ATTENTION, CONSUMERS OF SOY SAUCE
Whatever you do, do not read too far down in this article.
(Thanks to RussellMc)
Post a comment
Your Information
(Name is required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)
« Previous | Main | Next »
July 28, 2006
Comments
You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.
Verify your Comment
Previewing your Comment
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment
As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.
Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.
OMG - read way too far.
Why can't I listen??
Posted by: sthnbelle | July 28, 2006 at 01:01 PM
icky sticky
Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 28, 2006 at 01:01 PM
Don't read too far down?!?! How about, don't read the title?
and....it's lunch time.
Posted by: slyeyes | July 28, 2006 at 01:03 PM
I mean, BBBRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 28, 2006 at 01:04 PM
Yikes, I misread "Arousing the Public"!
Posted by: Just Happy To Be Alive | July 28, 2006 at 01:04 PM
Is the sweet and sour sauce still safe?
Posted by: 24-aholic | July 28, 2006 at 01:05 PM
Hey folks - I can make a yummy worcestershire sauce out of my toe jam!
Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 28, 2006 at 01:05 PM
CONDOM???
Posted by: Leetie | July 28, 2006 at 01:06 PM
Yes, but no MSG
Posted by: Sean | July 28, 2006 at 01:07 PM
*Vows not to return to this thread*
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | July 28, 2006 at 01:08 PM
Alert bloggers will recall that Dave warned us against fake hair-soy previously. Of course, alert bloggers that remember that are total geeks in need of a life, since it was over two years ago.
Still, noting like a classic to keep me... I mean the alert geek bloggers happy.
Posted by: «LabSpecimen» | July 28, 2006 at 01:13 PM
I'm with Meanie. Packin' up and movin' on.
Posted by: blurkernomore | July 28, 2006 at 01:13 PM
I was just going to ask judi if this was blogged before, so thanks Lab for confirming it.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | July 28, 2006 at 01:16 PM
Gift of the Magi, updated...
Jim: Oh, Della, what happened to your beautiful hair?
Della: I had it turned into soy sauce for these wonderful burgers you brought home!
Jim: Della, the meat for those burgers came from my ...(story becomes illegible, mercifully)
Della: Oh , Jim, let's never eat again!
Posted by: insomniac | July 28, 2006 at 01:19 PM
Yumm - the new soy sauce, goes well with soylent green.
Posted by: hd4mtns | July 28, 2006 at 01:21 PM
I just threw up a LOT in my mouth
Posted by: Chaz | July 28, 2006 at 01:23 PM
oh..yuk - had to stop reading...thanks Russell
Posted by: Siouxie | July 28, 2006 at 01:26 PM
*snork* My nephew just got back from seven weeks in China. Of course I've sent him this article!
Posted by: fivver | July 28, 2006 at 01:32 PM
Never in my life have I been so happy that I detest soy sauce.
Posted by: Ann | July 28, 2006 at 01:35 PM
PEEEEEEPULLLL!!!!! SOYLENT SAUCE IS MADE OUT OF PEEEEPULLL!!!!
Posted by: otis wildflower | July 28, 2006 at 01:35 PM
um. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Posted by: queensbee | July 28, 2006 at 01:35 PM
*snork* @ insom
Unofficial Blog Contest:
Come up with THE grossest meal you can think of using actual foods...
Example:
hotdogs with soy-hair sauce, blood pudding etc...
Use only real, edible (if disgusting) ingredients and put together a meal with entree, dessert & beverage.
Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 28, 2006 at 01:37 PM
Oh, and, uh, the Grand Prize Winner will be determined by blog vote and will receive a lovely set of airsick bags with colorful advertisements, plus a large bottle of Pepto Bismol ™ , not to mention the esteem and fear of every bloglit.
Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 28, 2006 at 01:40 PM
ew, Punkin i'm going to have to leave the blog now...this is why i don't watch fear factor!
i find the timing of this thread funny...my mom emailed me today and said that my dad was in a rush out the door and knocked a soy sauce bottle out of the fridge and it broke on the floor...so she was left with a puddle and a nasty smell this morning to clean up.
Posted by: Betsi | July 28, 2006 at 01:44 PM
It took 8 posts and 5 minutes for Leetie to ask about the condom... hmmm
*tips cap to Leetie
Posted by: obi wan | July 28, 2006 at 01:46 PM
Gee Betsi, my dog greeted me yesterday afternoon with the same. And it wasn't soy sauce.
Posted by: fivver | July 28, 2006 at 01:46 PM
How did they even figure this out to begin with???
"Hmmm, we're running low on soy sauce stuff. What should we do?"
"Well, we could make it out of my hair, I suppose."
"Splendid idea! This is why we keep you on here."
Posted by: Cheryl | July 28, 2006 at 01:48 PM
How about rocky mountain oysters as the appetizer, and haggis with schmaltz for the main course?
Dessert? How about squid ink ice cream courtesy of the Iron Chef...
Posted by: otis wildflower | July 28, 2006 at 01:53 PM
I think I'm going to subsist on nice, nourishing air from now on.
Posted by: artchick | July 28, 2006 at 01:54 PM
It gets worse than just condoms....why do I insist on reading these things?
Posted by: Olo Baggins of Bywater | July 28, 2006 at 01:55 PM
It wasn't the condom that grossed me out--it was the photograph of the Q-tip™.
Posted by: bookworm | July 28, 2006 at 01:56 PM
Otis - good try! However my puke-o-meter is only in the yellow zone....
Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 28, 2006 at 01:57 PM
insom: My sister's name is Della. I didn't know she had a boyfiend. Her husband's name is Steve, but strangely, I haven't seen him in awhile.
Posted by: Suzy Q | July 28, 2006 at 01:59 PM
"The Cheap Soy Sauce That Aroused the Public"- I can't even get aroused with expensive $200+ per hour soy sauce. But I can be turned on by a nice candle light dinner & a bottle of wine....
"Hey folks - I can make a yummy worcestershire sauce out of my toe jam!"
Posted by: Punkin Poo | 01:05 PM on July 28, 2006
Hey Punnkin Poo- What did Jeffrey Dahmer spread on his toast?
Toe jam.
Posted by: catharine | July 28, 2006 at 02:01 PM
that explains the hairball i coughed up last night after leaving the budget priced chinese buffet!
Posted by: crossgirl | July 28, 2006 at 02:10 PM
Appetizer: Fluffy mackeral pudding or Frankfurter Surprise (from the Weight Watchers cards)
Main course: Grilled scorpions and silkworm larvae (from the lovely Chinese slide show on July 18)
Dessert: Bertie Botts™ beans, bacon, soap and vomit flavored
Posted by: bookworm | July 28, 2006 at 02:17 PM
By the way, Punkin, please say you won't make us actually eat the winning meal, will you?
Posted by: bookworm | July 28, 2006 at 02:19 PM
Last nights chinese dinner is trying to make an emergency exit from my body right now....why can't I learn to heed the warnings?
Posted by: Baltimore Kat | July 28, 2006 at 02:28 PM
Yuck. This is the most barf-making article I've ever read--exceeded in nauseaous quality only by the comments!!
Posted by: JEK | July 28, 2006 at 02:32 PM
Super. I went to Benihana for a team lunch yesterday. Now I cannot get out of my head the slow-motion image of our chef pouring soy sauce as he prepared the fried rice. *shivers and cries a little bit
As for the contest, I don't have time to brainstorm a full menu, but I have a few ideas. When I was far less mature and found this type of thing funny, I used to make my fraternity's pledges eat Uncle Moe's Popcorn during hell week. This consisted of buttered popcorn with tripe and sardines. Most retched, but a few loved it. Of course, they had been subsisting on similar delicacies for several days at that point.
Posted by: Moe | July 28, 2006 at 02:38 PM
How fitting - spam.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | July 28, 2006 at 02:49 PM
*snork* at the ill-placed spam. :-)
"Great site. Sounds delicious. Good information."
Posted by: Cheryl | July 28, 2006 at 02:50 PM
bookworm - I gotta say the fluffy mackeral pudding caused a little gag in the back of my throat.
But I'm looking for a meal that will make my stomach actually try to leave my body.
Do your worst!
Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 28, 2006 at 02:50 PM
Perhaps spam is made with human hair, as well.
EWWWWWWW .... thinking like an eight-year-old now.
Posted by: Cheryl | July 28, 2006 at 02:51 PM
Yum! Fluffy mackerel pudding!!!
This gross food discussion reminds me of the days my siblings and I made up foods to be sold at the "International Garbage Association" (IGA) We came up with all sorts of things from cardboard graham crackers to dishes involving batter-fried squid eyeballs. We had a song and everything (I was 9 or 10)
Posted by: Sarah J | July 28, 2006 at 02:55 PM
This would be a visual treat - pickled pigs feet & snout on a bed of maggotty looking rice. Mmmmmmm....with Irish Moss Pudding (main ingredient - seaweed), downed with a glass of room temperature egg white. Phlemalicious!
Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 28, 2006 at 02:55 PM
You'll also need the right kitchen gadget to prepare the perfect meal, Punkin.
Posted by: Meanie the Blue | July 28, 2006 at 02:59 PM
(meekly states) sorry.......
I should have realized it's been blogged (dern that brain cell loss and short term memory issue).... Hey look, an Erdinger
Posted by: russell | July 28, 2006 at 03:00 PM
hurka-hurka-hurka-hurka-HUAP!
(Sorry, just coughing up a soysauceball.)
Posted by: Sallyacious | July 28, 2006 at 03:08 PM
Punkin: haggis and head cheese
Posted by: Suzy Q | July 28, 2006 at 03:08 PM
Why do I keep returning to this thread?
Posted by: 24-aholic | July 28, 2006 at 03:13 PM
Appetizer: Rocky Mt. oysters...raw...dipped in lard.
Entree: Freshly caught rainbow trout...uncleaned.
Dessert: Jello mold filled with cottage cheese and turnip greens.
Posted by: blurkernomore | July 28, 2006 at 03:19 PM
hmm ok...moving right along.... **BARF**
Posted by: Siouxie | July 28, 2006 at 03:26 PM
There is only one person to call to solve this soy sauce crisis...
Kikkoman!!!
Posted by: Brad | July 28, 2006 at 03:30 PM
SNORK at Brad, and all the menus y'all are creating.
Posted by: me | July 28, 2006 at 03:39 PM
How about this menu: Bird's Nest Soup (The nests are built during the breeding season by the male swiftlet. The nests are composed of interwoven strands of salivary laminae cement. Both nests have high levels of calcium, iron, potassium, and magnesium. Also the nests contain argan oil made from argan nut which had to pass through the digestive tract of a goat) followed by weasel coffee (coffee beans have been eaten and regurgitated by rare Vietnamese weasels).
Posted by: me | July 28, 2006 at 03:53 PM
Say it's not so, Kikkoman! Say it's not so!
Posted by: ZBeebs | July 28, 2006 at 03:59 PM
Captain, there be children (er... whales) here.
Posted by: Rusty1 | July 28, 2006 at 04:09 PM
"that explains the hairball i coughed up last night after leaving the budget priced chinese buffet!"
Posted by: crossgirl | 02:10 PM on July 28, 2006
Crossgirl- I just hope you weren't "accidentally" served Hello Kitty!!!!!!!! Yikes!
Posted by: catharine | July 28, 2006 at 04:15 PM
*still wondering how the Chinese get condoms in their hair? maybe it's some inscrutable **snork** oriental thing*
Posted by: fivver | July 28, 2006 at 04:17 PM
"Why do I keep returning to this thread?"
Posted by: 24-aholic | 03:13 PM on July 28, 2006
Well, 24. You should know by now that an hour after eating Chinese Soy Hair Sauce you will be hungry for more.
Posted by: catharine | July 28, 2006 at 04:19 PM
All right, Punkin. You started this little pukefest. Where'd ya go?
Posted by: blurkernomore | July 28, 2006 at 04:21 PM
"*still wondering how the Chinese get condoms in their hair? maybe it's some inscrutable **snork** oriental thing*"
Posted by: fivver | 04:17 PM on July 28, 2006
Good God, fivver!!!!! You cracked the mystery of the condoms in the hair! It's PUBIC HAIR in the soy sauce!!! Everybody run for your
kniveslives.Posted by: catharine | July 28, 2006 at 04:24 PM
AAIIIIYYYYYEEE. I was hoping it was some bizarre summer of love thing...
If you're going to Peking City,
be sure to wear some condoms in your hair.
Posted by: fivver | July 28, 2006 at 04:30 PM
catharine -
Thanks. Now I am barfing for real.
Posted by: Sallyacious | July 28, 2006 at 04:50 PM
Blurkie - Thunderstorms here.....wreaking havoc with the elec *zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzp!*
Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 28, 2006 at 05:20 PM
Okay - I think raw, rocky mountain oysters dipped in lard are a
sickeningwonderful appetizer....we'll keep that one......Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 28, 2006 at 05:23 PM
Yay! I got picked.
Everybody dig in!
Posted by: blurkernomore | July 28, 2006 at 05:24 PM
Rocky mountain oysters dipped in lard = shweddy balls?
Posted by: Cheryl | July 28, 2006 at 05:38 PM
EWWWW course if ya put soy sauce on 'em they'd be schweddy hairy balls?? *gag*
Posted by: Siouxie | July 28, 2006 at 05:41 PM
Show me,
your pubes,
Kikko-man!
Posted by: Brad | July 28, 2006 at 05:52 PM
Cheryl - *snork*!
And Schweddy Balls
is not to be confused with
SNORKBalls!
Posted by: Cat R. | July 28, 2006 at 05:54 PM
*SNORK*
Cheryl and Cat R. I'm friggin' ROLLIN'!!!
Posted by: blurkernomore | July 28, 2006 at 05:57 PM
Hair soy - Don't knock until you try it. It will put hair on your chest.
Posted by: Wramblin' Wreck | July 28, 2006 at 11:56 PM
The SNORKBalls look like the love child of Pac-Man and the langoliers....
Posted by: Ann | July 29, 2006 at 12:23 AM
By the way:
The anagram for "Hair Soy Sauce": "Is a saucy hero".
Just thought I'd pass that along.
Posted by: catharine | July 29, 2006 at 08:40 AM
Wramblin' - it's the hair in my intestines I'd be worried about!
Posted by: Punkin Poo | July 29, 2006 at 09:51 AM
Ms. Poo - A good point. But think of it like a fiber filled water bed. No more sloshing!
Posted by: Wramblin' Wreck | July 29, 2006 at 10:58 AM
Has no one noticed that the author, Alexander Tse-Yan Lee, works for Queers Network Research?
Posted by: me | August 02, 2006 at 03:36 PM