that I can pause it, post this, and than fast forward past his sorry ass.

Good luck to all in FL...

Gawd...another hurricane...I guess this means we have to watch Anderson Cooper posing in a squall jacket in front of waves again...

Thanks AFKAT. And I don't necessarily think looking at And. C. is a bad thing. I mean it could be worse, like BM, for instance.

*snork* @ fud

don't you know the whole state of Florida is ALWAYS in the cone of death???

I enjoy the wacky weather people wading in the water...and blowing in the wind LOL

Is it wrong to bet on which one blows (away) first?

probably someone from CNN or our own Channel 7 reporters...always in the thick of it...yellow ponchos flapping...screeching into the mics...LOVE it!

I had an ex named Ernesto...why didn't he stay in the ocean where I dropped him? (hopes no one in law enforcement hears this)

Also, my husband reports 24 has already won 2 Emmy's but the article didn't say which ones?! I'm hoping for "Best Use of the Random Plot Generator."

"Best use of a Sack™"

"Most Awesome Tasering"

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