CULTURAL DIFFERENCES

They abound.

(Thanks to DavCat14)

Comments

[Mrs. DDi Sparkly]

*pictures various unidentified moaties in scuba gear*
*pictures them without*
*drools*

[Mrs. DDi Sparkly]

Helllllloooooooooooo???

Where is everyone?

*sniffle*
*sobs*

[kibby F5]

Kibby's here! ...kinda

[trillian]

So, I had an office mate. nice enough guy, kept to himself, talked kinda loud when on the phone, but all in all, a good office mate. They are having him switch places with another of my coworkers. This other guy talks/mumbles to himself constantly, is always asking the stupidest questions, and is generally a pain in the ass. Why the switch is happening, I don't know, but it's gonna suck. At least I have an opportunity to assume radio/music dominance. Hope he likes TOOL!

[Mrs. DDi Sparkly]

Trillian, I say you steal his stapler. And if he gets another'un, steal it too.

[Eleanor]

Yes. What Di said. As we at the KibEl Detective Agency know, a stapler is the most essential of office items. :)

[Jeff Meyerson]

Is his name Milton?

[neophyte]

Excuse me, Jeff? And just what are you implying about Miltons?! *gives Jeff the Eyebrow of Doom*

[kibby F5]

*looks up from stapling his shirt sleeves to the desk mat*

HUH?

[Trillian]

Milton Waddams: [talking on the phone] And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire...

[Leetie]

The ratio of people to cake is too big.

[Jeff Meyerson]

*sends neo extra stapler by inter-office mail*

[Jeff Meyerson]

Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays.

[kibby F5]

IT WORKS! IT'S ALL WORKING!!!!!

AAHH HAHAHAHAHAHA!

*runs madly from the room*

[Jeff Meyerson]

Whereas Kibby...uh, never mind.

*backs away slowly*

[jamester]

Why, I'm fine, thanks. A little full of breadcrumbs, for the moment.

When did this turn into 'Stapler Sessions'?
How is everyone?

[Mrs. DDi Sparkly]

Jamester, when you were eating crumbs?

*jumps up and down*

What do I win!? What do I win!?!

[Eleanor]

Chocolate covered crumbs, Di. ;)

Hi jamester, how goes it?

[insomniac]

milton? has someone lost a pair o' dice?

[jamester]

It goes well, overall. Lots of little upper resp virii making the rounds of the family, and I've got to figure out how to approach my son's baseball coach about getting him more infield time, and maybe out of the tail end of the batting order, and the dau is turning 11 in a week.
The cat's cancer surgery was successful, and the dog hasn't dug a new hole in the back yard in a whole week.
Our bonus was pitiable this year...
/end stream of consciousness report
How have you been, El?
Mrs. DDi, I'm full from following the breadcrumbs from the last MOAT I had been following to my final arrival here. Glad to see my favorite people are still around.

[kibby F5]

JAMESTER!

*looks around for place to hide the stapler*

[Eleanor]

There are not too many things I like better than a good run on sentence. Good job. :)

I'm good, been hanging out on the message board quite a bit. Do you ever go there?

There's a lot of that sickness going on here too, and it takes a long time to recover. I had it a few weeks ago and I still can't breathe for the first hour in the morning when I wake up. Sort of a problem when you have to close your mouth to swallow your coffee. ;)

[Kaffy In Disguise (With Glasses)]

Argh. Belatedly, I'm here. I keep meaning to czech in then forgetting.

*snork* at Insom, naturally.

Leetie, you should have been at my parents' place for dinner last night. Two large cakes and a tray of cupcakes. I sampled a bit of everything. Mostly because it would be impolite not to.

To answer a question from the weekend I'm fine, thanks, Jeff. Busy busy busy, but happy. You can't ask for more than that. Well, really. I'd be happy if I won Lotto this weekend ($16m Powerball draw) but I'd still be happy even without that.

I think most of The Frighteners was filmed in Lyttelton (which is technically not Christchurch, but not really an independent town, either - it's where the main seaport is) It really is just beautiful over there.

Trillian, I hope that the new cubemate is not too problematic. Maybe you can turn him into a party guy. *grin*

[jamester]

Well, El, I wouldn't call it a good run-on sentence, but its the thought that counts, they always say, but then they also say it's also darkest just before the dawn and last night I think it was darkest at about 3:42am, don't you, but then I don't know what I'm thinking, you're looking at a different night sky than I am, but not too different, then, is it, since we're both in Southern California?

[slyeyes]

Peeing on a jellyfish sting does NOT help.

Just an FYI.

MEDIC!!!!

[trillian]

ah, bugger, thanks for the earworm, Jamester
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping
Underneath the same big sky

[jamester]

trillian, I'm not sure I'm all that responsible...sounds like an earworm that was just waiting to happen. Lovely song, anyway. Lately I've had Rod Goddamn Stewart singing "You Wear It Well" in my ear and I don't even like that song. Wish I'd never bought that album...
al'bum: def: a round vinyl thing that you used to put on record players and it would play music.
(The wheels on the bus go round and round...)

[trillian]

you spin me right 'round baby, like a record baby, right 'round, right 'round

[Jeff Meyerson]

(((sly)))

ouchie

[Susan]

Dare I mention that George Clooney and Renee Zellweger were in South Carolina today? In Greenville in fact.

Seems they were in a movie filmed in the state, that opens April 4.

Leatherheads.

[Eleanor]

yep, jamester, that we are. And I always heard that it was always darkest just before midnight, but that might be a pessimist's way of looking at things. ;)

And not only do I still have 'albums' but I also still have a turntable. Really.

[insomniac]

since it gets lighter before sunrise, the only way the saying makes sense to me is , "it's at its darkest just before it gets lighter" which is true but not very surprising! mathematically speaking, it is stating that the relative minimum in light is actually an absolute minimum... analogous to 'the ball you threw up in the air is at its highest just before it starts falling'?

oh, and i talked to mad and mike on the phone yesterday...wasn't able to meet up, though :(

[slyeyes]

FWIW, we were in St. John the other day and from the bay, saw Kenny Chesney's house and the beach where he and Renee were married.

The boat captain then pointed out the beach where they were annulled two months later.

*rimshot*

[Mr.Fisher]

so for those of yous who have, perhaps, pulled an all nighter, or say some other non-sense (such as, there for, hitherto, we US Americans, hunted small game) and had the distinct pleasure of being outdoors when it is in fact completely void of light, able only to hear but a few faint undistinguishable noises, but then slowly, gently, in it creeps, the smallest particles of light, of warmth, of breathe move slowly towards you, gently nudging nature awake, and then it hits you, you have absolutely nowhere safe to go poop now that everyone can see you.

Anyone?

[Jeff Meyerson]

Um, uh, what?

Something shiny!

[Eleanor]

Only in OK, Fish. Or in Beaver. ;)

[«LabSpecimen»]

Hey, Insom... not that I'm bragging or anything, but I got to meet Mike and Mad yesterday.

Neener!

[Eleanor]

Looks like bragging to me.....;)

[Mr.Fisher]

You summer sausaged them??! or was it more of a sirloin?

[Colleen]

Does a fish poop in the woods?

Do sly eyes pee on jellyfish?

I am indeed spinning right round.

I spent the last 3 weeks dying of some sort of hellvirus but then I got better.

THEN...I found 3 - THREE! - books on the remaindered table at the book store that I wanted. One was a Steven King (?!?!) and one was a Martha Grimes (?!?!?!?!?) WTF? The third was totally trash but in a totally good way.

THEN...the PO cancelled my full time term. I have to go back to waitressing.

=(

THEN...J witnessed a stabbing in a parking lot on her lunch hour one day this week.

=( =( =(

These things are not in balance on the karma scale. Still, I'm feeling pretty mellow about it all. They gave me some pretty good drugs when I was dying, before I got better.

[kibby F5]

Dare I mention that George Clooney and Renee Zellweger were in South Carolina today? In Greenville in fact.

Posted by: Susan | 09:41 PM on March 27, 2008

*sees Susan living on the edge*

Kibby was turned into a knutt.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Bummer, Colleen. Sorry J had to witness that and sorry you were sick and lost the gig.

Actually, I got sick shortly after getting home from Florida and I'm still having a tough time breathing through all the congestion. My ENT guy is on vacation so I can't even see the guy until later this week.

[kibby F5]

Kibby refuses to discuss his illnesses on the MOAT. Too RL and prone for others to ask why he's off his meds...

CRAP! Got a splinter!

[kibby F5]

TOE JAM!

[Susan]

*gets out tweezers for the splinter*

Perhaps you don't want me attacking the splinter now. I feel a little woozy from the fumes here...formica countertops being glued down...

{{{Colleen and J}}} You have been through a lot.

I'm just dealing with the pollen right now. It's the yellow time of year.

[Kaffy In Disguise (With Glasses)]

Colleen - you guys have had a sucky week and I'm sorry to hear it! {{many hugs to you}}

*pets the Kibby newt* Don't worry. You'll get better.

Fishy, is that anything like the guy who got knocked off the toilet when a truck crashed down a hill and into his house?

*disappears again*

[Kaffy In Disguise (With Glasses)]

Also - GEORGE CLOONEY?

*melts*

*really leaves this time*

[Jeff Meyerson]

It's 29 degrees outside! It's March 30!

That is all.

Oh, good morning.

*goes for more coffee*

[slyeyes]

Did I miss George Clooney?

[Meanie's Table]

Only in Kaf's imagination, sly. Are you home? Did you have a great time?

We were out walking and saw a Mercedes (™) 350X SUV with the NY license plate "KIBBBY".

Anything you want to tell us, Kibby?

[Jeff Meyerson]

Only in Kaf's imagination, sly. Are you home? Did you have a great time?

We were out walking and saw a Mercedes (™) 350X SUV with the NY license plate "KIBBBY".

Anything you want to tell us, Kibby?

[Jeff Meyerson]

Sorry - forgot to change that from the main blog.

[Kibby F5™]

*sees Jeff's found his missing Merc*

ALL HEINZED!

Answers to outstanding questions:

No, yes, ...., aaah, Plastic Pink Guard Flamingo's (think "guard dogs"), women's body parts ... and monkeys/parrots/penguins.

... that is all ...

[slyeyes]

FIrst Day Back to Work After Vacation.

SUCKS!!!

Opening Day.

GO CARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Looks like this could be a looooooooooooong year for the Cards, eh sly?

W threw out the first pitch at the Nationals' new stadium yesterday, got booed.

Reggie is throwing out the first ball today at the Stadium's last opening day (*sniff*).

It's cool and there will be some rain later.

[Kibby F5™]

*ducks a wild throw from St. Louis*

[neophyte]

*throws a wild duck from Boomschwacket, NY*

[Mr.Fisher]

*"ear" perks up* ..........somebody say Boom Schwackets?

[Eleanor]

*zips in*

Yes, they did. Wanna dance? :)

[Kibby F5™]

*picks up ear worm*

[neophyte]

Dang, that worm Kibby picked up is awfully contagious!!

The songs that are all simultaneously running through my head due to the last few comments:

Sh-Boom, sh-boom, ya-da-da da-da-da da-da-da da (from Life Could Be a Dream)
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-ay, (my oh my, what a wonderful day!)
Do You Wanna Dance and a hold my hand? Tell me I'm your lover man? Oh Baby, do you wanna dance? Do you, do you, do you, do you wanna dance?
and last but not least, from Singin' in the Rain, the chorus from Broadway rhythm Ballet that goes, "Gotta dance! Gotta dance! Gotta dance!"

There. That should have successfully rid me of all those earworms by inflicting them upon you all. You're welcome.

*ducks wildly and runs*

[Jeff Meyerson]

I can't believe they rained out the game. It was hardly even raining. Of course, The Bronx is on a different continent and may have been wetter, but it's basically stopped.

Oh well, that's show biz.

[jamester]

The Dodgers-Giants hook up in about 10 minutes. And I have to work...
Be warned, it's Dodgers all the way this year!

[Susan]

I spent a large part of the morning with "M-I-C see you real soon K-E-Y why? because we like you! M-O-U-S-E!!!!!"

FM goes on officially at noon Tuesday.

I may go insane before then.

I don't know who all is supposed to be here for all of that, but there is massive cleaning and rearranging going on.

I'm debating just running off, screaming.

[Mad Scientist Weasel]

Jamester-We have many tickets to Dodger games. Let me know if you and the kinder want to come along. Top deck seats are cheap!

Orioles are losing :-( to TB no less! Uggh it will be a long season!

Insomniac-Sorry we did not get to drive down the river to see you, but I promise next trip!

Lab- Was great to meet you and the Wench. Next time we pick a place with better decore and food. :-)

*smooches the whole moat!*

[Jeff Meyerson]

(((Mad)))

Zero point twelve - that's what we had, twelve hundredths of ONE inch of rain.

They're supposed to try again tomorrow night but the forecast says more rain so we'll see.

Looks like St. Louis is getting hammered now by lightning and stuff.

Be careful out there, sly!

[insomniac]

some week-old pictures of kylie...

the past weekend she was pretending to hide from "Swiper" who according to her, is a fox, takes things, and says 'oh, man'... it was a relief (?) that this is a character on 'dora the explorer'!

[Mad Scientist Weasel]

Weasel has a miniature stuffed swiper, but I never knew the characters name until now Insomniac! Thanks! But he looks more like a weasel than a fox!

[Kibby F5™]

"Can you repeat after me?"

"SWIPER! NO SWIPING! SWIPER! NO SWIPING!"

"... ah, MAAAANNN."

Nope, kibby's NEVER had to sit through ump-teen viewings of Dora. Not to mention playing with the Dora House where one gets introduced to some Spanish.

*goes off with new Dora ear worm*

[Kibby F5™]

Kibby's BEST April Fools Day story.

April 1, 1995, Gary Larson's daily calendar showed scientests in front of a window with clipboards observing people on the other side. The caption read, "Yes, we know they're idiots. Just what kind of idiots are they?"

We just converted a closet news booth to include a window into the 'control room' at the request of the Russian staff. The goal was to have this completed so the FIRST! live Russian broadcast from Prague could happen on April 1st. Hence, the parallel to the cartoon.

Additionally, the Latvian service was having their FIRST! live broadcast from Prague on the same day. They'd even invited their Ambassador.

WHO!? Picks these dates!?

We had to feed the audio through the Munich office because we didn't have the direct distribution system yet installed. We passed it on 4 circuits, 2 for Russian, 2 for Latvian. Some how Munich got the wires crossed and sent Latvian to Russia, and Russian to Latvia - for the first 30 minutes. When asked, the Munich technician said, "Yes, it's going." pointing to the needles jumping and patching a speaker in - hearing the voices. He had no idea of the differences between Russian and Latvian.

We never told the Latvian Ambassador...

For years afterwards the Operations Center Manager, on the daily Ops Report, made mention of the same cross-feed happening in the previous 24 hours. Then he'd issue a 'corrected' report.

On the positive side, the Russian News speaker was 30 seconds short - probably nerves - but without missing a beat, she went right into a "recap" of the major items and gracefully closed. A true professional.

[Eleanor]

*zips in*

I don't like April Fool's day because I never understand what is a prank and what isn't.
So kibby, is that story, which is pretty funny, true, or an April Fool's joke story?

[Mrs. DDi Sparkly]

*rubs eyes*

It's April? Then why is it snowing?

[Susan]

Kibby's story sounds all too likely. (Who, me? Working in broadcasting? Why, I've never ever had that kind of thing happen...)

The countdown is on...just over an hour til the official beginning of the FM.

Anyone have any valium?

[Eleanor]

Good luck, Susan. :)

[Kibby F5™]

It's an actual true story. Even tomorrow.

Gotta run. Crappy day at the office so Pivo's necessary.

[Kibby F5™]

*digs out Weird Al's "FM" dvd*

yep, kibby actually owns that one ... don't ask!

*looks for the Jane and Susan characters*

[insomniac]

i remember when everyone on f.m. radio sounded like they were on valium (nttawwt...)

[Susan]

Good grief what a day.

Of course this still doesn't seem real...

But I have a new car stereo! And it works!

[jamester]

Mad - an excellent plan, let's keep in touch. The kids are getting more interested in baseball now. Ryan only struck out looking both of his at-bats on Saturday. We've been discussing the philosophy of "guarding the plate" off and on all week...I think he just got too used to being walked by pitchers with poor control.
Meg passes her first certificate on piano yesterday.
Life is good.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Looks like the predictions of rain today were rather overstated so the Yankees should get tonight's game in after all.

[Mad Scientist Weasel]

Jamester congrats to both the kids. My softball coach always said swing at the first pitch no matter what it is. If the pitcher thinks you are going to swing they might lob more balls at you or some crazy idea he had. I was always too petrified to swing at all no matter what the pitch was. I enjoyed being in the outfield though.

[Jeff Meyerson]

Yankees 3, Blue Jays 2

[Crash]

I used to have UHF on VHS.

[Crash]

Ooh Ooh!

Teach him to bunt. That's ALL I ever did... pretty much.

[jamester]

I don't think they allow bunting until the second half of the season. He can't wait...If he doesn't get rained out, he'll play this afternoon, but I'll miss it, having to work and all that...
Dodgers 3, dog-assed Giants 2.

[kibby F5]

Come to think of it, Crash is right. It's UHF with Weird Al.

I must have been thinking of the song FM.

... no static at all.

[Susan]

When the original FM station here in town signed on in 1976, FM was the first song they played. I worked there the last 4 years they were on the air, including the last day, 20 years ago this week as it turns out. I had forgotten that...but the morning guy and I were going to do our last show on a Friday, April 1 in fact...and the day before we found out that nope, no one was going on that Friday, it would be permanently switched to the simulcast of another station Thursday night.

We of course played FM here yesterday.

[Crash]

FM was a movie.
I have the soundtrack.
On Vinyl.

OMG, I just had dinner with Remi Boucher (quite possibly the greatest classical guitar player alive on this planet) and his family.
At Applebees.

[Jeff Meyerson]

The Apocalypse is now.

What a world, what a world.

Oh, the humanity!

Anyway...good morning all. The doctor finally was back from vacation and I got two nasal sprays (obscenely expensive) and a steroid for my congestion problem (verdict: probably spring allergies), and only had to wait two hours to see him for five minutes.

[slyeyes]

Crash, were you with them, or at Applebees at the same time?

[Jeff Meyerson]

We had to go up to the Stadium this morning to exchange tickets as our first game was April 30, the day we're leaving for New Orleans.

Man, tickets are going fast! Already sold out are:

All weekend games except this weekend against Tampa Bay
All games in August and September
Many, many others.

We finally took May 7 vs. Cleveland. Looks like everyone wants to be there to say goodbye to the old Stadium.

The new one going up across the street looks great so far.

[Kibby F5™]

Just recieved e-mail from Parental Units.

If you receive an email entitled 'Bedtimes'
Delete it IMMEDIATELY.
Do not open it.

Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.

It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers.

This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING.
It will drink ALL your beer.
FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING!? ?

It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table
when you are expecting company.

It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the 'Bedtimes' message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in
dangerously close to a full bathtub.

It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

***WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ***

And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.

Send this warning to everyone!

THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD!

Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!!

And look at you - you're on the computer

[neophyte]

Wow, thanks for the warning, Kibby. That sounds bad.

And.... 17 million? Never have I felt such a strong desire to keep up with the Jones.

[Eleanor]

*zips in*

That's hilarious, kibby. ROFL!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Good one, Kibby. You'd be amazed - or maybe you wouldn't - at how many of those "real" things I get from people.

[Kibby F5™]

*is worried about the guy sitting next to him*

16,999,999,999 more to go, 16,999,999,999 more to go.
Meet one, ..... , 16,999,999,998 more to go ...

[slyeyes]

....screws up the tracking on your VCR....

Well, that's what they get for still using VCRs. I mean, that is SOOOOO last century.

doesn't mention that she has three herself

[Crash]

With them. Super nice.

And spent the day in bed with food poisoning today! fun fun.

[Meanie the Blue]

*We apologize for the following unheinzed interruption*

Calling Leetie! Calling Leetie!

Please report to the Main Blog immediately for a band personnel opportunity.

[Meanie the Blue]

Evening, all; long time no see. OK, did a bit o' heinzing now.

Jeff, please get off my table.

Hearty *SNORK!*@ Kibby's folks.

Crash, you spent the day in bed with Remi Boucher and family? That is awesome! Too bad about the food poisoning, though.