IF CASTRO, IN FACT, DIES...
...and you are the kind of person who likes REALLY wild street parties, you want to get to Miami now.
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July 31, 2006
CREEPING FASCISM IN MALAYSIA
Now they want to take away our precious Malaysian constitutional right to name childen "Smelly Head."
(Thanks to Guin)
ATTENTION, NY GIANTS FANS
Here is the opportunity of a lifetime.
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
UPDATE: And here is a very special item for clinically insane people Red Sox fans (thanks to Andrew Hoenig).
ALSO WE SOMETIMES PEE ON FIRE HYDRANTS
Men are dogs.
(Thanks to Kendall Avery)
GIMME A LARGE ELASTIC LOAF WITH EXTRA CHEESE AND PEPPERONI
Iran cracks down on bad words.
(Thanks to chicomathmom)
(This blog apologizes if this story has already been all over the Internet, but this blog is on vacation)
24
Aquí están los diagramas esquemáticos del perímetro en fecha novecientas horas de tiempo del este del terrorismo:
Están sosteniendo a Gato "manija" Bauer del granjero en limbo brutal del hiato del verano a bordo del carguero chino "argumento secundario de los mares." Audrey se está ocupando de estas noticias llorando, que es cómo ella trata de bonito mucho todo que le suceda, incluyendo salida del sol. Edgar, aunque aún es muerto, auditioning activamente para otras partes, incluyendo el plomo en la película próxima: "Shamu, los años." Ahora le damos vuelta encima a nuestro Steve regularmente programar.
SOON TO BE AN OLYMPIC SPORT
(Thnx 1st to Betsi Freeman)
WHEN PEOPLE TRY TO TELL THIS BLOG THAT NOBODY IS MAKING THOUGHTFUL, HIGH-QUALITY TELEVISION SHOWS THAT EXPLORE THE IMPORTANT ISSUES OF THE DAY
...this blog can only laugh.
(Thanks to Bob Brogan)
CSI: NORCO
Key Quote: "This is the largest (toilet papering) case we've had in recent memory."
HEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR
Women, get ready to nod knowingly.
(Thanks to Russell Mc)
ATTENTION, MEN OF ROMANCE LOOKING FOR A VERY SPECIAL GIFT FOR A VERY SPECIAL LADY
(Thanks to crossgirl)
SPEAKING OF CHEESE
Don't. Don't even think about this one. Seriously.
(We refuse to thank The Perts. We are going to start a new category -- Do Not Click This Link -- just for this item.)
FORMERLY NAKED (BUT CURRENTLY CLOTHED) NEWS UPDATE
(Thanks to Mike A.)
THE BLOG HAS BEEN FINICKY THIS MORNING
Perhaps a thick coating of Magic Cheese would help.
(Thanks to DavCat)
July 30, 2006
TRAVEL ADVISORY
After a summer of soccer/headbutt-covering and book-strumpeting, the Blog Family is finally going on an actual summer vacation. So blogging from me will be highly sporadic for the next week or so. But rest assured that you will be in good hands.
July 29, 2006
DESIGNER BATHROOM CONCEPT OF THE WEEK SO FAR
(Thanks to Robert Benjamin)
AWWW
Back in 2004, when Ridley and I were out strumpeting for our first book, we did a signing at a Costco (Yes! A Costco!) in California. To our surprise and delight and mild fear, several people came dressed as pirates. A CrapCam photo of that event was blogged here. The tall guy on the left in back is the blogperson known as Mike Weasel; the woman next to him is the blogsterette known as Mad Scientist. Before that moment, they had never met. And guess what?
That's right: They never saw each other again.
No! Kidding!
On Friday night, Mad and Mike got married. I am not making this up. So, to Mike and Mad, this blog says: Congratulations, and best wishes, and may you enjoy many fine swashbuckling years together.
HALLOWEEN IS COMING
Get ready.
(Thanks to goodbuddy)
GOOD NAME FOR A ROCK BAND
(Also thanks to Betsi)
(For the record, this blog had a college roommate that this blog sometimes called Cosmic Bob)
WHY THE WORLD NEEDS GUYS, REASON 2,038
Guys liven things up.
(Thanks to Betsi)
SNAKE UPDATE
They're escaping, probably with the aid of squirrels. And not to alarm anybody, but: apparently they're trying to catch planes.
CREEPING FASCISM
Now you can't even cuddle a conger.
(Thanks to Mr. Jeff Arch)
YET ANOTHER REASON WHY THE WORLD NEEDS GUYS
Guys care about the environment.
(Thanks to Claire Martin)
July 28, 2006
NEWS YOU CAN USE
This totally justifies locking the refrigerator.
(Thanks to markhh)
FRIDAY AT FIVE
It's time for Nudity in the News: This week we have dangerous criminals, lovers, police officers, victims, and collectors.
(Thanks to fivver, DavCat, Gary, Jeannie Kelly, and Jeff Meyerson)
UPDATE
ATTENTION, CONSUMERS OF SOY SAUCE
Whatever you do, do not read too far down in this article.
(Thanks to RussellMc)
ATTENTION, TEENAGERS
Put down those mothballs now. But keep them near, just in case.
(Thanks to Claire Martin and Siouxie Cruz)
HEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR
(Thanks to DavCat)
CAN YOU HEAR IT?
The distant sound of strumpeting, strumpeting....
(Photo)
CLEVELAND OHIO
Trying to beat out Davenport Iowa in the burgeoning Office Supply Art field.
(Thanks to Wziemski)
STRUMPDATE REDUX PART DEUX
Or something like that.
Also, happy birthday to one of these lovely ladies.
July 27, 2006
STRUMPDATE
One of the sponsors of tonight's event is the Germ-X company, which made a special product for Ridley and me: Gnarly Green Pirate Slime Hand Sanitizer. Ridley is admiring it in this exclusive unposed spontaneous CrapCam photo.
{Oops; Tonight's posts should read "Posted by Dave"}
ST. LOUIS STRUMPDATE
Some terrifyingly young people who claim to read the blog came and gave us Krispy Kreme doughnuts for Edgar, who by the way is still dead.
ATTENTION, GUYS WHOSE WIVES WOULD LIKE THEM TO HELP OUT MORE IN THE KITCHEN
OK THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER
But can we point out that Marijuana Gumballs WBAGNFARB?
(Thanks to sthnbelle)
THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING
From the site of the giant-head gossip woman:
(Scroll down here:)
Paris Hilton says that Barry Manilow is one her favorite singers. Just don’t ask her to name any of his songs. “I don't know what he sings, but he's sexy,” the partying heiress told the Scottish Daily Record. “He has nice calm music.”
(Thanks to funniegrrl)
URGENT BULLETIN ADVISORY TO PEOPLE IN LONDON
UPDATE
OK, the blog seems to be working again. But I won't be doing much blogging, because Ridley and I are charging around St. Louis in Full Strumpet Mode. I am pleased to report that Ridley's house has electricity. The roof is gone, but we can keep the beer cold.
ARTIST OF THE DAY SO FAR
He really puts his, um... his self into his work.
July 26, 2006
CRIMINAL MASTERMIND OF THE WEEK SO FAR
(Thanks to Siouxie Cruz)
POLITICS IN WAWAYANDA
It's not for the faint of heart.
STRUMPDATE
Check out the Picture of the Day. Makes a man proud.
SOUTH FLORIDA NEWS UPDATE
Inexplicably, they still haven't identified this guy. You'd think all the barking would give him away.
(Thanks to Drew Harchick, even though the s.b. saw it repeatedly on the news and yet somehow failed to think of blogging it.)
THEY SEEM TO THINK THIS IS NEWS
(Thanks to Sean)
STRUMPDATE
Ridley and I are at the San Francisco airport, preparing to go to St. Louis, where we will see if Ridley has electricity, or what. I know I have asked this question before, but I would still like to know why it is that people in otherwise quiet airport waiting areas believe that they must talk VERY LOUD INTO THEIR CELL PHONES.
NATURE UPDATE
We don't like the sound of this at all.
MAKING A NAME FOR ITSELF IN THE WORLD OF FINE ART
(Thanks to Deb Rowley, who sent this in via snailmail)
ATTENTION, SIMPSONS FANS
(Thanks to Schadeboy, who notes: "Maybe he'll shoot Homer in the thigh.")