Dave Barry's Blog: BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

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June 28, 2006

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

Posted by Dave on June 28, 2006 at 09:33 AM | Permalink

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*not funny alert*

Isn't that a sign of iron deficiency?

Carry on.

Posted by: Glix | June 28, 2006 at 09:36 AM

MEDIC! EMERGENCY EYE BLEACH!

And Dave, I'll take this post as a big "YES" on my trailer park question.

Posted by: fivver | June 28, 2006 at 09:36 AM

What's wrong with good old traditional coal?

Posted by: Dr Acula | June 28, 2006 at 09:37 AM

Ew!

Posted by: Tamara Rhymes With Camera | June 28, 2006 at 09:40 AM

Meanwhile, the Toxic singer has confessed to having obsessive compulsive disorder - she can't stop cleaning.

Okay, now I understand her attraction to K-fed. He enables her cleaning addiction.

Posted by: fivver | June 28, 2006 at 09:41 AM

I just pity the kid and the future kid. I can't think of anything funny at this time.---KC

Posted by: Kid Charlemagne | June 28, 2006 at 09:43 AM

It is probably a "transfer" of a "sleeper teeth grinding" fixation to a daytime activity and can indicate worms in the intestine, possibly. Thank you

Signed,
Dr. Obe Wan Kanobe

Posted by: Kat | June 28, 2006 at 09:51 AM

Best sentence in the whole article:

The singer fears she'll lose her glamorous mystique when fans discover she's can't keep away from her rubber gloves and duster.

I hate to tell her, but that ship sailed a loooooong time ago.

Posted by: sthnbelle | June 28, 2006 at 09:54 AM

DAVE! How could you!? No warning or anything!

Posted by: Renee (the First) | June 28, 2006 at 09:59 AM

Renee (tf),
Haven't you learned by now what BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN means?

Posted by: blurkernomore | June 28, 2006 at 10:05 AM

I have now. (Shudders) It didn't always come with pictures, though.

Posted by: Renee (the First) | June 28, 2006 at 10:11 AM

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ....

There are so many things in that article. I just, I don't know, I can't even begin ...

*head explodes*

Posted by: Cheryl | June 28, 2006 at 10:18 AM

Was that nearly nekkid tramp really Brit Twit? It didn't look like her. K-Fed must have dwindled her cash reserves to the breaking point.

Have you guys heard that TomKat's family is having trouble unloading the baby pics for cash?!

Posted by: Jessica R. | June 28, 2006 at 10:18 AM

Twitney is looking flab-tastic. A coule more pounds and she will automatically qualify for the Roseann Barr-Arnold Booty Contest for Washed-up and Overweight Flash-in-the-pan Stars (coming to Fox this fall featuring the entire cast of Facts of Life, 8 is Enough, and Ralph Malph).

Posted by: random thunking | June 28, 2006 at 10:22 AM

Eeewwww. I threw up a little in my mouth.

Posted by: Kat | June 28, 2006 at 10:35 AM

Ok that picture woke me up in a not nice way. Why is he never around when you truly need him?

Posted by: Addicted to 24 | June 28, 2006 at 10:42 AM

Random - the extra weight is probably the new bebe she is carrying... Li'l Sis to (whatever the he!! the boy's name is) is probably going to be one chubby li'l pack of fun for the Federlines...

Posted by: Kathybear | June 28, 2006 at 10:43 AM

P.S. I didn't actually look at the article or accompanying picture. I know better. That's why I just comment on the comments in this case...

Posted by: Kathybear | June 28, 2006 at 10:44 AM

who knew ice had so many calories?

Overheard when the pictures were viewed:
"Thank G*d she's not completely nude."
"She looks like a whale,
Who ate Kate Beckinsale."
said her family (the others were rude).

Posted by: insomniac | June 28, 2006 at 11:10 AM

Elephant teeth?.....ice cubes?.......Nope. Not gettin' the connection, Sweetie.

Posted by: Layzeeboy | June 28, 2006 at 11:57 AM

"a massive 170lbs "...wow, so that is the definition of massive now?

Hello, operator, can I get the number for weight watchers?

Posted by: 24-aholic | June 28, 2006 at 12:09 PM

I originally read crunching ice cubes since conceiving again as crunching ice cubes while conceiving again. Found the entire thing amusing until I realized I had read it wrong. I like my version better

Posted by: KOW | June 28, 2006 at 12:11 PM

"Have you guys heard that TomKat's family is having trouble unloading the baby pics for cash?" - I guess if you call $3 million chump change! Greedy boogers.

Posted by: 24-aholic | June 28, 2006 at 12:13 PM

Wait, she's shocked that "87 percent of people polled in Us Weekly had less respect for Spears after the" Today show interview? Really?

Posted by: Sarah J | June 28, 2006 at 12:15 PM

it means that 13 percent weren't paying attention!

Posted by: insomniac | June 28, 2006 at 12:17 PM

hey, some good news for a change - with her mouth full of ice all the time, she wont be able to attempt singing :)

Posted by: TCK | June 28, 2006 at 12:30 PM

Shame on you people for making fun of a pregnant woman! This< is a much better photo of the greatest aquatic pop star ever!

Posted by: philintexas | June 28, 2006 at 12:38 PM

Posted by: Sarah J | June 28, 2006 at 12:53 PM

barbara manatee?!

Posted by: crossgirl | June 28, 2006 at 01:01 PM

*sining*
♩♬♫Barbara Manatee (manatee...manatee)
You are the one for me (one for me...one for me)
Sent from up above (manatee from heaven)
You are the one I love (I love I love I love)

Please don't cry Bar-ba-ra,
You're a nice Manatee,
You've been so good to me
But i must go into the world and do noble things for the good of all
And you cant come because you don't speak Frrrench.
Au revoir"

Barbara: But if you leave Bill
Who will take me to the ball?
Whose going take me to the ball, Bill?
I have a new dress and shoes
And new manatee lipstick
Who will take me to the ball?♫♪

Thanks for the earwig, cg

Posted by: Sarah J | June 28, 2006 at 01:11 PM

The singer fears she'll lose her glamorous mystique when fans discover she's can't keep away from her rubber gloves and duster.

Maybe not- the kinky porn websites will have a field day with her

Posted by: diverdowndoc | June 28, 2006 at 01:18 PM

(a) The photo is probably a fake [photo has since been removed] (b) so is the article.

Posted by: «LabSpecimen» | June 28, 2006 at 01:22 PM

Pictures here:

http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/britney-spears/

And one here:

http://www.defamer.com/assets/resources/2006/06/britney-onthefloor.php

Posted by: CreamyGoodness | June 28, 2006 at 01:48 PM