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June 07, 2006

WHEN PEOPLE ASK THIS BLOG: WHAT IS THE KEY TO ACADEMIC SUCCESS?

This blog replies: bladder control.

(Thanks to Jaybird)

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I'm full of sh!t - do I get an A?

I wonder if there is much of a demand for depends around test time there?

anything for a good grade...

So, if its biology class and you go to the bathroom could you qualify it as a field research for extra credit?

With only five or so minutes between classes, students must make potentially life-altering decisions: Should I go, or should I flirt with my locker neighbor?

to pee or not to pee...life altering?

Restrooms, of course, have been a choice milieu for school scofflaws since the advent of indoor plumbing.

scofflaws?

*snork*

i resent that

Brownsville Station are not amused....

not to worry CK - the motley crue version was better anyway

"I discourage them from leaving unless it's a real emergency. They've got to convince me."

I cannot make myself stop wondering what they have to do to convince her...

This explains how Werher Ehrhard got his start...

So the Mid term was a urine test?

TC,
Scary to admit, but you're probably right. Even scarier: I like the Guns N' Roses version of "Knocking on Heaven's Door" better than the original or Clapton's cover....

I'll probably burn for that...

One of my teachers had a pretty nice way of handling this problem. You could go to the bathroom during class without damaging your grade, but of course you had to take the bathroom pass. The pass itself was what limited hooliganry: It was an appliance-sized cardboard box with head- and arm-holes cut out of it and "Bathroom Pass" written in large letters.

On a different note, it's nice to see that in this age of grade-inflation, a student can get a B and still be named Valedictorian.

In junior high, one sadistic teacher I had turned the science-classroom sink on when a girl needed to use the bathroom, "to see if she really had to go." She ended up running down the hall without a pass. (A few years ago that man was barred from teaching b/c he apparently sexually molested several students.)

"We can vote. We can go to war. We should be able to pee when we want" WBAGphraseFAbumpersticker

And apparently bladder control is a "vital skill" in Washington area high schools. Whho knew?

And this is why we should send our children to school in diapers. Besides preventing those unnecessary bathroom breaks, it cuts down on the sex appeal among older students.

Seriously,
Are you REALLY going to miss that much passing of knowledge in the three or four minutes it takes to run to the restroom and back?

Just wait until the teacher has wandered off on some tangent topic that probably won't even be on the test and then go.

It would really suck to be a student with diabetes insipidus in those schools

I'm sure I would have missed vital information in AP English, given that all my teacher did was read our previous night's Hamlet assignment to us the next day, adopting a weird, bad Irish accent every time he said "Laertes," had I gone to the restroom three steps down the hall.

Or my Spanish class where a student said "LOS TRES OJOS!" (eyes) instead of "OROS" (bears).

Come to think of it, I would have been better off spending all day in the bathroom. At least I would have learned something off of what the walls had written on them.

Yet another reason why I DON'T miss Maryland!

Is there anything that THEY are not trying to regulate???

*feels dismayed by this*

Let me share some of the bathroom trips students at schools, where I have worked, have made...

1. Writing on walls
2. Puttting shaving cream on walls
3. Meeting a friend....for ???
4. Smoking
5. Drugs
6. 1/2 hour break wandering the halls
7. Making phone calls
8. Getting answers to a test
9. Leaving the building
10. Sleeping
11. Breaking toilets
12. And some may actually be using the bathroom.

(No, these are not in a "bad" school. Small town U.S.A. with "regular" kids)

Thank god my sister went to Georgetown Day School instead of public school. She'd be dead of a bladder infection by now, otherwise.

Yep, Lucy, I had one student in particular who would take "bathroom breaks" for #3 and #5 all at once.

"Sometimes, I'll just go through the book, and I'll see how many times I've gone to the bathroom in the year"

But at least she had to be IN THE CLASSROOM to go through the book!

They need to tell them kids to tie those pee pees in a knot. Don't rightly know whut to tell them girls to do. Ifn ya need to go to the restroom because ya actually have to pee, ya ought to be shot. Be a man pee in them pants.

nutz!

Um, Ann? "Bears" in Spanish is/are "osos". "Oro" means "gold", and "oros" would be the plural or multiple which could possibly be translated as "golden", which is somewhere I am absolutely not going in this thread.

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