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June 16, 2006

BE ADVISED

In this blog's experience, it is easier to remortgage a home than to cancel an America OnLineOrElse account.

UPDATE: OK, here is why I say that:

I called the number they tell you to call if you want to cancel (although they do not make this number easy to find) and I went through the usual two or three or six dozen voicemail prompt/response exchanges with the sweet-sounding recorded voicemail lady, the only glitch there being when she asked me to confirm that I am, in fact, me, by telling her where I was born, which I did, and she TOLD ME I WAS WRONG, as if SHE knew something about where I was born that I DON'T know.

Anyway, I finally got through to a human, of sorts, a very agreeable guy named Jay who was sorry that I wanted to cancel but eager to be Helpful, as in "I can help you with that." His helpfulness took the form of asking me 183 different ways if I didn't want to in fact KEEP AmericaOnLineOrElse, as if I had gone through all that hassle with the sweet-sounding recorded voicemail lady for the sheer fun of it. I answered "no" in a dull monotone every time, until Jay finally gave up on Helping and said he would actually cancel my account. Then there was much waiting and pausing and putting-on-hold and talk of computer problems, and even a few more pitches to keep AmericaOnLineOrElse, until FINALLY Jay said he was going to give me my cancellation confirmation number, and then he put me on hold, and then....

...and then a voice came on saying, "If you'd like to make a call, please..."

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

So I don't know that I have, in fact, canceled my acount. The only way to know for sure would be to call back, and right now I do not have the strength.

Say, do you think....

Comments

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FIRST?

I tried to cancel mine FIRST, and again, and again...

Missed it by THAT much!

Dave, don't do it! The small print gives up the right to your left kidney, your oosik, and any hurricane shutters that you may have on your house on cancellation of your AOHell account.

Want to tell us about it Dave? You know how much we love details! :)

You're better off canceling your credit card, changing your name, and moving to a new country. That's easier than canceling your AOL account.

Dave, cancelling your AOL account is easy. I'm sure I can help you out. Just follow these 12,432 steps....

Boy, you're not kidding. My father passed away a
year ago, and his computer is long gone as well.
Yet AOL is STILL threatening to cancel his account
even though WE have tried to close it numerous times.

If you think cancelling the service is hard wait until you try to uninstall the annoying AOL software!

Uh Dave, resistance is futile. You have been assimilated.

Here's a pretty funny blog/mp3 recording which definitely backs this up.

http://insignificantthoughts.com/2006/06/13/cancelling-aol/

try this: aol is very competitive and usually will drop their rate to meet their competitors if you tell them who you're switching too. soooooooo....switch to one of those free services, then sell your computer, buy a new one, and never contact them again.

Angstly.... Reminds me of the old joke:

I Am Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistence is Retail. Your ass will be laminated.

Dave, we managed to cancel one once--at least I think we did.

Kyle, that link is heartbreaking...and way too familiar.

Steve *snork*

Can you email AOL to cancel your account?

I recall hearing this addressed once and found this in the archives of Clark Howard's web site. He's usually pretty good with this sort of thing.

same thing happened to me. repeatedly. EXACTLY the same thing.

CJrun: I read Clark Howard's explanation on canceling AOL. If ONLY.

Email and online is how you get support for the internet not working

*hands Dave a mojito*

From the Update you posted, it sounds like you did mostly the same thing, except Clark Howard says you should have them email, fax, or mail the confirmation number, as in not give it over the phone. America On Hold.

He didn't give me the option of having it mailed or faxed. He just said, OK, I'll give you your confirmation number. Then..... nothing.

Those bastards!

honest to god, i don't even remember how it finally ended. we kept re-upping for X free months because they refused to let us cancel it. it went on for YEARS. we never used the account at all, after the first few weeks. eventually they charged us and i called up and just started SCREAMING at them... every time they tried to ask a question or apologize, i started screaming at them again (while apologizing for screaming at that particular person because i knew it wasn't his fault that aol is NUTS). this went on for about 20 minutes before i let them talk at all. on that call, i think, they finally let us cancel.

Since you DID phone, talked to a human being, and memorialized it here, I'd say you have done all the "notifying" you need to do. Simply stop paying them.

Ugh.. sounds like trying to set up my ATM card last week.

"Please hold. You will then be given a confirmation number and then another number to call. You have to give them your confirmation number, inseam measurement and the age (in centimetres) of your mother's aunt's second cousin Bob. Or Bobbi, if s/he's had her operation by the time you get through to a human"

Here's a guy that reports a success.

You could always do the voicemail tango, find someone human or semi-human, and direct them to this thread. See if negative publicity helps you get disconnected.

try cancelling your ATT long distance plan. or refusing delivery on one of those f*cking dumb Wine books AmEx feels compelled to send every month, despite the fact that you DONT DRINK WINE and have told them repeatedly (and ever so gently) STOP SENDING THESE GODD*MN MOTHER-F*CKING BOOKS WE HATE THEM AND WE HATE YOU AND WE ARE GOING TO COME OUT THERE AND RIP OUT YOUR LARYNX IF YOU DON...oh. heh heh. got carried away there. sorry.

AOL. i have it, too. but only because i'm afraid to cancel.

puppy-Or order something over the phone without having to listen to the endless diatribe about other products you don’t want.

I ran into similar troubles trying to USE one of those free tickets you get for being an accomodating airline customer who moves to a different flight because the airline has overbooked the original flight.

Here's the thing: I had doubts about the airline but gave them a second chance because I really wanted to go on this trip with my husband. Then I got bumped and got the free ticket anywhere they fly and thought, "Great! I can take another trip now. Maybe this airline isn't so bad." Only, they wasted an entire morning of mine telling me I couldn't fly from this place to that place on a free ticket.

Thanks to their foresightless customer service policy, it will be years before I willingly use that airline again.

Why don't some of these companies see that in the long run it might be a clever business strategy to be good to everyone who contacts them?

Oh. And Booger.

Yup, the only way I ever got AOL to cancel my account was by cancelling my Credit Card. Good luck.

There's really nothing worse than, after going through all that Dave did (and I have in regards to other stuff) to hear that "If you'd like to make a call...". I just start screaming, and even though I'm the only one who can hear it, it helps a little.

Dave, when you call back (and you know you will eventually), do what I do and just scream, "Do NOT put me on hold, I've been disconnected 4 (four) times". (4 seems to be an impressive number; i.e., boy, this person isn't going away)

Sometimes it works. :)

Good luck.

Well since we're sharing stories...a couple of weeks ago a woman came to my door and asked me to participate in a survey of about five questions. She caught me in a good mood and I agreed to cooperate. At the end of it, she said I had earned a Home Depot gift certificate which I would "receive" soon.

I assumed the certificate would come through the mail, however, since that time I have received three phone calls from her “survey” company asking when they can deliver my certificate and"test the water quality in my home free of charge."

It will be a cold day in Floridian August before they get through my door.

*PS, I’m on the national no-call list, so I guess this company figures they’ve found a loophole.*

I went through the phone thing with AOL, with similar results, but silly me, I thought that was it. I then canceled the credit card, moved to another location (divorced my husband), and no longer even have the computer or phone number the AOL account was on. I recently received a collection letter telling me I owe an unbelievable amount of money for all those months my credit card didn't pay, and they just kept on billing...Do I need an attorney?

Some tips on how to cancel stuff despite the system.

http://www.boingboing.net/2006/06/15/how_to_cancel_a_serv.html

A0L is headquartered in Dulles, Virginia, rather close to DC. Coincidence?
I would play dirty and put Sophie on the phone - "You made my dad cry! Wait 'til Mommy gets home. You'll get the biggest time-out ever!"

Lisa: same thing happens when you 'activate' a new credit card. i *hate* that... sigh

I SWEAR this is true. My Dad died 2 years ago. We tried to cancel credit cards, utilities, etc. All we needed was a copy of the death certificate. No problem. Until AOL. They refused to cancel "until the owner of the account calls".

I hope they're still waiting.

What to properly do with an AOL CD.

Anyone else use their CDs for target practice? I was a witness to the AOL service infecting a computer like kudzu at a friends house and volunteered to remove the self replicating monstrosity, so I never had the problems on my own computer. My mother, however, is cheap and computer illiterate so when the CD with FREE on it came she asked me to come over and install it for her. Two hours, 6 beers, a BB gun and a blow torch later, I felt I had done all I could at the time to demonstrate the appropriate action to take with an AOL offer, although if I had an AOL representative upon which to use the remnants of the CD as a suppository, I could have done more.

She's on a cheap local dial-up and is perfectly happy.

I use the company satellite service.

Did I mention AOL cut my Atlanta Braves budget? The Braves record is their fault.

You'll want to keep an eye on your credit card statement (if an automatic payment was being made) because they WILL keep charging you. It happened to my sister. I like the suggestion for cancelling the card... probably easier.

With my sister, she contacted them for a refund after she was charged the first time and they sent her a check. Then they stopped payment on the check before she could cash it.

AOL is just as stingy when it comes to refunds. I tried AOL for one month, and then called to cancel. They offered my a second month for free. Turns out, they billed me anyway. When I called back to complain, they said I tried to cancel after the original free trial ended. The truth was that I had originally tried to cancel one day after it ended. AOL would not refund any portion of the $20.00 they billed me. I explained to them that $20.00 was nothing to them, but a lot to me. It fell on deaf ears.

I proclaim now that AOL is an evil empire, that I will never ever use their services, nor will I ever install their software on any computer I ever own ever again. Whenever I receive a disk from them in the mail, I thank them for the free DVD sleave they sent me, and throw the software disk away.

I used to like AOL. They used to be a reputable company. Now they are less than the protiens that make up pond scum.

Dave, to me the worst thing about AOL is that inane cheerful recorded voicemail robot. I'd like to rip her electronic throat out and stuff it... sorry, sorry.

Anyway, have you tried the gethuman database? It has a huge list of companies and tells you how to get a "live" (sic) person without going through Ms. Electronics.

Here is the AOL entry:

America Online 800‑827‑6364 Don't press or say anything.

Good luck.

Oh, and here is the database: gethuman.

Following that link posted by Kyle, I came across this post on another blog with a suggestion for how to cancel:

The first time I tried to cancel went much like the OP. I got really frustrated, said some nasty things to the CS drone that I later regretted, and slammed down the receiver.

The second time, I lied. The conversation went something like this:

C: I'd like to discontinue my service, please.
E: I'm sooOoo sorry to hear that, sir.

E: May I ask why you *think* you'd like to cancel your account? After all, we offer the bes....
C: I just moved to Alaska. We don't have phone lines, cable, or DSL here. And I can't afford the fuel oil to run the generator that powers my computer. Unless the caribou hunt goes well this winter, we're in for lean times.

E: Ooooh kayyyyy... do you have any friends or family that might want to use the account?
C: My family's all dead. My friends have deserted me. I'm cold, alone, and out of money.

E: The account will be cancelled as of [date].
C: Thank you!

I was attempting to cancel my land-line today since I haven't used it in over a year, and I had a call rep inform me that I would be putting my life at risk, as it was hurricane season, and there was a potential for downed cell towers.

He pursisted with this argument even after I pointed out that I was 5 hours from the coast.

Eventually I just had to tell him I'd take my chances.

That way works as well.

Or declaring your self as All Powerfull Zod.

I case you haven't figured it out yet, AOL is owned by the Al Quida network and in three months they will own all the property that used to be owned by AOL users. Them damn terrorists.

When I cancelled my AOL account, I pretended I was living in another country pretending to be calling from the states and utilized a nearly indecipherable accent.

OK, not really.

After I was successful in cancelling AOL, my daughter installed AOL messenger thingie on my computer. Everytime I logged on, that damn thing popped up in my face. I'd minimize it, got to another window and POP.

AOL is like an annoying younger cousin who JUST WON'T GO AWAY!!!

I've noticed no AOL fans chimed in to support them.

how about notifying your credit card company that you have cancelled your aol account and that any charges that show up on your credit card from now on from aol will be fradulent and you will not pay.

Neil G. That bit about Alaska was hysterical.

Also as a side note to everyone who doesn't wish to talk to the automated machine. When you first dial a number and it ask for you to press a button DON'T it will repeat itself twice then there will be a pause and it will automatically connect you with a real live person. This has worked on every number I have ever tried. Apparently they can't assume that you don't have a rotary phone.

Lisa BFF's story is example #358 why I never answer my doorbell. No good can ever come of it - unless it's the mail delivery guy and I see his little mini-vehicle in front of my driveway. :)

There is a class action lawsuit against AOL for doing that exact thing to people. And another class action for calling up really old people and telling them they need AOL to protect against viruses even though they don't have computers and don't know how to use computers. All the AOL people say is, "You'll get a virus if you don't have AOL...Aaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!"

I like judi's method of SCREAMING (her caps.) But a police whistle in the phone might be better.

Guin, whistles at a certain pitch will disconnect the phone line. I've tried this with ex-boyfriends.

Then you have to start again (the phone call AND the relationship hunt)

I had almost the *exact* same experience. Except I had a really nice woman who, even tho I kept telling her "I DON'T LIKE AOL", kept saying "did you know that AOL offers __________" I kept interrupting her and saying "I DON't CARE.". FINALLY they did cance it, but GEEEEEEZZZZZ.

Had a fun call from a long distance company who will remain nameless, but rhymes with AT&T. I don't have long distance, and use a 10-10 number which is 3 cents a minute, even to the UK where I call on a regular basis. She said, in a dramatic voice, "Do you KNOW how much you spent on long distance last month?"

I thought "OH, this will be fun!" and said "No" in an equally dramatic voice, "How much?"

"15 Dollars!"

"15 Dollars?? WOW. How much would it have been on your plan?"

When she did the math and came up with more than $25, she switched tactics and tries to sell me all sorts of other features.

Hee hee hee. THAT was fun!

I've heard that the only true way to cancel AOL is to do something offensive with your account and get kicked off. Fun and effective.

Dave, I had a very similar experience, and yes, it is SOOO frustrating.I finally ended up faking my own death and changing my name to MoFaux.

I've heard that the only true way to cancel AOL is to do something offensive with your account and get kicked off. Fun and effective.

True, Tux. I got my account suspended for supposedly sending a mass mailing (which I didn't), that could have been spam. So - message is, spam the b@stards and you're free!

Funny. I never had any problems dealing with cancelling AOL. I was online first with them and cancelled after a year maybe. I don't recall having any trouble- but that was back when they were gettng started and didn't have much competition. But I found the competition and have successfully been off AOL for over 10 years. My daughter's laptop came with AOL and 3 FREE months - we cancelled it after the first month, after we got a smart card so she could use my connection. Not much trouble then either. They must just love y'all.. :-)

You really got AOL in the first place? Oh me. If you installed it off of one of those 10,000 shotgun targets they send you in the mail, you might as well get a new computer, cause you will never get it off.
AOL=Satan

*snork* @ El's "no good can ever come of it."

El, I know what you mean. Usually people I want to see call me first.

Dave, you ended your update with: "Say, do you think...." Does that mean there will be a sequel entitled: "AOL II, the Wrath of Dave"?

Hello, my favorite blawgers, grammaw marina had the same awful aol pain a few years ago. I can't understand people who WANT other humans to hate them! Anyway, at that time (4 years ago) they said you HAD TO WRITE A LETTER!!! of cancellation, and then 3 MONTHS LATER they would officially cancel! I just got the following info off the net:

To Cancel AOL: If you choose to write or fax us, please include the nature of your request and primary billing contact's full name, phone number, address, and handwritten signature. Additionally, for account security purposes, please provide ONE of the following:

Master Screen Name or Username
The answer to the Primary Master Screen Name's Account Security Question
Last 4 digits of the credit card that you charged the service to
Contact America Online (AOL)
Members can cancel over the phone, by mail, or by fax.

Phone: 1-877-773-4462
2nd Phone: 1-888-265-8008
Address:
America Online
PO BOX 17100
Jacksonville, FL 32245-7100

So I suggest writing the cancellation letter and faxing, AND send by registered US mail. Do a CC to every government official office you can think of. And then keep the correspondence in a special file until you die.

Thar ye go!

I've heard that the only true way to cancel AOL is to do something offensive with your account and get kicked off. Fun and effective.
Yep, that's what I did! And I was a community leader for five years. In fact, what I did was tick em off to the point where they took away my CL "rights", and since at the time CL's got free service, I'd never bothered to update payment information when I closed the checking account that I'd been using before I became a CL. {snicker}

Here's a thought. As soon as you get to a human say "Hello, i'd like to cancel my account. By the way, i'm recording this phone call so I can post my experience on my podcast - I hope you don't mind." And really record the conversation. Maybe the thought of being broadcast to potentially millions of listeners will cause a better customer service experience.

Back in the dark ages of the internet when I had AOL, I would get totally screwed when I upgraded to a new version.

Why did I upgrade, you may ask.

After the second time, I chose not to. For those who have AOL, you know the human operator of the computer has no choice. I would be getting ready to log off, and then there would be that little green man walking in place while gaily (NTTAWWT) telling me I was being upgraded.

After that, I could not connect to the internet.

I would call AOL. A half hour later, after reaching whomever in Polynesia in charge of that, I would be informed that it wasn't an AOL problem, but a manufacturer problem.

I would call the manufacturer (whose call center was located in Asia Minor), who started saying, "Didn't we tell you before it's not our fault? Go talk to AOL."

So I'd go back to AOL and ask for the only person there who apparently knows how to fix this, because after this back and forth calling, there would be one person who would know what to do.

Then one day, I emerged from the primordial stew that was the early day of the internet, crawled into the lap of DSL and have evolved into a calmer, gentler net surfer.....wWho wishes the 7 plagues of Egypt, boils and STD's upon AOL.

But I am calmer.

My parents still have AOL. I'm going to have to break this to them gently.

Dave,

I agree with Darrin from way back at the start of this thread. Call your credit card company and ask them to stop payment to any AOL charges effective immediately. Back when I tried cancelling AOL several years ago, I too got the run around big time. Reading your tale was eerie as I too was disconnected by AOL after being on the phone with them for 20 minutes!

Anyway, even after cancelling, they continued to charge my card so I ended up calling the account and they took care of it for me.

After that experience, I vowed I would never use AOL even if it were free.

Lisa BFF - about being on the no call list. I think when you took the survey, you 'did business' with the company which makes it legal for them to call you.

A few years ago the big thing here was telemarketers trying to sell you cemetary plots. I would tell them I wasn't interested in buying, but what could they give me on a three day rental?

fivver-Yep, I think you’re exactly right. The thing that makes me so angry is that they know my wishes (because I’m on the no-call list) and they willfully try to get around them.

I have repaired so many computers that were disabled by AOL. I would NEVER willingly sign up for this turd. One time I checked a CC statement and discovered I was paying for AsshOLe. Sorry. Off went I. I of course used the live person number and repeated over and over, "SHUT IT DOWN NOW!" Nothing else, mind you. Just that. And it still took twenty minutes.

I tutor people in computer usage in my small rural community as a hobby. I have never used AOL. My personal mission in life is to prevent people from using this software.

When people ask me about it and claim they have to have it in order to get on the Internet, I explain that using AOL is like swimming in a pool next to the ocean. You can go to AOL sites (these are people that don't understand the Internet) or you can use a regular browser and explore the entire Net.

Sly, you certainly sound calm.

But do you mean to say that you didn't get to talk to Punjab in India?

I am right there with you Dave. About a month ago I decieded to cancel my AOL account based on the fact that I had'nt actually used my account in 4 months. So like you I called the number and spoke with the computer that makes the HAL 9000 look user friendly. So after I got a actual live person they also told all the bennifits of keeping my AOL account. After awhile I finally got it cancelled. Now with my cell phone plan I get 600 any time minutes a month which is more than enough as I rarely call people using them I mostly use the thing on the weekends. If I use 200 of those minutes in a month I am like wow who the heck was I talking to. But I guess it was worth using 115 of my 600 anytime minutes to cancel AOL.

Dave, did you know that after you cancel your account (har!) you get to keep your AOL email address ad infinitum for free? Even if you don't want it? Yes, you WILL be theirs forever!

WARNING, WARNING, WARNING!!!

You may have actually cancelled your AOHELL account, but they might have spammed you with all kinds of other accounts without your permission. That is what they did to me when I cancelled. I suddenly had about half a dozen mysterious charges show up on my credit card, all of them traceable back to AOHELL somehow. Took me another 12,273 phone calls to get them all credited.

When you call to cancel, they try to sell you all these other services... what they don't tell you is, they already signed you up for them. In my case, without my permission.

May they ROT IN AOHELL!

AOL is truly evil.

I sent this to Dave, but in case he doesn't post it - Here's another AOL horror story, and AOL just feels TERRIBLE! about this - yeah, right!

ooops, forgot to use my real name. I am not afraid of AOL.

Maybe someone already said this, but the thing to do is ACT like the cancellation worked (i.e. uninstall AOL) and then dispute the next charge on your credit card.

Lisa - File a complaint with the government about what happened to you. Use the words "deceptive practice." It's true that they were establishing a relationship with you, but they did it in a sneaky way by withholding information. Also, find out if your neighborhood requires a solicitation permit and whether or not that company has one.

Ann-Great idea! Thankyou.

No matter how many times you successfully cancel your account, the charge, which was actually suposed to count toward the following month's service, will still keep being applied to your credit card for at least 6 more months.

Lisa something similar to me happened last year. I took a online survey and stupidly put in my real phone number. Well wouldnt you know it I started getting calls on a nightly basis even though (and all hail to the GREAT DAVE BARRY) I took Dave's advise and signed up for the DO NOT CALL LIST (for the record I also called the numbers he wrote in his column a few dozen times oh sweet revenge). Anyway I kept telling these people that I am on the DO NOT CALL LIST and they told me that since I filled out a survey they have the right to call me now even though I am on the list. So I went to the DO NOT CALL LIST website and saw this paragraph...
If you place your number on the national registry, you still can give written permission for particular companies to call you. Alternately, if you have an established business relationship, you still can ask the company not to call you. The company must honor your request, regardless of any prior written permission. And if you don't put your number on the national registry, you still can prohibit individual telemarketers from calling, by asking each to put you on their company's do not call list.
The next night they called me and I told them about this. They said I dont think so. I went to the website logged a complaint and I havent heard a word from them since then.
Life is good.

Laynie.. I've listened to the sound file for the AOL cancellation.. the kid was ringing to cancel an account in his parents' name. He wouldn't answer security questions, didn't know his screen name or password, wouldn't give a surname address or phone number .. I wouldn't cancel his account either. Based on that, I could have rung up and cancelled Dave's account myself.

I rang my brother's ISP once. I changed his log-on password, just using his name and an old address. They changed it without a question.

ooops, forgot to use my real name. I am not afraid of AOL.

Yeah El, but you don't have to be afraid. You are not a victimcustomer of theirs.

Addicted - good advice. I gave to a wildlife charity once - now they keep calling, since I 'did business' with them. Next time I'll tell them I'm recording the conversation and tell them to put me on their 'do not call list.'

Well, I think I will make you all feel better. I don't know how I did it (several years ago), but I downloaded the AOL disk and put in different info from different places and included my EX-girfriend's name because she was on AOL. I got the free trial for a million hours or 30 day. I called and cancelled withing the timeframe. I must have fallen thru the cracks. I used AOL for over a year on that free disk until they caught up with me and tried to bill me. I called and told them that I had already cancelled it and I wasn't paying. I didn't hear from them again. About a year later I tried the old AOL sign in and it worked!! So just for the heck of it I used it for a while..That is the only time in my life that I was able to get around the 'establishment' and STICK IT TO 'EM!!

Addicted-Thanks, good to know. I will absolutely do that the next time I hear from them. (Their call this morning was number four!)

Dave (& y'all)

I haven't heinzed, but from the tone of Dave's post at the start, this sounds similar to my experience (which is now in a limboesque presaging of lawsuit) with a company which rhymes with MirthStink ... the last time they called me to ask me about "past due payments" and I actually talked with a human (?) being (with, albeit, an accent that seemed to have originated somewhere in south-central Asia) and I asked to speak to his supervisor, because I had cancelled the account two years prior yet they kept taking money out of my checkbook [NOTE: Not the fault of MB (RH?)!!! There is ANOTHER account that has "...link" in it's name, and she merely did not notice the slight difference ... I'm on the road for 8-9 months of the year, so I never see my bank statements) to the tune of approximately $500 US ... he never came back on the line, and they have not dared call me back ...

Can you believe I said all that in one (sort of) sentence?

When they are served with the papers that will require them to appear in court ... mebbe they'll call again ...

Merely ... contemplatin' revenge ...

AWBH and LBFF, give having them take you off their call list a try, any reputable charity or company will be glad to take your name off. It saves them time and money. But the federal no call law does not apply to charities and politicians.

O.the U-Go get 'em!

My parents had the same experience as Dave. They asked me to call, because, well, they know that NOBODY runs over me.

AOL tried to give me the same kind of BS. I told them I was cancelling for my parents, because they were dead and no longer needed the service. So, she tried to sell my their services. I told her I live in Guatemala. She thought she had 'caught' me (with a sort of Aha sound in her voice) she asked, "Then how is it your calling from Houston?"

"I'm here for their funeral." Daddy turned white, Mom turned red, from straining not to laugh out loud. But, I got the account cancelled.

Wow - Sondra, you're good! Are you available for hire? I have an HMO that needs to be spanked.

Annie Where-but-here,

You're not the first one to ask me that. I used do this sort of thing for fun and free. (I enjoy thwarting evil-doers.) But, I really do live in Guatemala now, and 800 numbers aren't free if you're calling from outside the country.

If you want to pay international calling rates, I'd love to attack, er, um, speak with your HMO.

What i did to end my service was call up AOL support and informed them of the following:

1-My Credit card used to create the account, and all banking information associated with it were cancelled and/or closed, with all money transferred out of it. There was no way they'd get money from me, period.

2-I understand that they are offering free stuff to have me keep my AOL account, and i wholeheartedly accept because....

3-If i could log in to my AOL account the following day, i would assume i was being given free AOL access with no obligation, due to my intent on ensuring that i pay them no money for any more of their services.

I then asked if the guy i was talking to if he understood what i just said, upon hearing any sort of affirmation, i hung up before listening to anything else he said.

.....

Oddly enough, my account was no longer accessable within 30 minutes of hanging up....

*bows to the master*

Dave:

WELCOME...you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave....................

100th as well!

Yes, I am that much of a geek

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