LEGAL MIND OF THE WEEK SO FAR

(Thanks to Chaz Schlueter)

Comments

[muffles]

What if he was just being honest?

[Brainy Jello]

The trick to avoid being chosen? Tell them you're a college graduate. Lawyers hate trying to fast-talk smart people.

[blurkernomore]

Brainy I ain't no kollige gragit and I got plunty of smarts.

[Brainy Jello]

I didn't say you had to BE one.

[packsaddle]

judge lynch?

[clark kent]

All he had to say was "So, when do we get to fry this bastard?" and odds are the defense would have eliminated him....

If that doesn't work, just keep talking to your giant rabbit friend.

[Matt]

Did anyone see the Becker where he got jury duty and was dismissed whenever he mentioned reading a book?

And they have some odd rules in juries about outside evidence. On a jury about a car wreck, we were asked to assign a value and were not allowed to look at a blue book.

All this guy had to say was he didn't believe in the death penalty and he would have been excused anyway.

[eat_black_licorice]

"All he had to do was say he didn't believe in the death penalty..."
So he could have left out the part about killing a guy, and he would have been just fine.
I wonder if confessing that you are jonesing for Girl Scout cookies can get you dismissed.

[Hanna]

My late husband got a mailed order to report to court as a juror. His excuse was hard to argue with, he had been dead for two years.

[Annie Where-but-here]

When I moved to California, I got called for Grand Jury duty...in New York. They pay mileage, you know.

[Hanna]

Annie, that would be some mileage fee. Maybe have a psychic in court to report his decision?

[Rocket]

My father was being interviewed for a jury in (now famous) Santa Maria, CA, and they asked him if he knew anyone else already selected. He said, Well, that guy over there was my son-in-law for about 7 years - Hi Dan! He got picked and he and my ex-brother-in-law went to lunch together while they were on the jury.

[Jeff Meyerson]

I'm waiting to get a certain FCDA's take on this before I can possibly comment.

El?

[insomniac]

i saw a man excused for doing a crossword puzzle during the voir dire (i love Law &Order) when judge asked him if he thought he shouldn't be paying attention, juror-to-be said "oh, that's o.k, i can do both"

oh, i was selected for the same jury while in grad school, large parts of my thesis were written in the jury room...

[Guin]

I always thought that saying you believe all judges are corrupt and the American justice system is a farce would get you excused pretty quickly.

[Glix]

My husband's uncle swears by carrying a copy of The Shooter's Bible into jury selection.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Guin, not anymore - they're used to hearing things like that. Now it just irritates them. It's all about respect. You can tell a judge he's stupid, but you have to do it in such a way that he'll thank you for your time.

El would tell you this, but she's with her parole officer right now.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Guin: what Annie said. My wife told them she thought all lawsuits were frivilous and phony and she didn't trust any of them and they told her they liked her honesty!

[Guin]

LOL @ Jeff and Annie...will need to come up with an alternate strategy - perhaps carry a copy of the Koran and wear a tshirt that says "Death to Infidels"?

[Brad]

"You do not make a mockery of the process."

Not unless your name is Benjamin Ratliffe. Go Ben!!!

[MoFaux]

The process will make a mockery of itself.

[Kat]

What is a "jonesin?"

[marfie]

I've been told that if you state that you believe "that only God can truly pass judgment on us all" that they will be verrrry happy to excuse you. Never had to put it to test yet, knock on wood.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Kat - 'jonesing' is when you're craving something really badly, like, "I'm jonesin' to have a cigarette." Almost in withdrawal from not having one.

[EB]

That puts that excuse to rest for me. Can't pretend to be a Heroin addict whilst one runs a Detox Unit!

However, I'd be likely to have personal acquintance with the Criminal being tried, the EB. That is much easier....

[Layzeeboy]

Ah, there ya go, Annie, educatin' the yutes of America. (Maybe they should have put a geezer warning before that quote).

[Judge Chamberlain Haller]

Did you say "yutes"?

[Pitty Pat]

Saying you're psychic and you know who's guilty usually does it, too. Especially if you dress kinda bohemian and bring tarot cards with you.

[Kat]

I thought all of the "Geezers" were from No. Dak.

[Guin]

Being a geezer from Massachusetts, I resemble Kat's remark.

[Kat]

Are there any more Yankee Geezers out there? Speak now or forever hold your piece! (er Peace)

[muffles]

Utes?