IF CASTRO, IN FACT, DIES...

...and you are the kind of person who likes REALLY wild street parties, you want to get to Miami now.

Comments

[marfie]

If I lived in Miami, the FIRST thing I'd do is leave when this happened to avoid the hoopla that will ensue.

[marfie]

I mean, can you imagine the traffic jams? They'll be SECOND to none.

[marfie]

THIRD time's the charm...

[marfie]

Okay, what is it - my breath? You can tell me, really.

[Brad]

When Castro dies, we are all Cubans for a day... or a week... or until the rum and cigars runs out. Go Castro! (As in "go to hell").

[Steve]

Wow...if that really happens, Miami's going to party until Cinco de Mayo.

[marfie]

I'm feeling very alone right now....

[marfie]

Thank God - what took you guys so long?

[Bill Peschel]

Naw, the real party will be in Havana. Everyone's invited! Just don't forget your noisemakers.

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Like Times Square on New Year's Eve. Can I bring Mardi Gras beads?

[marfie]

Gee, I participated in a triple simul-post and two of them were me! Apparently I type faster than I thought....

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

marfie-You should enter the text-messaging competition.

[Siouxie]

I was just showing my daughters the news on tv - leave it to us cubans to get out and party!!!

*I'll be bringing plenty of rum for cuba libres and mojitos*

[Bumble]

I'm glad the blog family is on vacation. I wouldn't want them to get hit by any stray enthusiastic bullets.

Dave, if he lingers, you can come to Indiana until the furor dies down. I'll bake many nice things.

[LucyVanPelt]

Hmmmmm....all I can find on the World Wide Web, is that Castro had surgery and is giving power temporarily over to his brother Raul. I am also unable to access a t.v. right now. Anyone have something different?

Also if Castro dies, can we all stay at your house Dave? Just for a few days, I promise.

[LucyVanPelt who hopes this doesn't post twice]

Hmmmmm....all I can find on the World Wide Web, is that Castro had surgery and is giving power temporarily over to his brother Raul. I am also unable to access a t.v. right now. Anyone have something different?

Also if Castro dies, can we all stay at your house Dave? Just for a few days, I promise.

[Siouxie]

Lucy - that's basically IT. Only you'd think he was dead already from the looks of the people out in the streets clanking on their pots & pans (soooo proud to be cuban right now!!)

[judi]

it's so exciting! like when the marlins won the series, or the heat won the (what is it they won?) -- you can't believe the copter shots!!!

[judi]

yeah, the news is saying he is NOT dead, but the people are partying as if he IS.

[Siouxie]

judi - any excuse to get out and beat those pots! unreal!!

[marfie]

So what are the odds being given in Miami regarding Raul being able to maintain power after big brother is gone?

[Siouxie]

marfie, I'd like to say that cubans tend to be a tad emotional...when it comes to Fidel. Personally I don't think much will happen unless someone THERE makes it happen.

/political discourse

[Siouxie]

that being said....

*runs behind the blogbar*

mojitos anyone?????

[Nick Osaada]

Hmmm...it would probably finish Castro off if he gets out of the hospital and discovers that someone started a democracy while he was away.

[marfie]

Ooooh, I'm with you Siouxie - let the muddling begin!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

judi: I'm still in Europe. Dumb Question Of The Day: Should I come back to Miami, or stay here?

[Annie Where-but-here]

I heard Raul won't tell anyone when Fidel dies. Instead, he'll set up a puppet regime, a la Senor Wencelas spends a "Weekend at Bernie's:"
"Zor-right?"
"Zor-right!"
"Zo-kay!"

[Siouxie]

tropichunt.com guy - if you do, by all means avoid Hialeah...oh and calle ocho...

on second thought...stay put!

[Siouxie]

Zno problem! *snork*

[marlodianne]

You know, I got the news here. Provided the Blog is not not making this up (swearing pending). Castro didn't even make my 24 hr news channel, or the regular news, or the internet news. Or even, yipes, Yahoo. How quickly we forget our dictators...I guess because we're kinda busy with the new ones...

If only he got crazy drunk with Mel, he could have knocked the Middle East from the ratings and got some air time...

[Max]

You guys know for a fact that they'll just put some robotic parts and an old tape player in his corpse and keep him "in power" (who could tell the difference anyway?) for another few months till a body double has the lines down.

[Novanglus]

Some smart person could make a quick buck selling Castro voo-doo dolls, encased with ten "do it yourself" needles.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Siouxie: Avoid Hialeah?!!??! HA! HOW do you do that in South Florida??!

Anyway...technically...my zip code resolves to be Hialeah...nice, eh? I don't readily admit that to many peopl...er...oops.

[Fidel]

Yanqui dogs! You won't be rid of me that easy....uhhh...I shouldn't have eaten those street tacos...my gut is on fire!

[Val]

So if he dies, which communist will take his place? I can't for the life of me understand how that man has stayed in power all these years. Maybe instead of running to South Florida the Cubans should have overthrown the man and taken back their country.

[Occam's Lady Schick]

ok ok ok! wait up a minute.

lenin and castro can tour together until the end of the world!
tour_Lenin_s_Body_From_Russian_Government

[Occam's Lady Schick]

pardon my html-fu is kinda rusty.

[Guin]

Bumble, if you're baking those tasty things, I'll come to Indiana to celebrate the end of Castro!

[Kibby F5™]

tropichunt.com guy™ , in Europe? Where?

pssst, been here for 15 years, you may want to stay

I liked the idea that a Democarcy broke out while he was in the hospital!

Oh, and I think Miami needs to hurry up and finish off that construction near the Hearld's building.... need party space!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Kibby: Currently, Etten-Leur/Breda, Netherlands. Was in Brussels/Brugge for the weekend, going to be in Amsterdam tomorrow night so I can fly out Thursday.

And, all the while, I will not see anyone partying about Castro like they are in Miami...

[Jeff Meyerson]

Now we know where the blog is on its vacation: it went to Havana to Bauerize Fidel once and for all!

Way to go, Dave.

[mudstuffin]

bad government ends.
remember stoner's warning:
"won't get fooled again"

dictator's end comes
not with guns and rockets but
with a bloody fart

in these troubled times
I'm going to Bumble's house
the wicked temptress

[Chaz]

heres my theory

Dave went on vacation. Same night, Castro dissapears with intestinal bleeding. Dave likes 24.

see where I am going with this...

Dave Barry is an international assasin who was sent to eliminate Castro before he ujsed his cell pohone to destroy the world in 24 hours..

now that I have exposed him...he will kill me. I know this...

[ASSociate]

Lets not forget about Raul. . . his evil(er) brother...

[Jeff Meyerson]

Chaz, already went there. But good thinking.

[Chaz]

sorry...still sleepy

too many ¡Cuba Sí, Castro No! last night

[Suzy Q]

Step AWAY from Calle Ocho! (only if you want to keep your sanity)

The people, they are insane here. Time to hunker down and drink.

[kj]

Chaz, The news reports were sketchy at best, but I read NOTHING about Fidel having a thigh wound...

[Siouxie]

Good morning from Miami!!!!

is he dead yet????

[Suzy Q]

Not sure, Siouxie. Hard to tell. Haven't heard any gunfire yet, so probably not.

[Bumble]

Guin~ C'mon over! We'll have a bloggit party.

[Glix]

Miami, Indiana...Any Texans wanna start planning a party?

[Fidel]

I'm not dead yet.

[Cheesewiz]

And don't forget to wear Kevlar (TM) shorts and topical/tropical shirts.

[Siouxie]

Give it time Suzy...first we get the pots and pans out...THEN the guns... he doesn't need to be dead.

There is a method to our madness...really.

Tropic - sorry to hear that :) May I suggest flying into Homestead Air Force base??? that should avoid most of Hialeah/Little Havana.

[Siouxie]

uh...Fidel??

You can be the guy on Spamalot singing .."I am not yet dead"!

[blurkernomore]

I have it on good authority that the only thing wrong with Castro is a hang nail. Siouxie started this hoax as an excuse to get drunk.

[Siouxie]

Hey!! picking on me this early blurk??? geez!

besides...since when do *I* need an excuse??

mojito???

[24-aholic]

So, I tried these famous mojitos. They were okay, but pretty tart. The flavor I got was lime - was that my problem? Don't get me wrong, I drank the whole bottle - I don't like to waste.

[Siouxie]

24- the perfect mojito is well...up to your own taste. I don't like mine too limy. It's gotta have a balance or else it just tastes like lemonade...(more rum is good)

[sthnbelle]

24 - methinks that if "drinking the whole bottle" was the issue, thre's your problem right there. Mojitos should be freshly made, not some pre-bottled thing. Get yourself to a decent cuban restaurant (or if that's not available, Fridays™ actually makes a halfway decent one) and try one there.

[Siouxie]

agreed sthnbelle! not only that, but you need to grind the "hierba buena" leaves in there. It's not a true mojito without 'em.

[Chaz]

CART MASTER:
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[cough cough...]
[clang]
[...cough cough]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead! Ninepence.
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
[clang]
Bring out...
[rewr!]
...your dead!
[rewr!]
[clang]
Bring out your dead!
CUSTOMER:
Here's one.
CART MASTER:
Ninepence.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not dead!
CART MASTER:
What?
CUSTOMER:
Nothing. Here's your ninepence.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not dead!
CART MASTER:
'Ere. He says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER:
Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not!
CART MASTER:
He isn't?
CUSTOMER:
Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER:
No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.
CART MASTER:
Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON:
I don't want to go on the cart!
CUSTOMER:
Oh, don't be such a baby.
CART MASTER:
I can't take him.
DEAD PERSON:
I feel fine!
CUSTOMER:
Well, do us a favour.
CART MASTER:
I can't.
CUSTOMER:
Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
CART MASTER:
No, I've got to go to the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
CUSTOMER:
Well, when's your next round?
CART MASTER:
Thursday.
DEAD PERSON:
I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER:
You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: [singing]
I feel happy. I feel happy.
[whop]
CUSTOMER:
Ah, thanks very much.
CART MASTER:
Not at all. See you on Thursday.
CUSTOMER:
Right. All right.
[howl]
[clop clop clop]
Who's that, then?
CART MASTER:
I dunno. Must be a king.
CUSTOMER:
Why?
CART MASTER:
He hasn't got shit all over him.

[24-aholic]

Thanks, girls. Sthnbelle - it was a bottle of mix, is that what you meant? I added liquor and soda. And fresh mint from my garden :)

[Siouxie]

*SNORK* @ Chaz!!!

I love Python! did you ever see Spamalot? I saw that last summer on Broadway - HISTERICAL!!!

[Chaz]

sorry for s word...didnt see it

[queensbee]

thank you chaz for the pythoning.... but do you think fla would be as bad as all these rich morons who are up here in saratoga?

and dave - you live in a tropical place. why are you vacationing in a tropical place???? i am confusled.

[Guin]

"Well, now he's dead, 'cause you whacked him on the head; You homicidal bastard, now he's really dead!"

~ Spamalot

[sthnbelle]

Well, I was thinking that you were referring to an entirely pre-made bottle of something, but I would still try them out when they're (not there) made fresh. Good rum helps, too.

[Chaz]

believe me....Miami is WAY different than Philadelphia (what I consider my hometown)...

[sthnbelle]

For one thing, Miami gets way less snow.

Where in the Philly area are you, Chaz?

[Eleanor]

*zips in LTTG*

Is he sick?

Did I miss something?

But yes, I see Weekend at Bernie's. I mean, for all we know, Howard Hughes may still be alive...

[Jeff Meyerson]

Well, I don't know about Fidel, but this breaking news is just in.

[Chaz]

I WAS in King of Prussia/Paoli area...I am now in Miami..

[sthnbelle]

Gotcha. You can have your weather back, thankyouverymuch. 100 with a heat index of 110 in PHILLY, for goodness sakes.

Pass the mojitos, please.

[Miss Anne Thrope]

Perhaps Dave shot Fidel in the thigh.

On a more serious note, although I am not Cuban, I hear Fidel's brother is far worse than Fidel, so I'd hold off on the celebration...JMHO.

Elizabeth

[Ashley in NYC]

I'm another one who's LTTG - is it too late to buy a plane ticket to Miami? I wanna join the wild street party! Besides, the weather can't be any worse than 100 degrees & humid in NYC!!!

[Bumble]

Mud~ Wicked temptress? Moi?

():-)

[nora]

I hear he has Castrointestinal disease.

--Thanks to my twelve-year-old.

[Bumble]

*snork* @ nora's 12-year-old

[otis wildflower]

E's not dead, e's restin!

(Pinin' for the fjords!)

[Guin]

Headline from random website:

"CUBA: Official: Castro not dying soon."

[Fidel]

Really, I am feeling much better now. Y mi hermanito Raul, es very nice and will solomente torture and execute my loving subjects, not put them en un hijo de puta very nice hospital for the beloved people. When my sweet, beloved brother, whom we lovingly call Marquis de Sadito, assumes room temperatura, the mostest nicest of our beloved leadership team will mildly rise to lovingly lead our struggle for the beloved people. For the remainder of this 3-hour statement from mi, el jeffe, please vas a NuestroTubo.

[Mare Imbrium]

Someone musta fed Fidel some of that yummy outlawed Cheese of Doom.

Mare

[Estelle Chauvelin]

If he dies, can we then spend about a year getting updates on him still being dead?

[Siouxie]

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN:

Fidel Castro is still not dead.

[Jake]

jjb jjb

[Jake]

josh josh

[Jake]

jjb jjb

[Jake]

jjb jjb

[Jake]

jjb

[Natividad]

Dave Barry's Blog: IF CASTRO, IN FACT, DIES...

[Afra]

--