FLORIDA...

A Neighborly Place

Comments

[will]

snakes on a m-f'n neighbor?

[Clean Hands]

Snakes on the brain?

[Siouxie]

"I don't like, and don't want anybody wagging one in my face."

I can't bring myself to comment on this one...

*you'll thank me later, mary*

[vanityball]

My mom always told me that snake wagging is not socially acceptable behavior.

[kitten]

Siouxie - there are so many ways to comment on this article, it's like shotting fish in a barrel. I, as well, will abstain

[Clean Hands]

*snork* @ Siouxie - and a three-way simulfirst. Fun fun!

[packsaddle]

herpetologically speaking,

(i didn't really have anything to say...i just wanted to use the word "herpetologically" to make me look smart)

[blurk]

I'd of shot the sonofab!tch.

AND the snake.

[Siouxie]

woooo hoooo!

Now wag that THANG away from my face, CH!! sheesh!

[Betsi]

am i the only one who found this article confusing? I don't get it, but I guess it's not worth the extra effort to try again.

[Siouxie]

Betsi, I stopped reading cuz it confused me as well...then again I am very easily distr...

OH LOOK SHINY!!!

[Clean Hands]

It's simple, Betsi: Neighbor 1 complained to Neighbor 2 that he didn't like Neighbor 2's snake.

Neighbor 2 "assaulted" Neighbor 1 by wagging the snake in question in Neighbor 1's face.

Neighbor 1 called the police, who suppressed massive snorkage and arrested Neighbor 2.

It's a classic boy-meets-snake, boy-fears-snake, police-are-called story.

[Betsi]

so where did the girlfriend come in?

[Siouxie]

the girlfriend took the guy's snake and yanked it around or somethin'...right?

[Betsi]

hm, nothing new there haha

[Siouxie]

wait..

maybe I didn't quite read that right...

[Stevie W]

He was aspin' for it.

[Clean Hands]

I guess I missed the girlfriend in all the snake-on-neighbor action. Oops.

So, the plot thickens... This is getting hard difficult.

[Fast Eddie]

Yeah, this was all a little confusing. Snake this, snake that, girlfriend chasing the neighbor around with a snake...yadda yadda yadda. And then after reading the article for the third time I finally picked up:

"Police said Birnberg got a knife and threatened his neighbor with it and then beat the man."

OH! THAT'S why he got arrested for assault and battery. So, I would conclude that it is actually still legal to wag your snake in someone else's face, just not socially acceptable. (Although we are speaking of Florida)

[Wally Ballou]

Additional fact - after the snake waggage, neighbor 1 (the non-herpetophile, or ophidiophobe) grabbed Neighbor 2's snake and "threw it on the ground", so I think we can say there were faults on both sides. I think we can also safely say that Dave would not have touched the neighbor's snake, no matter how annoyed he was - unless he could do it by remote control from a platform in orbit.

[crossgirl]

it was an asp-sault and boa-ttery.
yeah, i got nothin'.

[mudstuffin, dropping the annoyingly long moniker]

it seems our dear blog is obsessed with snakes
I wonder what sense of this Freud would make….?

yo

Like Indiana jones in an airplane cockpit
You grab the throttle and a bottle - your brain is yellin’ “stop it!”
They’re slithering and rattling and winding like spring
Sliding up your leg like they was comin’ for your love thing
Deadly venom in their mouths, a hiss that smells like fear
You feel ice water in your veins when that rattlin’ is near
The strike is fast – it zooms right past – you close your eyes in pain
You grab the beast – the venom released – black lightning in your brain

SNAKES!
Call Dr. Freud! What Pill Should he Take?
Our beloved blog is obsessed with snakes!

SNAKES!
Call Dr. Freud! What Pill Should he Take?
Our beloved blog is obsessed with snakes!

Let’s see if we can’t work this out….

We got SQUIRRELS!
Now everbody knows that a squirrel ain’t nothing no-how
a furry little sammich, a walking bowl of snake-chow

FLORIDA DRIVERS!
They’re found in trees, and Wal-Mart stores and continually alarming
Just like a snake – they got no brakes and they hit you without warning

RAMPARTS!
Soft and round, no ill is found, dispensing love and goodness
The opposite of snakes, perhaps, a foothold against madness

SEVERED PENIS!
Paging Dr. Freud! Paging Dr. Freud!

* * * * * * * *

We got snakes in the bathtub, snakes in the toilet
And we found in Thailand that they stir-fry and boil it
Snakes in the garden, snakes in your hair
Snakes in disguise, you’re so surprised! Replace that underwear.
You take an axe – give forty whacks and with your hatchet you dispatch it
Stomp and grind them with your boots watch the guts squish and blood shoot
Scoop their brains out with a spoon, your eyes they swell like two balloons
You twist them and you pull them and you grind them with your teeth
And spitting scales, your heart it fails, your nervous system freeze.

SNAKES!
Call Dr. Freud! What Pill Should he Take?
Our beloved blog is obsessed with snakes

SNAKES!
Call Dr. Freud! What Pill Should he Take?
Our beloved blog is obsessed with snakes

[yanya8]

"You should not probably put (a snake) in their faces. It will probably cause an adverse effect," Fox said.

Hmmm..ya think? What a brilliant observation.

[Siouxie]

wow, mud...

musta been one hell of an ointment!

*applauds*

[Clean Hands]

Impressive, mudstuffin. Good stuff!!

[Betsi]

hm, what song is that a parody of?

[slyeyes]

....after his snake was allegedly used to attack his neighbor.

Doesn't one of the Commandments deal with that?

[mudstuffin]

betsi: it's original. no parody. i wrote it last night and just saved it for the next snake post.

[Brad]

They don't mention what kind of snake it was or how long. I hope it wasn't a 4 inch trouser snake.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Snakes On A Face. :)

[insomniac]

neighbor should have suspect's bumper sticker:
"You can have my snake when you pry it from my cold,dead hands."

[Betsi]

mudstuffin...even better!!! hysterical stuff! (i just always feel out of the loop because i don't know some of the songs you guys parody sometimes)

[DavetheRed in the stench of smoke]

What a charmer.

[Siouxie]

that would have been sad, Brad...

just sayin'

[Brad]

Yeah, very sad. Hey, did anyone else notice that the perky news team is staying as far away from this one as possible? They don't even show up in the banner.

[Eleanor]

Dave the R, still smelling, is it?
{{{DtR}}}

[daisyj]

Police ask the public to take the incident as a lesson not to use snakes to threaten people.

Something we all need to take to heart, don't you think?

[xbalanke]

Reminds me of the Far Side cartoon where the boy is chasing a girl, threatening her with a snake he's holding.

The caption: And the poor young reptile was traumatized for life.