BAD IDEA OF THE DAY SO FAR

Are they serious?

(Via Gizmodo)

Comments

[Amanda in Hawaii]

FIRST!!!

[southerngirl]

but how will you be able to flip somebody off thru a voice synthesizer?

[Amanda in Hawaii]

And I can think of many, many messages I'd like to communicate to other cars while I'm in traffic. I'd start with "put your stupid cell phone down and drive, you big idiot!" I wonder how the new system would communicate that message?

[muffles]

" HEY YOU @*&@#$%@#$ IDIOT! GET YOUR @$*#%&@$% #@$% OUT OF MY WAY! ^@#% LEARN TO !#!@$ DRIVE!!"

[Annie Where-but-here]

"Your headlights are on, and they're fabulous."

[blurkernomore]

Um...I know this may come as a shock to some but...now don't tell anyone...there's this thing called a CB radio.

[Brainy Jello]

If I could program 5 messages:

1) The left lane is for passing. Move over.

2) It doesn't matter that you're already going the speed limit. The left lane is for passing.

3) Enforncement isn't your job. There may be an emergency you don't know about. Move over.

4) I have a gun. I'm not gonna ask again. Move over.

5) Your blinker is on.

[blurkernomore]

OH, and Annie, high beam headlights are one (two?) of the greatest things on earth.

[Suzy Q]

Why, thank you, Annie. Your fenders are looking particularly perky today, as well.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Why, thank you, Suzy Q. Was that blurker I saw polishing your chrome the other day?

[Susy]

I personally prefer the "finger" style of communication between vehicles...call me old fashioned

[Cat R.]

I agree with Amanda. The message I usually want to give is "hang up and drive!" But somehow, finding a way to key that into some device while I myself am driving seems to dilute the message...

True story -- an idiot hit my car last month HEAD ON (extremely slow, in a residential area -- didn't even trigger the air bags) because he was TEXT MESSAGING while he drove and wasn't looking up when he drifted into me.

Like many (some? ok, just me I guess) women, I am horn-challenged, so honking was not my first instinct when I saw him floating my way. (Trying to get out of his way was -- I thought he was drunk.) But now I am learning. I honk at everybody now. I drive with my hand on the horn.

MORONS! Hang up and drive!!!!!

[Suzy Q]

Annie: Maybe. I don't always shine and tell.

[blurkernomore]

Annie, you weren't supposed to see that.

[Annie Where-but-here]

pssst - blurker - her airbags are synthetic.

[Sarah J]

I'm honk-challenged too! My sister's always telling me "You should have honked at that driver for driving dangerously/recklessly/etc" I'm getting better, though. I've honked my horn 3 times now! (In the past 3 years, all since the beginning of the year)

[MOTW]

Dave - bring on the colored sucker-dart system! (green = booger on driver's nose)

[Suzy Q]

Annie: Perhaps, but I don't deploy them for just anyone.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Suzy - oh no? Just anything out of Detroit! You are such an Edsel.

[Mustang]

Hey ... Rustbucket! Did your driver eat at Taco 8ell or are you just blowing smoke?
*neener*

[Brainy Jello]

Dave was really a pioneer in inter-auto communication when he elaborated on the car-poon.

[«LabSpecimen»]

1. "Hang up and drive"
2. "Speed up, Cletus!"
3. "Move over, Hooplehead!"
4. "Turn right on red when the traffic is CLEAR, idiot!"

[Annie Where-but-here]

Lab - "Hooplehead"?!?

[Accord]

"Hey - did you see that hot Sebring?! She had her top down!"

[Straw]

I don't have a problem with honking when situation merits it. The problem is response time.

1. Observe boneheaded driving.

2. Wait to see if maybe, just maybe the idiot will correct him/herself.

3. Realize that is not gonna happen and need to alert driver to his/her stupidity.

4. Try to locate horn, since in one car it is in the center and in the other car there are two on either side.

5. Too late to push the horn because the chucklef&#$ is now long gone.

6. Curse my own stupidity and wear mental dunce cap for the rest of the day.

[MOTW]

*hands consolation chocolate bar to Straw*

[«LabSpecimen»]

Annie. Yes. That's what I said.

[KOW]

Nice. Road rage for geeks.

[Sarah J]

Lab- you're sounding more and more like my uncle every day! Do you say googumpucky and honyakey too? (I don't know how they should be spelled, I only know what they sound like)

[southerngirl]

*snork* @ Brainy's list!

[Straw]

mmmm, chocolate.

[«LabSpecimen»]

Sarah J: No, but I've recently found that I'm saying m0therf#$!&* and c&cks@&!er a lot more. And I'm drinking more bourbon and smoking cigars.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Lab - Mom, is that you?

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Annie-Gives new meaning to speed-dating???

Wessonality!-I'm honk-challenged also. I get flustered and hit the steering wheel everywhere but the horn.

[crossgirl]

think there'll be a message for "hey, you're hot. meet me at that bar around the corner?" it could really revolutionize onramp dating.

[Sarah J]

Oh, my uncle doesn't do that.

[crossgirl]

oh speed dating!!!
change my post to speed dating. good one lisa!

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

crossgirl- ;-)

[Cat R.]

Straw ~ I love your word "chucklef&#$". I can't stop saying it now.

chucklef&#$
chucklef&#$
chucklef&#$

I'm making my own message device right now. A ping-pong paddle with "chucklef&#$" written on it. I'll just keep it on the seat next to me when I drive. I can think of a hundred uses for it right now. Pi$$ me off? I'll wave my paddle at ya!

chucklef&#$!

[Straw]

Wessonality: Okay, you had me laughing pretty hard with your comment, alone. Then I imagined Florence Henderson making the comment, and now I'm done for. Might as well pack up and go home.

[Laura]

You know, cell phones don't bother me so long as people are driving okay. Some people can honestly multi-task just fine. Others drive a good 10 miles an hour under the speed limit, drift around or make bone-headed traffic mistakes. THESE folks are the ones that need a talking to (and these are are real-life examples I have personally witnessed):

1. Eating (not juts holding a burger - but one hand w/ the plate, the other using a fork to eat a slice of pie).
2. Shaving with a non-electric razor - Like THAT doesn't hold all kinds of promise for disaster!
3. Putting on makeup - WITH the mirror turned all cattywhompus so they can see themselves rather than the road
4. Doing the New York Times Crossword - ONLINE!
5. Watching porn - IN THE FRONT SEAT!
6. Fighting animatedly (both verbally AND physically) with their front seat passenger - at 50 miles an hour.
7. Riding with their dog (I mean a ROTTWEILER, not a freaking Chiahuahurat!) on their laps, while a second dog barks in the back.
8. Being so completely distracted by SOMETHING (or with such complete disregard for everything around them) that they can't be bothered to pull to the side or even slow down when an emergency vehicle is trying to get through.

[Schadeboy]

The link isn't working for me... :-(

[Pitty Pat]

Wow, just what we need - even more cause to get your head blown off by strangers on the freeway.
Rule of the road here is don't make eye contact.

A friend of mine has two sons, 4 and 5 years old. With them in the backseat, she was trying to refrain from her use of expletives while driving. One day she simply sighed in frustration at the driver ahead. Her older son said, "Mom, why didn't you say Damn Damn Damn?" When she shook her head, her younger son said brightly, "Oh, go ahead!"

[24-aholic]

Wessonality - I feel ya. Stopped at a red light, rear ended by a kid sending a text message. Good thing I have a minivan as the kids were in the car and we were hit at a pretty decent speed. Same thing happened to my brother-in-law but his SUV was totaled.

I would like a neon flashing message (like on the bottom of the screen for news programs) that rotates all around my vehicle and flashes "get off your phone, you moron"

[Sarah J]

Schade- How often have you been driving and wished you could communicate with another driver? Perhaps you'd like to give them advance warning that you intend to slow down, say thanks when they have given way or issue a gentle rebuke for some lapse of road manners on their part.
Sony is patenting a simple way to make this possible. It could even let traffic lights pass messages to your car, perhaps to let you know just how long they'll be stuck on red.
The system will rely on high-power LEDs built into car headlights. These can produce an apparently continuous beam that is in fact flashing very rapidly to communicate encoded messages.
A car's headlight could then transmit a pre-programmed message at the press of a button to the car in front. A light sensor on the target car would then decode the message and display it on a screen or using a voice synthesiser inside the car.

[Suzy Q]

Annie: Takes one to know one!

[nannie]

Snork @ all the "gentle rebukes"

[Blondentropy]

Does "speed dating" lead to being "auto-mated"? Do people who are active "speed-daters" get insurance discounts if they promise to practice safe driving? Can female drivier press charges against other drives who ride her bumper without consent?

[blurkernomore]

Ladies, ladies, ladies...synthetic airbags or those made from all-natural products makes no difference to me. As long as they are properly inflated.

[KCSteve]

muffles, have you been reading the pre-programmed text I put on the big button?

One of these days I am going to get that massive diesel air horn hooked up under the hood of my mini-van.

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Blondentropy-Excellent questions!! For answers we should consult the DMV (Dating while in a Moving Vehicle) Manual.

[Annie Where-but-here]

I don't see what the big deal is about texting while you're driving. I'm doing it right now and I've never had an accid#!$%!@#........

[blurkernomore]

Uh-oh, Annie. Looks like you're gonna have to have some body work done to your vehicle. New headlights, perhaps?

*ducks that flyin' shoe again*

[muffles]

I just want to say that I've become EXELLENT at using my horn while driving in the lovely state of Utah. My crazy-driver husband even thinks I overdue it. I drove around Los Angeles and was less nervous and saw less accidents than I have here. And I lived in LA much longer.

[muffles]

PS: KCSteve - awesome idea. Patent it and I'll buy one from you

[Pitty Pat]

blurkernomore - define "properly inflated."

8-)

[Jeff Meyerson]

BRainy: LOL for ) I have a gun. I'm not gonna ask again. Move over.

That should do it.

[blurkernomore]

Pitty Pat,
I'm already in enough trouble with Annie. I'd better leave that alone or she won't let me go the doghouse...um...I mean, she won't send me to the doghouse anymore.

I'm thirsty.

[Sarah J]

Muffles- I totally agree with you on the Utard driver thing. NO one passes on the left, people drive all different speeds in all different lanes. I have no idea why UT drivers are so crappy.

[muffles]

The funny thing is, once they get OUT of their cars, they're bringing you brownies and watching your kids for you. It's the opposite of England, my friend said. There, apparently they even have a secret wave to let you know if there's a cop further down the road.

[Mad Scientist]

*Hands blurk a spiked collar*

Go ahead and answer

[Sarah J]

here I'm not sure there are even cops on the roads at all! Every now and then I see a "state trooper" (why they're not called UHP, I don't know) but I've never seen a car pulled over on a city street over a mile away from the Y (maybe they like to pick on students?). Constant vigilance is required when you're driving in Utah, you always have to be on the lookout for crazy drivers, and they're all around you all the time.
also, what part of UT are you in, muffles?

[Kar-Kar]

My Mother was a car (I think perhaps a Toyato) and she never did shut up. So I left her at a friend's house one day and forgot to go back and pick her up.

[Straw]

you mean flashing the high beams? I mean..er...I have no idea what sort of "cop ahead" signal you mean! I certainly would not be the sort to thwart law enforcement, nosiree.

[Susan]

Where's Claire Martin lately? I miss her harvests.

[Blondentropy]

I believe the number of bad Utah drivers is due to what I call 'Californication', and BYU students(Not you Sarah J, I'm sure!) Utah drivers themselves are like beta fish- fine on their own, but lethal if grouped with outside fish. Ever been at a 4-way stop with Utah drivers? No body wants to be selfish and go first, so the (polite) gestures and smiles go on for one eternal round. Sheesh!

[blurkernomore]

No way, Mad Scientist! You're not talkin' me into it. Annie would probably go get El and maybe even Judi (if she's not at a Marlin's game) and they would tie me in a chair and make me listen to Copacabana for 12 hours or some other hideous form of torture.

OK, the tyin' up part might not be so bad, but I don't think I could survive BM.

[not*my*real*name]

um...o.k....envisioning (like in the movies "Grease", "Fast and Furious", and "Better off Dead") driving up beside those sweet little chucklef&#$'s, with a big smile on my face, waving bye to them after I blast them with my long, silver bullet thingy that scrapes up the side of their car and blows their tires out.

[blurkernomore]

*Not funny alert*

Straw,
Actually, police officers don't mind the "flashing the high beams thing" because it accomplishes the goal that we are trying to achieve. Get people to slow down! Believe it or not, our first goal is public safety and we'll take all the help we can get.

*end not funny alert*

[Bill]

Well, if these messages were on the front of your car, meant for the driver in front of you, wouldn't they have to be in reverse type like the writing on ambulances?

I have always wanted an LED screen mounted on the front and back of the car for this purpose. Youu would only need two messages:

1. "ASSHOLE!!" and
2. "SORRY!!"

That pretty much covers all contingencies.

Oh, those and "hey, good lookin'! I'll be back to pick YOU up later!"

[Eleanor]

A few years ago here in San Diego the cops put out an announcement telling drivers NOT to flash their high beams at another car who had their's on, because gang members were driving with high beams and if someone flashed theirs, they shot them!!!!

We don't honk here anymore for pretty much the same reason.

And the only drivers you can safely flip off are the ones with gray hair.

[blurkernomore]

El,
I was referring more to open highway driving. We don't have a real big gang problem in Montana. Primarily because EVERYBODY has a gun. You're right about big city driving though. Ya never know what's gonna start the boolets flyin'.

[muffles]

Well, my husband's been pulled over twice (me with him once) since we've been here, and they were both around the 'Y'. (That's what part of Utah I'm in, Sarah J) Oh yeah, except for the time 4 cop cars arrived to see why we were parked on the side of a road (waiting for someone). But that was another city.
Blondentropy: you from UT? What part?

[Brainy Jello]

Since we're on the "warning others" topic, a guy in Ogden, UT held up a sign warning of a speed trap. The cops demanded he leave, and when he refused they roughed him up and arrested him for "obstruction of justice."

Arrested for encouraging people to obey the law. Nice.

Seems safer than flashing headlights in Eleanor's hood.

[Ann]

"issue a gentle rebuke for some lapse of road manners on their part"

Yeah, that's what this country is known for. Gentle rebukes (also, "Gentle Rebukes" WBA terrible NFARB).

[Sarah J]

*starts singing*

Provo is for lovers
sisters and brothers...

*can't remember how the rest of the song goes*

[Sarah J]

also, the cars with CA plates (like mine) usually have better (and law-abiding) drivers than those with UT plates, at least in the larger communities. I'm sure it's different in the smaller, more rural areas

[muffles]

Heh, wouldn't it be funny if you were the Sarah that I sit next to at wor.... whoa. I just freaked myself out.

*peers around cubicle wall to see what the so-called "Sarah" is doing over there*

[not*my*real*name]

SARAH J - Why do California drivers abide by the law in larger communites, not smaller ones? Out here where I live (OR) they are the worst offenders!

[Sarah J]

I meant that utah drivers in smaller communities might be better drivers. I have no way to know how they drive in Panguitch or some other small town

[muffles]

And remember, not*my*real*name, she's comparing them to UT drivers. They come out shiny and bright in that comparison.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Sorry so late - had to go get the stock trailer and halter for blurkie.

[blurkernomore]

Annie, just don't wear spurs. No wait...scratch that.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Scratch what?

[blurkernomore]

Ya know...THAT.

[blurkernomore]

No, not that THAT, the other THAT...oh, never mind.

[Cat R.]

Go up a few posts and click on Ann's link. It's about road rage.

What amused me was the advertisement to the right. In the context of road rage, it looks like the lady in the red shirt is gonna smack sumbuddy upside the head with that golf club of hers, and I dunno who the old man in the yellow shirt is shaking his fists at!

[Mad Scientist]

Annie can I help hogtie this one?

[Annie Where-but-here]

Mad - go for it. Just be careful - he bites.

[Glix]

They do say that you never learn to curse properly until you learn to drive. I would probably get shot if other drivers found out what I was saying (Yet, out from behind the wheel, butter wouldn't melt in my mouth. Hmmm...)

I may need to make obscene language an everyday thing, though, just to use the word "chucklef&#$" in everyday conversation.

[Straw]

Okay, I was driving home and noticed at one point that I had left my blinker on for quite awhile. The reason I didn't realize it was on was because I had the CD player cranked up too loudly to hear it clicking. I was listening to Journey's "Only the Young." Hmm....

[eat_black_licorice]

Having lived in Utah, I have to say that, as ridiculous as their driving is, it only gets worse in Kansas City. Just try to change lanes. You signal, and the driver of the car that was going 35 to the right of you suddenly decides to drive 55. Freeway on-ramps are a nightmare.

[MoFaux]

I just communicate by putting on a plastic clown mask and using binoculars to stare at women in the next car.But thats just me.

[Kat]

Answer phones talk to answer phones. (voice mail)
So why not have cars talk to other cars?
The refrigerator could talk to the stove and the dish washer talk to the sink. What about having the commode talk to the urinal?

[PrairieWolf]

If anyone wants to learn to use the horn, just move to northern NJ for a year. I live across the country now, and I still tremble when I think about the crazy drivers there (and I don't mean just reckless like in Boston, but ruthless like in a demolition derby).

One confession - I used to be one of those idiots that drove with my dog in my lap (many years ago). My yorkie used to love to be on my lap, and there was plenty of room, so I thought -- what's the problem? Once he jumped out the driver's side window. Thank goodness I was going slow in a residential area, and he did a perfect tuck-and-roll fall and was fine. But it wasn't until he got the idea to jump onto the floor and get under the brake pedal that I realized just how dangerous it was having him loose. I've been a HUGE advocate of crating or buckling dogs into a seat belt since then (all you need is a regular dog harness and one of those snap-rings like climbers use - you can get the cheap at the hardware store). I even show people just how it's done. No fanatic like a convert. :)

[marfie]

Okay, UT and KC have NOTHING on drivers in Washington DC. I swear they accelerate for people in crosswalks.

Worst I ever saw was on HWY 680 going through San Jose (CA) - I looked over and the guy in the next lane was reading a book.

[Sarah J]

but that was ONE guy! In UT more than half the drivers on the road aren't paying any attention, nearly crossing lanes at times, but they're not drunk. I've seen people reading newspapers, doing makeup, shaving, and (ISIANMTU) doing their hair with one of these. The drivers in San Jose (where I lived for 18 years) are much better than those in Utah.

[queensbee]

hey there other driver .... wanna see my gun?????

[Blondentropy]

I'm on the 1-15 corridor btwn Provo and SLC. I have learned to avoid Provo as much as possible...

[Neil G]

I've always maintained that we should all be issued guns that shoot little flags that say "@$$hole" on them. You only get one flag every year, so you have to save it for someone who's really ticked you off. If the cops see a car with three or more flags, they pull the guy over and ticket him for being an @$$hole.

I think I now have to update plan so the flags say "chucklef@#&".