TERRORISM UPDATE

Now the bastards are using baboons to steal British flags.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Comments

[elvisonvelvet]

first!

[Annie Where-but-here]

Dame Edna? Is that you?

[Annie Where-but-here]

It's completely understandable. There's a shortage of tp, you know.

[O. the U(manity)]

I'm guessin' that the baboons would be better behaved than the (British) fans, if the keepers would let them out to go to the games ... but only if England won ... I hear them critters can be real animals when they're mad ...

[O. the U(manity)]

... the baboons can be animals when they're mad ... that's whut I meant ...

I know the British are animals, even when they're not mad ...

(Wouldja like a brief recap of the Brits treatment of all their various Empire conquests? Startin' with Ireland and Scotland, of course?)

[daisymae]

It's so frustrating when that happens! I always wondered who had stolen my American flag off my car after 9/11. Now I know it must have been a tribe of baboons! Case closed!

[O. the U(manity)]

BTW - Bazoomage alert ... it's Jane Russell's birthday or somethin' and they're runnin' a whole bunch of her movies on TCM ... merely ... observin' ...

[Annie Where-but-here]

Baboonage alert!

[Flash]

Anybody up for a little game of capture the flag?

[Sarah J]

BTW- I know a girl with the last name Bytheway and I think of her everytime I see BTW
/randomnessocity

[Punkin (must get sleep) Poo]

So we know who the Baboons are rooting for... but what about the monkeys? Perhaps they are amassing a cache of fabric to build a giant parasail with which to escape their unholy confines! What's that? Monkeys don't SEW, you say??? No need!! Do you have any idea of both the stickyosity factor and tensile strength of baboon feces????

Take cover while you can.... stockpile bananas.

[neophyte]

Take anything you want.
I was robbed by two baboons.

[Annie Where-but-here]

I'd pay to see them take on Lewis the Cat from Hell.

[AlaskaMe]

"My Baboon and your Baboon sitting by the fire, your Baboon says to my Baboon going to set your flag on fire! Talkin about HEY NOW, HEY NOW....."

[Annie Where-but-here]

"...and the big baboon one night in June,
He married them and very soon,
They went upon their abba-dabba honeymoon!"
...to England...to dance...in the rain.

[Sarah J]

neo- were you robbed or...

[neophyte]

SarahJ, there was no monkey business.

[Annie Where-but-here]

You gotta hand it to them...no really, you do - no opposable thumbs.

[Sean]

Ladies and gentlemen, a big hand for "Simian Semaphore"!

[CJrun]

Annie: funny, but all primates have opposible thumbs, except maybe Gerald Ford.

[Annie Where-but-here]

CJrun- ah, see, I set that up for OtheU to correct, and you hadda go and ruin it. :) (Actually, the colobus monkey doesn't have a thumb, but otherwise, you are correct.)

[CJrun]

Well, the 'gotta hand it' was still a *snork*

*scratches off Ford and colobus monkeyshine, adds in marsupials, carries the 2....*

[TCK]

OK, since when is gerald ford a primate?

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

They are secretly saving up for a flag-burning.

[O. the U(manity)]

Colobus monkeys?

Are they any relation to this guy?

[Sarah J]

UO- I LOVE that song. It's just too funny, even better that the audience is full of C-R surgeons

[Sean]

"OK, since when is gerald ford a primate?"
Well, he was the top banana...

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

OtheU-That's funny!

[O. the U(manity)]

Tnx ... SJ & LBFF ... MB(RH?) doesn't think much of it ... xcept she laughs whenever I play it ...

I keep it handy (on my desktop) merely for occasions like this one ...

[Sarah J]

My nutrition professor played it before lecture when we were going over digestion. Over and over again until class started and everyone had it running through their heads for the next week.

[Straw]

It's just like safari park officials to take all the fun out of a harmless hobby like flag-collecting. I suppose they put a ban on nit-picking as well.

[Michael H.]

Babooligans! Must not be England fans.

[Kat Clark]

And who said that the "Sun Never Sets on the British Empire?"

[Chris]

Hizb ut Tahrir hit by triple sex scandal LONDON

Hizb ut Tahrir – the extreme Muslim group who want to do away with freedom and democracy and replace it with Shariah – have had a bad week.

On Tuesday spokesman Jamal Harwood was revealed as one of the actors in Farmboys, the eighties hardcore gay porn movie about Canadian farmboys. As the hype for the film states, “There's no sexual laws where these gay men farmfuck from. Anything goes...and it sure does. 4 full hours of fierce ass fucking. With today's hottest gay XXX pornstars and lots of new faces! Produced & performed by gay men...for gay men.” One Hizb ut Tahrir member was not surprised by Harwood’s former life before he moved to the UK to become a radical Muslim, saying, “He always was a bit strange. Perhaps it was knowing that when his secret came out we’d have to hold a Sharia court and it was likely a wall would be pushed down on him for his hypocrisy.”

Just the week before, Hizb ut Tahrir Britain’s leader Dr Imran Waheed was told he would have to stand before Britain’s General Medical Council following allegations from a female patient at Queen Elizabeth’s (Psychiatric) Hospital in Birmingham who said that he fondled her breasts during a one-on-one session relating to her schizophrenia. This is not the first time the doctor has allegedly strayed – a female patient back in 1991 had to complain to hospital authorities about Waheed who “always had his flies undone when he saw her for private sessions”.

But surely the prize of 2007 must go to another Hizb ut Tahrir spokesperson, who goes by the name of Taji Mustafa and claims to have been born in London in 1971, though he is of Nigerian extraction. Mustafa was spotted dancing in London’s Shadow Lounge – a well known gay pick-up joint. When approached he said it was “his night off” and “go piss right off”. Holding a Long Island Ice Tea in one hand and a young boy from Bangkok in the other, Mustafa proceeded to maneuver himself across the club floor, falling on other club-goers before collapsing in a heap in a chair from where he tried to grope a group of party-goers in for the weekend from Paris.

One wonders what the various extorted Hizb ut Tahrir followers in Britain are thinking now. Suddenly Omar Bakri Mohammed’s group Al Mujahiroun can expect its numbers to swell. Though rumors abound that Bakri has been questioned by police in Beirut for touching children.

The plot thickens.

[Joey]

If your soliders do not comply with international agreements, the safety of your nations will be sevearly mitigated.

Following cities are tagged for acts of bravery, Shanghai, Delhi, Houston, Lagos, London.