24

At the end of last week's episode, Jack sneaked into the baggage compartment of a diplomatic flight by posing as a baggage handler, and the plane was about to take off. Somebody on that plane has the secret tape recording that will expose the role of President Manilow in the death of deceased former acting President Allstate Spokesperson, as well as the extremely tedious plot involving the Bad-Fake-Accent Terrorist Gang using the Killer Kanisters of Karnage to release death gas.

But the big news from last week's episode is a Shocking Plot Development that we are pretty sure the writers came up with up about 15 minutes before last week's episode aired. It turns out that there is a whole new evil villain puppetmaster -- even higher up the puppetmaster chain than the other six or seven evil villain puppetmasters we have had so far this year -- in the form of... prepare to be shocked... some bald guy.The Episode Guide on the official 24 web site describes him as, quote, "a power broker named Graham, who is surrounded by other men at computer stations." Obviously these men plan to broker power in such a way as to put the entire nation, if not the entire planet, in Mortal Peril, because why the hell else would they need computer stations?

Meanwhile, the First Lady has finally figured out that her husband, who has behaved like a total  dipstick slimeball for, like, 57 consecutive episodes, is... prepare to be shocked... a total dipstick slimeball. The First Lady says she intends to remain silent about this, but she is probably in Mortal Peril anyway.

Speaking of Mortal Peril: Last week Secretary of Defense William Devane, attempting to escape some terrifyingly bad dialogue, drove into a lake. But we do not know for sure that he is dead. We seriously doubt whether the writers know for sure whether he is dead. We can confirm that Edgar is still dead. Audrey had an excellent opportunity to die, but as usual she blew it.

When last seen, Chloe was still at her workstation, trying valiantly to obtain the diplomatic flight passenger list and download it to Jack's PDA before a Tactical Assault Team reaches her location and takes her into custody for the 357th time. Will she make it? Will Jack have to shoot any of the plane passengers in the thigh to force them to talk, or at least to return their tray tables to the upright and locked position? Stay tuned. Or not! At this point it hardly matters.

UPDATE: The Toyota "Yaris?"

UPDATE: I mean, doesn't "Yaris" sound like some kind of fungal disease?

UPDATE: The dry channels are 15 and 27.

UPDATE: "Who is it?" "Homeland Security." Har.

UPDATE: Chloe is a good skulker.

UPDATE: If she orders a beer, I will love her forever.

UPDATE: JACK''S PHONE WORKS IN THE PLANE!

UPDATE: Uh-oh. Bar jerks.

UPDATE: Jack Bauer, Air Marshall.

UPDATE: Wait, there's only one "l" in "marshal." Sorry.

UPDATE: I think Jack should just knock out everybody in the plane, and then.... I dunno, maybe get some sleep.

UPDATE: The First Lady neeeeeeeeeeds her medication.

UPDATE: I think Mike should offer the First Lady some reefer.

UPDATE: Mike needs to read the script. He is WAY behind.

UPDATE: Maybe Chloe will shoot the bar jerk.

UPDATE: I've been on a lot of flights like that.

UPDATE: Vectors!

UPDATE: Hey.... Do we think maybe Mike is evil? We used to think he was, and then we stopped thinking he was. But now we wonder.

UPDATE: Good think Jack didn't shoot Hans.

UPDATE: Ha ha! They think they can kill Jack by depriving him of oxygen! JACK BAUER DOES NOT NEED YOUR PATHETIC OXYGEN!!!

UPDATE: Chloe! Taser!

UPDATE: "I'm the man in your cargo hold." I bet you don't often hear that, as a pilot.

UPDATE: Jack is letting the air out of the entire plane. THAT will foil their little plan.

UPDATE: You have to hand it to Jack: He is not afraid to risk innocent people's lives when he has to, which is roughly every eight minutes.

UPDATE: Why doesn't the prez just tell the Air Force to shoot down the plane?

UPDATE: Bill called the Homeland Security creepster a little ass-kisser. Good for Bill, getting that out.

UPDATE: A soft Q and A! Whoa.

UPDATE: This music is annoying. I think it's affecting everybody's mood.

UPDATE: Something better happen, or this will officially be declared the Worst Episode Ever.

UPDATE: Thank God for Chloe. She's providing the only action.

UPDATE: THE CO-PILOT!!

UPDATE: The old cramp-in-the-leg trick!

UPDATE: The old land-this-plane-or-I'm-gonna-put-a-bullet-in-your-head line!

UPDATE: The bald puppetmaster read my idea about shooting down the plane! That BASTARD!

UPDATE: Gosh, do you think Jack will get killed next week? Or what?

UPDATE: OK, at least it was Audrey-free.

Comments

[WoosterGirl]

First!!!

[Suzy Q]

Second!

[sparrow]

Third

[AnotherBob]

Wow... this is early for a 24 post. Oh, and third.

[WoosterGirl]

Whew! What a head rush. I think I need a cigarette.

Oops, I forgot. I don't smoke.

[AnotherBob]

... Damnit.

[Gretchen]

Cool - one blog celeb has arrived. Now we just sit tight and watch the red carpet. ;-)

[T and C in KC]

Ironic that evil bald guy worked for Robo-villian in the original Robocop.

[Suzy Q]

Are we ready to ruuuumble???

24 countdown checklist:

wine: check *looks around* Wait, where the hell did it go? Oh, believe me, it WILL be a check.

dinner: check. This evening's offering was roasted garlic and cheese tortelloni in a very nice marinara sauce accompanied by a belated garlic bread.

remote: check. The bastid tried to fake me out by needing new batteries, but I shot it in the thigh, replaced the batteries, and now we're ready.

bloglit friends gathering: check. Props to Woostergirl for her First.

Bring it ON!!!!!

*runs off to find wine*

[LucyVanPelt]

What I would like to know, is why Jack can download the schematic's to a 747, email his entire friend list, and possibly conduct heart surgery with his PDA, and I can't get the damn thing to stop flashing my gynecologist appointment at me!

[T and C in KC]

DUH - meant to say Robocop killed evil bald guy in Robocop. Robocop clotheslined him off a dirtbike after evil bald guy held up (and blew up) a gas station.

"I know you - we killed you. WE KILLED YOU"

Evidently evil bald guy studied at the Jack Bauer school of broadcasting.

[JT]

Any picks for the 24 dead pool tonight?

[AnotherBob]

I put $50 on Robocop.

[Renee]

Seventh!

What can I say? I'm bored.

[Suzy Q]

Off-thread comment: My sis is on TV right now! As part of the "Inside Miami Vice Squad" show on Court TV. Yep, she's a narc. *scuffs toe* But a GOOD narc!

[Dr Alice]

It just better not be Aaron or First Cleavage in the Dead Pool, because I'll be pissed.

[T and C in KC]

My money is on at least one member of the flight crew.

Think Curtis will factor in tonight? He's been a bit absent lately.

[Renee]

Oops.

[Suzy Q]

Hey, Gretchen! Got yer beer?

[JT]

Me, I say Bill. Call me an incurable optimist, but I think Chloe's gonna pull through this episode, which means that the only one left to like is Bill. (Curtis too, but Curtis is too cool to die.)

BTW, at the end of last week's episode, weren't they taking Robocop back to CTU? Oh, yeah, that worked really well LAST time they did that...

[O. the U(manity)]

Where were you last night?

That’s so long ago I don’t remember.

Will I see you tonight?

I never make plans that far ahead.

Merely tossin' in some good dialogue, for old time's sake ... it's a certainty you won't hear any in the next hour ... on the TV, I mean ... there should be plenty of good stuff from the bloglits ...

[Stickler]

I am so excited for tonights episode and for the dead pool I would like to go with the First Lady and she will be shot by none other then the president!

[Gretchen]

Lucy: Is your gynecologist by any chance a snarky dirty blonde with an exceptionally bad attitude and an equally bad sweater? Or perhaps a short, slim balding guy who wears a hoodie and carries a messenger bag?

[JT]

24th!!!

[Suzy Q]

I vote for Awdrey for the dead pool.

I can dream, can't I?

[WoosterGirl]

Ooooh, checklists, YES!

Blogit Chix and Chucks: Check!

Spawns in bed: check

Remote: check

Jammies on bod: check

Remote in hot little hand: check

Alchohol in hand (a nice Hard Lime tonight, thanks!): check!!!

Shout out to Suzy: BRING IT ON!

[TrillianAstra]

*leaves the clever commentary for all else, but hopes some one will pass the heineken*

[Suzy Q]

Hey, woostergirl: You still got Jack all tied up with them SpongeBob bandannas?

[Gretchen]

Suzy: Don't drink beer. (Don't let the German name fool you.) I do, however, have a white rioja and some brie...

[WoosterGirl]

Check item for next week...

Audrey dead: check.

Dare we hope?

[Suzy Q]

Gretchen: I don't do the beer thing, either. Hm...thought it was you last week with the beer. Guess I'm gettin' old. Wine's better anyway. Brie.....mmmmmmmmmmm.

[JT]

O. the U.

Let's not forget "You despise me, don't you Rick?"

"I probably would if I thought about you."

Still, let's not be too harsh.

"You don't want to go down that road with me." (Jack.)

And who else can say "DAMN IT!" in a tone that clearly says "MOTHER#**@!!* SON)##$& UP THE &&##%@!@ WITH A GRAPE POPSICLE!!!!!" Answer: NOBODY but Jack.

[Gretchen]

Think of Awdrey's white coat as a hoodie... I don't think she CAN be killed. She's the Kim Bauer of the last two seasons.

[Matt and his cat]

All right, you're all going to have to pay a portion of my psychiatrist bill when I go in for treatment of my new 24 addiction. I'd never have even turned on the TV last Monday night if not for the hysterical posts here.

[Bill Peschel]

My prediction: the pilot and co-pilot will get it, leaving Jack to take the controls and fly the plane into the Power Broker's thigh.

[WoosterGirl]

Yeah, but they're starting to loosen.

Hmmm, I might have a thigh injury comin' on.

[camo]

Why do the writers not understand that we all hate Audrey so much, yet they still go after the only really good person on the show?

[slyeyes]

*races home from meeting*

Has it started yet?

and Yay for SuzyQ's sis!

[JT]

I think next season will have Jack fleeing to Canada after the government comes after him for reimbursement of needless destruction of property, leaving him penniless. (They give him a pass on the people, though.) He hightails it north and joins the Canadian Mounted Police, just in time to stop a terrorist plot to thaw Alaska.

"24, Season 6: Broke Jack, Mountie."

(Pause.)

Okay, maybe I tried a little too hard...

[Suzy Q]

Hey, Prez Allstate was just on. In a commercial for...........wait for it.....Allstate!

[Gretchen]

Slyeyes: a late meeting on 24 night? Does your boss work for ABC or something? I've given up Monday night at the gym for this.

[Suzy Q]

*waves to sly*

Hey, girl!

[LucyVanPelt]

Hmmmm, as it so happens a balding guy.

*scarily wonder's how Gretchen knew this.

*runs away to see if PDA is sending people info like that movie where computers take over the world.

*also wonders if Jack ever posed as a gyne, and if so where patients might get shot.

[Suzy Q]

sly: My sis told me she was supposed to be a "hooker" during the filming but she was too "sick." Yeah, sure.

[Bill Peschel]

JT, that was horrible.

I raise my (imaginary) Heinekin to you!

[JT]

Just remember where you heard it first. I wouldn't put it past the writers to see it and thoughtfully say, "You know..."

[24lover]

go to www.teavee.com/24 and vote

[slyeyes]

*Squeezes legs tightly together after reading LucyVanPelt's post.*

Hi, all.

*snorking at Eat This Meat commercial*

[daisymae]

Oowwwweeee! They still haven't broken out of the stir on "Prison Break". I thought tonight was the big night.

Oh, well...on to 24

[Gretchen]

Good news! The spouse is almost done making my dinner! Penne with spring vegetables and Italian sausage... Yay!

[wolfie]

*slides into her spot*

Corona.. check
Remote.. check
phone turned off.. check
sense of reality.. suspended
sense of humor.. engaged

I am ready for Jack and his hoodie. Does a hoodie work on a plane?

[Dr Alice]

Matt, that's how I got hooked too. Welcome to the madness.

[24lover]

First time poster, yet I have been watching 24 since the beginning. Just want to say hi!

[wolfie]

*waves*

hiya 24l and welcome.

[James T.]

Time to pay attention

[24lover]

oh crap! There's another 24lover here! Sorry 'bout that

[Suzy Q]

oh, wolfie, surely you know the Hoodie of Safety which has turned into the Hoodie of Invisibility can always turn into the Hoodie of Invincibility!!

[slyeyes]

Welcome 24lover!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!
JACK BAUER POWER HOUR!™

WITH AN EXTRA-SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE BY JACKSACK™ BUT NOT WILLIAM DEVANEY™!

NOTE: Blogit comments will be sporadic by me tonight, due to a late, crappy day at work, a sick child and my eating dinner at the same time. I'm hoping the Awwwwwdrey scenes don't ruin my apetite...

[Gretchen]

Hey 24/over! Sit back and enjoy the madness. Here we go!!!!

[Wendy]

A counterbalance to the Power Couple of Jack and Audrey is President Nix--uh, Logan and The Bald Guy that ER Killed Off??? That was a perfect opportunity to twist Martha's character 720 degrees, and the writers chose to waste her on mooning after Aaron. Aaron can take care of himself. Oh well, here we go...

[wolfie]

tropic left his tag dangling!!

[James T.]

LIES!

[daisymae]

"I HATE YOU", she says.

"I have everything in order," he says.

snork

[Gretchen]

Oops - that was an L. Makes more sense now...

[AFKAT]

JT...

I spent 30 years in the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and I can tell you truthfully that Jack Bauer is just NOT our kind of guy...his dialogue is too, errrr, well...wooden...

And I'm sure our budget could never survive the property damage...

[James T.]

A handoff! Of course!

[Suzy Q]

Yay, tropichunt guy is here!

[James T.]

Bill is in fact, out.

[wolfie]

Chloe wont abandon Jack even when her freedom is in peril. She is DaWoman!

[daisymae]

I think Bill is a good candidate for the dead list. Maybe Karen, too. Fer sure, weasel HS guy.

[James T.]

Get Chloe out of there now.

[Gretchen]

Madame Haig grows a pair! About time...

[tropichunt.com guy™]

I wonder if Jack will use his Cell Phone Of Death™ on the plane after the door was closed...because that would be a BIG no-no...

[slyeyes]

Richard Gilliland is in this -- that's Mr. Jean Smart (I think)

[Suzy Q]

Go, Madam Haig!

What the heck is a dry channel??

[daisymae]

What's a 'dry' channel?

[James T.]

Remember those directions, they'll come in handy later.

[wolfie]

Pppffttt.. like anyone has to worry about the curfew?

[Matt and his cat]

Chloe went into 4 year old mode there for a minute. "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

[Suzy Q]

Sounds painful.

[James T.]

Ahh! He's undressing!

[slyeyes]

Dry channel? try KY

[James T.]

Trick or treat!

[Matt and his cat]

daisy: Obviously, one that is alcohol free.

[Suzy Q]

snork at JamesT

[daisymae]

Did Chloe leave anything behind? Oops. they found her 'signature' on the computer.

[James T.]

Gasp! He was playing solitare!

[Varjak]

Talk about a thorough search!

[slyeyes]

*raises eyebrow*

He know that O'brien was the only one who could access a file?

[James T.]

Don't play games with me Bill, I'm sick of backgammon

[WoosterGirl]

Right under your NOSE!!!

[Gretchen]

Chemical peel, dude. How did a guy with skin that bad get to be an actor?

[daisymae]

snork @ Matt

Oooo...burn...on weasel guy!

[wolfie]

A grid! Ohnos!
Oh wait.. that's not the same as a perimeter.

[James T.]

Now it is you who are wasting the times, yes?

[Matt and his cat]

Wow, those cops were really observant.

[Suzy Q]

2:06 and no one's been shot. I'm disappointed.

[judi]

varjak: yeah, did you expect her to be on the bookshelf?

[Sam G.]

I won't be saying much tonight...
Not feeling well enough to be cynical.