SERIOUS HEAT FANS STRIKE BACK

Your article this morning was very upsetting and so unfair to all of the loyal heat fans.

I for one have not missed a game.  Win or lose.  Do I go to the Arena?  No.  Do I have a beautiful T.V. and a nice comfortable chair to watch it?  Yes. 

Why you wanted to put ice water on such a great day for Miami I don't know.

I do hope that none of our wonderful team read your article because it is not true.

I get the paper at the door and the first place I look is the sports page.  I have so many friends and office mates that are also Heat fanatics....win....lose....or draw...

Over 500 of us at a prayer service at the end of last season said a prayer for Alonzo's continued health.

I think you owe your town an apology....

A loyal Heat Fan
Loretta deVries

I totally agree with Mrs. Loretta De Vries why would any one especially a sports writer say something like this unless you want to stir up controversy and get a little name “name recognition” and some face time

I have been a growing Heat fan for the last three years !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go to another city

Scott Sichak

Comments

[pogo]

Dave, as a Sports Writer, you should have known better.

[Betsi]

FIRST to say Dave does not need any more name recognition.

[Betsi]

OK so maybe not. But still, people. Good grief, my psychology textbook quoted you, Dave.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Poor Dave. Comedy and the Sports Section don't seem to make a good combination. So how's Mrs. Blog with this? Is she ready to whack your cosita?

[Tamara Rhymes With Camera]

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Lush]

Hey! How 'bout them Browns?!

[Schadeboy]

Apparently, Dave, when you counted how many people were in the stadium with Judi, these two were in the bathroom.

[sharon share-alike]

Dave, I think you need to invent an entire new discipline called "Humor Therapy" for people who are "humorally challenged". You could have different regimens for borderline cases (mild doses of gentle humor) to massive, emergency doses of clutch-your-sides-laugh-'til-you-pee humor for the obvious nearly-hopeless cases.

Sheesh.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Dave, you are welcome in SoCal any time. I'll even bake cookies. And there's already plenty of comedy in our Sports section.

[Susy]

Uuch! guess they shouldn't have put that on the "serious" Sports page!

[Susy]

Ouch even

[Tamara Rhymes With Camera]

Hold the phone! When did "squirting" get changed to "groping"? Gaaawd, we never get to have any fun!

[Addicted to 24]

Dave,
How dare you point out that in 2003 the Marlins were packing them in and now when I see the highlights on Sportscenter Only Judi is in the stands. You should of pointed out that all the other seats were filled with invisible mute people.

[TCK]

Dave - i think you found two of the eight guys that call sports talk radio

[Musically Challenged]

Dave. Stick to humor not sports. I would have slapped you into Saturday....maybe Sunday.

[Annie Where-but-here]

"Dear Nutso Heat Fan,
Due to the insidious nature of your letter to Mr. Barry, the state of Florida hereby remands that you attend comedy sensitivity training. Please report to class with a notebook, pen, and rubber chicken."

[Matt]

Wow. A growing heat fan for THREE YEARS. Oh the agony of going to a winning teams games for such a long time before winning a championship. How they must have suffered. In honor of the agony and loyalty shown, I would like to present Scott with the first annual "Mark Cuban Whiners Award", to be displayed proudly next to his McDonalds Drive through cash register.

[Cindy]

Your picture was nice.

[AlaskaMe]

Actually I think one of them was a woman, unless the first was a guy named Loretta - of course that could be the problem.

[Annie Where-but-here]

"Why you wanted to put ice water on such a great day for Miami I don't know."
-isn't the term 'rain on our parade'? Most days in Miami, ice water is a GOOD cosita.

[southerngirl]

I thought it was a great story, Dave.

and I'm not just sayin' that cuz I don't live in Miami.

in fact, you're more than welcome to point out that NO Saints fans have been known to go to ball games wearin' paper bags on their heads and referring to their team as the "Ain'ts."

and I would still think it's funny. :)

[hayleen]

Can't anyone take a JOKE anymore!!!!

[sharon share-alike]

Hmmmm...if that guy's been growing for three years, I'm-a thinkin' that he might take up two or three seats in the stands by this point...

[Annie Where-but-here]

AlaskaMe - that's his stage name. I saw him at the Cher convention. Er, I mean, my friend saw him/her.

[southerngirl]

hey Annie, was it good for you? ;)

[Dave]

hayleen -- I ask myself that often.

[Annie Where-but-here]

sharon - then maybe he's BOTH guys that call in to sportsradio talkshows.

[southerngirl]

twice?

[Addicted to 24]

Now people in Scott's defense before he was heat fan he was a Lakers, Bulls, Pistons, Celtics, Who ever was winning fan.

[Brainy Jello]

I thought the ice water is supposed to get poured on the coach.

Congrats, Dave - you managed to piss off people in both cities. And by "people" I mean "those who can't remember that it's only a game."

[Annie Where-but-here]

s'girl - whoa...I'm dizzy.

[southerngirl]

and a simul with Dave!

be still my heart, and somebody pass me a cigarette.

[Cheryl]

Boy ... talk about PRICKLY heat!

I read your column again, and I still don't even know what they're (not there) bitchin' about.

But, as I think I've said before, my boyfriend is a sportscaster ... and sports fans can be, well, ummmmmm, what's the word ...

oh, ask Mrs. Blog. She knows it.

[Annie Where-but-here]

I need some of Dave's ice water.

[Ashley in NYC]

SouthernGirl - having grown in Phoenix, I feel you on the horrendous football team. Dave, any time you'd like to make fun of the Cards, have at it! As a side note, did it ever occur to these people that if your column is offending them, they could 1) stop reading it, or 2) throw it away? Rubber chickens, indeed!

[sharon share-alike]

*dumps ice water on Annie-wbh for her dizzies*

See?? It's a friendly gesture!

[sharon share-alike]

*winks @ Annie*

Non-humorally challenged minds, annie....!

[CoastRaven]

Miami just wanted to prove that Dallas couldnt beat them at being thin skinned either. Sheesh - Dave... you have my permission to write about any Bawlmer team you would like... DAMN they practically write their own humor section.

[Susy]

I suggest a "prayer service" for Dave's continued health...never know what these nut jobs can do.

[Nora]

So Judi, I'll be at the Marlins game July 1st. Should we wear common T-shirts and look for each other? Nora

[fateklynn]

Wow, that's what I love about die-hard sports fans, They take everything personally.

I just read this great quote; "mocking someone is usually the first step towards trying to relate to them."

So mock away, Dave! It's all in the interest of creating understanding of difference, so getting upset about it only shows one's ignorance!

[ScottMGS]

It's interesting to note that right under Dave's well-known visage is one of the words that is indelibly inked linked with Dave: Humor.

I'm with Annie. Our sports need a little more humor out here in So. Cal. All we have right now is stadium debacles and team blackmail. Also, we have some excellent beer here in San Diego.

[SquirlCat41]

Allow me to jump on the bandwagon and join in the chorus of people saying, can’t you all out there take a joke?

[Annie Where-but-here]

Maybe his columns should carry a warning label. Something like "Humor." Oh, looky there - it already does.

[Straw]

If they are this bitter when their team wins, I'd hate to see what their reaction is when they lose.

[Schadeboy]

Last time I checked, dumping liquids on the coach was actually a method of celebrating. So by putting "ice water on such a great day" is not a bad thing, here. I don't get it. What's to complain about?

[Annie Where-but-here]

whoops - Scott, simul-thought almost. Must be the ice-water.

[fivver]

Wow, I'm still coming to grips with the idea that all one has to do to be a loyal supporter is to sit on their a$$ and watch tv. That's TOTAL commitment!

[Annie Where-but-here]

Dave, when you got non-fan letters like this prior the birth of the blog, how did you deal with them? Besides beer and a shredder?

[Annie Where-but-here]

fivver, um, at this moment, many of us are sitting on our a$$e$ watching the blog....cough...are we committed? Or should we be? (No need for an answer.)

[Addicted to 24]

You know what would make an awesome addtion to the blog. Hate letter of the week it could have it's own sub category (i.e. productivity enhancers or 24) and we could all have a blast commenting.

[Somewhere North]

I think the fact that she was at a prayer meeting for a sports player pretty much sums it up. Of course, now that we know this, there are just loads of jokes waiting to be told....

[southerngirl]

Ashley, once years ago (before the Bears' infamous "super bowl shuffle") I heard a guy on the radio say that till he moved to New Orleans, he thought there was no worse team than Chicago.

the saints have gotten everybody beat.

well, not literally. ;)

[Susy]

fivver, make that sit on their A$$ and "grow"

[Wendi with an "i"]

I agree with Annie - us REAL fans of this blog need to go to Miami and watch the exciting blogging action in person. Judi, how much are tickets?

[Annie Where-but-here]

Wendi - I said that? Really?
*pours more ice water on head*

[sthnbelle]

Wow, I guess the warm weather in Miami has some people rather thin-skinned. Currently living in a city where the sports teams can't finish ANYTHING (Philly), I have to admit that folks around here are rather "Band-wagonish" as soon as any of our teams start to win, but 3 weeks later, no one is mentioning anything about whichever team it was that just CHOKED. (No, I'm not bitter)

I must restate the many comments above to the letter writers: "Dave is a HUMOR writer - get a clue!", and second Addicted's suggestion for a Hate Letter of the Week submitted for blogish ridicule.

[judi]

snork @ addicted, further up there^^^^.

nora, chica, send me your section :)

[Addicted to 24]

Great idea Annie instead of Dead Heads we will be Dave Heads.

[Somewhere North]

Our Father who art Mark Cuban, hollow be thy promises... Guard us against Dave Barry and his taunts and threats and bless us with another win or at least a chance at the playoffs.

No, I don't promise to go to church regularly and not fornicate and let up on the recreational drugs. This is not a two way street, I'm just expecting results here.

[beaniehampton]

Can you imagine what the offspring would look like if these fans from Miami got together with the fans from Dallas? Their might look like ... "see no humor, hear no humor, say no humor" (with a dazed and confused Dave reporting the sports.)

[puppytoes]

you'd better hope Loertta De Vries doesn't get her prayer group worked up over this, or you are *so* screwed.

[Addicted to 24]

On a somewhat related note did you guys hear that Mark Cuban is considering buying this team. Do I hear rematch of the 2003 NLCS?

[24-aholic]

Judi, did you put these 2 maroons up to their shenanigans since Dave outed you as the last of the true fans?

[Addicted to 24]

Sorry my last link didnt work
Take 2
Do I hear a rematch of the 2003 NLCS?

[Annie Where-but-here]

Addicted - might be a good thing - Cuban couldn't make that catch - his hair would get in the way.

[pogo]

Pronouncement upon what Dave and Haleen and others said: It seems to me there are a lot more folks lookin' for something to be offended about than there are folks lookin' to see the humor in things.

[BaronCoop]

Yeah Dave! Go to another city! Like Atlanta perhaps? Hey, if Miami doesn't appreciate you, then we will, and everyone knows our sports fans suck too! (Also, I will throw in a complimentary pillow mint every night for ....... lemme see .... 14 nights, unless the dollar store has another sale.)

[Eleanor]

To paraphrase Gloria Steinham,

Dave Barry needs more name recognition like a fish needs a bicycle.

[SquirlCat41]

Baron - The DOLLAR store is too expensive for you, so you have to wait for a sale?

[Suzy Q]

Yeah, Dave, how cud u rob us preshus Haet fans from the ...uh...uh...what they sayed up theres!

[24-aholic]

El - not just name recognition, but name "name recognition" and some face time.

Scott is not messing around with his Dave hate mail!

[blurkernomore]

I don't know if I can come to this blog anymore. I don't appreciate being lied to. I was clearly told Dave is a humor writer and now I find out that's not true. And to think I laughed at his articles. Sports writer! I feel betrayed.

[KDF]

That is just like Dave, isn't it, going after that name recognition and face time.

Sports writer! Typical.

*attempts to keep a straight face; can't*

Dave, since you are being drummed out of Miami, please consider this an open invitation to infiltrate my city and tick off its inhabitants. We'd love to have you. Besides, sports fans in Boston are very laid back.

[Abby Normal]

I live in St. Louis, Misery, which is like loyal sports fan central. Everyone here hates bandwagon jumpers; but I say, what the hell? Why not? What if the jumper hangs on to that team? Is there a problem here? I've betrayed all of my sports teams by claiming second teams (in hopes that one of my teams wil make it to the finals): (MLB)Cardinals/Yankees (I've been yelled at by fans at a Cardinal's game for that one), (NFL) Rams/Patriots, (NHL) Blues/Oilers. See??? It's all good!

[KDF]

*hugs Blurker*

It's okay, Blurk. Let it out.

[Addicted to 24]

Well Blurk this is what happens when you marry someone who can explain to you what the Infield Fly rule is and why it makes sense.

[PeaceEtc]

Ms. DeVries says she and others are Heat fanatics "win....lose....or draw..." Out of idle curiousity, when has a basketball game ever ended in a draw? Are we sure she actually knows what sport the Heat play?

[blurkernomore]

Thanks, KDF. I'll hang around a little longer, but I'm clearly scarred.

[pogo]

PeaceE - I basketball game can only end in a draw in the event of a rain out.

[pogo]

I A

[SteveB]

Wow. A fan for a whole three years.

Listen up Scotty-Boy. I'm from Massachusetts. Don't go giving me any of your "Three Years" crap. Until you sit through 4 decades with the likes of the Red Sox, building you up like a $10.00 prostitue only to leave you standing in the street holding a limp pennant in October, you don't know what it's like to be a fan.

Get a sense of humor.

[Addicted to 24]

Amen SteveB

[blurkernomore]

Um...SteveB...I'm a male type guy and I'll admit that my standards are directly proportional to the number of shots I've done, but a $10.00 prostitute? Couldn't ya swing for $20.00?

[Glix]

Arrrggghhh! Letter writers! Learn to use punctuation! Quit making us Texans look bad!!!

Oh, wait. Not a Texan? Carry on.

(You have to admit there are similarities between this and the other letters)

[Brad]

I have an idea. Let's launch an intimmidation campaign against one of these fools. For example, I googled Scott Sichak and found a few interesting things:

(1) He has written meaningless letters to editors before.

(2) His confidence level is way up after using an Internet product (search for "Scott Sichak" on that page).

(3) His parents didn't even love him enough to give him their own sperm and eggs! The Proof is here.

[blurkernomore]

Not only that, Brad, but his adoptive parents didn't even let him have their last name. (notice the last names of the birth parents)

[crossgirl]

can't help but notice that the panther and marlin fans aren't complaining. oh yeah, they're too busy basking in the heat's glory.

[Dave]

Brad and blurkernomore -- I appreciate the thought, but let's leave people's personal lives out of this, OK? Thanks.

[blurkernomore]

You're right, Dave. After further thought...classless.

[Angie-guilty of sports fury]

Sounds like Dave's learned a very important life lesson:

Sports fans CANNOT take a joke.

In fact, I was slightly surprised a humor columnist and a sports writer were ever able to marry. I would have thought spontaneous combustion would have soon followed.

[Angie-guilty of sports fury]

Not that I'm not able to laugh at other overly serious sports fans, mind you. Just not myself. :D

[Brad]

I agree with blurkernomore... totally classless.

[Matt]

If you want another article that riled up the locals, look at
this. And the local response href="http://www.charlotte.com/mld/charlotte/sports/hockey/14873844.htm">
here. I'm pretty sure he was trying to be funny but the joke bombed.

[CoastRaven]

Daves last post reminded me of Kip Addotta...

"So I pulled into a Shell station - They said I had blown a seal.
I said
'Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it OK pal?'"

[Matt]

Oops.
Here. And if you have to register, don't bother. Its not that good.

[sthnbelle]

I don't know, Matt - some of those responses to Tom's column rank right up there in the "high entertainment" category.

I believe the saying goes "*#$* 'em if they can't take a joke"

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

hayleen-Good question.

[Jacki]

*snork* at SteveB and his limp pennant. That's the best one sentence short story I've read in a long time!

[Addicted to 24]

I have been waiting all day to do this
100th
Now I will go back to waiting for 4:30.