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August 17, 2006


... Is on its way to this woman.

(Thanks to Mike Zlotnick)


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FIRST time through the place?

Usually it takes someone drunk to do that good...

usually you have to be in line at the burger drive-thru to get this kind of action.....

I wonder if her ankle braclet was beeping and it confused her

Or quite a lot older than 62. Maybe the Texas heat has caused premature aging?

In any case, I'm betting that the neighbor doesn't offer to let her drive his car again anytime soon.

And how many Natural Lights had she sipped before she drove the car? (It is a beer, isn't it?)

In retrospect, our remodel might have gone a lot faster with this little lady around to do the demolition...

the neighbor doesn't have a car to loan anymore

This story greatly amused my two co-workers - Thanks Judi

This is terrible. How is she going to get to work tomorrow?

hopefully there is a bus

see what happens when the cleaners scrub the wrong house and you refuse to pay?

The Crown Vic was prolly a resale from the Dallas police force.

"remained at home after the accident" - bet there's a nice breeze-way now

My first mental picture was of a confused little Miss Marple type elderly lady...then I got to the part about the beer and cigarettes. They just don't make old ladies like they used to. *burp*

Garland Co. Ark (where I live) is second only to Dade Co. Fla. in retiree's per capita. This is normal, people. Once a lady ran into my bathroom, but luckily she didn't make it to the house! (badaboom)

welcome to another edition of Extreme Makeover: Redneck Edition.

oh, i assumed this was garland TEXAS where my friend karen lives, since it is from the dallas paper... no?

makes mental note to NOT lend Helen my car...EVER

Since it's a Dallas-Forth Worth station, judi, I think you're right.

Probably Judi, just a coincidence I live in Garland Co. (Hot Springs) Ark

Judy Garland lives in Texas?

Neighbor sounded remarkably understanding for having had his truck hit and his Crown Vic used as a bulldozer. Insurance scam?

Annie - I think it's something about Judy Garland smoking a cigarette in Jazzzz's bathroom and then her neighbor dropped a house on her.

Or I could be mixing that up with the Wizard of Oz sequel - "Dorothy Hits Puberty"

Punkin - I remember that one, with the song, "There's Ho Place Like Gnomes."

And "Somewhere Under My Bed There's a Rainbow Colored Condom"

The classics never die.

Judy did, though.

*SNORK* at you mean people. :-D

Follow the yellow piddle on the road??

Or is that from "Dorothy - The Retirement Years"

I can't compete with you guy's. AWBH..POO..SUCIA SIOUXIE.... Spittle is rolling down my chin and screen.

I just got a notice in the mail about a traffic violation in Miami 10 years ago!! Apparently the courts aren't busy enough they have to tell me to register a car that no longer exists!

Jazzz - are you related somehow to Liza? She had the same problem.

Mrs. Mad - a traffic violation? You??!! Before I got in your car in LA a few months ago, why didn't you tell me you were a felon on the lam?

In NY, I got called for jury duty. They only paid mileage...luckily, I had just moved to California.

First time I ever got laid was in the back of a Crown Vic and I was wearing a garland around my neck (well, at least for a short time).

His foot was on the accelerator, my motor was running and by the time he shifted into second gear, the brakes were burnt out and the fluids were leaking from my engine.

The guy was from Texas. He had a twang about the way he talked. I thought he was saying he wanted to take my Volvo for a spin. I kept thinking to myself that the guy was a real hick. Everyone knows a Crown Vic doesn't look like a Volvo.

Years later, I had a female OBGYN, who was from Texas. Ever heard a Texan say "vulva"?

Waiter - check, please!

OK now....

... um ... whut happened to the garland?

Yeah, it's Garland in Texas all right...I live there too, but I'm happy not to have that woman as a neighbor (and if I did, I sure wouldn't loan her my car). Did you like the part about how she had to calm herself afterwards with both beer and a cigarette (and really bad beer at that)?

Of course, when your hometown is the inspiration for Arlen on King of the Hill, I guess you don't have to worry about its reputation suffering all that much...

annie-It was for an expired registration. I was a poor college student.


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