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April 13, 2006

SEDER UPDATE

During the Seder last night, the phone rang. I answered it, and the person on the other end was -- I am not making this up -- Shadoe Stevens. He said: "I'm here with Ted, and I have to tell you, I'm not seeing that much of a mullet."

After I hung up, my wife said, "Who was that?" I said, "It was Shadoe Stevens. He says Ted doesn't have a mullet." If you think I got a Look for getting Charoset on the ceiling, you can imagine the Look I got for that phone call.

In other Seder news from last night: During the part where my wife, acting as Leader, was reading about the ten plagues that were visited upon Egypt, I looked down and saw, crawling across the floor, a Florida cockroach the size of a small dog. It was not one of the official plagues, so I stomped on it.

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Dave you have the coolest life.

Only the Shadoe knows.
(Someone had to say it)

Shadoe Stevens! AAAACCCKK, that's so cool! :D

(The "Ted"-part? Eh, not so cool...) ;)

I love Shadoe. *drool* The voice, the eyes.

Great big *snork* at Dave's new, dead pet.

Don't bogart that roach, Dave.

"new dead pet" - *SNORK!!!*

Ya know, I wear my hair very similarly to the way Ted wears his (except mine's brushed straight back), and am now re-evaluating my entire look.

I mean, I didn't THINK I had a mullet, but if everyone else says so....

Don't believe him! Ted slipped him a $20 when he got off the phone.

And you realize the cockroach was innocently reinacting the locust plague and you just killed a participant in the whole festival thus negating its whole value. Do you have any idea of the plague you'll get for that?

Yeah - 5 foot long flesh eating worms. Excuse me - amphibians.

Dave - according to your tradition would it also be okay to stomp on, say, your mother-in-law during the Seder? Just asking.

Dave, you realize what a chance you took stomping that critter? Aren't they all armed in Florida?

Ya just GOTTA love "Family Fun With the Ten Plagues"
Thanx for sharin the laughs Dave!

shadoe stevens is still alive?

Ya know, he called me last Christmas at dinnertime - I think he does that on purpose.

Dave,
Maybe you could have a mullet expert call Ted during Easter diner to say he has one.

puppytoes: My thoughts exactly. And even if he is alive, does anyone remember him? Or care?

And how about your fluffy balls, Dave? How did they come out? Lip smackin' good?

Did anyone else read about the family fun at Seder?


My favorite part is when you scar your kids for life by drinking "blood" in front of them.

Dave: I just want to say if your wife's "Look" was anything like this you might want to start running now.

Thanx Lucy - now I need therapy.
*plops down a nickel*

At risk of wearing a scarlet "GEEZER" across my t-shirt, I admit to never having heard of "Shadoe Stevens."

I am assuming Shadoe is a guy. (No, I never heard of him either.) What kind of a guy has a name like Shadow anyway? The kind of guy who misdiagnoses a mullet, I guess.

Guin - I think it's only us geezers who REMEMBER Shadoe Stevens...

*Quickly rescinds geezer comment* You mean I'm actually too young to have heard of something?

In addition to being famos for having parents that couldn't spell, has done just about everything there is to do in shoobidness. Shadoe is a National radio host who (among other things) has had numerous syndicated shows - I believe he replaced Kasey Kasem on AT40. He has also made a name for himself as an actor in a few TV shows (including one that was based on work by the Blog hisself), a game show announcer, voice over artist, smoke signal sender, morse code technician, and sign interpreter for the State of the Union Address (OK I made some of that up). His site sez he is also an artist and has a novel on the way... I am certainly not his biggest fan, but he does rank up there as someone for an old yet aspiring radio guy to look up to for inspiration.

I think Shadoe Stevens played on the tv show Dave's World when it was on, a show that I believe was mullet free.

Sorry CR I type to slow and repeated your comment. Sorry.

I remember him best as Fred Rated in the old Federated Stores commercials...

He's also the announcer on Craig Ferguson's show (Craig, BTW, is supposed to be playing drums for the RBR when they come to LA later this month), AND was a regular on Dave's World, which was a show about Dave (hence the name).

Small world, eh?

No apologies needed ncc1701 - we were working on the same enterprise in the end.

Go boldly, CoastRaven, go boldly.

family fun with the 10 plagues has got to be one of the funniest things ever. i'm ready to convert now. i never realized how much fun my jewish neighbors were having!

Shadoe used to be on Hollywood Squars, IIRC. And he had a mullet then.

I am just floating an idea here, guys. When Dave is president, what do you think of Shadoe Stevens being the Seargent at Arms who announced the president of the united states at the State oF the Union address...

5) PESTILENCE ...If you can impersonate a dead animal, go right ahead...
Let's all impersonate "Dave's new, dead pet"
Dead bug everyone!!

What? You don't know the Dead Bug? Lie on your back and wave your arms and legs in the air. We used to do this with the kids at the preschool I volunteered at to get their wiggles out.

CR--Therapy by Blogging, it's a new concept I'm considering ;-)


For now, just curl into a little ball and start rocking, repeating...no, mommy, not seder family fun night again...

sarah, did you get to stomp on them if they wouldn't quit wiggling?

I'm fairly certain Shadoe (if that IS his real name) was afflicted by a mullet during Dave's World. This might explain his tragic misdiagnosis of Ted. Or it might be collusion to cover-up his youthful misdeeds. Whichever. In fact...if you follow this link, it appears that the blog, hisself might be sporting a mullet-ish do. But NOT a blue shirt.

http://home.twcny.rr.com/kotzin/davePHOTOS.htm

Pardon my non-linking...I'm lazy. :)

Thanks Mr C. I thought I was the only one who remembers Fred Rated. I don't even know if those stores are in business anymore!

Charlotte - Yep, they're still in business, but a lot of the smaller chains, such as Rich's and Burdines have been absorbed into the Macy's moniker.

Charlotte - I still remember "abargainabargainabargain!"

No stomping on the kids, but they were sure fun to watch with their eyes shut and their tongues hanging out of their mouths

Sarah - I'd rather see them with their mouths shut and their eyes hanging out of their heads.

(Does that make me a bad person?)

Ted - Absolutely BRILLIANT idea.

The following links have sanitized for your protection.

This is certainly THE SITE for info on Dave's World. It has pix of the whole cast and even The Blog himself.

Yes, the proceeding links are viewable by younger and more sensitive viewers (my rep is shot).

I like the pic of Dave and "Dave" - very cool.

DAVE, I'm still waiting to hear about Elijah...
...
...
...
...

Remember next year -- getting Charoset on the ceiling is now a part of the annual celebration.

I'm thinking that the stomping of the cockroach is a bit too common in Florida to solemnize for a Seder.

Thank you for making me aware of the Palestinian Mind Meld. Normally psionic techniques require physical contact so this alarmed me since it seemed to be done with a mere gaze. I pulled back feeling an elastic tug, heard a crackle, and then caught site of him in a mirror. Just as you'd said, there was a mullet!! Good God, man!! Who IS he?!!

Sometimes, like when he's gonna be in a fight, for safekeeping, Ted tucks the end of his mullet up under his yarmulke.

Don't ask me how I know this.

Shadoe - nice tan...still! And of course I remember you. How could I forget?

I'm new to this...who is Ted?

According to judi-
Ted Habte-Gabr is the Field Coordinator of the surging juggernaut etc. etc.Dave Barry for President campaign, and has a mullet.

El, I'm concerned that Dave may have stomped on Elijah.

I remember Shadoe as having one killer of a mullet back in the day. (and great eyes and voice)

"Run, Elijah, run!"

Palmetto bugs, Dave. They're not cockroaches in FL! Har!

As an aside to that, the biggest COCKROACH I ever saw was when I was visiting friends in southern GA. I'm tellin' ya, the Hot Shot didn't even begin to faze that sucker, so my host went for his shotgun. By the time he returned, the thing had let itself out the back door...thank GOD, 'cuz I was up on the table, screaming bloody murder by then. Yeeeech!

So while Dave is off having fun at his Sedar attended by the famous, not so famous, and half the free world via this blog; I am have anxiety attacks over the fact that the Easter Bunny will not visit my daughter this Sunday.

Mommie, Grandma & Grandpa will bring a small basket of gifts, possibly from the "Spring Rabbit" and this was cool, until today, when the Easter Bunny "came" to her daycare and left plastic eggs filled with candy everywhere.

Now all she can talk about is the Easter Bunny, and it doesn't help matters that her new classroom pet is a bunny (after a teacher accidentally killed the last pet, a chicken, by leaving it outside in the cold!)

To top matters off, I'm not even Jewish! I am actually a very liberal Christian, raised with Jewish friends, who, for my own liberal reasons, just doesn't feel like I should have to carry on the pretense of a mythical creature that has nothing to do with the Resurection in order for my child to be normal. (Santa Clause, is a different story, seeing as how he is real and all).

So to I cowtow to the pressures of rural Kentucky life and ensure the my child receives gifts from the Easter Bunny, or do I risk having crosses burnt on my lawn when she, next year, factually informs her three year old classmates that the Bunny is nothing more than an assimilation of pagan culture...

Or do we just microwave Peeps with toothpicks and leave it at that?


I am forever indebted to Shadoe Stevens for KROQ, the (then) awesome station that was the soundtrack to my life in the 80's.

Now I just wish he'd come back and fix it!!

... um ... y'all ... Shadoe Stevens is a Nodak-type person ... born and raised here, and started his radio career at the tender age of 11 ... merely sayin' ...

O. the U - I often speculate on the effect your frequent posts might be having on tourism in NoDak;) Any feedback?

Nevermind, O. the U. I found an answer here.

jacki -- it's best to kowtow, or as a Jewish friend said to me when I asked her why she celebrates Christmas, "I should tell my children that Santa doesn't love them?"

and *snork* @ Stupendous Man on his 'speculations' and...

(Stupe -- did you know your initials SM could stand for other...ummm...things...)

Yeah, Stupe' ... that's the story of our lives, here in Nodak ...

Some local brags us up ...

and the ...

We get the bird(s) ... merely sayin' ...

jacki - may I suggest the following:
FAMILY FUN WITH THE TEN CATHOLIC PLAGUES --
1) BEER -- Prepare a large, clear pitcher -- empty except for, ok, just empty. Now get a six-pack from the fridge. Happy Easter. Think of all the money you're saving on therapy because you didn't make your kids drink fake blood like Dave Barry down the street. Burp. Rinse bladder. Repeat.

2) BUNNIES -- And you thought it was a pagan ritual? Catholics traditionally reproduce as fast as bunnies. At least the chocolate ones don't ovulate!

3) PLASTIC EGGS-- After drinking six-pack, fill eggs with coins, candy, guilt trips, etc. and toss around the yard. These will be keep the kids busy outside in the morning while you apply the hair of the dog to your hangover.

4) BABY ANIMALS -- Does little Timmy realize that the baby chicks he sees at the Easter display in the mall will be in his Happy Meal next month?

5) PLASTIC GRASS -- You pop a jelly bean into your mouth. Oh, nooo - a piece of plastic grass is now stuck between your teeth! Meanwhile more pieces of grass are forming an armored division under your couch, to reappear at your 4th of July party.

6) COLORING EGGS (AKA THE PLAGUE OF THE WHITE CARPET) -- What dummy woke up one day and said, "Hey, let's boil some eggs and let the kids put bright colors on them. And let's do this right before we have everyone over for Easter dinner."???

7) BLACK JELLY BEANS-- and hey, they're kosher! Who knew?!

8) CONFUSION-- 'Good' Friday - Jesus is freakin' dead. What's so 'good' about that? When is a fast not a fast? When you're Catholic! When is 40 days not 40 days? When it's Lent! Badda-bing!

9) GUILT -- "Finish your meal - don't you know there are children starving in Ireland!" (If their mums cooked like mine, no wonder they were starving.)

10) FIRST BORN -- "Do you have any idea what we paid for your education?" When we Catholics pass down the torch to the next generation, we usually whack them over the head with it.

11) CHOCOLATE -- Yes, we have one more plague than the Jews. Neener, neener. You could look it up - it's in the NEW testament. Nyuk,nyuk!

Might I also add - Manischewitz has nuthin' on Gallo. Both are hideous. Oy!

Annie -

EXcellent summation and analysis!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

You nailed it!

Snorking @ AWBH whilst wondering to myself, how exactly did she help me? Oh yes, the 11th plague. Or is it dental plague?

Jacki...The older I get, the happier I am to participate in anybody's celebration of anything. Springtime and green grass and generous mythical bunnies (or plain old real bunnies) are all as good a reason as any to take a few minutes to have fun.
The observance of Easter or Passover as sacred festivals takes place on another level entirely, and depends on your faith. And I'm not advocating secular excess, like paying big bucks to bring home a 6 foot talking plush rabbit with an extensive wardrobe and a remote. Just sayin'...it's spring! Folks are happy, and bunnies are funny! Enjoy:)!

Jacki --
Easter Bunny? I thought it was the Easter Iguana.

Forgive my unlinked html http://www.rathlan.com/Photos/tabid/53/album/Animals/photo/iguana/Default.aspx

With the Komodo Dragon in Chicago this year, my wife won't let me dress up just in case someone overreacts when I put the eggs around the backyard.

Annie...since when is Chocolate a plague?

Wow, Annie... Let's get married! ;)

My favorite part of Easter is Monday, when I go to CVS and buy truckloads of Easter candy for 1/2 price, since my teenagers sleep all day Sunday.

*zips in*

*ahem*

Tamara, I think Annie is already spoken for - by me. :)

And anyway, aren't you and Punky pretty serious?
*snork*

Now, gals, let's not fight. After eating all my half-price Easter candy (Guin, I do the same thing and it's heavenly), there'll be enough of me for everyone.
Happy Keester, everyone!
-This morning, as a 'thank you' for writing the 10 plagues last night, G0d has sent me a migraine, replete with a tree chipper out front. IANMTU.

This may be a stupid question, but how IS Ted after the tornado that went through his city last night? (I noticed the UIowa URL and put two and two together.)

happy passover. wish i went to your seder. ours was as usual dull, what with only elijah dropping by. we dont have a token gentile to answer the phone.
but the food's great, isnt it.

i'm back now after a week with my relatives following a barmitzvah, then pesach. i have a lot of email and whatnot to read. mostly whatnot. but all kosher for passover, as am i. gut yomtov!

Ted actually calls LA home, but is concerned about Iowa City. All FOTs are fine and well, but the damage in the downtown area is terrible. Thanks for asking.

Oooh Shadoe Stevens. I had a nice dream about him once, but that was before I was married.

*snork* @ Annie for the 11 plagues.

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