FOR THE ACTIVE CELL-PHONE-USIN' MAN
(Thanks to Qween Puler)
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July 25, 2006
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Well, if Jack ever used the bathroom, he might want one of these.
Posted by: scat/sfo | July 25, 2006 at 02:46 PM
But that's half the fun of going. If it were shaped like a woman's hand, now you're talking.
Posted by: Sarcasmo | July 25, 2006 at 02:47 PM
or a figure-skater.
Posted by: mudstuffin | July 25, 2006 at 02:51 PM
I didn't see the urinal penny
Posted by: MOTW | July 25, 2006 at 02:52 PM
it is adjustable???
Posted by: Siouxie | July 25, 2006 at 02:53 PM
Aside from the obvious disturbing aspects of this "invention" - what is the poor schmuck who is on the other end of the line supposed to do when he / she is forced to hear the cell phone user relieving himself WHILE ON A CALL!?!?!?!?!
That is just nasty!
Posted by: 24-aholic | July 25, 2006 at 02:54 PM
Does it give you the shake???
Posted by: Layzeeboy | July 25, 2006 at 02:55 PM
To be truly guy ready it needs some extra controls like a hydraulic height adjuster, heater for cold days, girth adjustment, shaker attachement etc.
Posted by: ArcticAl | July 25, 2006 at 02:58 PM
Needs to be automated. Zipper-puller-downer, thumblike waistband pulling device, dangly bit extractor, shaker, and of course all of these in reverse.
Posted by: Layzeeboy | July 25, 2006 at 03:01 PM
If I were a man of the male gender, I would pull a Madonna about this little device. Why would you wanna rest yours where some nasty dude just rested his?
Posted by: Ann | July 25, 2006 at 03:02 PM
Ann, 'cause unlike women of the female gender we aren't too particular about what it comes into contact with. (i.e. Twitney, Paris Hilton, etc.).
Posted by: Layzeeboy | July 25, 2006 at 03:13 PM
*scratches Layzeeboy off list*
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | July 25, 2006 at 03:17 PM
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!
Posted by: Juggler of Geese (back in training) | July 25, 2006 at 03:23 PM
List? What list?
Posted by: 24-aholic | July 25, 2006 at 03:23 PM
Wow, I just turned into Monk. "Don't touch me with that thing until you've washed it at least 100 times in hot, germ-killing water! And bleach! And ammonia!" (But not at once, 'cuz that'll kill ya)
Posted by: Ann | July 25, 2006 at 03:28 PM
Awww, Annie I was talkin' about OTHER guys of the male gender. Please reconsider.
Posted by: Layzeeboy | July 25, 2006 at 03:41 PM
*scratches Layzeeboy under ear*
Ann - pass the bleach, please.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | July 25, 2006 at 03:44 PM
How do you adjust the height on that? I'm just asking... for a friend of mine... yeah, that's it...
Posted by: Higgy | July 25, 2006 at 03:52 PM
I'll take your "EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" and second it with "ICKY!"
Also: you shake it? Don't you use toilet paper? What if there are ick particles left on you?
Annie, pass that bleach...
Posted by: Blogchik | July 25, 2006 at 03:53 PM
Here.
Posted by: Ann | July 25, 2006 at 03:54 PM
No TP at urinals. We gotta shake it.
(From History of the World Part II: "Oh, pi$$ boy, wait for the shake.")
Posted by: Layzeeboy | July 25, 2006 at 03:58 PM
Ann - we're gonna need a bigger bleach.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | July 25, 2006 at 04:14 PM
Interesting level that cellphone holder thingie's at...Is that in case the Little Man wants to join in on the conversation? I don't remember them talking much...
Posted by: me | July 25, 2006 at 04:15 PM
I'm picturing a guy trying to get...ummmm....positioned correctly without using his hands......I'm seeing a hip rotating type motion trying to flip it into the saddle, kinda like those old games where you had to get the ball on the string into the cup........
Posted by: sthnbelle | July 25, 2006 at 04:21 PM
hahahha
Posted by: Betsi | July 25, 2006 at 04:22 PM
OH I get it...sorry...not owning one of those things that makes one of these things necessary, I wasn't sure what it really was for. Ignore above post. *blush*
Posted by: me | July 25, 2006 at 04:23 PM
women really don't want to know
the places that mr. johnson will go
ahem...
where does he go
when nobody is looking?
why heaven knows!
is apple-pie is cooking?
you've seen that movie
did you think it pure fiction?
you thought that cooked apples
would not provide enough friction?
you've heard of livestock
right here on this blog
of sheep, fowl and cattle,
God forgive me, a dog
a corpse, and a donut
a bowl of clam chowder
the barrel of a cannon
replete with gun powder
the shell of a conch
for those with a bend
a nice watermelon
bring warm days a cool end
a chimney, a monkey
a vacuum, a squirrel
when I'm mad, out the window,
I say, "f**k the world!"
where does he go?
Rather: Where doesn't he?
the only restriction is fit,
don't you see?
If you don't believe me
ask any teenager
and he'll lie like a lawyer
on this I'll wager
'coz women don't want to know where he has been,
and most of all he wants you again.
Posted by: mudstuffin | July 25, 2006 at 04:29 PM
Not unlike the eyeglass holder/anti-sliding device popularized in The Jerk
Posted by: Cheesewiz | July 25, 2006 at 04:30 PM
the OptiGrab!
Posted by: Betsi | July 25, 2006 at 04:31 PM
so would this be the PeenieGrab?
Posted by: Betsi | July 25, 2006 at 04:31 PM
we're gonna need a bigger hands-free penis holder....
Posted by: Chaz | July 25, 2006 at 04:43 PM
You all seem to be forgetting that guys are, above all else, PRACTICAL!!
Posted by: Curious John | July 25, 2006 at 04:53 PM
for cell phones - BlueTooth
for weapons of mass distraction- BlueUnit
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | July 25, 2006 at 04:55 PM
Remember - shake it more than twice and you're (not your) playing with it!
Posted by: ArcticAl | July 25, 2006 at 05:06 PM
and kudos to Mud on his Dr. Suess poem...
Posted by: ArcticAl | July 25, 2006 at 05:07 PM
*snork* at sthn
also *snork* at mud, and *ew*
Posted by: Ann | July 25, 2006 at 05:14 PM
mud, excellente!!
Posted by: Siouxie | July 25, 2006 at 05:14 PM
mud, have I mentioned you're a genius?
Posted by: blurkernomore | July 25, 2006 at 05:16 PM
*Snorks* at Mud and Curious.
And, 24, you won't hear a darn thing, 'cause we're not talking, we're listening and nodding. We take our thumb off the microphone often enough to say 'Uh-huh' and 'Really?'
Posted by: CJrun | July 25, 2006 at 05:49 PM
CJ: That's good, 'cuz we wouldn't want any "Naked Gun" moments.
Posted by: Ann | July 25, 2006 at 05:54 PM
No way I'm draining the dragon using some gizmo like that. Some things will just have to remain manual...
Posted by: Philintexas | July 25, 2006 at 07:46 PM
*snork* at Studmuffin
*er um* Mudstuffin
Posted by: Janaroo | July 25, 2006 at 07:58 PM
Philintexas - Manuel drains it for you? The things they'll do down there for a green card....yeesh.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | July 25, 2006 at 08:01 PM
Philintexas - Manuel drains it for you? The things they'll do down there for a green card....yeesh
i'm ashamed i laughed at that. i'm ashamed i submitted the article.
Posted by: Occam's Lady Schick | July 25, 2006 at 08:08 PM
*snork* Annie - my ex's name is Manuel ...HA!
Posted by: SiouxieMaybeI'llStickWithThisName Cruz | July 25, 2006 at 08:11 PM
OLS - I know, that was bad. I was ashamed for a minute. Then I got over it.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | July 25, 2006 at 08:17 PM
Sadly I haven't learned how to link, but on the Petaluma Creamery link to Cheese Process. there is a photo of a cow's udder(s) hooked up to a milking machine......kind of reminded me of this gadget
Posted by: Janaroo | July 25, 2006 at 08:18 PM
http://www.springhillcheese.com/process.html
Posted by: Janaroo | July 25, 2006 at 08:28 PM
who IS claire martin anyway?
Posted by: Occam's Lady Schick | July 25, 2006 at 08:39 PM
OLS-We took a vote a while back, but the results were inconclusive. Some speculated that she's Dave's alter-ego. (that's my personal favorite)
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | July 25, 2006 at 08:50 PM
She's the alter ego of Chuck Norris.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | July 25, 2006 at 08:50 PM
Oh Annie, now I have a new favorite. :-)
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | July 25, 2006 at 08:52 PM
Is this thing used to hold one's GIANT PINK TESTICLE?
Oh.
Never mind.
Posted by: catharine | July 26, 2006 at 09:27 AM
Occam's Lady Schick wanted to know "Who is Claire Martin?" Well, I don't know. But I DO know that the anagram for Claire Martin is: Cranial Merit.
Well, it doesn't clear up the mystery, but it's a good "fun fact to know and tell".
Posted by: catharine | July 27, 2006 at 01:18 PM