FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE UPDATE
Whoa. They're getting strict.
(Thanks to Michael M. Ester)
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June 21, 2006
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If I am first, let's hear it for the DMV!
Posted by: Kathybear | June 21, 2006 at 01:53 PM
Maybe she was trying for a boating AND a driver's licence at the same time. Just a thought.
Posted by: Mikey | June 21, 2006 at 01:55 PM
Whew. At least is was a borrowed car.
Posted by: fivver | June 21, 2006 at 01:55 PM
They COULD have given her the boating license though
Posted by: Susy | June 21, 2006 at 02:00 PM
She would have gotten the drivers license except her turn signal wasn't on the whole time.
Posted by: fivver | June 21, 2006 at 02:01 PM
While she's at it, if she's gonna go canal cruisin', maybe she should also apply for a gator hunting license.
"took her to the testing agency agency..." - is this what they mean when they say "testing, one, two...?"
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | June 21, 2006 at 02:05 PM
At least this article didn't end in the usual Flridian way with ..."and her arm was torn off by a 12 foot gator."
Posted by: Punkin Poo | June 21, 2006 at 02:06 PM
Now she is ready to apply for her geriatric driver's license.
Posted by: MOTW | June 21, 2006 at 02:07 PM
OR the FLORIDIAN way - which is much much worse.
*blush*
Posted by: Punkin Poo | June 21, 2006 at 02:07 PM
No worries Punkin, the doctors would have likely reattached the arm, and then amputated a leg... Just because.
Posted by: DDi | June 21, 2006 at 02:10 PM
Punkin - I just thought you were spellin it the way they say it
Posted by: CoastRaven | June 21, 2006 at 02:12 PM
Maybe she was going to save Jack in her yellow submarine
Posted by: 24-aholic | June 21, 2006 at 02:13 PM
Hey, I hit two pedestrians during my test, and they let me pass! I guess they've toughened up since 1976.
Posted by: Suzy Q | June 21, 2006 at 02:18 PM
she was overheard yelling "via con dios...."
Posted by: Chaz, in Wade County Florida | June 21, 2006 at 02:19 PM
Notice all the references to the word "she".
*slinks off to the dog house*
Posted by: blurkernomore | June 21, 2006 at 02:20 PM
I think she flunked for two reasons:
1) She's 19 and therefore obviously decades too young to drive in Florida.
2) She ran the car into the wrong canal.
Posted by: KCSteve | June 21, 2006 at 02:22 PM
This gal's a natural for New York City taxi driving. That she's already wrecked one cab is only proof of her talent.
Posted by: Lairbo | June 21, 2006 at 02:28 PM
do they still have to parallel park?? maybe that was it. parallel park in a different substance.
Posted by: queensbee | June 21, 2006 at 02:28 PM
Maybe she thought it was a water park.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | June 21, 2006 at 02:55 PM
She should KNOW that you can't drive under water. You TOTALLY lose cell phone reception in there.
Posted by: Cheryl | June 21, 2006 at 03:00 PM
Cheryl - maybe she got one of Jack's cell phones and was testing the range. You know he would get reception at the bottom of a canal!
Posted by: 24-aholic | June 21, 2006 at 03:02 PM
It always comes back to Jack, doesn't it ... :-)
Conspiracy, I tell you.
Posted by: Cheryl | June 21, 2006 at 03:03 PM
I love Jack. We have quite a romance going
...in my head
Posted by: 24-aholic | June 21, 2006 at 03:04 PM
Maybe it was a "yellow-tail" cab.
*sorry, hee, hee*
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | June 21, 2006 at 03:15 PM
Oh, Lisa.....I'm going to have your comedic license revoked for that one.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | June 21, 2006 at 03:17 PM
:-)
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | June 21, 2006 at 03:39 PM
OK, so that's once in 80 bajillion times the DMV has used some common sense to keep an idiot from getting a license to drive ... NOTE: I did NOT say, "keeping them from driving" ... if she's as dense as it seems, she won't bother goin' back to try another time ... ever ... she'll just drive ... prolly into another canal ...
Posted by: O. the U(manity) | June 21, 2006 at 03:57 PM
In the teenager's defense she had been practicing for the test in this car.
Posted by: Addicted to 24 | June 21, 2006 at 03:58 PM
Was it a borrowed car, a borrrowed car, or a Broward car?
Posted by: | June 21, 2006 at 04:00 PM
she was looking for the lonmg lost cuba-florida highway
Posted by: Chaz, in Wade County Florida | June 21, 2006 at 04:16 PM
Just before she hit the bushes the neighbor heard her yelling, "RAMMING SPEED!!!"
/end Animal House quote
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | June 21, 2006 at 04:21 PM
Gosh, all this time I thought 24-aholic was a guy.
Er, maybe so? NTTAWWT.
*slinks to the doghouse to join blurk*
Posted by: angstly yours | June 21, 2006 at 04:25 PM
She failed because the cab was only HALF submerged. In order to get a license, you must be FULLY submerged, and blocking a major shipping lane.
Posted by: Betsy | June 21, 2006 at 05:18 PM
underwater *SCBBBNNNOOBBBRRKKK* to Betsy
0
o 0
o o
o
Posted by: Punkin Poo | June 21, 2006 at 05:26 PM
She can't be that dense. She convinced a cabbie to let her borrow his cab....to practice driving. Hopefully he left the meter running.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | June 21, 2006 at 06:46 PM
When I hear that somebody's driven into a canal, I always wonder, "What were they thinking? Were they thinking? Was there a mental process happening?" or were they simply *not present*. If they weren't present, where could they have been? It's one of life's mysteries.
Posted by: daisymae | June 21, 2006 at 07:33 PM
I always wondered why the legendary Van Halen song about a car was called "Panama". Never could get the connection between cars and canals. This young lady may have unlocked one of classic rock's great mysteries...
That, or Diamond David Lee Roth and I were doing very different substances in 1984:
Jump back, what's that sound?
Here she comes, full blast and top down
Hot shoe, burnin' down the avenue
Model citizen, zero discipline
Don't ya know she's coming home with me
You'll lose her in that turn
I'll get her!
Panama, Panama
Panama, Panama
Ain't nothin' like it, her shiny machine
Got the feel for the wheel, keep the movin' parts clean
Hot shoe, burnin' down the avenue
Got an on-ramp comin' through my bedroom
Don't you know she's coming home with me
You'll lose her in that turn
I'll get her
Uh-oh!
Panama, Panama. Wow!
Panama, Panama oh-oh-oh-oh
Woo!
(Guitar Solo)
Yeah, we're runnin' a little bit hot tonight
I can barely see the road from the heat comin' off
You know what I'm sayin'
Ahh, I reach down between my legs n' ease the seat back
She's runnin', I'm flyin'
Right behind in the rearview mirror now
Got the fearin', power steerin'
Pistons poppin', ain't no stoppin' now
Panama, Panama
Panama, Panama oh-oh-oh-oh
Panama, Panama oh-oh-oh-oh
Panama!
On second thought, maybe this young lady inspired... naw, she's only 19.
Alright, Dave (Roth), just what the hell were you singing about?
(Trying to find meaning in David Lee Roth's lyrics is like trying to find depth in a Koy pond...)
Posted by: WriterDude | June 22, 2006 at 03:39 AM
"Needless to say, she did not pass the driver's license test," King added.
In Florida, I think there's no such thing as "needless to say".. At least if Dave, Fark and Drudge are any guide..
Posted by: otis wildflower | June 22, 2006 at 12:21 PM
"Like you know, I was trying to drive and like my cellphone goes off. At the same time my thongie went up the wrong place and like, splash!"
Posted by: catman | June 22, 2006 at 02:23 PM