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April 21, 2006


Please check to see which airline you're flying.

(Thanks to Karl Weckstrom)


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Silly St. Petersburg Times. This article is 19 days late.

Sigh. I've lived in Atlanta for mumble mumble years. I remember when Triangle was the gold standard of the airline industry.

I sure wouldn't be volunteering my free time.

This is similar to the happy airline offer to charge a $15 fee to allow passengers the privilege of sitting in the comfy exit row seats, and ISIANMTU.

You too can shoulder the responsibility for your fellow passengers' safety in the event of an emergency landing, for a nominal fee!

Hmmm...plane's clean, gum's gone from the floor...lavatory is less than gross....Hey, this must be Delta!

Next, they'll be asking the passengers to do a clean-up drill before they open the door to let them exit at their destination.

i'm surprised they didn't feed the volunteers, 'course then they'd be working for peanuts!!

Heck - if they offer me free airfare, I'll be happy to clean during the flight.

Clean the toilets and get a free t-shirt? Sounds like they should call it "Homeless People's Airline". Kinda like the church downtown, but there they at least give you a free hair cut and a bowl of soup, too.

I work at a computer firm. As Y2K approached, we had to work extra shifts to prepare for a potential armageddon. My shift started at 5 am (Yes, I'm salaried). As an incentive to boost our sleepy morale at that hour, they gave us - not donuts, not coffee, not even bagels, but...a hat decorating contest.

Friday PM and Mudstuffin's ailing
his work is as dry as a Thankgiving bird

his mental soundtrack - a pseudosax wailing
the kind that at Wal-Marts and ariports is heard

Curse you, Dave Barry, for that rancid suggestion
that earwig that bored in and lodged fast and tight

Its given me a headache, and some indigestion
and I can't pry it out though try as I might

the Book of Bad Songs? - I made it unscathed
(OK, a mild case of "A Horse With No Name")

But this sax it goes on, its vapid soul braying
Kenny G's ghost plays and each song the same

Oh, would that a root canal could rid me of it
this eternal bleating that's coursing my brain!

I'd take the root canal, sir, and love it....
no, wait... I just switched to "A Horse With No Name"

Rinse Please

Annie: did you win?

*snorks* at mud

I'm still here, so no, I didn't win. :(

very sad. we are but cogs.

Other tasks to be outsourced to volunteers include:

Fueling the aircraft
Directing the aircraft to the terminal
Pushing the plane away from the gate *

* You have to pay extra and not just volunteer.

You get TWO t-shirts if you sign up to clean toilets at the CEO's estate.

Oh, no....what if my company finds out about this? Now I'm scared.

Only Dogbert could have come up with an idea this evil.

*Snork* at mudstuffin

AKKKKK...Barney cleanup ringtones...O the horror, the inhumanity...

Here in cubeland you get nothing for the extra effort but the boss gets corporate bonsuses......wondering for the 1,000 time today why I work here.

Dave, watch your seat selection. A later report said any passenger in a first row isle seat is responsible for taking drink orders--and collecting trash at the end of the flight.

MOTW, I think they should make passengers clean up before they get off - who do you think messes the whole D*%n plane up but the people who get super-economy class and think that because they have everything stashed in the overhead, they should be able to get right off the plane? Needless to say, pigs are cleaner than some of those people - and first class may be even worse. They are entitled....Sigh. I hate to fly.

Yeah, this'll work!
*eye roll*

YAY, mud redeems himself as poet extraordinare!!!


Here, this will help:

"It's a world of laughter..."

I'm flyin' American next week to Dallas.

I'll bring handy wipes, windex(tm), a squeegie, a bowl brush and rubber gloves in my carry on just in case.

Mikey --
I'm pretty sure a bowl brush is on the banned list for the TSA. You may have to smuggle it on board.

"Ladies and Gentlemen...we're experiencing a slight delay in our scheduled take-off. Your captain is removing a particularly stubborn heel mark from the back of Seat D-14 in Business Class, but should be available for piloting duties momentarily."

Oh, that's right. It is considered an WMD especially after use. I could decorate it ala Annie and wear it as a festive hat.

Now they will resurrect the old Sears catalogues to use as TP in the johns. Probably use one of those roll down towel things as well.

Maybe they could have a goat to eat the leftovers.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome aboard flight 234 non-stop to Dallas. I am Mindy your flight attendant, pilot and ground crew."

"Please fasten your seat belts in first class and hold onto the overhead strap in the cabin."

"FAA rules state that we must provide flotation devises since we may be flying over water. Please read the instructions on the Toys R Us(tm) inner tubes provided."

"First class passengers will be given small yachts Oh and cabin passengers are asked not to use the first class bathroom."


Who needs to eat when you have pride and a T Shirt?

Next GM will ask customers to assemble their own cars, since they are goin' hittin' the skids as well.

GM dealer, "Mr.Barry here is your new Corvette?"
Mr.Barry, "Where?"
GM dealer, "In that box. Here's a screw driver."

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