FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSES WILL BE SENT
...to the woman and the dog.
(Thanks to, according to judi, "one million people")
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...to the woman and the dog.
(Thanks to, according to judi, "one million people")
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"Li paid for repairs."
Well, Duh.
Posted by: mudstuffin | August 28, 2006 at 02:00 PM
The dog deserves the Florida license. The woman, not so much.
Posted by: Clean Hands | August 28, 2006 at 02:01 PM
Li has got to be Chinese for Paris.
Posted by: fivver | August 28, 2006 at 02:01 PM
This being China, though, the dog may by now be in a bit of a stew. :-)
Posted by: Clean Hands | August 28, 2006 at 02:02 PM
*snork* CH!
That woman is stooopid! Everyone knows only CATS can drive! duh....
Posted by: Siouxie | August 28, 2006 at 02:04 PM
according to judi, "one million people
One million people what? Danced the macarena? Were shot in the thigh by Jack Bauer? We need to know!
Posted by: Stev0 | August 28, 2006 at 02:06 PM
What color was the dog?
I found it amusing that steering wheel was a hyperlink to related topics.
Posted by: MOTW | August 28, 2006 at 02:08 PM
I thought about sending this in but knew I would be only one of many!
So, was the woman crouching down while the dog steered? And if so, I am getting a very disturbing image in my head...
Posted by: kitten | August 28, 2006 at 02:08 PM
The woman, identified only be her surname, Li . . .
uh, yeah. that narrows it down.
Posted by: queensbee | August 28, 2006 at 02:13 PM
reminds me of Talledega Nights commercial....
Posted by: Chaz (in the cone of death with Siouxie) | August 28, 2006 at 02:15 PM
A Florida driver's licence should also be on its way to this Detroit-area teenager.
Posted by: Chris | August 28, 2006 at 02:20 PM
The teenage driver told police he was text-messaging on the phone....
thus he avoided the good cop/bad cop interrogation that was inevitable...
Posted by: Chaz | August 28, 2006 at 02:27 PM
The moron in Detroit and the Li woman in China both need to be euthanized. The poor dog has already been roasted for sure.
Posted by: wickedwitch | August 28, 2006 at 02:27 PM
First the dog then the texting teen what's next???
Posted by: Addicted to 24 | August 28, 2006 at 02:29 PM
...And on the story from Detroit, there was an ad for recieving weather & traffic updates on your phone.
OFFICER: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
TEENAGER: "Uh, sorry occifer. I was just reading about this accident on my phone and uh... yeah."
OFFICER: *thump*
Posted by: Clean Hands | August 28, 2006 at 02:30 PM
Bwaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahaha!!!
What an idiot!
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | August 28, 2006 at 02:31 PM
Too bad these two can only be Darwin award nominees. Enter them both in the people are stupid fan club. My church's youth minister says the students text message during discipleship classes and church! Even saw one dope answer his cell phone during the sermon and talked for a couple of minutes! The future looks bleak.
Posted by: sweet pea | August 28, 2006 at 02:35 PM
Anyone else think of Toonces the Driving Cat from Saturday Night Live? He wasn't very good either.
Posted by: Adora | August 28, 2006 at 02:39 PM
Cheer up, sweet pea! Soon, we'll be able to have implants, so you won't have to listen in on the dinner plans from the nimrod down the pew from you.
On the other hand, it'll get even more difficult to tell businessmen apart from the stark raving nutters shouting to themselves on the street.
Posted by: Clean Hands | August 28, 2006 at 02:39 PM
I will admit I texted during Church once.....and I do do it while driving...but I dont drive slow when I am doing it. I, unlike most south florida morons, can do two things at once
I swear, when it rains here, the windsheild wipers confuse most drivers as they go back and forth
I used to drive faster in 2 inches of snow then these people do in the rain...
just shoot me......
Posted by: Chaz | August 28, 2006 at 02:40 PM
whole lotta snorkin' goin' on.
Posted by: packsaddle | August 28, 2006 at 02:45 PM
I had to take the keys away from my Border collie. Every time he drove we ended up at Pet Smart.
Posted by: pogo | August 28, 2006 at 02:47 PM
Adora, that's what I was referring to when I mentioned up there that only cats can drive...Toonces drives better than most here in Miami.
Posted by: Siouxie | August 28, 2006 at 02:47 PM
Chaz, I've some experience driving both in 2 inches of snow, and in a South Florida rainstorm.
I, too, would drive faster with two inches of snow on the ground than I would when I cannot see the car in front of me for the rain between our vehicles.
Did I ever tell you about the time that someone tried to kill me on a Florida highway, by tossing a refrigerator box at me? ISIANMTU. Right after leaving the Miami airport, and having turned down the rental car agency's CDW coverage.
Fortunately, I am not a South Florida driver, so my reflexes were fast enough to dodge the box. I didn't stick around long enough to see whether it had a fridge in it or not.
Posted by: Clean Hands | August 28, 2006 at 02:48 PM
Off topic a tad--phone implants (GNFAB?) reminds me of driving in Nashville and passing an obviously mentally ill person who was yelling at the top of his lungs. My hubby and I debate on the object of his wrath--manhole or blade of grass. Either way, made sure the doors were locked. And this was definitely before bluetooth and such.
Posted by: sweet pea | August 28, 2006 at 02:54 PM
my mother says she has a third cousin who was killed by a mattress flying off the back of a truck. I have no idea if that's just family legend or not.
Posted by: Betsi | August 28, 2006 at 02:54 PM
ISIANMTU
I have never had a refrigerator thrown at me while driving (me, not the refrigerator) on the interstate.
Posted by: blurk | August 28, 2006 at 02:54 PM
I occasionally see box springs along the freeways out here. They generally look as though they've fared approximately as well as the deer that sometimes accompany them on the roadside.
What a deer is doing in the middle of the road on a box spring, I do not want to know.
Posted by: Clean Hands | August 28, 2006 at 02:59 PM
Yeah, well, I guess I must have done something to provoke them, blurk.
Maybe I startled them by using my turn signal.
Posted by: Clean Hands | August 28, 2006 at 03:00 PM
CH, I wouldn't wanna know either...
Posted by: Siouxie | August 28, 2006 at 03:01 PM
There was a sad news item here in ATL a few years ago. A guy was killed when a portapotty fell off a truck on an expressway and came through his windshield.
Insult added to injury.
Posted by: pogo | August 28, 2006 at 03:02 PM
pogo, I dare say that it added more than insult.
Sh!tty way to die.
Hey, somebody had to say it.
Posted by: blurk | August 28, 2006 at 03:04 PM
Can you imagine the guy who had to tell the widow and keep a straight face.
Posted by: pogo | August 28, 2006 at 03:05 PM
I have got to think that that's where the writers for Dead Like Me got the idea for "toilet seat girl."
Posted by: Clean Hands | August 28, 2006 at 03:07 PM
"I never said he could drive WELL . . ."
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | August 28, 2006 at 03:09 PM
there were a bunch of people that got impaled by road debris down here.
the weirdest thing I ever saw on the side of the road was a giant screen TV...rear projection. D'oh
Posted by: Chaz | August 28, 2006 at 03:11 PM
He should really stick to horseback riding . . .
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | August 28, 2006 at 03:11 PM
"But officer, he was the only one sober!"
I have to admit to having a horse take me home when I'd had a few, and that worked out ok.
Posted by: Wyo Cowboy | August 28, 2006 at 03:13 PM
That is one very disturbing image, MKJ.
(Or do I just have a hyperactive dirty mind??)
Posted by: Clean Hands | August 28, 2006 at 03:13 PM
I always feel bad when I see someone whose brand new furniture flies out of their truck. And then I think "what moron would get on the highway with furniture in their truck and NOT tie it down?" Then I just point and laugh.
Posted by: kitten | August 28, 2006 at 03:14 PM
anyone ever hit a deer? I did...thats scary
Posted by: Chaz | August 28, 2006 at 03:15 PM
Chaz & CH: last year while driving I-95 in Florida I had to dodge a padded comfy chair sitting in the second lane. A few miles further on we passed a Mexican family in an ancient open truck with the rest of the living room furniture. A 10 year old boy was riding in the back trying to keep from losing the rest of it.
ISIANMTU
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | August 28, 2006 at 03:17 PM
Perhaps Ms. Li thought her dog was a Greyhound.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | August 28, 2006 at 03:17 PM
no but I once hit an old man that was crossing the street...HIS fault totally!!
Posted by: Siouxie | August 28, 2006 at 03:18 PM
Jeff - makes you wonder where that family's priorities are! sheesh!
Posted by: kitten | August 28, 2006 at 03:20 PM
The real reason for the crash is the dog forgot to use his hand signals. They're stupid that way.
Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn | August 28, 2006 at 03:21 PM
I've hit a deer. Not fun.
Deer snot all over the windshield.
Watched my headlights pop out and go bouncing merrily down the road.
Fortunately, this happened right in front of someone's hunting cabin, so the deer did not go to waste. Tenderized, even.
Posted by: Clean Hands | August 28, 2006 at 03:21 PM
I almost got hit by a house once. I was pulled off and stopped on the side of the road so this house moving crew could get past and they came within a couple of feet of taking the top of my car off. I could see myself trying to explain that one to Allstate.
Posted by: fivver | August 28, 2006 at 03:21 PM
Wyo: was a dog steering (driving?)
;-)
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | August 28, 2006 at 03:22 PM
CH, old geezer snot on the windshield is NOT purty either!!!
Posted by: Siouxie | August 28, 2006 at 03:25 PM
Chaz, I've hit deer, and they have hit me, but with This Bumper I don't much notice.
MKJ, the dog was passed out at the party. Saw him limping home the next day.
Posted by: Wyo Cowboy | August 28, 2006 at 03:25 PM
dang Wyo, can you come and steer Ernesto away from Miami with that thang????
Posted by: Siouxie | August 28, 2006 at 03:27 PM
wyo, i have a similar story, only when i've been drunk it's been jackasses that carry me home.
Posted by: crossgirl | August 28, 2006 at 03:27 PM
Wyo - I would love to have that bumper and pummel all the jerks that run red lights well after my light has turned green!!!! "oops, sorry I demolished your car - I've barely got a scratch!"
Posted by: kitten | August 28, 2006 at 03:27 PM
Hope your geezer didn't wind up the way my deer did, hung up for dressing in a tree before the tow truck even arrived.
Mrs. Hands used to work at a job processing insurance paperwork. Saw a pic of a car that had hit a road crew worker... it had an imprint of his face on the hood. *shudder*
Posted by: Clean Hands | August 28, 2006 at 03:29 PM
it does give one a sense of well being.
Cross, maybe you and I should give up drinkin'.
... nah.
Posted by: Wyo Cowboy | August 28, 2006 at 03:29 PM
Wyo: that's not a bumper, that's a cow-catcher . . .
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | August 28, 2006 at 03:30 PM
nah
Posted by: crossgirl | August 28, 2006 at 03:31 PM
CH, the geezer was ok...couple of broken bones...hair line skull fracture...no biggie...but my car had a DENT!!!!! sheesh!!!
Posted by: Siouxie | August 28, 2006 at 03:33 PM
Then again, gas probably doesn't cost as much in dog dollars . . .
Posted by: Mahatma Kane Jeeves | August 28, 2006 at 03:34 PM
Deer snot beats deer booty. Three doe ambling across the interstate at 5AM. All three lived to tell the tale, however.
Posted by: sippisnooky | August 28, 2006 at 03:45 PM
Breaking news, off topic...
Posted by: Wyo Cowboy | August 28, 2006 at 03:50 PM
Wyo, blurk - will you guys come out here and round up yer dang coyotes? They aren't native here, and now we got 'em in the neighborhood here.
Posted by: pogo | August 28, 2006 at 03:51 PM
her brother did it
Posted by: kitten | August 28, 2006 at 03:51 PM
So... the guy was just an attention wh0re? Who knew?
Posted by: Clean Hands | August 28, 2006 at 03:53 PM
sheesh..he coulda just done a Paris and released a sex tape or somethin'
Posted by: Siouxie | August 28, 2006 at 03:55 PM
Can't do that, pogo. some non-Wyo residents insisted the feds reintroduce wolves here. We tried to tell 'em. Now the coyotes are bookin' out of the country. Tough cookies.
Posted by: Wyo Cowboy | August 28, 2006 at 03:55 PM
Siouxie! How's the weather down there in The Cone of Death these days?
Posted by: WeatherB | August 28, 2006 at 03:55 PM
its a very nice day out...except for people waiting for gas
Posted by: Chaz | August 28, 2006 at 03:56 PM
cowboy, not only off topic, but NOT funny. shame on you. no more beer.
Posted by: crossgirl | August 28, 2006 at 03:56 PM
We used to have red wolves here. They're nearly extinct. They kept the deer herds managed. Coyotes aren't any good at that.
Posted by: pogo | August 28, 2006 at 03:57 PM
Siouxie, where is the hurricane party? Fritz and Frans?
Posted by: Chaz | August 28, 2006 at 03:59 PM
Further info: From perky 9 news team
if any one cares.
Posted by: Wyo Cowboy | August 28, 2006 at 03:59 PM
The weather is gorgeous...you'd never know that we're all ABOUT TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
uh...I'm ok now..really!
Posted by: Siouxie | August 28, 2006 at 04:00 PM
We're gettin' the same problem up here, Wyo. Do these *bleep* treehuggers know how much money a rancher loses everytime a calf is lost to one of those d@mned wolves?
Posted by: blurk | August 28, 2006 at 04:00 PM
sorry, Cross, don't click the link.
Posted by: Wyo Cowboy | August 28, 2006 at 04:01 PM
This turd just wanted a free ride back from Thailand... and to avoid spending time on the Thai prisons for whatever he did that was so serious that it drew the attention of law enforcement there... the mind boggles.
Posted by: Clean Hands | August 28, 2006 at 04:02 PM
My dad once hit a deer when I was about three or four. My mom and I went to go get him at the site of the crash, since the car had to go to a garage to be fixed. According to my mom, when we got to the scene I asked "Mommy,is that Bambi?"
My mother replied, "No, Bambi isn't stupid enough to jump in front of cars."
I was okay with some random animal dying as long as it wasn't Bambi.
Posted by: almne | August 28, 2006 at 04:04 PM
Chaz, I'm SURE there's a party @ Fritz & Frans! you know Miamians never shy away from a hurricane party...it's our reward for standing in line all day :)
Posted by: Siouxie | August 28, 2006 at 04:05 PM
did some one say party? do they have a hitchin rail for the horses? I'll need a ride home.
Posted by: Wyo Cowboy | August 28, 2006 at 04:08 PM
I'm sure we can find you a ride home, Wyo...
You can catch the Ernesto Express...course that'll blow ya to North Carolina.
Posted by: Siouxie | August 28, 2006 at 04:12 PM
Siouxie - is it really pretty there? It's always wierd to watch the news after a huge storm hits. They're always standing amidst destruction, but the sky is the most beautiful blue!
Posted by: kitten | August 28, 2006 at 04:14 PM
kitten, you really wouldn't know there's a hurricane about to destroy every living soul in the state :)
it's awesome outside...
Posted by: Siouxie | August 28, 2006 at 04:17 PM
Siouxie- Also, I'm hearing tentative good news that it may make landfall as a TS. We can hope.
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | August 28, 2006 at 05:05 PM
Lisa, I sure hope so! by the time it get up your way it probably will be just a rainstorm...
Posted by: Siouxie | August 28, 2006 at 05:11 PM
sends an "s" up there
Posted by: Siouxie | August 28, 2006 at 05:11 PM
Hopefully for you too. Dare I say...maybe Dave's generator will save us again?
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | August 28, 2006 at 05:17 PM
I'm tellin' ya, Lisa, hunker. HUNKER!
Posted by: blurk | August 28, 2006 at 05:37 PM
I'm HOPING Lisa..if not we'll all go crash at Dave's house!
blurk...I'm ahunkerin'!
Posted by: Siouxie | August 28, 2006 at 05:39 PM
blurk-I realize you’re speaking militarily, however speaking hurricanily…oh what the hell. I’m hunkering! *wink*
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | August 28, 2006 at 06:22 PM
Did the dog have a license?
Posted by: stevie w | August 28, 2006 at 06:31 PM
not sure, stevie but I think he had a tag...
Posted by: Siouxie | August 28, 2006 at 06:46 PM