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April 20, 2006


Didn't somebody already do this?

(Thanks to Gregg W. Jackson, this blog's old college roomie)


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Yeah, Dave ... the FIRST time wuz just a couple of ... well, mebbe it wuz ... um ... yeah, it's been done ...

Yes, Dave, but there can be no real DEFINITIVE "Most Horrible Song of All Time"...

...unless you count "Mandy"

I could go back and look it up ...

Wait a minute...I bought that song. OMG..I HAVE THAT ALBUM !!

*sobs silently in corner of blog*

Hey, O.

We did it together. How was it for you?

Yeah, I cried when I first heard it. And curled up into the fetal position and sucked my thumb.

BTW, the Bobby Goldsboro tribute site is just next to the Millard Fillmore tribute site.

Punkin' ...


You'll note that, your post is between ... um ... three-way ... um ... um ... *blushes* ... um ... nevemind ...

Mmmmmm....punkin sammich!

Yeah ... it's been done, sorta ...

Dave ... it's a link by PirateBoy on the FLYING thread ... so, technically, you and/or Blessed St. Judi did NOT post it ... but, it's here, if one but (not Butts) knows where to look ...

Aw, Dave, nobody could do The Worst Songs as well as you did.

". . . the sweet green icing flowing down,
Someone left the cake out in the rain . . ."

Of course, my hubby says he can never hear this anymore (I hope I never have to hear it again) without being reminded of Weird Al's Jurasic Park is Scary After Dark.

Yeah ... mmmmmmm ... yummmmm ... merely sayin' ...

(Stops to catch breath, snarfs 10-pack of FunSize® Snickers® to regain composure, and strength ...) gasp, gasp ...

well it IS a fracking load of tripe!!

weird al rocks!

I always sang the lyrics "Jurassic Park is Frightening in the Dark"
My favorite line: "and they sure don't act like Barney, cause they think I'm their dinner not their friend!"
Although I have to say I always thought Barney was scarier than the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park.

Todd Leopold ==> Told Old Dope ... 'bout this

I just can't take it - what a depressing article. Like - the chick dies dudes! And her dude was off doin something that he didnt even think was important to make a note of in the song!!

We had joy we had fun
We has seasons in the sun
But the trees that we climbed
Made for sturdy supports to tie one end of a rope to with the other end firmly around our neck

*hmmmm - have to work on the meter a bit*

hmmmm - have to work on the meter a bit ...

... Um ... CR ... nothin' personal, but ... don't quit your day job ...

... huh?

That is your day job?

Nevermind ...

Rats. Guess I just can't compete with an old college roomie. Not that Dave could have any other kind...

I still vote for "River Deep, Mountain High" (When I was a little boy, I had a rag doll...)

Couldn't stand it even when the great Harry Nilsson himself sang it...

Well, my vote for worst song of all time is "Hot in Herre" I don't know if it would make it worse if he learned to spell.

Just off the top of my head:

"Bang a Gong"
"99 Luftballoons"
"Spill The Wine"

Aaarrrgh! Now "Honey" has wormed into my ear and won't come out! Make it stop!!

I got sidetracked reading dave's articles linked to this article. hooray, "muskrat love" made the worst song list. thank you dave for validating that!

I did it on the Flying thread, but I'm sorry, I have to do THIS again here. And, yes, that link is from the NASA website of songs played to the astronauts.

I doubt if I would ever come back if that were done to me.

and Honey, I miss you...
so I'm doin' everything that moves...

sorry, had to say that...


Okay...so this got me thinking...would it be possible to take the worst song ever and make it even worse? I'm not sure.

MacArthur Park

Our future was like wet sand, babe
In a toppled hourglass
And when you undid my denim pants
I think my future got on your dress
And your hotness melted my iron
Before we ever had a chance

MacArthur's Park is sinking in the dark
It should go up, as you go on down
Like a cake responding to your yeast
But it seems I just can't take it
And I know if we could make it
It would feel really good, to say the least
Oh, no!

I still see your dirty dress
Hiked up by your head
But you brought me to me knees
When you did that butterfly thing with your hands
Like old men playing pocket pool in the trees

MacArthur's Park is sinking in the dark
It should go up, as you go on down
Like a cake responding to your yeast
But it seems I just can't take it
And I know if we could make it
It would feel really good, to say the least
Oh, no!


There will be some more poetry
For I will write it
There will be a girl who falls for me
For I'll invite it
I will think of grandmas dancing thru my head
With sagging breasts instead of perky ones
And hopefully we then will consummate
And then I'll think of you
And wonder how you'd rate

I will take it into my hands and I will use it
I will learn to make it work before I lose it
I will have the things that I desire
And my passion will flow like rivers but not on dresses
And after all the babes in my life
The really high number of babes in my life
I'll be thinking of you
And rembering this whole thing differently

[extended break]

MacArthur's Park is sinking in the dark
It should go up, as you go on down
Like a cake responding to your yeast
But it seems I just can't take it
And I know if we could make it
It would feel really good, to say the least
Oh, no!
Oh, no
No, no
Oh no!!

*snork* @ insom

The Wreck of the Emund Fitzgerald
Kung-Fu Fighting

*tosses a d up to previous post*


~ Big girls don't cry ~
~ Stop in the name of love ~
~ Walk like a man ~

Anything with the Everly Brothers,Tammy Wynette,Kenny Rogers and the Monkeys.

I don't remember who sang it, but when I was a child I thought the song "Run Joey Run" was like the greatest song ever recorded. I had the 45 and played it endlessly (it's a wonder my parents didn't toss me down a well)...

I heard it again as an adult and it made me realize just what an idiot child I must have been. But, in my defense, even as a child I thought "Honey" was dumb...

Just trying to get rid of the bold.

My vote for the worst:

Willie Nelson
Kris Kristofferson
George Jones
Dolly Parton
Loretta Lynn

dammit. unbold!

"I think my future got on your dress"

Absolutely hilarious.

gigantic *snork* for C'bol!

*private comment for clark kent, everyone else move along, please*

clark, as a child, I confess, I liked that song, too!

ok, the coast(not raven) is clear!

Hi, my name is Annie, and... I... I have to tell you that I earwormed "Honey" on this blog.... and...and I just wanted to say...that I'm sorry... and I'll try to be good...and I'd love to be with you... if only I could.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Butterfly Kisses as the worst song.

But, Dave, we'll always have Kookie, Lend Me Your Comb.

On the show SCTV Dave Thomas,immitating Richard Harris, does a hilarious version of MacArthur park !!

NOTHING was a good as that book! I still read it form time to time and still LMAO.

Worst song in the universe. may it die in spittle and dung. AMERICAN PIE!

Tell the people in New Orleans about taking the chevy to the levy but the levy was dry. A wet levy means FLOOD! I hate, hate, hate that song. Did I tell you how I felt about it!

Oh and A horse with no name is not only stupid, and horrid but lame as well.

OK, I will take my meds now.

I always thought "Holes in the Floor of Heaven" was unnecessarily bad. I especially wondered how this guy could even be alive if his grandma died at 8 years old. What, was this a Kentucky family?

One day SHY OF eight years old
Grandma passed away
I was a broken hearted little boy,
blowing out that birthday cake

How I cried when the sky let go
with a cold and lonesome rain
Momma smiled said don't be sad child
Grandma's watchin you today

'Cause there's holes in the floor of Heaven
and her tears are pourin' down
that's how you know she's watchin'
wishin' she could be here now
And sometimes if you're lonely
just remember she can see
there's holes in the floor of Heaven
and she's watchin' over you and me

It's been an observation of moi ownself's that when someone "dislikes" or "criticizes" a particular item (book, movie, song, color, car, dress, sport ... blah, blah, blah) the main reason for that "dislike" is an incomplete understanding of that item ... I include moi ownself in this observational analysis ...

Not trineta change anybuddy's mind ... merely observin' ...

I have to agree with Mikey on "A Horse with No Name"...

I mean, you're in the desert for days on end. NAME THE DAMN HORSE! What else do you have to do? And what if you fall off? What are you going to yell?

"Hey, you! With the tail... Come back!"

never got it....

While Miss American Pie ranks high on "One of the Worst Songs Ever" list, Weird Al's rendition of it ranks high on one of the best parodies ever!
"My, my this here Anakin guy, maybe Vader someday later but now he's just a small fry..."


And lost in a "killing frost?" Frosts only occur with CLEAR SKIES!

Unless the damn horse is blind or cross bread with a tomatoe, he couldn't get lost in a killing frost!

Damn horse is good name for ...


And lost in a "killing frost?" Frosts only occur with CLEAR SKIES!

Unless the damn horse is blind or cross bread with a tomatoe, he couldn't get lost in a killing frost!

Damn horse is good name for ...

"...the ocean is a desert with it's life underground..."

Exactly how much peyote is in this desert?

tomato and cross bred. Very good! Need meds.

Hey, but there ain't no one for to give you no pain....

O.theU I beg to differ - I have a complete understanding of He Stopped Loving Her Today, as well as I Will Always Love You, and HATE them both. I also find it roll on the floor funny to see people happily slow dancing to these songs since the first is about death, and the second basically sez "I love you but I cant stand to be in your presence any longer" - WHY THE HELL WOULD A HAPPY COUPLE DANCE TO EITHER SONG?!?


..."...the ocean is a desert with it's life underground..." Or are we talking about a sea horse here?


...Hey, but there ain't no one for to give you no pain.... except for the lyrics to this song.

*examines Mikey's double-post*

*corrects cross-bred and tomato*

Bangi, I found some vowels for you!

coast, Agree, The second should be an example of the "lame" excuse for dropping someone.

coast, Agree, The second should be an example of the "lame" excuse for dropping someone.

m is Mikey. Read before posting. SOrry -:(


thanks for the help :)

I always love these song threads... until I try and get to sleep. I am sure I'll be wishing for the Brain Bleach™ and an icepick to drive into my ears when I lie down in my bed tonight!

Also "under the cities, lies a heart made of ground, but the humans will give no love"


Mikey - no problem! (your corrections weren't there when I posted that, I swear!)

Mikey...quick, take your meds !

You mean you don't get the nuance, the subtle reference? Me neither.

Windmills of my Mind has to be up there too. The only way to understand it is to be totally stoned.

My list of worst songs ever...Don't it make my brown eyes blue, You light up my life, Billy don't be a hero, and Wildfire..ahhhhhh flashbacks!

also THIS


Or in jail.


Wildfire is "Horse with No Name" lite and just as nauseating!

Kept calling WIIIILLLDFIIIREEE! Stop already!

*waves to the wench*

Long time no see! Gotta admit, You Light Up My Life is right up there on my list.

Notice the high smarmy quotient in those songs?

People, let's butter Christobol, because he's on a roll!

How about some "honey?"

*slides uneasily into the blog*

*clears throat and screams*

* "I love Wildfire" *

*runs like hell from the blog*

Thus the name?

WOW MC - that took guts!! Kinda like shouting MOVIE in a crowded firehouse!

*waves to the Wench*
Hi, "honey". *snicker*

Musically Challenged has proven that he (or she) has the most approriate moniker.

Perhaps we could give him/her the RAP treament.
RAp music will, also clear your head of old songs that you don't want to have rattling around in there, like AMerican Pie and Wildfire.

But of course, you have to listen to rap.

I have to say that while I consider her talented and her songs are OK and all, that I have reached the saturation point with Kelly Clarkson. They play her songs round the clock on every station I can get...

To add insult to injury, I was at my favorite bar last night and the bartender had put in her CD and was playing the whole thing. After one rotation, I told her there was a huge tip in it for her if she played ANYTHING else.....

I don't think she's bad... but I can't take it anymore.

Sure, sure, there are lots of really bad songs out there. But, truth be told, even a great song depends entirely on who is singing it.

"Chevy Van"
"Horse With No Name"
"Ballad of the Green Berets"

And then there was my cousin's wife, who wanted the first dance at their wedding to be "When a Man Loves a Woman"...fortunately, I talked her out of it, and into "Emotions in Motion" by Ric O'Casic (yeah, I'm 100% I spelled his last name wrong - go ahead, you try it...

When I was in highschool, my physchology teacher brought in some religous nut to talk to the class about the Satanic messages contained in "American Pie". I was a very naive 16 year old but even then, I appreciated the great humor in that lesson. Ever since, I can't help but smile when I hear that song. Poor guy, he was all worked up, he really really believed that song was Satanic.

At my age, it's amazing I even remember being 16...

Double s*n*o*r*k @ Lab!
single snork @ Mikey (just to keep you from feeling slighted)

random!!!! Oh My GAWD!

jamester - Ric Ocasek. I'm an old Massachusetts boy.

This is a music thread and since I am also musically challeneged, I will refrain from posting...except to ask, C-bol is that as sung by Bill Clinton?

I agree- American Pie is EVIL and dumb and stupid...

Mikey - I'm assuming you clicked on the Wing link? Heinous.

I did. It is.

Ocasek. :)

*blows kiss to Tony*

Sorry, didn't see ya there! ;)

BWAHAHAHA, never, NEVER, click on my links. I'm evil.

*hangs head*
Gee, maybe i'm not God's gift to spelleng aftur awl...

Thanks Random, Ya shoulda warned me. Now it is STUCK IN MY HEAD! Need rap music cure.

Who the heck is that? Is that Yoko Ono? If it is, I will come to your house and kill you....

Clark, It sounds like Micheal Jackson. If it is I will accompany you. I'll bring the shovel.

Mikey, this little ditty should clear your noggin.

Clark, it's some woman named "Wing" who is not related in any way to the Beatles. She is just some American Idol wannabe.

She sounds like Michael Jackson. Only better.

clark & Mikey- for a little while, Wing replaced Barry as Dave's object of musical derision. I've learned to always hover and look at where those links are headed.


If only I had known, I wouldn't have to have used the toilet brush to clean my brain.

At least I'm young enough that I didn't have to endure Tiny Tim's 15 minutes of fame.... Saw a clip of him on Tonight Show and still marvel that anyone was entertained...

Didn't "Tiptoe through the Tulips" hit the top 10 or something?

*rolls in the 55 gallon drum of Brain Bleach™ and a pressure washer*

Make sure and share, as tempting as it is to use the entire barrel on yourself.

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