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July 21, 2006
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This would be the ONLY kind of snake I'd want!!
Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 21, 2006 at 11:28 AM
JuJu Man WBAGNFARB
Posted by: Drew | July 21, 2006 at 11:28 AM
Who the hell wrote that??!! Did any of it make sense to anyone?
Posted by: blurkernomore | July 21, 2006 at 11:29 AM
"What kinda snake you got there?"
"An Indonesian ATM - very rare"
Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 21, 2006 at 11:30 AM
So what happens when the snake that vomits Dollars eats the Goose that lays the Golden Eggs?!? ;-)
Maybe you end up with these?!? ;-)
Posted by: alek | July 21, 2006 at 11:30 AM
blurker - I'm confused as well...but then again...doesn't take much.
Posted by: Siouxie | July 21, 2006 at 11:31 AM
Huh? Read it three times and still don't get it.
Posted by: Layzeeboy | July 21, 2006 at 11:32 AM
"Upon entry her 18-year old granddaughter chanting as two red candles gave out a yellowish glow."
Who wrote this thing, Captain Beefheart?
Posted by: mudstuffin | July 21, 2006 at 11:33 AM
My head's still spinnin'.
Perhaps our Pullet Surprise winning leader needs to give a tutorial.
Posted by: blurkernomore | July 21, 2006 at 11:33 AM
Apparently there was some sorta scam going on...that's about all I figger out.
Posted by: Siouxie | July 21, 2006 at 11:35 AM
*can*
Posted by: Siouxie | July 21, 2006 at 11:36 AM
How lovely! A candlelit snake soup dinner in Lagostown. Sounds like a fine evening.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go as I have caught the whiff of strong-scented incenses.
Posted by: KDF | July 21, 2006 at 11:36 AM
blurk, thank God I'm not the only one who walked away from that train wreck of writing scratching my head. All I got was ju ju, snake and Grandma killed it.
Posted by: 24-aholic | July 21, 2006 at 11:38 AM
And what did the story have to do with "a building housing military personnel"?
Should I be offended?
Somebody help me out here.
Posted by: blurkernomore | July 21, 2006 at 11:39 AM
Blurkie, just eat your soup, hon.
Posted by: KDF | July 21, 2006 at 11:40 AM
maybe snakes are their secret military weapon????? I don't know.....
Posted by: 24-aholic | July 21, 2006 at 11:40 AM
oops, I forgot I'm still mad at you, blurk
Posted by: 24-aholic | July 21, 2006 at 11:42 AM
Don't be mad 24. I will send the pictures as soon as I get written permission from Mr. 24. If I remember correctly you're married to a cop. I don't have many rules that I live by, but being a cop myself, there is one that is invaluable:
Never send pictures of your dangly bits to a woman whose husband carries a gun for a living.
Posted by: blurkernomore | July 21, 2006 at 11:48 AM
Big deal. Anyone can vomit dollars if they eat enough of them. We've already seen that snakes will eat electric blankets and alligators. Dollars ought to go down pretty easy after that.
Posted by: Bumble | July 21, 2006 at 11:50 AM
Then I shall have to paint a mental picture! Don't you carry as well?
Posted by: 24-aholic | July 21, 2006 at 11:50 AM
I know I haven't had enough coffee this morning, so was very happy to see that Blurk, et al. confirmed that this looked like it was written by a kindergartner in heavy need of Ritalin.
"The enraged old woman quickly went for a pail of boiling water"... Yeah, I keep one on hand at all times, too.
Posted by: obi wan | July 21, 2006 at 11:55 AM
Yep. Beretta 9mm and on occasion (by which I mean in a war zone) an M4 (the new version of the M16). Which is why I know this is a rule to live by.
Posted by: blurkernomore | July 21, 2006 at 11:56 AM
good rule. I can use his .38 but his .45 is a bit much. I have learned to use our shotguns, which I prefer. Glad I do not have to worry about it as a living but sue to his profession, I have learned from necessity.
Posted by: 24-aholic | July 21, 2006 at 11:59 AM
...due, not sue...
Posted by: 24-aholic | July 21, 2006 at 12:00 PM
anyone know where i can get some a that money-makin juju?
Posted by: TCK | July 21, 2006 at 12:02 PM
I agree with Punkin. If ya GOTTA have a snake, I suppose a money-pukin' one would be the way to go.
Posted by: blurkernomore | July 21, 2006 at 12:07 PM
"The enraged old woman quickly went for a pail of boiling water and poured the hot fluid on the esoteric python, which died instantly."
It needs to be said that Esoteric Python WBAGNFARB.
Also, what, this enraged old woman keeps a pail of boiling water handy in case of money vomiting serpents?
Posted by: Lairbo | July 21, 2006 at 12:08 PM
Dave - this is what happens when you stop blocking the barn door. What language was that exactly?
Posted by: Somewhere North | July 21, 2006 at 12:13 PM
"All roads led to the commandos part of Accra Newtown, otherwise known as Lagostown"
-Do other towns you know of have commandos parts?
"The enraged old woman quickly went for a pail of boiling water and poured the hot fluid on the esoteric python, which died instantly."
-That is one pissed-off old lady.
"The girl whose account of the event could thus not be obtained, was said to have sought money-making juju and the juju-man"
-Okay, this makes perfect sense now.
Jeeez....
Dave please cancel your plans to strumpet books in Nigeria--please.
Posted by: WeatherB | July 21, 2006 at 12:25 PM
Lairbo, doesn't EVERYONE know that when the juju-man gives someone an incantation to make pythons vomit American dollars and cedi (why is it that currency keeps appearing on this blog??) esoterically on a Wednesday, the ONLY remedy for enraged grandmothers is a pail of boiling water??? Sheeeesssshhhh, did you just fall off the turnip truck??
Posted by: obi wan | July 21, 2006 at 12:28 PM
if I rub its belly, will it crap platinum?
Posted by: Chaz | July 21, 2006 at 12:33 PM
Forget the money-puking snake, I want the juju-man. So much more potential.
Posted by: me | July 21, 2006 at 12:34 PM
Here come ol' gramma, she come groovin' up madly, don't like juju cedi, she one holy roller, she got boiling waaa-ter in a pail, got to kill the python and you know she won't fail! Come together, right now, esoterically!
Posted by: obi wan | July 21, 2006 at 12:43 PM
Those were turnips?!
Posted by: Lairbo | July 21, 2006 at 12:46 PM
I couldn't find the part of the article confirming that the dollars came from inside the snake.
Also, if the old woman poured scalding water on the snake, did she therefore launder the money too?
Posted by: bookworm | July 21, 2006 at 12:49 PM
*snork* @ obi wan
that was great!
Posted by: Siouxie | July 21, 2006 at 12:51 PM
*SNORKs Lairbo
Posted by: obi wan | July 21, 2006 at 12:52 PM
Thanks SNUCC!
Posted by: obi wan | July 21, 2006 at 12:54 PM
I thought it said monkey vomiting snake.....not sure that makes anymore sense than money. ...making appointment to get my eyes checked.......
Posted by: Baltimore Kat | July 21, 2006 at 12:59 PM
Bookworm - I read that article three times (which was painful, given the writing) and I couldn't find any reference to the money actually coming out of the snake either. I'm going to get me a job writing headlines - apparently they don't have to be very accurate.
Posted by: marfie | July 21, 2006 at 01:10 PM
All your juju are belong to us!!
Also, ROFL at obiwan...
Posted by: CandyT | July 21, 2006 at 01:18 PM
I noticed where the article came from. Was this translated from the official language of Ghana? Oh, wait, that would be English.
Still confused.
Posted by: Cat R. | July 21, 2006 at 01:51 PM
Marfie--good goal! Apparently all you need to do to write a good headline is sensationalize! Never let the contents of the article or *facts* get in your way!
Lemme think...who do I know that writes great columns without worrying about facts? Don't tell me, it'll come to me...
Posted by: bookworm | July 21, 2006 at 02:42 PM
Bookie, when have I EVER let those pesky fact thingies get in my way...?
Posted by: marfie | July 21, 2006 at 02:58 PM
:)
Posted by: bookworm | July 21, 2006 at 03:04 PM
How did the snake get on the plane? The electric blanket would have set off the metal detector!
Posted by: obi wan | July 21, 2006 at 10:02 PM
BTW, SusyNameUnderConstructionCruz, how about SNUCCI? That would fly on this blog! Plus, (and a BIG plus it is!), "*Snorkin' SNUCCI"* kinda sings, doncha think?
Posted by: obi wan | July 21, 2006 at 10:09 PM