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July 25, 2006
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Words escape me.
Posted by: Juggler of Geese | July 25, 2006 at 10:36 AM
She may be a freak, but if I were super-rich, I would also request fresh seats.
Posted by: 24-aholic | July 25, 2006 at 10:37 AM
HA! DIDN'T CATCH ME LINKING!!!!
HA!
*struts around desk*
... must be on lookout for BM links ...
Posted by: Kibby F5™ | July 25, 2006 at 10:38 AM
I thought it was part of a Kabbal ritual. like the one at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark, Without all the death.
Posted by: Juggler of Geese | July 25, 2006 at 10:38 AM
Yes, it IS a "izzare" request.
(No proofreading at that mag?)
Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 25, 2006 at 10:39 AM
Madonna is Adrian Monk in disguise! Who knew?
Posted by: Renee (the First) | July 25, 2006 at 10:39 AM
Yet she didn't seem to mind how many visitors her assal area has had over the past 30 yrs!
Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 25, 2006 at 10:40 AM
It's for this very reason that I'm trying to invent the toilet seat that disappears when you try to sit on it. You just can't get any more sanitary than a toilet seat that you can't EVER sit on.
And it would completely eliminate the problem of hover-peeing.
Okay, maybe "eliminate" was a bad word choice. :)
Posted by: Nobody | July 25, 2006 at 10:42 AM
Nothing so crazy about that. I used to play in rock band. I would demand free beer. Sometimes I got it, too.
Posted by: mudstuffin | July 25, 2006 at 10:45 AM
Punkin, you and I are thinking alike. I'd want the toilet seat changed AFTER she uses it!
Posted by: fivver | July 25, 2006 at 10:46 AM
Kibby -- BM leaks? That was more appropriate than you know!
Posted by: Renee (the First) | July 25, 2006 at 10:46 AM
that's a little too much - if she's the only one using it in HER dressing room - afraid of catching her own germs then?? boggles the mind...
Posted by: Siouxie | July 25, 2006 at 10:47 AM
Whoops -- "links," not "leaks."
(Although "leaks" is even MORE appropriate, come to think of it.)
Posted by: Renee (the First) | July 25, 2006 at 10:47 AM
Five bucks says they're going up on eBay after she's done with 'em.
Posted by: Suzy Q | July 25, 2006 at 10:47 AM
Mud - maybe your daughter can go into business? Looks like the perfect client right there.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | July 25, 2006 at 10:48 AM
Also, how does one apply for the position of "Madonna's toilet inspector"?
Posted by: Suzy Q | July 25, 2006 at 10:50 AM
*snork*
After all those weird requests, I had trouble figuring out what a "love seat" was.
Ohhhh, a love seat!!! *snorkage*
Posted by: Cheryl | July 25, 2006 at 10:51 AM
she wants a clean seat to DEPOSIT germs
Posted by: Chaz | July 25, 2006 at 10:58 AM
Suzy Q - I'm sure there's someone out there stupid enough to buy that dirty skanky thang!
Posted by: Siouxie | July 25, 2006 at 11:01 AM
SzQ 'n' SNUCC:
I'm not sure I believe this report since we've never heard of these Used-Only-Once-by-Madonna toilet seats for sale on eBay.
Posted by: Lairbo | July 25, 2006 at 11:03 AM
"She said: "Who wouldn't want a new toilet seat wherever they go."
and wherever they go they shall have a new toilet seat. why doesnt she just bring her own? grrr.
never mind, the puns on this are overwhelming.
but i can tell you, that the people working in the NYS thruway rest stops really couldnt get down with this idea.
Posted by: queensbee | July 25, 2006 at 11:07 AM
Gee, I thought it was going to be another Brittany bulletin. You've got to specify with these bulletins.
Posted by: Kathybear | July 25, 2006 at 11:11 AM
Someone should super-glue her to one.
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | July 25, 2006 at 11:17 AM
But but.... what if the commode splashes unpure water on her backside? Will she next require the entire commode be replaced?
Posted by: catman | July 25, 2006 at 11:18 AM
she fills it up with Kabalah water??? blesses her @ss in the process...
Posted by: Siouxie | July 25, 2006 at 11:20 AM
She also requires three candles to protect her from negative vibes and mean-spiritedness, a relaxing foot spa complete with lavender and camomile body soak, plenty of Kabbalah water, and a love seat.
1. Obviously, the candles didn't work
2. WTF is kabbalah water, or is it what she deposits in her newly installed toilet?
3. A Love Seat WBAGNF Madonna's new toilet
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | July 25, 2006 at 11:29 AM
Madonna is whacked. Has anybody compared her handwriting to that on the letters from the crazy person??? Cuz I couldn't blame Dave for wanting to shoot HER - and her "un-responded-to-request" was probably that she wanted Dave to replace her Miami Herald with each page turn!
Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 25, 2006 at 11:32 AM
Maybe she puts the Kabbalah water in her bidet so she can appropriately absorb all the religion has to offer...
Posted by: 24-aholic | July 25, 2006 at 11:44 AM
Didn't this blog once alert us to an article on some other diva demanding her own throne on the road?
Like, maybe Janet Jackson (who seems to want to be known as simply "Janet") or Mariah.
No doubt these two are duking it out hoping that being known by a single name will make one of them the new
MadonnaCher.And, no, I won't go anywhere near Barry Manilow jokes.
Posted by: scat/sfo | July 25, 2006 at 11:46 AM
24-aholic,
If Madonna (or anyone else) wanted to absorb all that Kabbalah has to offer, she needs only to fill her ear canal with Kabbalah water. Then again, given the space available between her ears, she may need a funnel to maintain a steady supply of the stuff.
Posted by: Dylan | July 25, 2006 at 11:51 AM
"She also requires three candles to protect her from negative vibes and mean-spiritedness,"
Perhaps she wouldn't draw negative vibes and mean-spiritedness if she didn't make demands like a new toilet seat every night. Just sayin'.
Posted by: Ol' Chumbucket | July 25, 2006 at 12:18 PM
I don't know about Mariah requesting her own throne on the road, but I do know that when she performed in San Jose a few years ago she demanded that the carpeting in her dressing room be replaced because she had to have it be white.
Posted by: Sarah J | July 25, 2006 at 12:24 PM
("Open Your Heart")
My requirements may seem a little high
A lot of 'em I do just to make you ask "why?"
If you were a star you'd also see
That most of y'all are here just to serve me
But you just keep buyimg tickets, now buy a clue
Kabbalah roses (whatever those are)
A brand new set of fixtures and KY by the jar!
I'm hoping I start to see
A new toilet seat when I start to pee
I'm hoping that you don't hear fartin'
'Cause I'll have you killed (for a minimal fee).
Posted by: insomniac | July 25, 2006 at 12:26 PM
So there's some poor sod out there with a job to inspect Madonna's toilet seat before each show to make sure it is new?
You couldn't pay me enough...
Posted by: Higgy | July 25, 2006 at 12:51 PM
What is Kabbala water?
Posted by: MrBill | July 25, 2006 at 12:55 PM
I believe it is similar to this:
"Cows' urine source of lake trouble "
Posted by: 24-aholic | July 25, 2006 at 12:57 PM
24 -She can have all she can drink!
Posted by: MrBill | July 25, 2006 at 01:03 PM
Agreed.
Posted by: 24-aholic | July 25, 2006 at 01:06 PM
Once upon a time I had a gig in the photo production department of an internationally known sports apparel manufacturer. When famous athletes needed to look sweaty during photo shoots, we were required to spritz them down with EVIAN water. No just plain tap water out of a plant mister for them.
Why does reasonableness often fly out the door when fame walks in?
Posted by: Sallyacious | July 25, 2006 at 01:25 PM
maybe...in all her kabbalah-goodness, she's just trying to protect the rest of the world from her butt. After all, she's been around a few times, IYKWIM (and I think you do).
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | July 25, 2006 at 01:35 PM
Annie - there ain't enough Kabbalah water in the world to cleanse that butt...
Posted by: Siouxie | July 25, 2006 at 01:40 PM
And I thought Jerry Lewis wearing brand new socks every day was the ultimate in self-indulgence. She doesn't need a seal on the toilet seat, she needs one on her naughty bits that are in proximity to said seat.
Posted by: Layzeeboy | July 25, 2006 at 02:24 PM
I was told that Red Skelton had to be (ahem) orally gratified before he went on stage for every show.
Now that's a perk!
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | July 25, 2006 at 06:06 PM
Jeff - no, that's a JERK!
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | July 25, 2006 at 06:14 PM
Gee I never thought Red Skelton was funny to begin with - now I wonder if it was because he was drained.... :)
Posted by: Eleanor | July 25, 2006 at 07:13 PM
*groan*! at El.
Funny, he didn't look flexible enough to be able to do something like that to himself.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | July 25, 2006 at 07:26 PM
A letter from a dinner party Madonna attended.
Dear Madonna,
I hope you enjoyed the Kabbalah water and candles we left in your room. However, if you sprinkle when you tinkle.... Well, I'm sure you know the rest.
Love always,
P.S. Would you please bring your own toliet seat next time you come over. We like the glittery kind.
Posted by: Woogienthecat | July 26, 2006 at 08:52 AM
Considering all the GIANT PINK TESTICLES she has let near her ass all these years...
Isn't that a bit like closing the barn door after...?
Posted by: catharine | July 26, 2006 at 09:50 AM