ANOTHER FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE
... Is on its way to this woman.
(Thanks to Mike Zlotnick)
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... Is on its way to this woman.
(Thanks to Mike Zlotnick)
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FIRST time through the place?
Posted by: Clean Hands | August 17, 2006 at 04:50 PM
Usually it takes someone drunk to do that good...
Posted by: mmmph | August 17, 2006 at 04:51 PM
usually you have to be in line at the burger drive-thru to get this kind of action.....
Posted by: russell | August 17, 2006 at 04:54 PM
I wonder if her ankle braclet was beeping and it confused her
Posted by: Chaz | August 17, 2006 at 04:55 PM
Or quite a lot older than 62. Maybe the Texas heat has caused premature aging?
In any case, I'm betting that the neighbor doesn't offer to let her drive his car again anytime soon.
Posted by: Clean Hands | August 17, 2006 at 04:55 PM
And how many Natural Lights had she sipped before she drove the car? (It is a beer, isn't it?)
Posted by: marfie | August 17, 2006 at 04:56 PM
In retrospect, our remodel might have gone a lot faster with this little lady around to do the demolition...
Posted by: marfie | August 17, 2006 at 04:57 PM
the neighbor doesn't have a car to loan anymore
Posted by: mmmph | August 17, 2006 at 04:58 PM
This story greatly amused my two co-workers - Thanks Judi
Posted by: Gypsysoul66 | August 17, 2006 at 04:58 PM
This is terrible. How is she going to get to work tomorrow?
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | August 17, 2006 at 04:59 PM
hopefully there is a bus
Posted by: mmmph | August 17, 2006 at 05:01 PM
see what happens when the cleaners scrub the wrong house and you refuse to pay?
Posted by: kitten | August 17, 2006 at 05:02 PM
The Crown Vic was prolly a resale from the Dallas police force.
Posted by: MOTW | August 17, 2006 at 05:04 PM
"remained at home after the accident" - bet there's a nice breeze-way now
Posted by: Gypsysoul66 | August 17, 2006 at 05:05 PM
My first mental picture was of a confused little Miss Marple type elderly lady...then I got to the part about the beer and cigarettes. They just don't make old ladies like they used to. *burp*
Posted by: artchick | August 17, 2006 at 05:08 PM
Garland Co. Ark (where I live) is second only to Dade Co. Fla. in retiree's per capita. This is normal, people. Once a lady ran into my bathroom, but luckily she didn't make it to the house! (badaboom)
Posted by: Jazzzz | August 17, 2006 at 05:11 PM
welcome to another edition of Extreme Makeover: Redneck Edition.
Posted by: Betsi | August 17, 2006 at 05:11 PM
oh, i assumed this was garland TEXAS where my friend karen lives, since it is from the dallas paper... no?
Posted by: judi | August 17, 2006 at 05:14 PM
makes mental note to NOT lend Helen my car...EVER
Posted by: Siouxie | August 17, 2006 at 05:18 PM
Since it's a Dallas-Forth Worth station, judi, I think you're right.
Posted by: Clean Hands | August 17, 2006 at 05:19 PM
Probably Judi, just a coincidence I live in Garland Co. (Hot Springs) Ark
Posted by: Jazzzz | August 17, 2006 at 05:22 PM
Judy Garland lives in Texas?
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | August 17, 2006 at 05:27 PM
Neighbor sounded remarkably understanding for having had his truck hit and his Crown Vic used as a bulldozer. Insurance scam?
Posted by: GoatThumper | August 17, 2006 at 05:31 PM
Annie - I think it's something about Judy Garland smoking a cigarette in Jazzzz's bathroom and then her neighbor dropped a house on her.
Or I could be mixing that up with the Wizard of Oz sequel - "Dorothy Hits Puberty"
Posted by: Punkin Poo | August 17, 2006 at 05:32 PM
Punkin - I remember that one, with the song, "There's Ho Place Like Gnomes."
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | August 17, 2006 at 05:38 PM
And "Somewhere Under My Bed There's a Rainbow Colored Condom"
The classics never die.
Judy did, though.
Posted by: Punkin Poo | August 17, 2006 at 05:40 PM
*SNORK* at you mean people. :-D
Posted by: Clean Hands | August 17, 2006 at 05:41 PM
Follow the yellow piddle on the road??
Posted by: Siouxie | August 17, 2006 at 05:52 PM
Or is that from "Dorothy - The Retirement Years"
Posted by: Siouxie | August 17, 2006 at 05:55 PM
I can't compete with you guy's. AWBH..POO..SUCIA SIOUXIE.... Spittle is rolling down my chin and screen.
Posted by: Jazzzz | August 17, 2006 at 07:43 PM
I just got a notice in the mail about a traffic violation in Miami 10 years ago!! Apparently the courts aren't busy enough they have to tell me to register a car that no longer exists!
Posted by: Mrs. Mad Scientist Weasel | August 17, 2006 at 11:18 PM
Jazzz - are you related somehow to Liza? She had the same problem.
Mrs. Mad - a traffic violation? You??!! Before I got in your car in LA a few months ago, why didn't you tell me you were a felon on the lam?
In NY, I got called for jury duty. They only paid mileage...luckily, I had just moved to California.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | August 17, 2006 at 11:55 PM
First time I ever got laid was in the back of a Crown Vic and I was wearing a garland around my neck (well, at least for a short time).
His foot was on the accelerator, my motor was running and by the time he shifted into second gear, the brakes were burnt out and the fluids were leaking from my engine.
The guy was from Texas. He had a twang about the way he talked. I thought he was saying he wanted to take my Volvo for a spin. I kept thinking to myself that the guy was a real hick. Everyone knows a Crown Vic doesn't look like a Volvo.
Years later, I had a female OBGYN, who was from Texas. Ever heard a Texan say "vulva"?
Posted by: Clementine | August 18, 2006 at 01:28 AM
Waiter - check, please!
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | August 18, 2006 at 01:48 AM
OK now....
Posted by: Siouxie | August 18, 2006 at 07:10 AM
... um ... whut happened to the garland?
Posted by: O. the U(manity) | August 18, 2006 at 07:49 AM
Yeah, it's Garland in Texas all right...I live there too, but I'm happy not to have that woman as a neighbor (and if I did, I sure wouldn't loan her my car). Did you like the part about how she had to calm herself afterwards with both beer and a cigarette (and really bad beer at that)?
Of course, when your hometown is the inspiration for Arlen on King of the Hill, I guess you don't have to worry about its reputation suffering all that much...
Posted by: Kev | August 18, 2006 at 04:56 PM
annie-It was for an expired registration. I was a poor college student.
Posted by: Mrs. Mad Scientist Weasel | August 18, 2006 at 05:07 PM
clementine...Fuuuuuuuunn-E!
Posted by: jazzzz | August 19, 2006 at 05:57 PM