ATTENTION, NY GIANTS FANS

Here is the opportunity of a lifetime.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

UPDATE: And here is a very special item for clinically insane people Red Sox fans (thanks to Andrew Hoenig).

Comments

[Siouxie]

We do NOT drink. Sumos believe it demeans their lifestyle. At halftime, we will get a soda to share, but never alcohol.

that leaves most of us out

[djtonyb]

Ummmm... I think I'll pass...

[Siouxie]

first again!!!

[aarif]

There is no Pixar film called "Ants"

[thisbearbites]

aarif - most people don't know that.
Sweaty, smelly, sharing warm cola, the previous wearer had an oozing skin problem........*shudders*

[thisbearbites]

As for the update - No low-flows allowed!

[Cheryl]

Let's see ... 1986 ... that was pre-Big Papi.

Whew!!!

[Meanie the Blue]

I'll consider the world a far better place if we could put the initial item into the update item, and get rid of both.

[Jeff Meyerson]

I can't believe this. A great offer...and Punkin is on vacation!

[Cheryl]

Meanie ... do I smell a Jets fan? (Not literally ...)

[Meanie the Blue]

Nah, Cheryl, I put a lot of deodorant on today because of the heat (not because of The Heat).

Actually, I'm more Giants fan than Jets, but I'll root for both unless they're playing each other. Same way with Yanks and Mets.

While I love sports, I do happen to think that the sumo nuts are, well, just that. And to offer a locker room toilet for auction speaks to a fundamental psychosis that needs some looking into analysis treatment.

[Chaz]

how big was GI that he got two letters and the other sonly have one each?

[Punkin Poo]

Jeff - I'm baaaaaack!

We New Englanders were aware of this "once in a lifetime" offer last week....my bid is in...

I think it will make a lovely planter.

[Suzy Q]

No alcohol? No, thanks.

[24-aholic]

"3) We do NOT drink. Sumos believe it demeans their lifestyle. At halftime, we will get a soda to share, but never alcohol"

You're telling me I'm supposed to walk around in a fat suit sober??? That is just crazy.

[24-aholic]

And a big ewwwwww to the update

[queensbee]

lemme guess here -- the football fan is a single guy, right? and the red sox suck. but i'm a met fan.

[will]

They won't drink, because that demeans Sumos, but standing around a football game in a fatsuit with the letters "GI" painted on it is respectful to the Sumo lifestyle?

[billinbossier]

OK...I am in Louisiana, so am not a Giants fans.
No drinking?
A fat sweaty suit?
I pass.

[Kev]

It looks like the first link was removed. Anyone want to fill in a latecomer on what the story was?

[idfx]

Someone did. Here.

[bozo]

I hereby claim this thread in the name of clown freedom.

[leaf]

Woo hoo! Free the clowns!!!

[The Dragon]

How 'bout dragons. Need a dragon hereabouts??

[southerngirl]

or southerngals who like craWfish and okra and such?

[bozo]

Oops, somebunny doesn't get it yet!

[The Dragon]

Can I *FOOM* her?

[bozo]

She enjoys it too much.

[leaf]

Well, good morning, friends! What a pleasure meeting you all here in the land of clinically insane people loving friends.

Is it too early for monkeys?

*morning smooches all around*

[double you]

um, i think she gets it now

[double you]

mmmm...coffee...guess if can't go back to bed, that'll have to do. :)

[leaf]

*SNORK* @ "double you"

[double you]

i had to establish that right from the start, so nobody can say there aren't any available. ;)

[Y]

But, double you... why?

[The Dragon]

Zee....now zat's a zilly question....!

*SMOOOOOCH!!*

Hello my friends!!

[southerngirl]

so certain damnyankees can pronounce craWfish correctly, for a change ;p

hello, dragon sistah! :)

[The Dragon]

Oops. She still doesn't get it.

*FOOOOOOM!*

[double you]

she does too get it, but her internet is being screwy and remembered her wrong even when she had the correct box checked and now she's gotten FOOMED and...and...

*SOBS*

[anonymous person]

i think somebody needs a gumball.

[The Dragon]

*chews on a gumball*

*tries another *FOOOOOOOM!!*

*accidentally blows a HYYOOOOOOOOOOOGE bubble instead and floats happily around the "Room of Requirement" we found in our hour of need*

*wonders as she does if there's anyone here who hasn't read the Harry Potter books and will have NO idea what that means*

POP!

........Ooooops.....

*falls on her dragon-fanny with sticky bubble-gum all over her face*

[double you]

*imagines a dragon-bubble floating around the room*

*snorks*

*hears a thud as the bubble bursts*

*wonders if the dragon needs a hand*

*applauds*

*grabs a handful of gumballs and makes a hasty retreat*

[The Dragon]

*chases after gumball thief*

*slips on gumballs and flails arms wildly around while trying to regain balance*

*fails utterly*

[leaf]

*enjoys the show*

*is grateful for Dentyne*

[double you]

*hears another thud*

*curiously wanders in*

*trips over the dragon and falls on her ass*

*sends a *stern look* to leaf*

we can hear you laughin, you know

[The Dragon]

*snicker*

The doofi sistahs, together again!

[double you]

hey, who you callin a doofi, sistah? ;p

[leaf]

Um... all of us?

*grins*

[The Dragon]

Yah! And I think I just invented a new cookie for us......

The Snickerdoofus!!!

[double you]

snack time!!!

so leaf, have you noticed, since the dragon has spent some time at home with her family, how much her wisconsin is showin?

NTTAWWT, y'all ;)

[The Scarlet Manuka]

*peeks head around corner*

*sees lights and peoples*

*scurries back into the shadows*

[The Dragon]

HEEEEEE!

The international contingent has checked in!

*sets out Pineapple Lumps and Peanut Slabs, hoping to coax out the elusive NZ Manuka*

[double you]

*reaches into the shadows and drags the manuka into the lights*

yer stuck here now, young lady!

[The Scarlet Manuka]

*grabs Peanut Slabs and settles in the corner*

Okay, I'm here.. but I can't stay :(

*breaks open a bottle of NZ sauv blanc*

Anyone want to share?

[The Dragon]

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

.....*ahem*...

I mean, Yes please.

*holds out glass*

[The Scarlet Manuka]

*pours*

oops.. that's not too much, is it?

*does a little dance*

[The Dragon]

Too much wine??

.....IS there such a thing??

[double you]

*prepares super stealth spy cam*

*records the dance of the elusive manuka, for posterity (not posterior)*

but i don't like wine...any beer around here?

[The Dragon]

Well, duh. Halfway has everything a sistah needs.

*tosses s-girl a Bud Ice*

[double you]

yay...thanks!

*takes a big ol chug*

*burps*

oh, um...sorry...

[leaf]

HOLY CRAP! We have pineapple lumps??

I really, really like it here.

*purrs*

[double you]

ok, will somebody please enlighten me, as far as pineapple lumps are concerned?

[leaf]

I have never actually tasted them, but I have heard our lil' Scarlet Manuka speak of pineapple lumps before, and now I must have some.

If I can try okra and crayfish crawfish and limey octopus and survive, I'm sure as heck not going to miss out on pineapple lumps.

*celebrates diversity food diverse food*

[The Dragon]

I have tasted them. And they are NUMMY!!!

Mmmmmmmmm.....Pineapple Lumps.........

*Homer droooool*

[double you]

would these help?

[damnyankee]

craYfish!

just sayin

[double you]

whoo hoo!

now we've got some testosterone around here! ;)

but...

so certain damnyankees can pronounce craWfish correctly, for a change ;p

did you miss this part?!?

[The Dragon]

*SNORK!*

Nice to see that some things never change...

[double you]

nobody wants to disappoint the dragon :)

[The Dragon]

Aw!

*offers double you a dragon-napkin for her Pineapple Lumps*

[damnyankee]

as a matter of fact, i did not miss that part

but you didn't actually expect i'd just go along with it, didja??

[double you]

*sigh*

no, i didn't

just thought maybe for once you'd be feelin a little non-contrary ;p

[The Dragon]

GAH!!

Gawd, I HOPE not! What fun would that be??

:p

[double you]

this is true!

[leaf]

Who's this non-contrary? And why -- in the name of all that is good and W -- would the damn yankee want to be feeling her?

[double you]

And why -- in the name of all that is good and W

*SNORK*

and non-contrary is super secret code for...um, never mind...it's a secret ;)

[damnyankee]

the damnyankee never feels non-contrary

wouldnt be right

[The Dragon]

Huh. Well, maybe it would be fun after all!

[double you]

all of us are a little bit of contrary and a whole lot of smartassedness

it's part of our charm!

[double you]

cept for bozo...he's never a smartass, right, leaf?

HAR!

[The Dragon]

*chokes*

*coughs*

*FFOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!*

Yeep!!

*dumps ice bucket over double you's head to put out the flames*

Sorry 'bout that, sistah!

[double you]

sheesh, we've only just gotten here, and you've already *FFOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMED!!!!!!* me twice!

but actually, considerin the heat over here, that ice didn't feel all that bad!

[damnyankee]

a more-than-slightly singed double you....

now that's somethin you dont see every day

[The Dragon]

*looks sheepish*

The second one was an accident...I swear!

[damnyankee]

a dragon lookin sheepish....

now that's somethin you dont see every day

[southerngirl]

well, when you get *FFOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMED!!!!!!* singed!

[double you]

dammit, i did not check that box!!!

and i meant to say "you tend to get" singed

[double you]

actually, i did say it, but the bot or somethin ate that part.

*hurries off before she gets FFFOOOOOMED again*

*tosses the dragon another gumball, as a precautionary measure*

[The Dragon]

A damnyankee lookin confused...

now that's somethin you don't.....

...oh, wait. Nevermind. :p

*munches happily on gumball*

[leaf]

Hm, we got sheep, we got a singed non-yankee-type person, we got a flaming dragon... dinner's ready!!!

[leaf]

Aw, crap... leaves burn at very low temperatures, don't th...AIIIIIEEEEE!!!

[damnyankee]

well, as long as i only look confused.....

[double you]

*snorks* at all of you crazy kids

[damnyankee]

OK, im gonna go see what i can do about gettin confused for real :)

later gators

[Zarg]

Hey, did someone call the fire department? They're outside looking for a way to get in here....

*climbs up and removes battery from blaring smoke detector*

K. That's better. Hey all, this really great lady with a small pyro problem (but who am I to complain that she's so hot?)told me I should stop by if I get a chance...

I didn't get a chance really, but I snuck by on my way to some more werk type stuff.

Damn, the smoky smell in here puts me in the mood for bacon....Mmmm, maybe I can get out to get a BLT with PICKLE! for lunch.

*ducks out trying to not be seen*

[The Dragon]

*sees*

*grabs!*

*smoooOOOOOooooches*

And I promise not to laugh at your PICKLE! this time. :p

[The Dragon]

...Even if you eat it with a SPORK!

:p

[double you]

*also sees, grabs, and smooches zarg*

it was a "welcome, glad yer here" kinda *grab and smooch*, so don't freak out or anything, 'kay? ;p

and um, zarg?

you wouldn't be callin it a "small pyro problem"
if you were the one bein *FFOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMED!!!!!!* all the danged time!

*loves the dragon a gumball, just in case*

[The Dragon]

*hangs head in shame*

Hi. I'm a dragon, and I have a *FOOOOM* problem.

[*FOOOOM*ics Anonymous]

*speaking in somber tone*

Hello, Dragon.

[The Dragon]

(and I actually suspect he rather likes being *FOOOOOMED!!!!*....just sayin'!)