GET BACK TO WORK

NOW.

(We apologize for the questionable nature of our posts this afternoon so far. But not in a believable way.)

(Thanks to Michael Ester)

Comments

[sparrow]

first?!

[rundogrun]

First!

[CoastRaven]

Theres a good way to build a team. Beat the snot out of the weak links in the chain.

[rundogrun]

Or not. I deserve a good spanking.

[reneviht]

A key issue is Orlando's credibility. She has testified that she is a recovering prescription drug addict who has been arrested twice for shoplifting.

How is that an issue? Earlier in the article the company admitted that these spankings are standard practice.

Am I the only one who can't say "spanking" while keeping a straight face? Also "underpants."

[queensbee]

whoa. and i thought i worked with a bunch of psychoes [not the spank-ee, the spank-ers..] yoikes, what whack jobs. hm, maybe poor choice of words....

[insomniac]

They say the practice wasn't discriminatory because supervisors spanked both male and female employees.

(Dylan)
They'll spank you when you're goofing on the job.
They'll spank you when you're stealing from the Mob
They'll spank you when your sales start to slow
They;ll spank you if the boss if feeling low.
But don't expect that you'll be thanked
Everybody must get spanked!

They'll spank you and say it's for your good.
They'd spank you in the nude, if they only could
They'll spank you ,though they know it's kinda rude
They'll spank you until they're good and sued!
But don't expect that you'll be thanked
Everybody must get spanked!

[Chianca at Large]

You know what they say: Spare the rod, spoil the field supervisor.

Oh wait ... Actually I'm the one who says that.

[Mikey]

Heck, when our team member aren't being good team pkayers, we put 'em in a sack and drop 'em in the river. Saves on severance pay and COBRA and the like.

[Mikey]

Spank you very much insomniac for the song!

By the way, Bob Dylan voice WILL be stuck in my head all evening. Muchas Gracias por nada!

[Mikey]

I seem to have lost my "s". I lost one one team and I lost one on Dylan. If you see any "s" roaming around. Please send them home.

[russell]

The Motivational Spankers" wbagnfarb

[Mikey]

Team Spank a new Olympic sport.

[Renee]

Let's see, how can we make a sappy motivational poster out of this one?

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

*snork* @ Renee! But unfortunately, it might actually motivate some people!

[O. the U(manity)]

Mikey -

I saw a really noteworth "S" when I wuz drivin' back from werk today ... If I'd've known you wanted it, I coulda picked it up ... merely sayin' ...

Yeah, this really sounds like a mature, responsible and modern company ... usin' ridicule and shame to promote self-confidence and team spirit ...

Sorry, end of rant ... I've werked with outfits like this ... not my favorite job on the old résumé ... the term "Sophomoric" is bein' too kind ...

[CoastRaven]

I lost my "S" in a poker game once.

[Renee]

Wow, I got a snork and I didn't even have to actually write a motivational slogan! Cool beans! Thanks, Lisa. :-)

I'd try writing one anyway, but I don't know if I have the skill to do it justice. Maybe we should just leave this one to our friends at Despair.com.

[Bumble]

I wonder if I could still sue my kindergarten teacher for spanking me on my birthday? Nah. Statute of limitations.

[Betsy]

Obviously Homeland Security should use this method to turn Sherry into a Team Player.

[Suzy Q]

Drat! I posted my comment on the wrong thread. Ok, here it is:

Motivational spankings? I am there!

[daisymae]

Major snork @ insom

(I know, it's not very original)

[Annie Where-but-here]

Suzy Q - the really scary part is, on the other thread, no one raised an eyebrow.

[Suzy Q]

Annie: yeah, I was wondering about that. I read that thread first, not knowing this one was waiting. Hm....

[Eleanor]

I'm reading everything out of order today, and only have 5 minutes before NCIS and the Yankees won!! and SuzyQ is cool even when nothing she says makes sense. :)

[Somewhere North]

So let me get this straight - a home security company hired a former drug addict with a criminal record for theft and they are being sued for unfair practices??

How much more liberal can you get with your standards?