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July 16, 2006

FASCISM UPDATE

Now they're taking away our right to throw things at gators.

(Thanks to Russell Mc)

Comments

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Sometimes it is best to let Darwin's Laws enforce themselves. Let them feed the gators and eventually they will feed the gators.

"We want people to enjoy alligators from afar."

I don't enjoy alligators, but the law enforcement officers of Florida, and my home state of Arkansas for that matter, may rest assured I will endeavor to stay VERY, VERY, far from alligators.

"See ya later, alligator..."

And "you're welcome" for the earworm. *evil smirk*

Instead of euthanizing poor Crusty, why not euthanize the morons throwing him hot dogs and M&Ms?
(tm)

I would like some m&m's.

"They start to see humans as a food source."

and we weren't before????

That's right Suzy, AND they see us as competition for the m&m's.

That quote caught my eye too, Kid: "We want people to enjoy alligators from afar..."

Y'know, that's really the only way I can enjoy a gator. In fact, I find that my enjoyment of them decreases proportionately with an increase of proximity.

(sheesh -- make that an increase in proximity.)

WriterDude - that's the other one that when I read it, I'm going ...DUH!

and gator fans, particularly, should be enjoyed from afar.

("When you wish upon a star")

Enjoying gators from afar
Can be done wheree'r you are
Just don't feed them; they get
Used to human food!

A seldom-used reptilian brain
Thinks you are the gravy train
Run out of snacks, no problem
If your pets will do!

"I wasn't really trying to feed the dumb animal," Bush said. "I was just throwing stuff at him to get him to move and one of those things happened to be a fish."

This defense will NOT fly in Court. But the judge may giggle.
*eye roll*

The guy made a simple error. He was trying to feed the gator a fish. Now, had he offered the gator a succulent bite of any number of Tallahassee politicians you couldn't find a jury anywhere in the state that would vote to convict him.

FCDA - That's what struck me, too. "One of the random objects I pulled out of my pockets happened to be a fish - hey, it could happen!" - wotta pinhead. Wonder what else he carries around.


Wally, You don't really want to know do you?

El~ I was gonna comment on that quote; you beat me to it. If only people could be arrested for being stupid. They'd make enough money from fines and bail that nobody would need to pay taxes anymore.

*ponders*

That's not a bad idea, is it?

*opens MS word to draft a letter to the nearest friendly neighborhood congressperson*

So we squired my visiting Mom about, took her to Myakka River State Park, where this ordinarily sensible woman insisted on participating in illegal and just plain foolish gator-feeding. They LOVE marshmallows, but don't feed them! I have had to get away from them in the water and on land and, believe me, they can out-run a human [don't go in a straight line, they suck at cornering;)]. She did it anyway. Laid a trail of marshmallows up the river bank so she could get a picture of a big one out of the water. The gator had a sense of humor and ignored the marshmallows near the water's edge, choosing to hurl itself out of the water and grab the one at her feet. Mom doesn't feed gators anymore, except for me [thbtbtbpt @ crossgirl :)].

I had training in the navy in Charleston, SC. Well, more in the swampy outskirt thereof. Only the federal gov't would buy land in a swamp. Anyway, there was a pond on the school grounds with a gator in it. We were told this:

Gator out runs horse. Horse outruns human. Therefore?

AN M&M™? For "an M&M™" you can get a citation for feedin' a gator? You really think a gator is going to notice anything smaller than a...fish, perhaps?

Hey - I'll put on a gator suit and sit in a pond with fish tickling my butt if you promise I get M&M's!!

*goes into "M&M Whore" Rehab*

anybody else notice the last name of the guy who thought throwing fish at a gator would make it go away? Perhaps just a family trait of having difficulty expressing his thoughts clearly.

Once he's in jail, do you think the guards will let us throw fish and m&m's at him to make him move?

in all seriousness, feeding gators, especially in the vicinity of neighborhoods, is always a bad idea.
they're very territorial n have a brain roughly the size of a brazil nut. we, in our houses, are considered a boxed lunch.

just sayin'

hmmmmmm, gators love marshmallows and m&m's. wonder what they'd do for s'mores?!

Agreed, Cyn. I used to work with gators in an earlier profession, and we always used caution, even with small ones. It still boggles my mind how often throughout the day people would through food, rocks, bottle caps, coins and (really) marshmellows at the animals to prove that they were really alive and to get them to move.

That's why I would love to retaliate on behalf of the alligators.

When we took a swamp tour outside New Orleans the guides would ALL throw marshmallows to get them to come out and "play".

Insom...*snork* and a high-five.

I was already workin' on that one in my head, but you got there first, and splendidly, as usual:)

"The alligator has the strongest downward biting force of any animal in the world."
I think Rush Limberbra would challenge that claim.

Out here in SoHotSoCal, we have the same problem with bunnies. They are even faster than gators, have better cornering, and are more fuel efficient. As I left work last week, I was confronted by a gang of lop-ears jonesing for Cheetos. I threw my Mountain Dew at them and ran for the car. This morning, we had one outside the house yanking on the screen door saying, "Let me put you in my belly!"

sorry to threadjack folks, but i have a question.

do any of you guys play isketch? it's online pictionary. very addicting.

hi i am looking for a column to put on the wall at work. it is the one where he goes in to sign up for a hotel service. we are a hotel service based in miami. i would appreciate it if one of you could lead me to this column and tell me where I can buy it. if it is possible, I was wondering if your office would print the column for me on blown up paper. Thank you very much.

Lynn

Lynn - there's a link marked 'columns' on the left side of this page.
<--- If you can't find the one you need, by the time you finish reading them, you'll be laughing so hard you won't care. But you can email the blog at the email address on the left side of this page.
<----
As for blown up paper, Dave says he was nowhere near the mensroom at the Herald.

I don't think Mr. Jeffery Bush will carrying the potato salad to the MENSA picnic, if you know what I mean.

At least some of them are polite enough to ring the doorbell.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

"Who's there?"

"Candygram"

Hey, at least I was first to put it on THIS blog...

The Chain: "Food to Food to Fertilizer"

"They start to see humans as a food source."

This is a new discovery!?

"I wasn't really trying to feed the dumb animal," Bush said. "I was just throwing stuff at him to get him to move and one of those things happened to be a fish."

*throws*
rock, rock, child, rock, stick, rock, fish! *nabbed!*

Actually, Kid, I did that joke on another thread a while ago, but I'll give you credit for this thread. :)

On another thread? *Sigh* I wish I had time to keep up with this blog, but it has so many threads...

It's ok, Kid. It's a classic for a reason. Just keep up the funny.

"The alligator has the strongest downward biting force of any animal in the world."

That's Good information.

Question -- What animal has the WEAKEST downward biting force in the world??

Se recuerdo a UDSTED, Senor "Spammo" Ramirez - tomese el libro e empujelo donde no se vea el sol.

Back to our original topic (now that I've stopped laughing at Annie's wonderful reply to Senor Cuba).

The really unfair thing is that the people who become Gator Chow are almost never the same morons who feed the gators. The morons have fun, and then later some innocent person (who doesn't have any other food to offer) becomes lunch.

They need to start sending those undercover agents on the airboat tours. I know the tour operators teach the tourists to feed the 'gators.


Mare

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