BREAKING BARBIE UPDATE
Barbie has changed.
(Thanks to wolfie)
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August 30, 2006
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Not a first
Posted by: Chaz | August 30, 2006 at 01:50 PM
Can I name my daughter Ivory and not have her laughed at?
Posted by: Juggler of Geese | August 30, 2006 at 01:51 PM
didnt, like, "Tickel Me Elmo" swear at some kids a while back?
Can you just hear Barb singing "Do you wanna touch me there?" kinda stuff...
that slut
Posted by: Chaz | August 30, 2006 at 01:53 PM
She's been hangin' around GI Joe.
Posted by: Wyo Cowboy | August 30, 2006 at 01:54 PM
How exactly do you "take it off her?" I have a 7th grader who needs a few words taken off him.
Any ideas, blog stars?
Posted by: Meditrina | August 30, 2006 at 01:55 PM
med, short of a larynxectomy, no.
Posted by: Wyo Cowboy | August 30, 2006 at 01:57 PM
True story: When my oldest was a baby, she had a doll with a plastic head, arms and legs and a cloth torso. In the stuffing in the torso was a little electronic device that when pressed, would make a crying sound.
A friend of mine about the same time got a keychain type device that emitted things sounding like "duck shoe" "eat zit" "urine hassle", etc. Using a razor blade, needle and thread, we replaced the original device with the one issuing profanity.
The timing was perfect. The next day my wife's friend from Korea came for a visit with her 3 year old daughter. The girl picked up the doll and before long the doll was heard to remark "Duck shoe! Duck shoe! Eat zit! Eat zit!"
My wife tried to ignore it, but the woman asked "What does "Duck shoe" mean?"
That was fifteen years ago, and she's still pissed.
Posted by: mudstuffin | August 30, 2006 at 01:58 PM
*snork* @ urine hassle!
Posted by: Leetie | August 30, 2006 at 02:04 PM
HERE!
*looks for Boo, Cruise Directors, instructions*
Dang! Ok, wing it!
... careful not to upset the natives ...
Posted by: Kibby F5™ | August 30, 2006 at 02:04 PM
She married a Fisher man and she claims to have standards?!
Posted by: Mr.Fisher | August 30, 2006 at 02:05 PM
*goes off to read wolfie's story*
*wonders if there's a "personal" angle to it*
*finds wolfies phone number for text message - just in case*
Posted by: Kibby F5™ | August 30, 2006 at 02:08 PM
Actually, I was thinking along the lines of a turkey sammich, but I totally held back.
Posted by: Leetie | August 30, 2006 at 02:08 PM
So that is where the extra Twitney DNA went to...
Posted by: Mrs. Mad Scientist Weasel | August 30, 2006 at 02:09 PM
mattel must be running low on career options for barbie if they've got her into phone sex.
Posted by: crossgirl | August 30, 2006 at 02:10 PM
Hey! What do you expect for a pound fifty ($3)? Spend more and she'd get the upgraded words!
Cheep Mum!
Posted by: Kibby F5™ | August 30, 2006 at 02:11 PM
Primed, lubed, and stoked!
I ~heart~ leetie
Posted by: wolfie | August 30, 2006 at 02:13 PM
*Loves Leetie a Little mayo*
sorry, I've never been able to hold that back.
Posted by: Mr.Fisher | August 30, 2006 at 02:13 PM
*spreads out the slip-n-slide and greases it up*
Posted by: Leetie | August 30, 2006 at 02:13 PM
Mad! You really gotta keep better tabs on that schtuff.
Posted by: Kibby F5™ | August 30, 2006 at 02:14 PM
*looks to download Naughty Barbie ringtone to her phone*
Naughty Barbie and the ringtones WBAGNFARB
Posted by: Mrs. Mad Scientist Weasel | August 30, 2006 at 02:14 PM
Fisher, that's a good thing.
*adds mayo to work up a froth on the slip-n-slide*
Posted by: Leetie | August 30, 2006 at 02:15 PM
*looks at slip(e) and slide*
Well, primed and lubbed are covered!
*looks to Peri for the "stoking" part*
OOOOH! Gotta e-mail BigD about the trip!
Posted by: Kibby F5™ | August 30, 2006 at 02:16 PM
Well Kibby we need to bribe Fluffy and Pliskin with some more snicker doodles to better guard the lab. Apparantly they let someone in to steal a corndog and egg salad.
Posted by: Mrs. Mad Scientist Weasel | August 30, 2006 at 02:16 PM
urine hassle!
hah!
(took me a minute to get that one)
Posted by: Trillian | August 30, 2006 at 02:17 PM
kibby also email Meanie the blue
Posted by: Mrs. Mad Scientist Weasel | August 30, 2006 at 02:17 PM
Lab Specimen has very naughty thoughts.
Posted by: Leetie | August 30, 2006 at 02:18 PM
Here with the hammocks and cabana boys!
Posted by: KDF | August 30, 2006 at 02:18 PM
I'd like one hammock and one well rested cabana boy please.
Posted by: wolfie | August 30, 2006 at 02:19 PM
The egg salad recipe is top secret. Kibby might not have security clearance.
Posted by: bbescuela | August 30, 2006 at 02:19 PM
How about a ham hock and a ripe banana boy, wolfie?
Posted by: bbescuela | August 30, 2006 at 02:21 PM
Trill - it took me a while, too. must be the allergy meds.
Posted by: OkieDokie | August 30, 2006 at 02:21 PM
or possibly two hammocks and one whipped cream covered fish.
But I can't tell you why I'd need both hammocks. At least, not until I'm ready to take the trick on the road.
Posted by: wolfie | August 30, 2006 at 02:22 PM
*waves at everyone already here*
Naughty Barbie and the Ringtones sounds like a retro band with a swearing problem whose "synth" consists of several mobile phones.
But they do not do covers of that damn Barbie song.
Posted by: Marie in Kourou | August 30, 2006 at 02:22 PM
Lab, would you please cool it with the dang vacuum? We're busy with cabana boys!
Posted by: KDF | August 30, 2006 at 02:22 PM
ok, who's got the e-mail notes? I just speed heinzed and couldn't find who's missing the linkie thingie to get here.
anyone? Eleanor?
Posted by: Kibby F5™ | August 30, 2006 at 02:23 PM
Can we have a private demo of the double hammock trick, Wolfie?
Posted by: Marie in Kourou | August 30, 2006 at 02:23 PM
No email needed, Kibby.
I've gotta hammock with some room to spare, Wolfie. And I've been practicing my slathering.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | August 30, 2006 at 02:23 PM
And then there's that whole urine hassle thing.
Posted by: Leetie | August 30, 2006 at 02:23 PM
Well, I don't know, KDF, they might come in handy. I can think of something the cabana boys can do with the vacuum cleaners.
Posted by: Marie in Kourou | August 30, 2006 at 02:24 PM
Barbie says bad word
Little girl sings barbie's song
Mum rings the paper
Potty mouth Barbie
lets six year olds practice now
for their teenage years
pink phones I like not
pink phones with foul language
would make me snork loud
This might be a hiku
Posted by: Mrs. Mad Scientist Weasel | August 30, 2006 at 02:24 PM
Meanie, the Blue just posted. He should'a seen the linkie thingie.
*goes back for stragglers*
Posted by: Kibby F5™ | August 30, 2006 at 02:25 PM
I'm a barbie girl,
in the barbie world
Life in plastic,
it's fantastic!
you can brush my hair,
undress me everywhere
*giggles and runs from thrown sock o'nickels(trademarkthingie)*
Is he ripe enough to peel bb?
(why does that look pervie?)
Posted by: wolfie | August 30, 2006 at 02:25 PM
*starts undressing Wolfie*
Posted by: Marie in Kourou | August 30, 2006 at 02:27 PM
*loads pillowcase full of nickels in the howitzer*
Posted by: Leetie | August 30, 2006 at 02:27 PM
wOuldn't it be a bigger insult to be called urine hasslehof. Hof should so name his kid urine.
Posted by: Mrs. Mad Scientist Weasel | August 30, 2006 at 02:27 PM
Wolfie, Shamrock and Chips Ahoy™?
Posted by: KDF | August 30, 2006 at 02:28 PM
HERE! Private (n sometimes in public) Kaf reporting for duty.
Posted by: Kafaleni | August 30, 2006 at 02:29 PM
*streches fingers*
Whew, that jumping back and forth's hard. Glad to see ya Blue!
Got Roboted while back there so slightly delayed my return. Miss anything? Where's the locals?
Wolfie! Sign me up for the private showing too!
Posted by: Kibby F5™ | August 30, 2006 at 02:29 PM
what exactly do you think the swear word was? Bugger? Arse? Yankee?
Posted by: Mrs. Mad Scientist Weasel | August 30, 2006 at 02:29 PM
*drives up with a truckload of nickles for Leetie*
Posted by: bbescuela | August 30, 2006 at 02:29 PM
Barbie's had a hard life,*** dammit!
Posted by: Beppie | August 30, 2006 at 02:29 PM
Wolfie.. ya need some butt butter to go with that Fish?
Posted by: Kafaleni | August 30, 2006 at 02:30 PM
When Hasselhoff drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.
Posted by: Leetie | August 30, 2006 at 02:30 PM
I went over to the gift shop, and all they have are phones with Barbie cussing and a dead parrot.
I hope Bangie shows up
Posted by: slyeyes | August 30, 2006 at 02:31 PM
It may be too late over at Bangi's, Sly. Not sure, but it's probably already late evening.
Posted by: Marie in Kourou | August 30, 2006 at 02:32 PM
Mad, I'm not cleared for the Egg Salad recipie. But I'll see about getting more snickerdoodles to keep the bribes down ... They're a tuff pair though, and hungry.
I figure if Barbie "HAD" to dump Ken and packup with this other fella, she's due a few PC incorrect words.
Posted by: Kibby F5™ | August 30, 2006 at 02:33 PM
*snorking at Leetie*
Posted by: slyeyes | August 30, 2006 at 02:33 PM
*Checks pocket for cash*
*Finds a bunch o' nickels to donate to Leetie's pilowcase*
*Finds roll of quarters ..... actually, no....*
*Is happy to see everyone*
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | August 30, 2006 at 02:34 PM
*brings in extra whipped cream*
Can never have too much.
*wonders what wolfie will do with the hammocks and whipped cream*
Ohhh...
Here!!!!!
Posted by: Susan | August 30, 2006 at 02:35 PM
*wonders what Barbie's doing with a dead parrot*
Posted by: Kibby F5™ | August 30, 2006 at 02:36 PM
She was way overdue for a few swear words, given Ken's *ahem* unfortunate, erm, condition.
Posted by: Marie in Kourou | August 30, 2006 at 02:36 PM
Have any of you guys ever met someone named Barbie?
Posted by: Marie in Kourou | August 30, 2006 at 02:37 PM
*dons appropriate t-shirt *
Posted by: Trillian | August 30, 2006 at 02:37 PM
Leets, stop smelling the Hof's asparagus!
*ducks flying zeppelin full o' nickels*
Posted by: bbescuela | August 30, 2006 at 02:38 PM
Nope, but I knew a Fluffy.
And Whizzbang.
*digs hand into butt butter and comes up with a handful*
Okay, who's first? It's an essential part of the two hammock trick.
Posted by: wolfie | August 30, 2006 at 02:39 PM
Well... not everything...
Posted by: Marie in Kourou | August 30, 2006 at 02:39 PM
kibby dated a Barbie once - LOOOOOONNNNNGGGGG AGO.
knows a current one too - nothing happening though
Posted by: Kibby F5™ | August 30, 2006 at 02:39 PM
*snork at mud*
*is also happy to see everyone*
Posted by: Blogchik | August 30, 2006 at 02:39 PM
MiK - no, but I met a nurse named Bambi (ISIANMTU) when my wife had knee surgery.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | August 30, 2006 at 02:39 PM
Should we be taking notes, Wolfie?
Posted by: Marie in Kourou | August 30, 2006 at 02:40 PM
YAY!!! for butt butter, hold the mayo!
Here, let me introduce you to the mayo.....
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | August 30, 2006 at 02:41 PM
I'll wait for the video to come out MiK.
Posted by: bbescuela | August 30, 2006 at 02:41 PM
I'm good at taking notes...
Sometimes.
If I'm not distracted by..oooh something shiny---->
Posted by: Susan | August 30, 2006 at 02:41 PM
whew, almost two hours later, i figure out "urine hassle" but i had to say it out loud a few times. now everyone is sidling away from me.
Posted by: crossgirl | August 30, 2006 at 02:41 PM
Midget goes into a bordello and orders a gal for the evening.
After going upstairs they undress.
The "lady" looks at his winkie and starts to chuckle.
He says, "What's so funny?"
She replies, "WHO you going to satisfy with that!?"
Him, "... me ..."
Posted by: Kibby F5™ | August 30, 2006 at 02:42 PM
*smacks forehead* Now I get it!
Oooh, there will be a video? Lovely.
Posted by: Marie in Kourou | August 30, 2006 at 02:43 PM
I found this while googling hasselhoff and pee. And I'm cracking up.
Posted by: Leetie | August 30, 2006 at 02:44 PM
I figure while Ken was "lacking" he made up for it in other areas....
Can't keep a gal like Barbie that long without something...
Posted by: Kibby F5™ | August 30, 2006 at 02:45 PM
Woooooooo hooooooooooo!! *lines up for buttering*
D'ya think if someone had buttered Barbie a long time ago, she'd be less bitter about it now?
Posted by: Kafaleni | August 30, 2006 at 02:45 PM
My sister is a Barbie. Born before the other one.
Posted by: mudstuffin | August 30, 2006 at 02:45 PM
OK, i'm late, but i'm here
well, actually, since i'm only a little bit late, and usually i'm a lot late, i guess i'm actually early
either way, i'm here
Posted by: TCK | August 30, 2006 at 02:46 PM
How does she feel about the doll usurping her name, Mud?
Posted by: Marie in Kourou | August 30, 2006 at 02:48 PM
"Barbie buttered wasn't bitter"...that's the start of a tongue twister.
Posted by: bbescuela | August 30, 2006 at 02:48 PM
Thumper!!!
*grabs Thumper, ties him down*
You won't get away this time....
Posted by: Kafaleni | August 30, 2006 at 02:48 PM
This is way better than watching "ER", Noah Wyle or no Noah Wyle.
Posted by: Marie in Kourou | August 30, 2006 at 02:49 PM
Careful, Kaf, you'll make him late.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | August 30, 2006 at 02:49 PM
I found this while googling hasselhoff and pee.
There's a phrase you don't see every day.
*falls on floor giggling*
*butters the nearest butt*
Posted by: wolfie | August 30, 2006 at 02:49 PM
Leetie, believe it or not, I was a bit of a smart @ss in school, but that's one I never thought of. LOL. Way too obvious.
Posted by: Wyo Cowboy | August 30, 2006 at 02:49 PM
Tippi! You're alive! You haven't been around in ages!
Posted by: Marie in Kourou | August 30, 2006 at 02:50 PM
well, we're already more than double most of the posts for today. and we've only been here 1 hr, 5 mins.
*looks for stuff to put into the skeet shooter*
*wonders what happens if you pull The Hoff's finger*
Posted by: Kibby F5™ | August 30, 2006 at 02:50 PM
..but bitter Barbie batters a buttered Barbie's butt.
Posted by: Kafaleni | August 30, 2006 at 02:51 PM
Yea, I gotta give some credit to that student too! And who'd have thought that google combo would find a match?
Posted by: Kibby F5™ | August 30, 2006 at 02:51 PM
*considers that maybe he's more than just a little bit late*
Posted by: TCK | August 30, 2006 at 02:52 PM
It's time.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | August 30, 2006 at 02:52 PM
What I don't understand about this story is why the mother got a "similar" phone for the brother. I mean, I would be p*ssed if someone gave me a Barbie phone
Posted by: fan_of_homer | August 30, 2006 at 02:52 PM
It's a good thing I'm not cooking with butter tonight, or I'd have a hard time trying not to snork.
Posted by: Marie in Kourou | August 30, 2006 at 02:53 PM
mmmmm.. battered barbie butt
Wasn't that the specialty act at the club down the hall? Man the things she could do on that pole... erm.. I've said too much again.
Posted by: wolfie | August 30, 2006 at 02:53 PM
Here's another good one. I like the teacher's comment. :)
Posted by: Leetie | August 30, 2006 at 02:53 PM
Leetie...I won't even ask why you googled Hasselhoff and pee.
I will wonder quite a bit, but I won't ask.
*gets in line for butt buttering*
(It's been a looooooong time)
Posted by: Susan | August 30, 2006 at 02:54 PM
Marie in Kourou: (way up there^)
Actually my sister's name is Barbie.
IANMTU
'Course I've got 7 sisters so you can pretty much pick a name and I've probably got a sister with it.
Posted by: blurk | August 30, 2006 at 02:54 PM