HEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR

Comments

[CoastRaven]

And I thought Kansas always got the short shaft in stories like these.

[Suzy Q]

All hail the penis!

[fudtheman]

Nice post judi...

wait, what?

[Militant Grammarian]

What about his @$$? Could they find that with both hands?

[fudtheman]

...I know this one is getting old, but did they transport it in this?

[fudtheman]

I'm sure these guys would be more than happy to help.

[pepe]

Must've been hard accepting the award with a straight face.

[fudtheman]

...or straight anything for that matter

[Cheryl]

Jeez ... I've done THAT before ... and I've never got me no award.

*sulk*

[Cheryl]

Oh ... you say it was DETACHED ...

oh, well then ...

[Straw]

OMG, my parents live in KC. *goes to call dad, just in case*

[Suzy Q]

Not to worry Straw. You've already been born, right?

[Algae]

This story reminds me of the Dukes of Hazzard tv show... the only show that had a Penis with no Pee... Enis... and another feller named Cooter.

[Punkin Poo]

Offc. 1: "Look! A detached penis! I am SO honored to have found this!"

Offc. 2: "Ah, Bob, that's really great...but could you stop petting it like that?"

[fivver]

"Here's your award for rescuing the penis from the garbage. No, I'm not going to shake your hand."

[Susy]

wait a sec?? is this how he tried to kill himself????

a bit extreme don't ya think????

[fudtheman]

haiku:

I'm an idiot
Tried to commit suicide
Slipped and hit my c**k

[24-aholic]

I'm thinking if I were the one to see the penis in the trash, I'd just start whistling and slowly walk away "nope, nuthin' over here". A man who voluntarily cuts off his wanker does not deserve it! Plus, it really reduces his ability to procreate!

[Meanie the Blue]

Head line of the day, indeed.

[angstly yours]

Long, hard *SNORK* to Punkin'. As a former police officer, I think I would have to respectfully
dickline this honor.

[Brad]

Fishing a suicidal man’s dismembered penis out of his kitchen trash. It was successfully reattached.

It's a good thing that the officers had penis bait and a penis license. In fact, all officers in KC now have a complete penis fishing kit, including a carbon fiber rod, several hook sizes, and pliers to remove the hook from the penis once it is safely in the net.

[queensbee]

'scuse me sir, uh, this yours?

[blurkernomore]

As a current policeman, I can honestly tell everyone on this here blog that there is absolutely no way in hell I'll ever be receiving an award for that.

[angstly yours]

I knew I liked you Blurk.

[Anony Mouse]

Some of the KC comments are great!

Glad the police found his parts. Otherwise, they may have been charged with a missed-a-weiner.

*snork*

[Annie Where-but-here]

After an injury like that, what is rehab like?

[blurkernomore]

Annie, I don't know about rehab but I'd hate to see the support group meeting.

[Laura]

Sigh.
So I watch the news and read the papers, and KC is constantly featured in the national spotlight only for some redneck in a wife beater doing something fantastically stupid. And every time I say "Why can't we ever be featured for doing something GOOD?"

THIS is a study in "be careful what you wish for."

[Shane's Girl]

Ouch! Anony Mouse, that was sooooo wrong.

[Annie Where-but-here]

blurker - tee hee!

[CJrun]

Also, my favorite from the comments:

"The watch commanders generally know which officers are better at finding penis than others. Some men just have a knack for finding penis and I'm sure that these were the guys assigned to this job....Its reaaly no different than assigning the best at locating whores to the prostitution stings. The truth is that some guys will leap at the opportunity to "find" penis."

[Layzeeboy]

To any fellow Catholic geezer bloglits: "St. Anthony please come around..."

For the rest of you: "...there's something lost that must be found."

[Annie Where-but-here]

CJrun - are you talking about the K9 unit?
"The good news is, we found it. The bad news is, Rex thought it was a Scooby Snack."

[Beth]

I loved the last line "Three homicide detectives were also honored" Like, our PD doesn't just find penises, sometimes we even catch murderers.

[Kat]

And there was the story from Lawrence, Ks several years ago that appeared in the daily news rag: Two gay men lovers were fighting when one bit the other's ear off. When the police woman came after a call to 911 was made, she went into the kitchen to search for the ear so that the doctors could reconnect at the hospital. When she stepped into the kitchen, she found the small pet poodle eating the ear. This is my "parts" story for the week, Dave.

[WriterDude]

"Why can't we ever be featured for doing something GOOD?"

Laura, for what it's worth, that happens in my backyard here in Brighton (not Boulder) Colorado pretty regularly. Every time I barbecue (insert meat [har!] of choice here) using my very own Gates-inspired sauce and rub, after the applause dies down I credit the folks I learned from in Mizzourah. No way I could do it without the sentence time I served lived east of K.C.

Okay, so that doesn't get national news. But it might get me a cooking show on the local cable access one day...

[AlanBoss]

At least they didn't find it in a kabob grinder.